Friday, April 05, 2013



Your liver values are good
So is your blood pressure
Cholesterol too – 171
Said the doctor


Your blood sugar puts you
In the range of having diabetes
Even though your cholesterol is good
It’s now bad
You are now 2X more likely to
Have a heart attack
Said the doctor


You can control this
If you lose weight
With the right diet you may
Be able to get off the
Medication that I’m about
To put you on
Said the doctor

You could consider a gastric bypass
Or lap-band surgery to lose the weight
Does diabetes run in your family?
Asked the doctor

Yes, it runs in the family
I said
Yes, I have helped this process along
I said
And then I grew silent
Lost in my thoughts

It’s not the worst diagnosis
Said the doctor
Believing me stunned by
This turn of events

Oh yes, there are much worse
Diagnoses than this
I said
I was thinking about Wilfred Brimley

Wilfred Brimley?

Yeah, the actor with the
Big beefy moustache
He did a series of commercials
For some medication company
He’s always talking about
‘The Dia-BEETUS’, which
I said in my best impersonation

The doctor laughed
So did I
He & his latest patient with

Don’t do that again
Said the doctor   

No comments: