Friday, June 27, 2008

...And the GEEK Shall Inherit the Earth


I’m a firm believer in the truth of that statement. Today, 6/27/08, Mr. Bill Gates stepped down from being the chairman for Microsoft. He will take a part time position with the company and dedicate his full time to running the myriad charities that he and his wife, Melinda support (see: http://www.gatesfoundation.org/default.htm). It’s good work but still Mr. Gates was, understandably, a little weepy at his last press conference as CEO this afternoon.

You know, love him or hate him you’ve got to recognize the fact that this man, literally, changed the world. He had a vision; a dream that spoke to him and told him that every home would eventually have a personal computer in it. He produced the operating system, by hook or by crook, and now Microsoft is a household staple. Windows has become the business standard (something that IBM should have recognized all those many years ago – that ship has sailed; the world has moved on). Oh sure Apple is alive and well, thank you very much but when the prevailing winds from the computer storms blow it fills the sails of Microsoft first.

If you get the chance, Gentle Reader, please track down a copy of the TV movie, “The Pirates of Silicon Valley” (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0168122/), as is mentioned in the dialogue of the film, “this stuff should be taught in schools”. Very interesting viewing when one considers all that has happened since Jobs and Wazniack constructed a computer in the garage and Gates found a way for them all (computers, that is) to talk to each other and do whatever it is that we want them to do. Put it in your Blockbuster or Netflix cue; gather the kids and family together for a history lesson masked in the guise of entertainment. Yes it is recent history but, lest their be no doubt, it changed the world.

All the best in your semi-retirement Mr. Gates; I sincerely wish you the best in your future endeavors.

Friday, June 20, 2008

Great Expectations


“Say, I’ve got an idea!” the sophomore exclaimed. Her book bag slung over one shoulder as she stood next to the lockers of her high school. It was between classes and a group of about a half dozen girls was gathered listening to their leader.

“Really?” acknowledged one of her girlfriends.

“Yeah what?” asked another a smile spreading across her face.

“Ok… let’s all make a promise to each other to get pregnant and have our babies together!”

“YEAH! What a great idea!” one said. They began to giggle and bounce up and down at the announcement. Kind of like the excitement they felt when they got those tickets to the Jonas Brother’s concert last month.

“…I’m sure we’ll be friends forever…”

Yeah – me too. Behold: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080620/ap_on_re_us/pregnancy_pact_13. Truth is stranger – yadda, yadda, yadda.

These kids have no clue. I do not care how “well reasoned” they believe their pact to be all the possibilities – all the great expectations of their futures are now on serious hold or just gone. Someday these children are going to realize that babies are not puppies or kittens. Someday. Of course by that time their parents will be raising their own grandchildren while the girls in the pregnancy pact will be starting to wonder just where all their friends went. There will still be much to consider for the new moms, after all the junior mid-terms will be coming up, a prom might be in some of their futures and, of course, the Jonas Brothers just might be returning to a concert stage somewhere nearby.

Somewhere a poor fishing community got a little poorer.

Monday, June 16, 2008

Stan Winston


You know, I’m getting pretty sick and tired writing about people who have passed on. I would like to take a break from said work but I would most certainly be remiss if I did not mention Mr. Stan Winston – a modern day wizard and artisan has fallen.

As a movie geek this hits me very close to where I live. Stan Winston was one of the men that I used to read about in Starlog Magazine back in the seventies and eighties. He was a magician and his medium was the fantastic – it was film. If you are not familiar with his body of work please see this write up from Aint It Cool News: http://www.aintitcool.com/node/37106 or click here: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0935644/, to see his credits from IMDB or here: http://www.hollywood.com/celebrity/Stan_Winston/197008, for another overview of his career.

Can you see the Terminator Endoskeleton in your mind’s eye? That was Stan Winston. The Aliens from Aliens? Mr. Winston. Those dinosaurs from Jurassic Parks I, II and III? All Stan. The man was a wizard. Iron Man? Yeah, that was him too. During the course of his career he earned four Oscars and was nominated for nine. He was a film pioneer who loved what he did and influenced generations of filmmakers and dazzled millions of moviegoers everywhere.

Some holes just don’t get filled easily. Mr. Winston has left a big one. My prayers are with his family and friends at this time.

Thanks Mr. Winston. Godspeed.

Update: Please see this ever growing piece by contributors Cameron, Favreau, Darabont, Dante, Baker and others. The article is hosted by Harry from Ain’t It Cool News; check it out here: http://www.aintitcool.com/node/37109.

Update II (6/22/08): Once more; http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080623/ap_en_mo/stan_winston_memorial_2.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Tim Russert


I was camping this weekend and learned second hand that Tim Russert has passed away. I was not near my computer so please forgive the lateness of this particular entry. Here is MSNBC’s coverage: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/25145431/.

And now a small word about popular morning news programs namely ABC’s, “Good Morning America” and NBC’s, “Today Show”. For all intents and purposes that’s it for the big three networks – CBS has a morning show too but historically (or at least for the last 40 years) the program, in whatever incarnation it reinvents itself to be, trails far behind the others. Yes, for pop news shows in the morning it boils down to ABC and NBC. Both of them have headline and entertainment news and boatloads of fluff. While getting ready for work in the mornings for my Monday through Friday grind I watch for the weather forecast, to see which parts of the world are on fire, and to become, at least for a little bit, a little better informed.

But there is so much fluff to shovel. I do not blame the media completely for this – they are just giving the people what they want; which is capitalistic journalism. We, collectively, want to be entertained, in some cases, more so than we want to become informed. That’s why you see “Muffy the Water-Skiing Dog” or “What’s Brittany Doing Now?” right next to the economy, the obscene price of gas or the wars in Iraq or Afghanistan. There’s a lot to sift through in the free American news media today – the morning rush most of all. Because of this fluff cutting (and no, that is not a euphemism for passing gas) over the years I have switched allegiances from “Good Morning America” to the “Today Show”. Oh sure there is fluff to sort through but the hosts do not appear as fake and as plastic as ABC’s do. I have a hard time watching phony people deliver phony news. It is irritating.

Enter the “Today Show”. This is where I first became aware of Mr. Tim Russert. Russet had a passion for politics that was not faked or phony – he loved what he did and that passion spilled over into the segments that he appeared. I’ve never watched “Meet the Press”, the show that he has hosted for the last “16 plus years” (thank you Wikipedia), but, as a casual viewer who was doing other things on Sunday mornings I always missed it. On the “Today Show”, however, I had the opportunity to see him come to life during the Democratic nomination bid between Obama and Clinton and it was a joy to behold. He and Matt Lauer would have discussions and you could feel the radiant excitement that Russert was exuding. It was fun to watch and it was informative. Russert’s passion was contagious.

My prayers go out to his family and friends at this time. Some people you just don’t replace as easily as others. Tim Russert was one of those people.

Godspeed.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

While Mowing the Lawn


I don’t know if you have a lawn or not Gentle Reader but I happen to have one. I don’t like it. Oh sure, it’s nice once it’s mowed but as sure as the tides, it just keeps growing; which means I just keep mowing. It is an endless cycle.

I think that I’d prefer ivy. You don’t have to mow ivy. I haven’t told Mother Hen this yet but a friend of mine from work has scored me a bucket full. She tells me that all I have to do is pick it up, plant it and water it.

“Water it?” I asked.

“Yeah, water it. It’s a plant – it needs water at least when it’s starting out.”

“…Right.” It’s gardening tips such as this that continue to elude me. Well, until I pick up the stuff I’m mowing. Tonight I had several things swishing around my neuro-passageways and, for your reading pleasure (and so I can put my wacky thoughts down somewhere) I’m putting them right here in this blog. …Well, not all of them, my mind can go to some pretty strange and (at least for yours truly) wonderful places. What can I say; some things are better left unsaid – it’ll let you still maintain the idea that I have a modicum of sanity and it will let me preserve a modicum of decorum.

Since that is the case, here are my censored thoughts that I had while mowing the lawn.

1. I hate grass. There really seems to be no reason for the stuff. I began to make plans (once again) to take (since ‘steal’ is such a bad word) one of those signs on Route 55 (a “major” road way here in the Swamps of Jersey) that reads, “Weeping Love Grass: Do Not Mow”. Now I don’t know what that person was paid for coming up with such a statement – such an inspired thought, but clearly, they are not being paid enough. In one fell swoop it is now OK to let the grass grow, the taxpayers are happy (since they don’t have to shell out the salary, equipment fees and gas cost for cutting the grass), and it pleases the environmentalists. Pure genius.

2. Mother Hen – for amazing reasons that I will not go into here.

3. My brood, Bad Wolf, Chicken Beta and Chicken Little. I began thinking of their futures and how much I would like to be around to be the COOL Grandfather and/or Pop Pop. Not to sound boastful or not humble or proud – trust me, I will be the COOL Grandfather and/or Pop Pop; come to think of it Mother Hen will be the COOL Grandmother and/or Mom Mom. What can I say? It’s what we do. This line of thinking made me consider the future. Bad Wolf if now 15. She’s a great kid and I’m wicked proud of her. For some reason I started comparing our ages. I was 21 when I got married. That is 6 years from now. Gentle Reader let me just say this made me stop pushing the dreaded lawn mower and look towards my house. Six years difference. Using my x-ray vision I could see that my children were all safe and happy and poking around on the internet and playing the Nintendo Wii but still… SIX YEARS until she (my oldest) is 21 – the same age I was when I got married to Mother Hen. Wow. Who are in my mind prospective suitors? Hmm… There was one boy who offered to donate blood to her a few years ago for her spinal surgery. Yeah, he’s a keeper. Then there was that one boy who she has a mutual love of videogames with… I don’t know. I do know what I tell my daughters when it comes to seeking and/or identifying your partner in life; I tell them, “One, they’ve got to love the Lord; and Two, they’ve got to love YOU”. That’s it. Nothing more. I don’t care about any of the other trappings. I also follow it up with saying to them, “Enjoy each other's company for a couple of years after you are married. But, when the time is right, give us many grandbabies.” Thank you very much.

4. Man, I hate grass.

5. I was at a funeral for a girl that I would have graduated with but she moved away in our junior year and was hit by a drunk driver while waiting at an intersection. I think of her from time to time. I remember her father saying to me at her funeral, “You were special to her… you were special.” Dear God, I can only imagine that pain – that loss. She was special too. I don’t know why she slipped into my thoughts but she did.

6. Samurai swords. Perhaps a Samurai sword would aid me with yard work? There are a couple of limbs and stickers that could use a mighty flash of cold steel. The rebellious hedges need to be brought back into line and walking the path of the Samurai while working on my lawn may just be what the doctor ordered.

7. I’m going to have to invest in some more gas soon. Five bucks just doesn’t buy the same amount of juice as it used to.

8. “The Incredible Hulk”. The film comes out tomorrow and I’m more jazzed then I thought I would be. Ang Lee’s “The Hulk” was hideous. There is more chemistry in a glass of lemon aid then there was between the lead actors; the story was choppy and Lee had absolutely no idea who the character was or any respect for the forty plus years of comic history that, as a steward, was placed into his hands. There is no excuse for that. So why am I interested? This is the second film that MARVEL is in complete control of the project. The first was “Iron Man” and that has become one of the finest superhero movies ever made. Add the idea that Robert Downey Jr. has a cameo as Tony Stark and Marvel has made me make me want to hand over the money in my wallet once more. I have a sneaky feeling that they are girding up for an absolutely amazing “Ultimates” (Avengers movie). Take it from me, True Believers – this is one geek who will be there opening night. Make Mine Marvel!

9. The ivy will be an improvement in the front. I’m going to start at the mailbox and see what happens from there. It will still be green AND it should kill the grass! Yeah BAY BEE!

10. Man, for a small lawn this thing takes a long time to mow.

And that was it; I was done for another week. So there you have it, a peek into my psyche while I mow. Still all that remains is the grass; I have no illusions though… I know that it will be back. For as much as I love spring and summer I really don’t like cutting the grass. Oh well, what’s a boy to do?

Plant some ivy I guess.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

The Moment of Truth


So have you seen the TV show on FOX? You know the one with the people who are willing to sell their souls to the network for the possibility of earning some amount of money and / or a moment of national attention – the one with the mental patients who want to be exploited for fun and profit?

Man, it’s wonderful to see what passes for entertainment these days. Perhaps a better question, or topic, would have been, “Have You Ever Seen the Movie Idiocracy”? IMDB has listed the film’s plot as, “Private Joe Bauers, the definition of "average American", is selected by the Pentagon to be the guinea pig for a top-secret hibernation program. Forgotten, he awakes 500 years in the future. He discovers a society so incredibly dumbed-down that he's easily the most intelligent person alive.” The film is not the greatest movie ever made but it does bring up some very interesting (and by ‘interesting’ I mean scary) implications for the future and, dare I say, even for right NOW. The film is by Mike Judge, the same guy who was responsible for “Beavis and Butt-Head”, “King of the Hill”, and the cult hit, “Office Space”. During the movie one of the game shows in the future is a program called, “Oww, My Balls!” which is a show where the host is repeatedly and via more and more strange and odd circumstances hit in his groin. Barbaric? It’s the number one show in the future.

Let’s fast forward to the reality of now. “The Moment of Truth” is one of the highest rated shows on FOX. Barbaric? You bet, but you know, I don’t think that Mr. Mike Judge was really that far off with his theory of the future.

Gentle Reader, the future is now.

Sunday, June 08, 2008

We’re Back and Extra Crispy

Please allow me to preface this by saying; we (the EC-5) love camping down on Assateague Island with the wild ponies. We do it every year and if you haven’t yet done so, you should. We have camped up and down the eastern seaboard and it’s a great (and relatively cheap) way to see the countryside with the family. Seeing what’s going on at Assateague Island is no different.

Every year around Father’s Day, we and several other like minded individuals make the trip down to Maryland for a big bonfire on the beach. It’s a blast – and this year was no different save for the fact that 3 out of 5 of the EC-5 (my family) are sick and we are all (to one extent or another) now sunburned. Unfortunately the baby, Chicken Little got the worst of the sun. For the life of me I don’t know how since I kept lubing her and the rest of the kids up all the while their mother (Mother Hen) was Geocaching in Chincoteague. The poor kid is now sleeping in air conditioning and she’s glowing. Come to think of it, 4 out of 5 of us are – only Mother Hen does not share our fate; she escaped it by caching and not going to the beach. Such is life; you see, we love the ocean. We love the waves. I grew up outside of Wildwood, New Jersey and I can easily go on record and say that the waves on Assateague are much nicer (and by nicer I mean bigger, more successive and, in some cases, more violent). I’m a big guy and some of those waves will roll me easily – big time. Please don’t let me give you the wrong impression, I’m no surfer but I can tell you what it’s like to be pushed to the bottom of an eight foot wave.

Ouch.

Pryor to the scalding from our home sun, we took a canoe trip in the back bay with about 20 other friends. It was a blast and a half. If you’re down that way pay the $15.00 entrance fee (it’s good for 7 days) into the federal side of the island and rent yourself a kayak or a canoe. We were in two canoes, got real close to a couple of herds of wild ponies. The water in the bay isn’t as deep as one would expect and if one were to capsize all you would have to do is stand up and drain you boat; too much fun. They also rent clamming rakes so you can collect your own appetizer for your evening meal. Nice – hey, everything’s better with Old Bay and butter.

We made everyone as comfortable as possible and enjoyed the bonfire to the best of our ability. A friend of ours by the name of Silent Dave had procured a cross section of a hollowed out tree which burned all night long; simply amazing.

There was a group heading into Ocean City, Maryland today (to escape the heat) but we bailed. Three out of five of us were in no condition to continue. Chicken Beta was throwing up, as were Mother Hen and Chicken Little, as previously stated, was/is extra crispy and could not effectively move. That’s three members down. The math didn’t add up so we came home early. I had the three sick ones sitting in our Ford Explorer in the air conditioning while Bad Wolf and I broke camp.

God Bless my first child. She rocks out loud. The process would have been much longer without her.

Of our friends, most stayed; we and a few others bailed on account of sickness, the sun, or because of the Dreaded Monday Morning. I thank them all – each and every one, for another unforgettable time on Assateague Island. Yes we were bested by the fates this time but next time? Well, that’ll be a different story all together.

…We shall return…

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

So, Is This Legal?

Happy Election Day – sort of. If you are living in New Jersey I hope you voted. I don’t care how you voted I just hope that you did so since I don’t believe you have much room to complain about the “powers that be” if you don’t participate in the process of "democracy". I am neither a republican nor a democrat and to yours truly, both of the grand old parties are all just a part of the same machine. Well, today I had the unusual and unique opportunity to see the machine in action. I thought that I would pass along the tale to YOU Gentle Reader so that I could ask and gage to see if what I saw and heard was / is legal or not.

Here is what happened. Two co-workers and myself stop into a deli before accomplishing a work related task that was set before us (I’d go into greater detail but I make a point to not discuss work here at Evil Chicken Scratch. You’ll have to wait for the novel). It’s about 11:40 AM and I notice that there seems to be a lot of people hanging around the place, to be more precise there was a large amount of Latino patrons hanging around the place. One guy had a great Spiderman club shirt that I was going to compliment him on but the sandwich that I ordered was calling my name. A politician came through the crowd and entered into (I kid you not) the back room where everyone was congregating. From my seat I could see the whole thing. He was polished in a nice shirt and tie and wearing fine tailored pants. There was quite a nice spread too; sandwiches of all shapes and sizes and buckets of coleslaw, potato & macaroni salad took up the whole area where the stage is located. There were bumper stickers and buttons for the candidate in question and thick manila envelopes were being passed out to the crowd of about 30 people.

“Ok, today the person who gets the most amount of people out to vote wins $500.00! The person that gets the second largest amount gets $250.00!” he announced. The crowd reacted with a quick but heartfelt smattering of applause.

“Is that legal?” I asked my coworkers.

“Politics? Unfortunately, yes.”

“No really, can he do that?” I asked again.

“I’m not sure.”

“Me neither.” I said grabbing my large cup of Black Satin coffee. I needed to hit the cream and sweetener station. I ran into one of the owners of the place there and smiled as I asked, “Hey, is this legal?”

He looked at me and smiled nervously; “…Yes it is good coffee.” And he shuffled away from where I stood. I looked over at the politician and our eyes met. He quickly turned back to his audience as I grabbed my three Splendas and my shot of half and half and headed back to our table.

“Enjoy the food.” The politician said. Some did and some didn’t. Those that did not were apparently hoping to grab a piece of that $500.00 prize. Hey, the early bird gets the worm. The politician put on a designer pair of dark glasses.

“He’s leaving.” I said. “Now whether it’s through the back door or the front door is still up for grabs.”

One of my co-workers glanced over her shoulder. That’s XXX.” She said.

“Really?” I said.

“Yep.” She said. I will not go into detail on the where’s and why’s she would know but, let’s just take it as a given, she knows. He walked passed our table as workers replenished the food that was eaten from the buffet.

“It looks like they are going to have another round of people come through here.” One of my co-workers said.

“Yeah, no doubt.” My other co-worker said.

I started humming the “Mission Impossible” theme. “I’ll be right back.”

“Where are you going?”

“To the bathroom. It’s not my fault that the bathroom happens to be past the back room.” I said.

“We’ll meet you in the van.”

I passed my coffee to one of my friends and thanked her for holding onto it. Off to the bathroom I went. On my way there I couldn’t help but notice the bumper stickers, buttons and manila envelopes scattered throughout the room. I made a mental note of where the buttons were, where the only two people in the room were and of the buffet.

…What can I say I love a buffet.

After using the facilities I decided to abscond with (not steal because stealing would be bad) a button. I needed to know who was selling whom. I smiled at the couple enjoying their sandwiches (they were engrossed in a deep political conversation), went to the table with the propaganda and took a button. I quickly stuck it into my right front pocket and exited the establishment giving my compliments to the fine hands that had crafted our sandwiches.

As I approached our van I flashed the button. My co-workers began to giggle, as did I. NOW I am pondering was what we, three humble servants during a half-lunch break, saw legal or not.

After getting home I relayed the experience to a paralegal I am well acquainted with. I will hold what she suggested in strict confidence until I hear from YOU Gentle Reader.

So… was it legal?

Monday, June 02, 2008

"May You Live In Interesting Times…"


That famed “Chinese Curse” that the Chinese never really said. Even if the authenticity of its origins is questionable the weight of the “curse” is undeniable; may you live in interesting times. Gentle Reader, lest there be no doubt, these are interesting times.

“How so?”

Once more, that is a very good question, Gentle Reader and, dare I say, something that I would ask myself if posed such a question. What do you say we check out some of the headlines for the last 24 hours or so, hmmmm? …Now lets see here… ignoring the wars and elections…

Bo Diddley passed away at the age of 79 (see: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080603/ap_en_ce/obit_diddley_10). “Who?” You may not know him but you know the sound that he created. With a homemade rectangular guitar he introduced a new rhythm, a new music to the world – it was called “Rock and Roll”. He died surrounded by his family at his home in Florida.

Ted Kennedy was operated on for a malignant brain tumor. Putting politics aside I know exactly where he and his family are right now. I pray that all goes well with his recovery and that the doctors are able to “get it all”. Cancer is a hell of a disease that simply does not care who you are or whatever it is you do or have done or haven’t done with your time here; it just grows and spreads. I truly wish him and his the best with the radiation and chemotherapy treatments that will follow. What more can I say? God bless.

Universal Studios was on fire. Two city blocks worth of movie sets including the New York and New England street sets are gone. To put that in perspective Ralphie’s town from “A Christmas Story”, Marty McFly’s town from “Back to the Future” and Spiderman’s New York have all just turned to ash. I realize that it will be built again and I am pleased that there has been no one hurt and no loss of life but the film history that just went up in smoke is somewhat – for lack of a better word; sad. These sets have appeared in countless films and television programs. From what I understand the television archive was burning too. This particular archive was where they stored copies of the original master prints and those prints are safe. Universal needs a better plan for times such as this. I hear that this is the seventh fire since 1916 (?).

In what can only be seen as a sign of the End Times, “Sex and the City” beat out “Indiana Jones” at the multiplex this past weekend. What kind of a world are we living in?

Then there is the tale of my almost accident. I was almost in a head on collision after church on Sunday. A gentleman in a blue pickup truck decided that he was tired of driving on the right side of the road and decided to head directly for me while I was waiting at a stop sign. He missed me by about a foot and a half, put his truck in reverse and began blaming me for our near collision.

“You know they have these octagonal things that you are supposed to stop at.” He said. The fact that he was speeding, had passed a solid line, and was clearly in my lane escaped him in his mission to assign blame anywhere else than where it needed to be placed.

“Really? You know, they’ve also got these things…” as I began to reply my eyes caught the Ixthis fish carabineer that I have hanging from my rear view mirror and the words of the Sunday morning message began to resonate in my ears “You are the only church some people ever see”. It’s somewhat of a shame too since I really had some pretty good material to choose from – I could have gone with the speeding or the crossing on a solid line thing, but what I really had my sights on was the whole wrong lane thing. I could hear myself mentioning the fact that while choosing the left lane is perfectly acceptable in the Bahamas or Jolly Ole’ England it is frowned upon here stateside. But I did not.

“Yeah?” he asked.

“…Stay safe.” I said. That was it, nothing more, nothing less. He drove off one way and I the other; just another tiny blip in a sting of interesting events.

Here’s hoping that things get a little less interesting in the next 24 hours.

Friday, May 30, 2008

Go Do That Voodoo That You Do So Well


Mr. Harvey Korman passed yesterday at the age of 81. Here are the details; http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080530/ap_en_mo/obit_korman_27. Here is another excellent blog on Mr. Korman; http://www.aintitcool.com/node/36918.

“Blazing Saddles”, “History of the World Part I”, and of course, “The Carol Burnett Show”, simply would not have been the same without him. I always loved the pairing of Tim Conway and Harvey Korman as well but the real joy was watching them improvise and fly by the seat of their pants during those skits; they turned mistakes, gaffs and bloopers into pure comedy gold.

My thoughts and prayers are with his friends and family at this time. Mel Brooks said, “"A world without Harvey Korman — it's a more serious world…”

He was right.

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Memorial Day

Bad Wolf and I were driving along yesterday and the topic of Memorial Day came up.

“Tell me about it – why is it a holiday?” she asked.

“Well, it is to honor people who have fought for our country.” I volunteered.

“Yeah, I know that but is it for other people too, you know non-military people?”

“Uh… yeah… well I suppose it could be – sure.”

“So how did it start?” she asked.

“Hmm?”

“How did it begin?”

“…” I said. “You know what – I think that we’re going to check the internet when we get home; we’ll both learn all about it.”

And that is almost exactly what we did. (We really got frustrated trying to get our cell phones to play MP3s through our headphones, grilled some steaks and had a bonfire with the family; BUT we still had it in the back of our minds… Really.) Enter this blog.

As with many things that I’m fuzzy on I consulted my favorite second brain, Wikipedia about all things Memorial Day. You can check it for yourself here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Memorial_day too. Here’s a snippet Gentle Reader, “Memorial Day is a United States Federal holiday observed on the last Monday of May (in 2008 on May 26). Formerly known as Decoration Day, it commemorates U.S. men and women who perished while in military service to their country. First enacted to honor Union soldiers of the American Civil War, after World War I, Memorial Day was expanded to include casualties of any war or military action.

Many people observe this holiday by visiting cemeteries and memorials. A national moment of remembrance takes place at 3 p.m. US Eastern time. Another tradition is to fly the U.S. Flag at half-staff from dawn until noon local time. Volunteers usually place an American flag upon each grave site located in a National Cemetary.
In addition to remembrance, Memorial Day is also used as a time for picnics, barbecues, family gatherings, and sporting events. One of the longest standing traditions is the running of the Indianapolis 500, which has been held in conjunction with Memorial Day since 1911. Some Americans also view Memorial Day as the unofficial beginning of summer and Labor Day as the unofficial end of the season. The national "Click It or Ticket" campaign ramps up beginning Memorial Day weekend, noting the beginning of the most dangerous season for auto accidents and other safety related incidents. The U.S. Air Force’s "101 Critical Days of Summer" begin on this day as well. Many Americans use Memorial Day to also honor any family members who have died, not just servicemen…”

So there you have it. Thank a Vet this weekend. These people put everything on the line to defend everything that we have a tendency to take for granted. End of sermon. Enjoy any and all BBQs that you visit and beware of the “Click It or Ticket” campaign.

Happy Memorial Day

Sunday, May 18, 2008

My Sticky Buns


I love a good coffee shop. That’s no secret. From time to time (and when I find ‘em) I like to pass along the establishment’s name to you Gentle Reader, so that you can check them out for yourself. This past weekend I had the pleasure of being in the company of a fine group of friends as we geocached up and down the Camden River Line. In our travels we found just such a blogworthy establishment.

I’ve been slacking on the low-carb lifestyle recently. I’ll be back to being a low carb warrior soon enough but I’ve been enjoying my back slide – what it is doing to my backside is another matter all together.

That being said, you owe it to yourself to check out, “My Sticky Buns”. It’s a bakery and a coffee house and the free samples will have your mouth watering. Once you get a mouthful you won't be able to keep your hands off of, “My Sticky Buns”. They are open 7 days a week from 6:00 AM till whenever Monday – Friday and from 8:00 AM till whenever on weekends. They are located at the corner of 400 High St. and W. Broad St. in Burlington City, NJ.

So what are you waiting for? Go ahead and sink your teeth into “My Sticky Buns”. You won’t be disappointed.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Pssst. Indy IV is Coming Soon!

I am very much so looking forward to opening day for another chance to keep up with the Jones'.



Please allow me to say that “Raiders of the Lost Ark” is one of my all time favorite films. In 1981, Spielberg and Lucas captured lightning in a bottle when they crafted Raiders. It is one of the most influential films of all time and a lean, mean, storytelling machine. People have said about Raiders that there is nothing wasted, nothing lost in that film. They are right. It’s one of my stranded on a deserted island movies – no exaggeration.

I couldn’t wait for the sequel. I was rabid. My expectations were high in 1984, when “Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom” came out. I remember seeing it at the old, art deco, Landis Theater in Vineland with my Dad. While I liked it I came away from the theater somewhat disappointed – it just wasn’t Raiders. My expectations were too high and the fart machine that my father and I smuggled into the packed theater ultimately proved to be more memorable. Still, it was Indiana Jones and, unlike a lot of movies I see, I can watch it and still enjoy it today. Even so, Temple of Doom is my least favorite entry of the series.

“Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade” opened in 1989 and, yours truly was there opening night. Sean Connery played Indiana Jones’ father – now what amazing casting is that? James Bond is Indy’s dad? Brilliant. I enjoyed the movie more than Temple of Doom largely due to the amazing chemistry between Ford and Connery. Great stuff. Sure there are amazing writer’s conveniences throughout the movie, some of the supporting actors were relegated to cartoon stooges and (MILD SPOILER – I’ll let you know when it’s safe to read again. BTW, why have you NOT seen it?) I think the ending would have had more impact if Indy’s dad chose to or had to stay there in the cavern and become the next knight protector of the Grail. (SPOILER OVER – come on in, the water’s fine) The Last Crusade is a better film than the Temple of Doom. It was great trying to keep up with the Jones’ and in the end when they rode off into the sunset a little part of my geek-boy heart went with them. I didn’t suspect that there would be another Indiana Jones adventure on the big screen.

As you know, Gentle Reader I was wrong. I thank God, that I was wrong. “Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull” opens everywhere on May 22nd. This one takes place in the 1950’s so Indy will be fighting Commies instead of Nazis. Time has passed even for Indiana Jones. Ford, Spielberg and Lucas are playing to the age of the character, which is a strength. With Indiana Jones what makes the character so appealing is his humanity; he’s flesh, bone and blood. Karen Allen is reprising her role as Marion Ravenwood, which is brilliant and Shia LaBeouf as “Mutt”. No official word on if he’s Indy’s son or not. I guess I’ll just have to be at the 12:01 showing to find that answer out.

Spielberg and Lucas bottled lightning all those years ago – I want to see them do it again. It won’t be Raiders but it doesn’t have to be – it’s Indiana Jones once more on the big screen and that’s all right with me.

See you at the multiplex.

Friday, May 09, 2008

“I’ve Been Everywhere, Man, I’ve Been Everywhere…”

48 States, 5 Days, 3 Men = the GREAT AMERICAN ROAD TRIP.

Gory Details: http://www.greatamericanroadtrip.us/.

I love these guys. 7,000 miles in less than 5 days! Check out their blog.

I stumbled across their story tonight while poking around Yahoo; here’re the goods: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080509/ap_on_fe_st/odd48_state_trip_1.

Please let my go on record, Gentle Reader, this is something that I have always wanted to do. These days it just couldn’t be the breakneck speed that these guys, Joey, Josh, and Adam, did it in but rest assured given time and money (I hear that gas prices are up) I’d pack up the family in a heartbeat and start to rack up the miles.

So are the roadways of the lower 48 are calling you to release your inner Kerouac? You know my answer; what about you?

Oh yeah, they spent about $1,000.00 on gas during their trip.

Ouch. - The experience, however, was worth every penny.

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Yes, I Am a Pirate… 200 Years Too Late…


Gentle Reader, I don’t know if you are a Jimmy Buffett fan or not but please allow me to go on the record – from now until the end of time; yours truly, Evil Chicken, is a Parrot Head.

Yes – the truth can finally be told.

I don’t know if you have discovered the joys of MP3’s of WMA files but if you were to look at my hard drive you would soon see that I have about 836 Megabytes, 302 files in about 19 folders of Jimmy Buffett music. I have close to 24 hours of Buffett music kicking around on my hard drive. You could say I’m a bit of a Phan. In the hallowed halls of the Chicken’s Nest – where I sit and type these diatribes at the pleasing of the four winds; if you were to look at my bookshelf (on the second tier, mind you) you would find titles such as, “Where in the World is Joe Merchant”, “A Pirate Looks at Fifty”, and “A Salty Piece of Land”, all by Mr. Jimmy Buffett; of course these tales are next to Herman Wouk’s, “Don’t Stop the Carnival”. Of course those tomes are located next to my editions (one of them signed) of “Weird NJ Volume One” and “Weird NJ Volume Two” – but THAT is for another blog.

Please… let’s stick to the topic.

My attraction to Mr. Buffett is the fact that he tells stories; he paints pictures, he invents realities; places that you just want to go to and stay for a while – maybe even a lifetime. Do you know what I mean – that one particular harbor, so far and yet so near? Well, that’s what Jimmy Buffett music does for yours truly. It transports me to that place; you know the one – where the children play on the shores each day and the mainland disappears?

Yeah. That’s where I would like to be.

Another thing that draws me to this guy is his appreciation for great authors. “Barometer Soup”, which BTW, is one of my favorite albums, is based on several short stories from other writers. Including Mr. Samuel Clemons (Mark Twain). The song, “Remittance Man” is based on one of his books – it makes me misty every time I hear it.

Jimmy Buffett music usually elicits thoughts of living in ¾ time – island time and, quite frankly, that’s what it should do. It is an escape. It needs to take you out of that box that you are living in and put you somewhere else. I can’t tell you my all time favorite Buffett song but I can give you my top bakers dozen of cuts for your listening pleasure – hey, why not?

1. “A Pirate Looks at 40”
2. “Nautical Wheelers”
3. “Love in a Library” – (it reminds me of Mother Hen)
4. “Boats to Build”
5. “One Particular Harbor”
6. “Coast of Carolina” – (it reminds me of Mother Hen)
7. “Remittance Man”
8. “Tree Top Flyer”
9. “Window on the World”
10. “The Weather is Here, I Wish You Were Beautiful”
11. “Semi-True Story”
12. “Trying to Reason with the Hurricane Season”
13. “Mexico” – (What a great cover of a James Taylor song)

What can I tell you? Check the man out for yourself. I hope you enjoy him as much as yours truly does.

Phins Up!

Friday, May 02, 2008

Basking in the After Glow of Pure Geek Joy


Gentle Reader the summer movie season is upon us. This is my super bowl, my world series, my world cup. I love the eye candy that graces the multiplexes from sea to shining sea during May, June, July and August. And Ladies and Gentlemen, IRON MAN has set the bar for all other movies that will be released this summer.

I’ve been reading the spin on Iron Man for the last year or so. I follow this sort of thing – it’s what I do. This project marks the first time that Marvel has made a film on its own without having some studio executive throw in his two cents or product placement deal (see Macy Grey in Sony’s Spiderman or Prince doing the “Bat Dance” from Warner’s Batman). Marvel handled these duties and in the process has made probably the finest transfer from a comic book to a movie that has EVER been produced. Oh there have been some great comic book films (Superman – the Movie, Spiderman, X-Men, and Hellboy, but for each of these there are also the ugly side of the business. For every great Batman Begins you have to put up with a shoddy Hulk or a flimsy Fantastic Four. As a geek from WAY BACK let me just tell you those two films (three if you count Fantastic Four II) were complete and udder rubbish. Why? Because the people who made them had NO LOVE for and NO KNOWLEDGE of the characters, stories and heritage that was placed into their hands. Oh they may have had a decent opening weekend but if you are completely ignorant of the source material you have no business playing in that sandbox. They are forgetable films. All this leads me to why I absolutely love Iron Man. The people who made the film know, love, and respect the characters and their 45 plus years of heritage. They get it – and better still, they share the love with a world that just may not know who Tony Stark is.

The casting is inspired. Robert Downey Jr. IS Tony Stark. Hindsight being what it is, I cannot think of another actor who is more perfect for this role. Seriously. Jeff Bridges pulls off a wonderfully evil bad guy. And the rest of the cast is spot on too; Terence Howard and Gwyneth Paltrow deliver. There are geek moments aplenty but they are not overdone; those in the know will truly appreciate seeing what’s going on there on the silver screen those that don’t will be pleasantly surprised. Iron Man is not your typical brainless explosion fest; nope, Iron Man has been and always should be about Tony Stark – a changed man and watching his character develop and grow into something more than what he once was. The suit is secondary to what’s going on inside old Shell Head.

Go early, the final trailer for Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is attached and is very cool indeed. You can fully believe the Iron Man hype – it is so worth the price of admission. For my money it’s about the best comic book movie I have ever seen; not to toot my own horn, but that’s saying something.

Oh yes, and STAY for the end credits.

…That is all I can say on that matter… Let’s just say I’ve still got geek chills up and down my spine.

Thursday, May 01, 2008

The Frenzy is Over


As I type this Script Frenzy 2008 is rapidly coming to a close. Bad Wolf and I crossed the finish line (100 pages in 30 days) in the nick of time.

It took us longer than expected due to unforeseen commitments that arose during the month of April but it is finished. The majority of the script I’m very proud of. The stuff that I’m not so fond of we'll fix next month.

Hold on a tick… It’s 11:59.

Wait for it… Wait for it…

BAM! It’s midnight. It’s May first.

Bad Wolf and I will make our fixes this month. It has been a joy and honor writing with my daughter. I’m looking forward to “Tales of the Astounding – Volume TWO”.

Rock on kid.

For further information please see: http://www.scriptfrenzy.org/. Thanks once more to the Office of Letters and Light the non-profit that sponsors this as well as NaNoWriMo. It’s been way too much fun!

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Gandalf the Gray

Ian McKellen is the man - the man in gray that is! Bring on the Hobbit!

Check it out: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080430/ap_en_mo/people_ian_mckellen_1

I’m tingling at this news.

I’d write more but Bad Wolf and I are under the gun when it comes to completing Script Frenzy 2008.

See ya soon!

Saturday, April 26, 2008

San Diego Shark Attack


Here is the story from the Associated Press found on Yahoo by Allison Hoffman: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080426/ap_on_re_us/shark_attack_16.

Not to be too graphic but, and I quote, “(Dave) Martin, 66, died on the beach Friday morning after a shark, presumed to be a great white, lifted him out of the water with his legs in its jaws, leaving deep lacerations and shredding Martin's black wetsuit.”

Not a good way to go.

As a note Gentle Reader, when I go I want it to be peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather; not screaming in terror like the other passengers of the bus he was driving.

…Sorry.

I truly do not mean to sound glib at the death of Mr. Martin a tri-athlete who was training with other competitors and had his family and friends cheering him on from the shore when tragedy struck. Just clicking through the pictures truly makes you grieve for those left behind. Reading between the lines and clicking thorough the pictures Mr. Martin appears to have been a pretty dynamic man.

There is just something visceral about a shark attack. It cuts to the core of our fear of the unknown and our will to survive. No matter what the statistics are the fact still remains that you never really know what lies beneath. As was written on the first oceanic maps, “Here There Be Monsters.” Ms. Hoffman reports that, “Overall, shark attacks are extremely rare. There were 71 reported worldwide last year, up from 63 in 2006. Only one attack, in the South Pacific, was fatal, according to the University of Florida. The university's International Shark Attack File has counted an average of 4.1 people killed by sharks annually worldwide in the past seven years.”

4.1? That “Point One”, must be like being a “little pregnant”.

As with many areas in life we must accept the fact that there are sharks in the water. We can choose to stay on the shore for the rest of our days or we can accept the risk, and enjoy the discovery of the waves and the water. Some things you just can’t change and knowing “what lies beneath” is one of those things but I don’t think that should stop us from swimming.

Now where did I put my trunks?

Star Wars: The Clone Wars


I was down in Wildwood, NJ recently and the theater that I first saw the original “Star Wars” is now a condo. That little bit of history made my geek heart break a little. I mean really – condos? The theater closed in the late eighties and became a “Laser Tag” arena where players would run around shooting each other while people played sniper shooting at the players from the sidelines. The summer tourist attraction was originally located close to the “Jack Rabbit” roller coaster and “Dracula’s Castle”, both of which are now gone – just like the theater. While I morn it’s passing, the fact remains, MY first “Star Wars” experience was right there – in Wildwood, New Jersey; right next to my home church and the Atlantic Ocean.

It changed my life.

Really; it did. It may seem shallow but I saw “Star Wars” and I started to view the world from a different perspective. I saw how the power of story worked. I saw imagination and how it could touch and change the world and I loved it. I still do; but enough about ancient history… Let us consider the future.

Opening night is a special time for a movie geek. Let me spare us both some time in saying that “Star Wars: Episode One – The Phantom Menace”, “Star Wars: Episode Two – The Attack of the Clones”, and “Star Wars: Episode Three – The Revenge of the Sith”; I was there opening night. I did not like the “prequel trilogy” as much as the “original trilogy” but I was (and am) still on the Lucasfilm bandwagon, so to speak.

I liked the third one the best and it was not without a degree of sadness that when I saw the credits roll that I believed that there would never again be a STAR WARS movie in the theaters. Gentle Reader, I am very pleased to say that “Star Wars: The Clone Wars” will be in theaters on August 15th. The movie will be followed up with a computer generated TV series.

As per Ain’t It Cool News; http://www.aintitcool.com/talkback_display/36482?q=node/36482, you can check out this site: http://www.starwars.com/video/view/000623.html, which gives you all the gory details.

Star Wars – in the theaters once again? Sign me up.

Friday, April 25, 2008

Greenlight for a Hobbit


“The Hobbit” is coming to the big screen. Here’re the goods: http://www.variety.com/VR1117984595.html.

My geek heart is gushing.

