Wednesday, August 02, 2006


The good people from Aint’ It Cool News ( recently sponsored a contest to win one of four “Brisco County Jr.” DVD packages. Contestants had to write a story where members of the AICN staff were mingling with the characters form the show. Well this got my attention and my geek blood pulsing. I decided to use Quint, an AICN staff member and Dixie Cousins, Brisco’s love interest on the show. Quint usually does interviews of actors or directors on how they approach what they do in the film industry. He then follows up his interviews by asking the individual what their favorite dirty joke is; it’s a disarming and challenging technique that reveals subtleties the interviewee and lets the reader decide it they have a sense of humor or not. Anyway, I transplanted a “Quint” interview back to Brisco County Jr.’s time. Corny? Yep. Oh well, so was the TV show – which I loved BTW. Gentle reader, I post it here for your potential enjoyment – and to let you know what I’ve been up to recently. Enough yapping; here’s the goods…


Ahoy Squirts! Quint here with all the coverage of he Concert Saloon and Variety Hall circuit. I recently had a chance to sit down and speak with Ms. DIXIE COUSINS. She was just coming off stage from her third performance of the evening at the “Howling Cat Saloon” in San Francisco. Ms. Cousins is a professional and consistently delivers one wonderful performance after another – night after night. She is an engaging performer and was kind enough to answer some of my questions. So pull up a bottle of sarsaparilla, kick back and enjoy.

“Ms. Cousins? Ms. Dixie Cousins?”


Hi, I’m with ‘Ain’t It Cool News’ out of Austin Texas.”

“Harry’s rag! Oh, I love you guys!” Her face really lights up at this news. “And which one are you? Wait, let me guess.” She looks me up and down. “Glasses and a sharks tooth hanging around your neck – you’re Quint aren’t you?”


“Guilty. I suppose you read us?”

“Oh yes. You guys are great.”

“I know that you don’t have too much time between shows but would it be alright to ask you some questions for our readers?”

“I’m all yours, Mr. Quint. Well, at least for the next five minutes.”

She has a smile that lights up both on and off stage. I look down behind the curtain as the next act sets up. There is an odd looking man in a wide brimmed hat holding a green apple heading our way. Not knowing how much time I’ll have with Ms. Cousins, I start asking questions.

“So what’s your favorite number?”

“42.” She said.


“Musical number.”

“There’s an easy one. It’s a little ditty called, ‘File My Claim.’ I like it because it’s so flexible – you can sing it anywhere for almost any audience.

“That is a great number – a little spicy, but wonderful.”

“Mr. Quint, I’m surprised at you. Here I thought that you liked things a little spicy.”

Before I can answer she starts to giggle, shattering any problems that I may have had with my ego. The guy with the apple joins us.

“Mr. Quint, allow me to introduce a friend of mine; this is Brisco County Jr.”

I’m taken back with the name. After all, Brisco County Sr. was one of the finest lawmen that the western territories have ever seen. This man is the son of a legend.

“I didn’t know that Brisco County had a son.” I’m blurting but I can’t help myself.

“Neither did he.” He said turning his attention to Ms. Cousins. He asked her something about whether or not she had seen Comet recently. She told him that she hadn’t. He nodded at me and walked off seeking whatever ‘Comet’ was.

“I apologize Ms. Cousins. I didn’t mean to offend him.”

“Him! It’ll take a lot more than something like that to offend him, believe me.”

“What is ‘Comet’?” I ask. I had to know – in for a penny, in for a pound.

“It’s his horse.” She said. “They have a very good relationship.”

She must have seen the look on my face. It’s not every day that you hear of the bonds between a man and his horse.

“He understands the neighing.” She said not once breaking her tone. “Did you have anything else that you wanted to ask me?”

“Yes, of course. What are your feelings toward speculations that Vaudeville will replace the Variety Circuit?”

“Honey, there will always be a place where a man can get a drink and be entertained by singing and dancing. Don’t get me wrong – it’s a good idea to have people come out and be entertained but, I ask you, who is going to go someplace where they don’t serve alcohol? Not my clientele, Mr. Quint."

As if on cue a voice cuts into our conversation warning us that she has only one minute until curtain. I can hear the band working up the first few bars of ‘File My Claim.” The tones of it have a French quality to them. Ms. Cousins reads the question on my face before I get a chance to ask it.

“As I said, it is a flexible song. Depending on the room I could be singing it as ‘Ms. Cousins from Paris France or Ms. Cousins from Tequila Mexico – any way the band plays it that song fits the room. That’s the sign of a timeless piece of music, Mr. Quint. I love that sound.”

I thank her for her time and she collects herself, preparing to go out on stage for the fourth show of the evening. Just before she rushes off I remember an important question.

“Ms. Cousins! Before I forget, what is your favorite dirty joke?”

She breaks into a wide grin.

“Well, it’s funny you mention that. I just heard this…”

Her story is interrupted by the band’s rising volume. It’s time for her to go. She graces me with an apologetic look as she takes her place center stage for her fourth curtain of the evening. The curtain rises and her song begins anew.

So there it is Squirts, my interview with one of the finest talents of our time, Ms. Dixie Cousins. Next week I’ll be checking out what many are calling the future – Vaudeville! Until then keep yer eyes glued to Harry’s Rag!

– Quint

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