Sunday, January 01, 2012

Out With the Old, In With the New

According to my watch the time is now, the past is dead and gone.  Don’t try to shake it just nod your head, breathe in breathe out, move on.” – Jimmy Buffett

First and foremost, Happy New Year!  2011 left us last night at 11:59 PM.  2012 is a GO.  The time is NOW.  Congratulations, Gentle Reader, we are now living in the last year according to the Mayan calendar.  Not to worry, though, there’s just under a year left before it all comes to an end.  That being said there is much to look forward to before it all comes crashing down.  But before we explore the future let’s dig up a bit of the past and consider some lists!

2011 – here are some of the most bizarre stories of the past year.  Tread lightly, Gentle Reader, there are some things you simply cannot un-see.  You have been warned:

2011 – There was a lot going on and there just may have been some coolness that you may have missed.  I, therefore, gladly pass this blog from the right, honorable, Cyber Trout; friend, fellow traveler, and proud Über –Geek (NOTE Über has only one umlaut):  Thanks to this list I am going to be downloading a copy of, “The Buntline Special” via my Android Kindle App.  I already downloaded a copy of Paul Cicchini’s, “Godsmacked” – which was a blast and a half, I might add.  Now I’m beginning to lust after a Wampa Rug.    

2011 – It was not a good year for dictators.  Some heavy hitters made took their final bows this year.  Here is a list of “Famous People Who Died in 2011” – missing from the list are Osama Bin Laden and Cheetah from the Tarzan movies.  Even with these glaring omissions I thought I’d pass this along:

“But that was THEN.  What about 2012?” 

I thought you’d never ask.  Let’s talk movies.  Here is a list of what to expect in the coming year:  Feel free to click around at what you may find interesting; there is bound to be a sleeper or two in there somewhere.  That being said, here is the list of what yours truly, Evil Chicken, is looking forward to.  Will I see all of these in the theater?  No.  Will I rent ‘em on Blu-ray?  Yes.  That being said, here is what I’m looking forward to looking at in 2012:

1/20, “Red Tails”.  The Tuskegee Pilots meet George Lucas.  I hope they fare better than Han Solo did against Greedo. 

2/17, “Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance”.  I’m crossing my fingers on this one; but still, it’s Ghost Rider on the big screen.  I remember buying the first issue back in the seventies.  That makes me an Old Skool Geek, yo; and one who is interested in what’s new in the life of one Johnny Blaze. 

3/9, “John Carter”.  There is a doctoral thesis that could be written concerning Edgar Rice Burroughs’ Mars Books.  The story is monumental and was the basis for SO MANY science fiction books that came after.  My main concern here is James Cameron.  You see he made this little movie called, “Avatar” and it was EVERYTHING that Barsoom, Mars, and John Carter should be.  John Carter has a LOT to live up to.  I sincerely hope that Disney has brought their A-Game.  If they didn’t then they have squandered a golden opportunity to rewrite modern filmmaking and storytelling and THAT… that’s just sad.

3/9, “The Raven”.  Edgar Allen Poe trying to solve a mystery before his death in Baltimore?  John Cusack is Poe?  Yeah?  Sign me up.

4/13, “The Three Stooges”.  Three reasons why I will see this movie: Larry, Moe, & Curly Joe.  Further, Will Sasso is the LIVING ENBODIMENT of Curly.  I hope the Farley brothers don’t try to paint a mustache on the Mona Lisa with this.  The Three Stooges are hallowed ground and deserve all the respect they get; nyuck, nyuck, nyuck, indeed. 

4/13, “The Cabin in the Woods”.  This is a ‘new twist’ on a tried and true formula.  Some guy named Joss Weadon is producing.  I’m in.

5/4, “The Avengers”.  For me this is not just ‘opening night’, no, this is OPENING NIGHT in IMAX.  Final answer.  Marvel has had a wonderful slow build to this and with Joss Weadon at the helm I’m expecting my jaw to D R O P.

5/11, “Dark Shadows”.  A spooky soap opera from the sixties and the vampire, Barnabus Collins is being played by Johnny Depp?  Ok, I’m in.   

6/8, “Prometheus”.  This is Sir Ridley Scott’s prequel to his film, “Alien”.  Can you understand the GEEK magnitude of that sentence that I just typed?  If you do then I will see you at the theater opening night too.

6/15, “Jack the Giant Killer”.  Jack and the Beanstalk on the big screen will it be the Golden Goose or will it be a Fe, Fi, Fo, Flop – only time will tell.  BTW, remember you heard that last sentence here at Chicken Scratch first!  ; )

6/22, “Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter”.  At long last a historically accurate version of one of our greatest presidents.  It is a film whose time has come.  Sounds like a fun time at the movies.

6/22, “Brave”.  Simply put, I love Pixar.  This one is about a conquering redhead.  I plan to take my redheads and to conquer at the very least a large bucket of buttered popcorn.