Peter Jackson will be sharing executive producing credits with New Line Cinema. The two parties have settled all the nastiness of legalities between them and have hired GUILERMO DEL TORO, to direct! Del Toro is a visionary. Seriously; check out “Pan’s Labyrinth”, “The Devil’s Backbone” or, dare I say, “Hellboy” (BTW “Hellboy II” will be in theaters this summer).

“If not Jackson then who?” That was the question. Sam Rami’s name had been batted around and I was ok with that too but Del Toro is going to hit this one out of the park.

I can’t wait.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

18 – To Life

Yesterday (4/19/08), Mother Hen and I celebrated our 18th Wedding Anniversary. We spent the day geocaching down in Cape May.

“Geocaching? What’s that?” Yet another fine question, Gentle Reader. Please allow me to refer you to an article by Mr. Cody Glenn from The Daily Journal on the topic. He explains what it is better than I could do. The article came out on our anniversary. Check it out here: http://thedailyjournal.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080419/NEWS01/804190313.

Where was I? Oh yes, Cape May. We have a lot of memories in and around Cape May so any chance we get to kick around down there we usually take. We were married at the First Baptist Church in Wildwood, ate at The Lobster House in Cape May, missed the Ferry (Cape May – Lewes) and had to stay the night at the Heritage Inn before heading down to Chincoteague VA for our honeymoon weekend.

Of course that was all 18 years ago.

Things change. Time shifts. Mother Hen and I have now almost been married for half of our lives. This was a mathematical conundrum for me since I’m not the best mathematician and that idea just sounded so foreign. But it’s true – we have been married almost half of our lives. Love changes too.

“Huh?”

Stop interrupting me. Just kidding. What I mean is that Love changes too – in other words I love the woman I married more today than I did eighteen years ago. It’s a deeper, more mature love. I’m not saying that all the years have been easy ones but I am saying that they would have been so much harder without her – or rather, without “us”.

It’s a process – moving from “I” to “We”.

I met her at a bookstore, just after my father died. I bought a lot of books. We dated. We broke up. We saw other people. We got back together. We eloped. We got our own apartment. We started a family. We rented a house. We watched our family grow. We got a mortgage. We are still here.

You see the process? “We” is better than “I”. I, for one, wouldn’t want it any other way – even after 18 years.

I love you, Lady.


BTW… As an ongoing part of Ye old Blog of Yore I recommend coffee houses that I like or would like other people to experience for themselves. In our travels this weekend Mother Hen and I found another place that deserves mention. It’s called Coffee Etc., it’s located 3016 Rt. 9, Seaville, NJ – about an 1/8th of a mile south of Rt. 9 & Rt. 50. They open daily at 6:30 AM. The Sumatran Roast is awesome and goes great with chocolate covered strawberries. Please note – you MUST try the chocolate covered strawberries; they rock.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

The Last of the Nine Has Fallen


Ollie Johnston was 95 years old when he passed from natural causes. He was the last of Walt Disney’s “Nine Old Men”. Read all about it here: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080415/ap_en_mo/obit_johnston_3.

Ollie Johnson was at ground zero and had a hand in shaping some of the most influential films ever made. As the Yahoo article says his credits include such films as “Bambi”, "Cinderella," "Alice in Wonderland," "Peter Pan" "Lady and the Tramp," "Sleeping Beauty," "101 Dalmatians," "Mary Poppins," "The Jungle Book," "The Aristocats," "Robin Hood" and "The Rescuers."

That’s an impressive body of work. I love what Leonard Maltin said in the Yahoo article, “(People) know his work. They know his characters. They’ve seen him act without realizing it. He was one of the pillars, one of the key contributors to the golden age of Disney animation.”

I’ll have to put “Frank & Ollie” in my Blockbuster que. It’s a documentary about two of the Nine Old Men who used to car pool 45 minutes to and from work at Disney Studios.

A chapter has now closed. My thoughts and prayers are with his family and friends at this time.

Sunday, April 13, 2008

EXPELLED: No Intelligence Allowed


Just to take a break from the usual superfluous stuff that you are used to here, Gentle Reader I humbly present yet another movie that I’m really looking forward to; EXPELLED: No Intelligence Allowed. This film is going to open a dialogue on a polarizing topic: “Just where did we come from?”

Check it out here: http://expelledthemovie.com/

If you have poked around this blog for a while then you may have surmised that I fall into the Intelligent Design category. I believe that there is a creator ergo an Intelligent Designer. I have always had a lot of respect for Ben Stein and the film will be worth the price of admission.

EXPELLED: No Intelligence Allowed opens all over the place on 4/18/08.

Butter my popcorn.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

The 20th Annual Appel Farm Art & Music Festival


Saturday, June 7 from 11:30 AM – 8:00 PM the 20th Annual Appel Farm Art & Music Festival will be underway. Michaela Majoun and Gene Shay of WXPN 88.5 will be on hand too. There are going to be a boatload of kid’s activities too. Children under 12 are free while Adults are $35 (until May 30th), $40 (until June 6th) and $45 (day of show).

I’ve made mention before as to how much I detest processed, mass market consumption “music” these days. I have to ask what ever happened to melody? What ever happened to musicians – you know people who play their own instruments? Whatever happened to the singer/songwriter? Well it’s events such as this: http://www.appelfarm.org/festival/index.html that gives me hope that all is not lost. This site gives you all the gloriously gory details.

Signed musicians include Marc Cohn, They Might Be Giants, Suzanne Vega, The Smithereens, Vienna Teng, Enter The Haggis, Lucy Kaplansky, Red Molly, Christina Courtin, Matt Duke, Alfred James Band and Nicole Reynolds. I’ve always wanted to see The Smithereens. Enter the Haggis sounds like fun too. Chick 1.0 is a Suzanne Vega fan and Chick 2.0 and 3.0 would love They Might Be Giants. The whole thing should be a hoot.

For more info on the festival check out this: http://www.appelfarm.org/festival/welcome/index.html.

Go synchronize your calendars! I’ll see you there. It will be nice to hear the music again.

Sunday, April 06, 2008

Charlton Heston


He was 84 and he had Alzheimer’s disease. Read the details here: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080406/ap_on_en_mo/obit_heston

Please see IMDb’s page: http://imdb.com/name/nm0000032/ and scroll down the list of work that Heston left behind.

One might call it epic.

His body of work speaks for itself so I’m not going to say much more, save that my thoughts and prayers are with his friends and family at this time. Instead I leave you with this prepared statement that Heston made back in August of 1992.

"My Dear Friends, Colleagues and Fans: My physicians have recently told me I may have a neurological disorder whose symptoms are consistent with Alzheimer's disease. So ... I wanted to prepare a few words for you now, because when the time comes, I may not be able to. I've lived my whole life on the stage and screen before you. I've found purpose and meaning in your response. For an actor there's no greater loss than the loss of his audience. I can part the Red Sea, but I can't part with you, which is why I won't exclude you from this stage in my life. For now, I'm not changing anything. I'll insist on work when I can; the doctors will insist on rest when I must. If you see a little less spring in my step, if your name fails to leap to my lips, you'll know why. And if I tell you a funny story for the second time, please laugh anyway. I'm neither giving up nor giving in. I believe I'm still the fighter that Dr. King and JFK and Ronald Reagan knew, but it's a fight I must someday call a draw. I must reconcile courage and surrender in equal measure. Please feel no sympathy for me. I don't. I just may be a little less accessible to you, despite my wishes. I also want you to know that I'm grateful beyond measure. My life has been blessed with good fortune. I'm grateful that I was born in America, that cradle of freedom and opportunity, where a kid from the Michigan Northwoods can work hard and make something of his life. I'm grateful for the gift of the greatest words ever written, that let me share with you the infinite scope of the human experience. As an actor, I'm thankful that I've lived not one life, but many. Above all, I'm proud of my family ... my wife Lydia, the queen of my heart, my children, Fraser and Holly, and my beloved grandchildren, Jack, Ridley and Charlie. They're my biggest fans, my toughest critics and my proudest achievement. Through them, I can touch immortality. Finally, I'm confident about the future of America. I believe in you. I know that the future of our country, our culture and our children is in good hands. I know you will continue to meet adversity with strength and resilience, as our ancestors did, and come through with flying colors - the ones on Old Glory. William Shakespeare, at the end of his career, wrote his farewell through the words of Prospero, in "The Tempest". It ends like this: 'Be cheerful, sir. Our revels now are ended. These our actors, as I foretold you, were all spirits and are melted into air, into thin air: And, like the baseless fabric of this vision, the cloud-capp'd towers, the gorgeous palaces, the solemn temples, the great globe itself, yea all which it inherit, shall dissolve and, like this insubstantial pageant faded, leave not a rack behind. We are such stuff as dreams are made on, and our little life is rounded with a sleep.' Thank you, and God bless you, everyone." (9 August 2002)

Friday, April 04, 2008

The Garden State Film Festival


This weekend – if you’re around the Asbury Park area of New Jersey and are a fan of film the place you want to be is The Garden State Film Festival. Check it: http://www.gsff.org/. Among other attractions the Trailer for “Sorrow Hill” is on the schedule to premier at the festival (Saturday night at 9:00) here’s a link to Ron’s site for the details: http://grindhouse-pictures.com/grindblog/?p=53. Ron will be blogging and talking about his experiences from the festival tonight at 12:00 when he calls into the radio show: http://www.grindhouse-radio.com/.

