Requiem for the Blu-ray Dossier

It’s time to face facts.  Blu-ray discs are great but they have no future.  Yeah, that’s right, I said it – NO FUTURE.  I love to bask in the glow of 1080p as much as the next movie geek but the fact of the matter is the format’s days are numbered.  I use to write a column here on Chicken Scratch about with a two tiered rating system the first score was for the story and the second was for the quality of the Blu-ray itself.  As always, the story is what truly matters; the jaw dropping pop of crystal clear 1080p was simply icing on the cake.  Video may have killed the radio star but it was streaming content that has dealt the fatal blow to Blu-ray.  Just as Blockbuster killed the Ma & Pa video rental stores, video streaming gutted Blockbuster and there are options for streaming, Netflix, Hulu, cable, Amazon, heck – even Redbox, one of the only places left that you can rent a Blu-ray BTW, all have huge stakes in the streaming game.  Then there are all of the plug-ins for you HDTV to stream.  Companies like Apple, Google, Roku, Netgear, and even Tivo are all manufacturing High Def streaming hardware to make your Blu-ray collection obsolete.  

Hey, it happens.  It is part of the circle of life.  The writing is on the wall and not just for all those, “early innovators” out there; obsolescence approaches.  It’s event horizon dawns and change happens – both big and small; everything changes.  Solomon wrote in Ecclesiastes 3:1, “For everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven…”  He was right.  Granted he wasn’t specifically talking about Blu-ray discs but, on the other hand, “everything” does cover, well, everything.  You get the idea – there is an expiration date on all things.  Take for example any old thing.  Now this any old thing works just fine right up to the point that doesn’t anymore and it is replaced by something that does the same job, “better” and/or faster.  The, “new thing”. 

History is chocked full of examples of this axiom.  New cells are generated and old cells fade away.  The MP3 replaced the CD which replaced the cassette tape which replaced the 8-Track which replaced the record which replaced wax cylinders.  People got tired of walking so they started riding horses.  Seeing that this horse-riding thing was a pretty good idea people hooked them up to chariots and then to horse drawn buggies.  The advent of the automobile put the horses out to pasture then came the trains and the planes which will someday be replaced by matter transporters – it’s true!  I’ve seen it on Star Trek.  

 Hey, that’s progress. 

I’ll still do the occasional review but I simply don’t watch that many Blu-rays anymore to keep the column viable so, therefore, it is time to bid it farewell.  On the right side of this particular version of Chicken Scratch I use to have, “The Blu-ray Dossier – At a Glance”.  It’s still up there but it too will be going away.  I’ll repost it here for posterity…

Blu-Ray Dossier at a Glance. Ratings? Story first Blu-Ray quality second.

"Blade Runner - The Final Cut" 5/4

"Blazing Saddles" 4/2

"Bounty Hunter" 1.5 / 2

"Bridesmaids" 4 / 3

"Captain America - The First Avenger" 4/3

"Clash of the Titans (2010)" 2 / 3

"Cowboys and Aliens" 3.5 / 4

"Despicable Me" 3 / 4

"Diary of a Wimpy Kid" 3.5 / 2

"Evil Dead 2: 25th Anniversary Edition" 4 / 3.5

"Grown Ups" 3 / 3

"Hangover" 3.5 / 4

"John Carter" 4/3

"Kick Ass" 3 / 3

"Knight & Day" 2.5 / 3

"Resident Evil: Afterlife" 2.5 / 3

"Serenity" 4 / 4

"Sherlock Holmes - Game of Shadows" 3/3

"Star Wars - The Empire Strikes Back" 5/4

"Star Wars" 4.5/4

"The A-Team" 3 / 3

"The Frighteners" 4 / 4

"The Good, the Bad and the Weird" 4 / 4

"The Walking Dead: Season One" 5 / 4

"THOR" 3.8 / 4

Robin Hood (2010) 4 / 4

Superman / Batman – Apocalypse 3.5 / 3

The Untouchables – Special Collector’s Edition 3.8 / 4

“9”: 3.5 Stars / 4 Stars.

“Alice in Wonderland”: 4 Stars / 4 Stars.

“Batman/Superman, Public Enemies” Rating: 4 Stars / 4 Stars.

“Beetlejuice” 4 Stars / 3.5 Stars.

“Casino Royale” Rating: 5 Stars / 5 Stars.

“Diary of the Dead” 4 Stars / 3.5 Stars.

“District 9” 4.5 Stars / 4.5 Stars.

“Drag Me to Hell” Rating: 4 Stars / 3.5 Stars.

“G.I. Joe” 2.5 Stars / 3 Stars.

“Grindhouse – Death Proof”: 4 Stars / 4 Stars.

“Hellboy II – The Golden Army” 4 Stars / 4 Stars.

“Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull” Rating: 4 Stars / 4.5 Stars.

“Inglorious Basterds”: 5 Stars / 4.5 Stars.

“Kill Bill Volume II”: 4.5 Stars / 4 Stars.

“Kill Bill Volume I”: 4.5 Stars / 4 Stars.

“King Kong the Extended Edition” 4.5 Stars / 5 Stars.

“Labyrinth”: 3.5 Stars / 3 Stars.

“Land of the Lost” Rating: 3 Stars / 3.5 Stars.

“Monsters Vs. Aliens” 3 Stars / 4 Stars.

“Nightmare Before Christmas” Rating 4.5 Stars / 5 Stars.

“Poltergeist” 4.5 Stars / 4 Stars.

“Ponyo”: 4 Stars / 4 Stars.

“Pride and Prejudice (A&E): 5 Stars / 3.5 Stars.

“Quantum of Solace” Rating: 4 Stars / 4.5 Stars.

“Reign of Fire”: 1 Star / 2 Stars.

“Sherlock Holmes”: 3.5 Stars / 3.5 Stars.

“Sleepy Hollow” 4 Stars / 3 Stars.

“Star Trek” 4.5 Stars / 4.5 Stars

“Star Wars the Clone Wars”: 3.5 Stars / 4 Stars.

“The Dark Knight” Rating: 5 Stars / 4.5 Stars.

“The Godfather Parts I & II” 5 Stars / 3.5 Stars.

“The Hangover”: 4 Stars / 4 Stars.

“The Hurt Locker”: 5 Stars / 4.5 Stars.

“The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus”: 4 Stars / 4 Stars.

“The Prestige” Rating: 4.5 Stars / 4 Stars.

“The Road Warrior”: 4.5 Stars / 3.5 Stars.

“The Road”: 4 Stars /3.5 Stars.

“The Shining”: 5 Stars / 4.5 Stars.

“The Wizard of Oz”: 5 Stars / 4 Stars.

“The Wolfman”: 1 Star / 2 Stars.

“Transformers – Rise of the Fallen” Rating: 2 Stars / 4 Stars.

“Twilight New Moon”: 2 Stars / 3 Stars.

“Up” 5 Stars / 5 Stars.

“Where the Wild Things Are”: 3 Stars / 3.5 Stars.

“Yojimbo”: 4.5 Stars / 4 Stars.

“Zombieland”: 4.5 Stars / 4 Stars.

Looking back at some of these ratings I am wondering where my head was (I’m looking at YOU, 3 stars for story, “Land of the Lost”) and then there were others I probably should have rated higher such as, “Labyrinth” (I dissed the power of the babe and only gave it a 3.5).  Other than those there are only a few more shaky ones and, for the most part, I stand by my ratings.

I may be pulling the plug on the Blu-ray Dossier but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to keep reviewing film – hey, I’m a movie geek with a fully functioning internet connection; therefore, I am duty bound to throw in my two cents when it comes to the goings on at the local multiplex.

In memory of my friend and longtime column, the Blu-ray Dossier – thank you for the memories.  “Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.” – Dr. Seuss

Now then, what’s on Netflix?

 

Son of the Blu-ray Dossier

There has been a lot of talk about piracy as of late with SOPA & PIPA.  I don’t stream movies or check into the pirated versions of films still in the theater for the simple reason that I absolutely love the clear, crisp picture and sound reproduction that Blu-Ray provides.  When delivered in a proper 1080p format with surround sound a lover of film is in for a treat.  The format, while stunning and wonderful is woefully underutilized in that motion picture companies and film studios could pack some great things into their releases but most of the time they don’t so that they can reap the most return on their dollar from the public which starts with the theatrical release and moves to the DVD / Blu-Ray release, the steaming release (cable & Netflix), the cable television release and the hotel & airplane versions of the film.  Hey, that’s showbiz.  Still it is a pet peeve of mine that some movies hardly get a Blu-Ray release worthy of the format. 

Speaking of pet peeves I’ve got two more things that I find highly annoying.  First, when companies disable the ‘fast forward’ through the trailers.  Look, I love a good trailer as much as the next movie-geek but one of the advantages to seeing a movie at home is to be able to plow through any unwanted commercials.  Many companies these days are opting to take that ability away from the consumer – the person who rented or bought their product.  Annoying?  Yes, very much so.  Secondly, and I sincerely hope this is not a new trend, the disabling special features on Blu-Ray rentals.  I recently rented, “Cowboys and Aliens” (reviewed below) and after watching the movie I scrolled to the ‘Special Features’ section of the menu where I got a message that told me that if I wanted to see the special features then I should go and buy the special edition Blu-ray package and not be a shmuck and just rent this movie.  All right, I made up the part about the “shmuck” thing but still the intent is apparent.  Really?  You want to restrict this content because I rented your movie instead of buying it?  There is precious little that would make me desire to purchase ANY Blu-ray set if the very company who produced it pulls the rug out from under the viewer.  You see you’ve restricted me thus far why on earth would I enable you to continue to do so?  This should be filed in the “Dumb Idea” drawer and the motion picture industry would be wise to steer far and away from such practice in the future.  Just how long do you think you can treat the public like pirates before they take you at your accusing word and start acting like them?

I don’t know.  I’m not a pirate.  I am; however, a lover of the Blu-ray format and of film so, without further ado here is the latest edition of The Blu-ray Dossier!  I rate film on a two tier scale; first for story and secondly for the Jaw-Dropping Blu-ray effect.  5 is good, 1 not so much.  Here’s what I’ve been watching…

THOR – 3.8 / 4.  This past summer THOR and Captain America paved the way for this summer’s Avengers movie.  I am a Marvel Zombie so it was a pretty good summer for yours truly.  THOR delivered.  I don’t exactly remember where I read it but I heard it said that the wonderful thing about THOR is that none of the actors were told that they were in a “comic book movie”.  The performances are wonderful.  Epic Norse god, superhero stuff aplenty.  The Blu-ray is nice with the Destroyer and with the World Tree at the end.  If you are not familiar with the Destroyer or the World Tree then you should probably rent THOR before the Avengers hits. 

Evil Dead 2 – 25^th Anniversary Edition – 4 / 3.5.  I am a HUGE fan of Sam Rami’s Evil Dead series.  Evil Dead 2 is unique in that it is a remake and a sequel all in one movie.  There are some horror staples here but there is also something almost unheard of – the horror movie hero.  Bruce Campbell makes this horror / comedy movie his own.  I just can’t believe it’s been 25 years since I first was introduced to Ash and the rest of the Deadites in a darkened movie theater in Pleasantville, New Jersey.  I’m really looking forward to the special edition Blu-ray release of “Army of Darkness” the sequel to Evil Dead 2.  If you are a fan than you know the simple joys of a good ‘Boomstick’.

Hangover – 3.5 / 4.  Not for those who are easily offended.  This is a ‘men behaving badly’ movie that fires on all cylinders.  You will laugh and when you begin to realize how WRONG this movie is you will laugh harder.  There are some wonderful, crisp, Blu-ray moments surrounding the city that is Las Vegas.  The disc is full of extras; which is a refreshing change of pace.  It made bank at the box office so I suppose it was a good idea for the studio to stack the deck.  You will laugh – you’ll cringe too, but you will laugh.

Bridesmaids – 4 / 3.  Not for those who are easily offended.  This is a ‘women behaving badly’ movie that fires on all cylinders.  Ready for more déjà vu?  You will laugh and when you begin to realize how WRONG this movie is you will laugh harder.  Bridesmaids is a movie that is for both women and men.  Do not be bamboozled into thinking otherwise.  The wonderful surprise about this film is the amount of heart that it brings to the table.  You really feel for the woman that Kristen Wiig portrays.  It is tragic to watch her character do the things she does.  You know what they say about tragedy?  Yeah, ‘they’ are right.

Serenity – 4 / 4.  I came to the whole “Firefly” party late.  Joss Whedon and company had lightning in a bottle and were just getting their running shoes tightened when FOX pulled the curtain on the show.  Enter, “Serenity”, the movie.  Not to give anything away but Whedon took that old writing quote, “Kill your darlings” to heart on this one.  The Verse is a dangerous place and Captain Reynolds and his more than motley crew are wonderful to watch.  I can only hope that the future smiles on this property once again.  Very shiny.

The Frighteners – 4 / 4.  This is a fun movie from the man who would go on to sweep the Oscars a few years later.  “The Frighteners” was the film that Peter Jackson made just before, “The Lord of the Rings – the Fellowship of the Ring”.  The storytelling is taught and Michael J. Fox really delivers as a man who can communicate with the dead.  I do not know why this film didn’t launch as it should have.  Do yourself a favor and check it out.  You’ll have a good time at the movies.  Some of the shots of New Zealand are worth the Blu-ray look-see.

The Walking Dead: Season One – 5 / 4.  Hands down, Frank Darabont’s, “The Walking Dead” is the best thing on television.  It is based on the graphic novel series of the same name.  The story is riveting.  It puts a human face onto the zombie apocalypse.  You will care for these characters.  The storytelling is fierce and the acting is second to none.  There are only six episodes in the first season.  After the first 5 minutes the hook is set and you will have to know what happens next.  Simply amazing.

Cowboys and Aliens – 3.5 / 4.  John Favreau took a lot of grief for this film but I gotta tell ya, I enjoyed it for what it was.  He got James Bond and Indiana Jones to work for him in a western that happens to involve aliens.  Daniel Craig and Harrison Ford chew up the screen together.  It’s a shame that this didn’t perform at the box office because it works.  I like movies to throw me a curve or to mix things up ~ this does so in spades.  Rent it.  You’ll like it.  You won’t be able to see any of the special features that would endure the film to an audience that it has not truly discovered yet but you’ll see the movie.  I hope such decisions don’t alienate potential cult-movie status fans.  That would be a shame.  Oh well, rent it.  It was fun storytelling and I had a good time.  Perhaps you will too.

Keep on, keepin’ on my fellow internet users and Blu-ray fans.  These are interesting times, Gentle Reader.  I’ll see you in line at the Redbox machine. 

Blockbuster, Ramblings and the Blu-Ray Dossier

This particular Blu-Ray Dossier marks a milestone for this ole article here at Chicken Scratch. You see, Gentle Reader, in order to write about movies on Blu-ray one must either purchase them or rent them. The lion’s share of the movies on Blu-ray here that I’ve reviewed I have rented from Blockbuster; the corporate Juggernaut that rolled over all of the “ma & pa” video rental places during the last decade and made them vanish into the sepia images of memory. The corporation grew and grew and blotted out the sun from the other small businesses that peddled the film industries wares. They’re all extinct now. They fell victim to the future; they could not compete with the idea that one store could have so many copies of the movies that people wanted to see. Our hunger for instant gratification only fueled “ma & pa’s” demise. Why should we wait to see the movie we want to see when we can just go to Blockbuster and they’ll have a copy? Hey, I want to “go home happy”.

