Sunday, April 01, 2007

The Naked Hikers

We paid a visit to our friends in North Jersey this weekend. Here’s the write up of what I submitted for our log at / Big Green…

Listen… I’m not one to tell tales out of sort but something that happened to us, the EC-5 (well @ least two out of five of us – Mother Hen and yours truly) this weekend that just keeps playing out in my mind. Being from South Jersey it’s really easy to get back to nature in the woods and to get lost from the sights and sounds of a more heavily trafficked area such as where we were caching on Sunday, the first day of April. Mother Hen handles the lion’s share of our posts – wherever they may happen to appear; Big Green, SJG, SEPAG, NNJC – usually Mother Hen. Not for this one – no, not this time.

“Why is that?” you may ask; and that would be a fine question by the way. You North Jersey cachers are an astute lot; I love you guys so I’ll tell you. Before showing up at the “Pant’s on Fire” event at Ruby Tuesdays we happened to do a spot of caching. For the life of me I can’t remember what the name of the cache is (you’d have to ask MH) but it was a snatch and grab off of the parkway about ten or so miles before the Lincoln Tunnel. We pulled over at the suggested parking coordinates, I donned my cache bag and MH her hat (just in case of rain. It was a little overcast) and down the trail we went. Now if you’ll recall gentle reader, we are from the Swamps of South Jersey and not used to too much metropolitan caching. We were down the trail – oh, I’d say about a tenth of a mile and we could still hum of the tires of the vehicles on the parkway. No big - hey this is North East Jersey; it’s to be expected. Anyway, we’re walking along, MH with our trusty Garmin in hand and I ambling along next to her when we come over this hill and, to our surprise, there’s these two hikers one male and one female both wearing Tilley Hats, high end hiking boots and NOTHING ELSE. Gentle reader, when I say “NOTHING ELSE” I mean it in the truest and most accurate sense of the words. Nothing else.

“Whoa!” I said. With the utmost in tact and decorum, I might add. Mother Hen’s eyebrows raised as her jaw dropped.

“Hey, how’s it goin’?” Naked Guy asked.

“Pretty good…” I said. “…Say, I couldn’t help but notice the two of you are buck naked – is everything ok?”

The Naked Gal started to giggle and stepped forward. “Why I knew that there was something we forgot to pack.” This made Naked Guy chuckle. Mother Hen and I took a quick look at each other – just to make sure that we were on the same page. We were.

“XXXX and I” (note Gentle Reader, due to decorum I will not be naming names as to who the two hikers were – sorry) are on our daily Natural Hike.” Naked Guy nodded his head in agreement.

“Don’t you mean Nature Hike?” Mother Hen asked.

“No. Natural Hike.” Naked guy said. No sooner had these words escaped his mouth he began stretching as if he were warming up for the Boston Marathon.

“You see, a Natural Hike is where we free ourselves from the confines of unnatural materials and become one with nature.” Naked Gal said.

“Yeah.” Naked Guy responded looking up from touching his toes.

“It is so freeing…” Naked Gal said as she began her stretching exercises.

“I can see that.” I said. All of the sudden I felt this stinging on my bald spot. I heard the SMACK! a moment later. Mother Hen was not appreciating the benefits of stretching before one exercises.

“So what about thorns?” Mother Hen asked.

“What about them?” Naked Guy said standing from his hamstring stretch.

“Don’t they hit… sensitive areas?”

“It is always important to tread lightly whether you have clothes on or not.” Naked Gal said looking up from her toe touches.

“Yeah… I see what you mean…” I said.


So there you have it. We exchanged web addresses (it’s amazing what those Tilley Hats can hold), said our good byes and watched them hike past us on their way to parts unknown. Yet another wonderful adventure that Geocaching has brought into our lives. You just don’t know when you’re going to meet a kindred spirit out there on the trails. As it turns out the four of us are meeting in the same park next weekend for a four-mile Natural Hike.

Does anyone know what the extended forecast is for next Saturday? I sure hope it’s not gonna be too cold.


Joe Tornatore said...

what a story. its one that nobody believes you unless you have a witness. what a find!!!! i remember building a tree fort with my firends in the woods and a male and female streaker ran by us. i should have told them to take a hike but that would have been another stretch. smack.

Evil Chicken said...

I wonder if it was the same couple? : )

Joe Tornatore said...

did she have curves like an hourglass and a bottylicious...smack.

Evil Chicken said...

I don’t know about you but I’m still trying to perfect my ducking technique. It is my hope to avoid much SMACKING in the future.

Anonymous said...

I think it's SO COOL that you didn't freak out. I actually enjoy caching nude down here in Texas whenever I have the chance. How did your second meetup go?