The Garden State Film Festival has a little something for everyone. There’s something called “The Legends Behind the Comic Books” which is a documentary followed by a panel discussion with the filmmakers and Joe Kubert & Deny O’Neil (famous comic book guys). I’d love to check this out. There’s a film called, “Goodwill: The Flight of Emilio Carranza” which chronicles the life of the Mexican pilot who lost his life in a crash in the Pine Barrens. There are also panel discussions such as “Writers on Writing” and “Getting In Front of the Camera”. It’ll be a hoot.

It’s supposed to rain so a film festival is not a bad way to spend a Saturday.

See you at the movies.

Thursday, April 03, 2008

Script Frenzy 2008 – It’s ON Now!

Gentle Reader, Script Frenzy 2008 is underway and Bad Wolf (Chick 1.0) and yours truly are up and running. For all the gory details of what Script Frenzy is check this out: http://evilchickenscratch.blogspot.com/2008/03/script-frenzy-2008.html or just click the link to the left under “Evil Chicken’s Favorite Places”.

So what are we doing? Our genre is Sci-Fi/Fantasy. Our script type is Screenplay. Our title is, “Tales of the Astounding – Volume One”. If we were pitching it we would say that it would be “Twilight Zone – the Movie” meets “Creepshow”. We are only three days into it but the process has been too much fun. We are having a blast and, I gotta be honest with ya, writing with my daughter has been an absolute joy.

For those of you out there who write you know the sensation of being in “The Zone”. That place where you are fleshing out characterization of the people in the worlds that you are seeing, listening to their voices, walking in their shoes; basically documenting all that your are told – all that you observe. Beware to any and all who knock on the writer’s door when they are in The Zone.

We are in The Zone and that is a wonderful place to be.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Tabern Rock FOUND


This is a blog about 20 years in the making. It involves a possibly ancient artifact that has sat along the Manumuskin River as the centuries marched stoically by. There have been expeditions and adventures and many old timers and local legends were interviewed for the tale you are about to read. I have been seeking this object for twenty years and on 3/24/08, with my family (at a Geocache of all places) I believe it has been found.

Let’s go back. Twenty years ago I was in the employment of one of the nicest, kindest Mad Scientists you could hope to meet, one Mr. Champion Cox. I assembled control panels, I read blueprints, drilled holes, placing chip sets & buttons and such and wired everything back together so that, eventually, there was a working piece of equipment that could be utilized for industry. The time I spent with Mr. Cox was irreplaceable. He came into my life when I was in need of such a figure; he was (and is) an amazing sort of man, incredibly intelligent and very encouraging to a barely collegiate Evil Chicken. One of the things we did in between switching between listening to WMMR (me) and the local country station (him) was talk. We talked about everything; psychology (my chosen major @ the time), history, writing, books, music, movies, women, business, publishing magazines, string theory, local legends, sailing & sail boats, and making movies; we never ran out of topics; he was just that sort of man.

“So, have you ever heard of dolmens?” He asked me one day. I was screwing an actuator arm into a sheet of 1/8th thick metal.

“A what?” I answered.

“A dolmen – it’s a Breton word that means stone table.”

“Stone table?” I asked. “What do you mean?”

Mr. Cox then went on to tell me that dolmens were rock structures erected by Celtic explorers and that they pepper the New England and Eastern seaboard. He told me about a book by Barry Fell called, “America B.C.” (http://www.amazon.com/America-B-C-Ancient-Settlers-World/dp/0671679740/ref=pd_sim_b_img_3) and how it may have been more than possible for other civilizations and explorers to journey to the Americas.

“You’re kidding me.” I said.

“We have this assumption that early men were a group of idiots.” He said. “I don’t buy it. Think about it – the Phoenicians were sailors; they knew that the world was round – all they had to do was look to the stars.” He would know; he had told me about his tales of waking up while sleeping on the deck of his sailboat with ice caked onto his beard and facing full-blown headwinds with passengers who thought sailing was for wimps. They thought differently once they were back on dry land.

“So what do these dolmens look like?”

“They look like big rocks on legs – which are called ‘peg stones’.” He said. “The difference is that there is Celtic writing on the south west corner of the stone.”

“Southwest corner?”

“Yes. It was their way of identifying things.”

Mr. Cox was never prone to lackadaisical pandering. He was not kidding me. He went on to tell me stories of such a rock that existed nearby. A rock that was old – so old in fact that William Penn used the rock as marker when he was surveying the South Jersey area. He said that the rock itself had a flat top to it and rested alongside the Manumuskin River. “It could be a Dolmen.”

“How would they transport a rock like that?” I asked.

“The topography of the river was different a thousand years ago; but as a marker and a calendar it only makes sense. You float your Dolmen down stream, find an appropriate position with the sun – perhaps on a rise or hill top, and set the marker.”

“So where would it be?”

“Follow the Manumuskin. You’ll find it there on a bluff.”

How about that?

I took this information to my immediate group of reprobates that I called (and still for that matter call) my friends. We have been acquaintances for years and have shared many an odd adventure together – this seemed as good a reason as any to wander into the woods.

One such gentleman who will for our intents and purposes be called, “Dirty Bird” and I paid a visit to one of the only local places that, at the time, had quadrangle topographical maps – the Red Lion Gas Station. There was a colorful old man who questioned us as to why we wanted such a map. We spilled the beans.

“A Rock in the woods.” He said. “You two are looking for a rock in the woods.” The silence between us was palpable. Yeah, it was odd. There we were two college kids looking for some crazy stone in the pines of South Jersey.

“Tabern Rock!” he exclaimed. “You’re looking for Tabern Rock.”

“What?” we asked, “Really?”

“Some call it Table Rock ‘cause it’s flat on top. Willie Penn used it as a marker when he surveyed the area.” This gentleman was now the second person who spoke of William Penn surveying the area and using the stone as a marker. Was this a coincidence and how could you possibly know if it was? We bought our Topo-map and made plans for an expedition off of Union Road in Millville, NJ. We enlisted the expertise of one “Big Nasty Brain”, one “Eagle Fan” and one who does not have a code name – let’s just call him, “Steve”.

Yeah, Steve works.

One Saturday we started our expedition off of Union Road. We searched for hours but to no avail. We pushed on towards any place that may be close to the Manumuskin or support the elevation of a bluff for a Dolmen. No luck. We searched and searched; we were tired and FULL of ticks. Of our expedition I recall all of us tuckered out, tired and stripped to our underwear by the roadside picking ticks off of places that just shouldn’t have ticks on them. The rock was nowhere in sight.

I knew it was there – it had to be.

Mr. Cox and I made an expedition too. We jumped through local property owner’s hoops but to no avail. We even had shovels in hand just in case we had to dig in one of the corners to confirm that there was Celtic writing on the Southwest corner. We were close – each of us knew it. Someone told us about a “Table Rock” that used to be a partying spot for local kids. This piqued our interest but after talking with the landowners we knew that it was not as credible as we had hoped. I was beginning to think that someone had stumbled across it and smashed it just because it was there. I had thoughts of someone leading us to a pile of rubble, pointing and saying, “There it is.”

Time moved on as time does. Mr. Cox retired to South Carolina with his family, his sailboat and his writing but the possibility that something old, something ancient still existed in the woods of South Jersey intrigued me. Hey, who could blame me? The question continued to come up at the longest running poker game in South Jersey (which includes each member of the fruitless expedition to the woods off of Union Road).

“Remember that rock we were looking for?” I would hear from time to time.

Yes. I remember.

Then the boys from Weird N.J. published this story; http://www.weirdnj.com/stories/_ancient03.asp and it fired my imagination. THAT is a dolmen and I knew in the back of my twisted little mind that there was another similar rock formation that stood on the banks of the Manumuskin right here in South Jersey. I was sure that it was there but it was hidden – forgotten by time.