Where was I? …Oh yes, this blog marks the end of my / our Blockbuster exclusivity. Tonight we canceled our Blockbuster plan.

During the last three years we have rented 225 movies on DVD & Blu-ray; that’s on average 75 movies a year. We had the deal where you could receive up to three movies in the mail, swap ‘em at the local Blockbuster and get two coupons for ‘free’ movies a month. All this brought our total to $21.19 a month. Now let’s see here… that comes out to a total of $762.84 that we have spent to date – that’s about $3.39 per movie. Not too shabby in the long run and we have been running with them a long while. We stayed with Blockbuster not only because they were the only game in town (‘in town’ not via Netflix or cable) but because of a handful of true & dedicated movie fans who used to work there. These guys were Great – with a capitol G. They were not just ‘managers’ they were Movie Geeks and something that Blockbuster truly needed; a human face that actually gave two shakes of a Raisinets Box about film. They cared about movies and story and they bent over backwards for their customers and for their staff. These gentlemen are no longer there and now that the human factor is gone, so am I.

Not to sound too melodramatic but now it is Blockbuster’s turn on the endangered list. You see our hunger for instant gratification is fueling Blockbuster’s demise; and make no mistake; ‘demise’ is the right word. Why should we waste all that time to go to a brick and mortar Blockbuster when we can ‘rent’ a movie cheaper from Comcast or Netflix (which is MUCH cheaper than Comcast) and not even have to be concerned about returning it in the next day or two? Come to think of it with Netflix you can watch the movies / TV shows you want to watch wherever you wish be it in your living room you’re your laptop or on your smart phone. Some TV’s come with wireless connections just for downloading movies from Netflix these days. Do you have a Nintendo Wii or a Xbox 360? Yeah, you can download Netflix movies from these game systems too. Then there is Red Box. Red Box machines have popped up everywhere. You can rent a DVD for $1.00. “What about Blu-ray?” you may ask. Well, for $1.50 you can rent a Blu-ray from a Red Box. You can also return it to ANY Red Box kiosk. Blockbuster can not compete with that; nor can they compete with the future – downloadable content. Blockbuster has been trying to rearrange the furniture on the first class deck of the Titanic but no matter how neat & orderly the deck looks the ship is still sinking. It is hard to fight an idea whose time has come.

Let’s gaze into my crystal ball… into the future. What will it look like? DLC is the future. Downloadable Content for the distribution of media (movies, music, video games, information) will be the business standard in the coming years. And no matter how much I love my Blu-ray movies they too will give way to DLC in 1080p. No matter how much I may love my Xbox 360, my Sony PSIII, or even my Nintendo Wii video games there will simply be no reason why I will have to own a physical disk anymore. Blockbuster is hemorrhaging now, when the next – next generation game consoles hit Gamestop (a store that specializes in used video games) will fall as well. It’s the way of things and it is hard to fight against the future. I’m sure that there will be some sort of occasional effort from companies to have “Special Editions” of movies and games that are packaged with cool doodads, souvenirs, toys and statues but when you sit down to watch that movie or play that game you’ll enter a code from a card or you’ll simply click a button on a remote. It will be a world without discs. Theoretically, this should drive prices down since you will no longer have a physical Blu-ray or video game to take up space on your shelf but the price of this future is something that is still cloudy from the vision from my crystal ball.

Here’s to the hunger of instant gratification; the engine of society’s progress!

Now that I’ve said that and in that vein… I can move forward to actually reviewing some Blu-rays. At the Blu-Ray Dossier I review Blu-ray movies on a 5 star (5 is the best), two tiered system; the first rating is for the story and the second is for the jaw dropping Blu-ray quality. Here’s what I’ve been watching…

Despicable Me, 3 Stars / 4 Stars. I did not go into this one with high expectations but I was pleasantly surprised. The animation glistens and gleams in 1080p. The story is about a man who happens to be an evil genius who, through a series of misadventures becomes a dad. Good for the family. Go rent if for ‘em.