7/3, “The Amazing Spider-Man”.  The more time goes on the more excited about this film I become.  It’s being shot in 3D and it will mark the first time that SONY makes you buy the 3D glasses for a 3D movie that they are already overcharging you for.  Word to the wise, Gentle Reader; save those 3D glasses now and smuggle them into Spidey or any other 3D movie that comes down the pike.  You have already paid for them and you will have already purchased a ticket.  Enough politics.  It’s Spider-Man!  I’m there.

7/20, “The Dark Knight Rises”.  I could gush about my theories but it would only be the sound and the fury ultimately signifying nothing.  I should say that this will be another OPENING NIGHT IMAX for yours truly.  I will say that I desperately want the cast to reunite in 10 years time to make, “The Dark Knight Returns”.  I’ve said it before about other times but 2012? – Oh yes, it is a GOOD time to be a GEEK.

9/21, “Dredd”.  Judge Dredd, that is.  He is Judge, jury, and executioner in Megacity One and this time out I’m hoping they got him right. 

11/9, “Skyfall”.  This will be Daniel Craig’s third effort as James Bond, the 00 agent with a license to kill.  Craig is the best Bond since Sean Connery.  Final answer.

11/21, “47 Ronin”.  Based on a true story from feudal Japan.  Keanu Reeves is one of the swordsmen, “Whoa, that’s sharp.”  May be something to see.

12/7, “Les Miserables”.  I never saw it on Broadway or in the traveling company version.  Plus this has Wolverine (Hugh Jackman) and Catwoman (Anne Hathaway) in the leads.  They’ve got the chops and the singing range to pull it off.  I’m gonna have to coax the girls to the theater but they will be glad that I did.

12/12, “World War Z”.  Based on the wonderful Max Brooks book of the same name, WWZ will be in theaters before the end of the Mayan calendar (12/21/12).  I have been reading that Brad Pitt’s company, “Plan B”, has been making some changes to the plot.  I hope that doesn’t blow up in our faces.  The simple fact is that the story was not broken so I don’t know if it needed to be fixed.  We shall see.  I live with Zombie Freaks so chances are I’m gonna see it on the big screen.

12/14, “The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey”.  Talk about gushing; the moment I heard the music in the trailer for, “The Hobbit” the goosebumps started.  Then the Dwarves started singing at Bagend in the Shire.  Then the Golem uttered the words, “My precious…”.  Peter Jackson, Sir, I love you.  I am so there and I hope to be seeing it with a group of like-minded Hobbits from my own neck of the Shire.  The only downside is that we have to wait until 2013 for Part II.  It is my hope that the Mayans are wrong ONLY for this reason.  …Well, maybe not only THAT reason, but you get the idea.

12/25, “Django Unchained”.  Quentin Tarantino has a Christmas present for fans of spaghetti westerns and it is Django Unchained.  Jamie Foxx is Django a former slave who has become a trained bounty hunter who goes to free his wife from the clutches of an evil plantation owner, Calvin Candie, played by Leonardo DiCaprio.  I am a fan of Mr. Tarantino and, in lieu of fireworks for next years New Years Eve; I just might stop at the multiplex instead. 

So there are my picks for 2012 at the movies.  I am not a huge TV guy but even I will be watching for the next half of season II of, “The Walking Dead”, as well as a visit from my favorite doctor, courtesy of BBC America, “Doctor Who”.  

Trivial stuff, really – yet, on the other hand, not so trivial after all.  Some say it is the orbit of molecules that holds the universe together.  Some say it is gravity.  The truth of the matter is the Word holds everything together.  Stories are the glue that the universe clings to.  Trivial?  Perhaps.  Anyway, where was I?  Oh yes… 

2012 – What of the shiny, new, and undiscovered future?  What is next for us both globally and locally?  Well, I can tell you this in no uncertain terms, I just don’t know.  My Magic Eight Ball’s little window has been scratched and fuzzy for years.  All I can say it that my prayer and hope for the future is that we are a blessing to others more than a curse, that laughter outweighs our tears ten fold, and that the Good Lord above holds you in the palm of His hand.  Yes, that sounds vaguely Irish in nature.  Come to think of it, “Vaguely Irish” would make a good name for a band.  Although I have made no New Years resolutions I just may see someone concerning Attention Deficit Disorder… unless I get distracted.

Happy New Year, Gentle Reader!  Let’s see what kind of trouble we can get into together!   


cybertrout said...

In response to one of those weird news articles, "I thought they smelled bad, on the outside!"

E. Chicken said...

: )

Honestly, how is it that this can go on for THREE YEARS?


E. Chicken said...

I forgot, "Cloud Atlas" that comes out in October. Six interconnecting stories that cross time with a great cast and three directors. It'll be cool.

Rum Girl said...

Love Poe and Cusak! Put that one at the top of my to do list! Thanks for the update!

E. Chicken said...

Rum Girl ~ Me Too! It ought to be awesome. Ya know, Poe's house is right over the bridge in Philly.


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