Enter the world of Geocaching.

“What’s that - geocaching?” you may ask. I direct you, therefore, Gentle Reader to “Evil Chicken’s Favorite Spots” located just to the left. Long story short, click it – you won’t be disappointed.

A Geocacher by the name of “P-Pop” (it’s a handle, a pseudonym – you know, like ‘Evil Chicken’) posted a cache back in January of this year that leads directly to Tabern Rock. We, the EC-5 (my family) have been casually cruising towards our 900th find. It ‘s not about the numbers for us it’s truly about the journey but when Mother Hen began reading the cache description from her PDA I began to get chills. Here is the link to P-Pop’s page: http://www.geocaching.com/seek/cache_details.aspx?guid=7fb87449-1387-4026-8a4d-403d9f919b8c.

This was it. I knew it. It was even in the same quadrangle that Mr. Cox, Dirty Bird and I narrowed it down to. The stone was about to be found, all that stood in our way was a 0.8 hike to ground zero; no big.

So is it there? Is it as ancient as you thought it was? Does the thing even exist after all these years?

Yes, no, and yes.

It is there. P-Pop is right. Yes – it is there!

Tabern Rock exists. It is not the ancient marker placed by Celts as Mr. Cox and I initially suspected it to be; instead, I believe, a missionary placed it there. Instead of a flat rock on ‘peg stones’ there is a solitary stone standing with a flat stone lying adjacent to the monolith. If I were a betting man (which for the record, I am) I’d say that this other stone lying nearby the monolith was actually the “podium” where the Reverend John Brainerd preached the gospel to the Lenape Indians. The podium was flat – flat like a table. This was the area where Pastor John Brainerd preached. This was the Tabernacle in the woods – dare I say Tabernacle Rock from which he preached. This Tabern Rock is the site where my mind has wandered to over the past twenty years; the site that Mr. Cox and the crusty guy from the Red Lion Gas Station had theorized so long ago.

Tabern Rock is found.

As a side note, Mother Hen saw it first. “There’s your rock.” She said. She was wrapped up in black thorns at the time that constricted her every move. She was very excited that I was so excited. Twenty years – I kid you not. I will be getting in contact with Mr. Cox to relay the news, as well as the other gentlemen who have shared this little corner of insanity with me over the span of the fullness of time.

Once we got home Mother Hen partook in the voodoo that she do so well. Here are some great sites that reference the area, the Lenape and honorable Reverend John Brainerd; http://www.usgennet.org/usa/nj/state/Lenape.htm,
http://www.usgennet.org/usa/nj/state/Brainerd.htm, And... http://www.berlinonline.com/berlin_cemetery.htm

Tabern Rock is FOUND and thanks to Mother Hen’s research it has been standing there by the Manumuskin for the last 261 years (give or take).

Thank you P-Pop; thank you. You’ve brought closure to a twenty-year old mystery in my life.

Thanks.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

The Wolf-Bane is Blooming


I use to love watching Dr. Shock on channel 17 and Creature Double Feature on channel 48 on Saturday afternoons with my Dad. It was pure abandon. We would watch the Universal monsters (anything with Borris or Bela) parade by followed by the Hammer Films (anything with Christopher Lee or Peter Crushing). An occasional Godzilla or Kong would slip into the mix from time to time but one of our favorites to watch on Saturday afternoons was always “The Wolf Man” (1941) staring Lon Chaney Jr.

Fast forward to 2009 (yes I know we are a little ahead of ourselves). Low and behold Benicio Del Toro is now the bitten man with a curse. Check out this Entertainment Weekly article: http://www.ew.com/ew/article/0,,20185191,00.html. There’s a great interview with Rick Baker who won the academy award for the makeup effects from “An American Werewolf in London”. Well, Mr. Baker is most certainly still in the game.

I just hope they still have that Gypsy woman whisper that folk tale, “…for even a man who is pure of heart and says his prayers by night may become a wolf when the wolf-bane blooms and the moon is full and bright.”

I’m so there opening night.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Arthur C. Clarke Has Passed


http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080319/ap_en_ce/obit_clarke_17.

One of the greats has moved on. “The Sentinel” is a short story just about 8 pages long. A young filmmaker by the name of Stanley Kubrick gets a hold of it and makes “2001 – A Space Odyssey” and revolutionizes the way people see the world and the future.

He was prolific as a writer but my personal favorites have to come back to the stories that include the Hal 9000, David Bowman, Heywood Floyd and David Poole – anything with a monolith. These works include; “2001 – A Space Odyssey”, “2010 – Odyssey Two”, “2061: Odyssey Three” and “3001 – The Final Odyssey”. All were great reads and all hold a special place on my bookshelf.

Clarke once said, "Sometimes I think we're alone in the universe, and sometimes I think we're not. In either case the idea is quite staggering."

One of the greats has phased into that universe and I can only wish him well.

Screenplay by Bad Wolf & Evil Chicken


Chick 1.0 (henceforth known as Bad Wolf) and yours truly are going to be collaborating on Script Frenzy 2008. We are going to be writing a science fiction / fantasy anthology based screenplay. Think of it as “Creepshow” meets “Twilight Zone – the Movie”. It is yet untitled but that will be rectified soon enough.

As her father and as her coconspirator on this project, I can’t wait.

There’s room for more in the lifeboat or the Crazy Train depending on your perspective. Click on over to, http://www.scriptfrenzy.org/. It’s gonna be fun. I’ve had the joy and pleasure of writing with some very creative, imaginative and brilliant people; I’m glad that this tradition is alive and well for this latest Script Frenzy writing endeavor.

Same crazy stuff now with TWICE the destructive power!

Life is good.

Monday, March 17, 2008

Bradbury Challenge Revisited


You may or may not know, Gentle Reader, that I have had this personal challenge to write 52 short stories in a year’s time. I called this project “The Bradbury Challenge” (see: http://evilchickenscratch.blogspot.com/2006/09/bradbury-challenge.html for details).

I lamented the fact that I had not completed said project here: http://evilchickenscratch.blogspot.com/2007/08/time-is-fire.html; where I morosely recounted the fact that I am prone to be captivated by bright and shinny objects and that the project simply was not done.

Hmm…

I was speaking with my wife, something I do from time to time, and she asked me if I included the puppet scripts that I adapt for the Children’s Ministry at our church, Calvary Chapel of Vineland.

“…Uh, no.” was my reply. I had never considered these adaptations of Bible stories as part of “The Bradbury Challenge.” I don’t exactly know why. I believe that it has something to do with the Puppet Ministry as being a part of something much greater than anything yours truly could ever hope to accomplish. The Puppet Ministry is not and never has been about “me” – nor should it be. It’s about planting seeds. It’s about tending to my little corner of the vineyard; and I’m perfectly happy with that.

“So how many scripts have you done?” Mother Hen asked.

“I don’t know, about 60.” I said.

“So you really did meet the Bradbury Challenge.”

…Huh?

Howzaboutdat? Man I love that woman.

I put this one out to you, Gentle Reader, not to pat myself on the back but to underline the idea that pretty cool things can happen when we are working for something outside of the realm of ourselves. If I were to include the Puppet Scripts with short stories I’d have about 70 to 75 short stories completed within the span of 52 weeks.

I’d like to think that Ray Bradbury would be proud but even more so, I’d like to think that Jesus Christ has gained the glory.

See ya next time.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon


Gentle Reader you know the game. Everything in the world of cinema is only separated by Six Degrees from Kevin Bacon.

No really…

Ok, follow me on this one… Pax Ramono (http://paxromano.blogspot.com/) introduced me, Evil Chicken (http://evilchickenscratch.blogspot.com/) to the blogging delights of Final Girl (http://finalgirl.blogspot.com/) whom I introduced to Ron Diprimio (http://www.grindhouse-pictures.com/) who is a very busy guy these days with making trailers & films and hosting a brand new radio show about horror movies on Friday nights at midnight on Crusin’ 92.1, WVLT which can be listened to via the wonderful world wide web here http://wvlt.com/home/ from the comfort and glow of one’s own computer monitor around the globe; well each one of us has seen a film that had Kevin Bacon in the cast.

I love this game. It sure is a small world after all – a small world wrapped in BACON!

So check out Final Girl on Ron’s radio show on Friday night (http://grindhouse-pictures.com/grindblog/?p=44).

It’ll be a hoot.