Knight & Day, 2.5 Stars / 3 Stars. A romantic comedy with explosions. I liked it and it is worth the rental. Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz are the couple and they are fun to watch. Pop some popcorn; you’ll have a good time and YES this can be considered a “Date Movie”.

The A-Team, 3 Stars / 3 Stars. This is another one I was pleasantly surprised by. I LOVED watching original A-Team back in the day. This oozes nostalgia and seeing these characters in action again just had me grinning the whole picture through. There’s a bit of a breakdown in act III but it still delivers. If memory serves the movie didn’t break bank at the box office; still this is one franchise that I would love to see continue. Rent it, you’ll have a good time.

Resident Evil: Afterlife, 2.5 Stars / 3 Stars. The Resident Evil movies have always been loosely based on Sony’s Resident Evil video game franchise and this one is no different. It was originally released in 3D and shot with real 3D cameras instead of that horrid 2D to 3D process that some companies strain their new releases through. One thing I’ve noticed after 4 movies thus far, Paul W. S. Anderson is having a good time playing in the playground that he has created and I’ve got to give him kudos for that. He has written and directed each of the movies and they have been successful enough for Sony to keep asking him back. What can I say, I was entertained. Lots of ‘splosions and Anderson sets it up for part 5 which I will probably rent as well.

Grown Ups, 3 Stars / 3 Stars. A lot of reviewers have given this film a lot of flack and not all of it is deserved. I’ve heard, “It’s too crude” or “It’s not good for children!” Well that may be the case and it may not be for everyone but I’ll say this, it’s one of the most accurate portrayals of a group of men of a certain age that I’ve seen in a long time. Men are boys whose toys are more expensive; you may deny it but you know deep down that it rings true. Adam Sandler, Chris Rock, Kevin James, Rob Schneider and David Spade play the adult versions of their younger selves and I, for one, enjoyed the heck out of it. Rent it but beware you may see yourself in this film; if you don’t or worse, you can’t; then you have my pity.

So there it is.

I wonder what I should call this article once Blu-ray discs become obsolete? I’ll have to ponder that one.

Until next time, Gentle Reader, I’ll see you at the Red Box.

Three More for the Blu-Ray Dossier

Gentle Reader, you know the drill by now. I likes the Blu-ray movies. I rate ‘em on a two tier system; story first and Jaw Dropping Blu-ray quality second. That’s the nuts and bolts of things so, that being said, here’s what I’ve been watching…

The Untouchables – Special Collector’s Edition, 3.8 Stars / 4 Stars. Brian De Palma captured a lightning in a bottle with a great cast and a taught story back in 1987. You’ve got Costner, Connery, Garcia and De Niro in roles that they were born to play. Blu-ray moments? Oh yeah, the whole Canadian set up is quite beautiful. Rent it. You’ll remember why you loved it the first time and you’ll see the joy of Blu-ray unfold before your eyes.

Robin Hood (2010), 4 Stars / 4 Stars. I went into this one with preconceived notions. I had read some pretty bad things and I brought that baggage alone with me for the ride. What can I say… I was wrong. I loved this version of Robin Hood. I think that the reason it didn’t really take off here Stateside is because the studio did not know how to market it correctly. This is ROBIN HOOD; it should not be plagued by poor advertising. Ridley Scott delivers and not just with putting Russell Crowe through his paces as the titular title character. This is a Robin Hood that I really want to see a ‘Part II’ for. Then there is the cast… Crowe does a wonderful job as Robin of the Hood but it’s the unexpected performances that really grab you. Max Von Sydow? Check. William Hurt? Check. Cate Blanchett? Check. Mark Strong? Check. This is a film that lays down the epic and I’m glad I was there to pick it up. As for Blu-ray quality, the White Cliffs of Dover look as menacing as they should and I liked the water scenes too. This is just a great version of a classic. Check it out for yourself.

Superman / Batman – Apocalypse, 3.5 Stars / 3 Stars. DC Showcase has produced a number of GREAT animated movies for some pretty ICONIC characters. They consistently deliver the goods. Superman / Batman – Apocalypse is no different. Expect to see Darkseid, Wonder Woman, Bats, Superman, Big Bartha and Super Girl at the tops of their games and if any of those names don’t ring a bell then you should rent this disc. You’ve got about 30 years of comic history dancing in front of you with crystal clear Blu-ray reproduction. It is a GOOD time to be a geek.

The Blu-Ray Dossier Review Retrofit

NOTE: Please forgive all of the “I” and “Me” that you are about to read here. It all sounds so egocentric. I suppose that’s the nature of a blog or social media. Someone feels that they have an idea that they want to share and they just start typing. Well, this is my blog and I like to share my passion for story delivered via the Blu-ray format.

Now let's get down to business...

I review movies on Blu-ray. I try to separate the wheat from the chaff. I do this because I love fun cinema and I don’t wish there to be viewer remorse after plunking down whatever you paid to buy or rent said movin’ pictures Blu-ray disc. I rate on two factors: story and jaw dropping Blu-ray picture quality. Recently I’ve been doing some house cleaning here at Chicken Scratch, which included removing “My Favorite Coffee Houses” and putting up “Blu-Ray Dossier at a Glance”. While I stand by my ratings I gotta say that if I could turn back time there are a few films that I may have rated a bit differently – just a bit mind you. Here are some of the changes that would have been…

“Kick Ass” might get a 0.5 increase for story.

“9” would be reassigned a 2 Star / 3 Star rating.

“G.I. Joe” should be a 1.5 star movie for story.

“Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull” could be a 3.5 Star / 3.5 Star.

“Land of the lost” could easily be a 1.5 – 2 Star for story.

“Quantum of Solace” 3.5 Story / 4 Stars for Blu-ray quality.

“The Road” could easily be a 3 Star / 3 Star.

“Transformers – Rise of the Fallen” should really be a 1.5 for story.

"Zombieland" is about a 4 Star for story.

So there we have the delicate business of Monday morning quarterbacking my own reviews. As previously stated, I stand by my ratings but… if I was writing the above reviews right now, in the fullness of time, the ratings for the above films could have easily looked like these.

Please forgive me Gentle Reader. I will continue to strive for consistency but until then I just may have to hold my own feet in the fire from time to time.

‘Nuff said.

Blu-Ray Dossier the Return

A running article here at Chicken Scratch is the Blu-Ray Dossier. I am a movie geek and a bit of a snob when it comes to the art and business of film. I love cinema and it has become one of my favorite delivery devices for plot and story. It is for this reason I am picky. Here in the Blu-Ray Dossier I like to give credit where credit is due for the good, the bad and the just plain ugly. The first rating that you see is all about how good a movie/film it is. The second rating is all about the jaw dropping Blu-ray factor. Modern cinema is shot in 1080p just the way a director usually intended you to see it. It is the gold standard the cameras use. Television has evolved to the point of High Definition and now 1080p is now an option for ones own home.

Now that the formalities are out of the way, grab some popcorn because here is what has been playing in Evil Chicken’s living room…

Where the Wild Things Are: 3 Stars / 3.5 Stars. I love Spike Jonze. The man can tell a story in a way that truly makes it his own. And Where the Wild Things Are is no different. The challenge is to make a full-length motion picture from a 15 or so page beloved children’s book. No easy feat. Yes, the Wild Things represent different people and parts of Max’s psyche and yeah, that’s cool to a degree but the film gets bogged down in it’s own complexities and loses a bit of it’s heart.

Sherlock Holmes: 3.5 Stars / 3.5 Stars. I loved the pairing of Robert Downey Jr. (Holmes) with Jude Law (Watson). Great chemistry. I am looking forward to the sequel to this adventure through a blue-screened Victorian London. It was fun to watch and worth the rental. Some have criticized this film by saying that there was too much fighting that Holmes was involved with and that the filmmakers wanted to make him into an action hero. Conan Doyle’s Holmes WAS a pugilist and a man of action. He was not just Basil Rathbone with a violin, a pipe and a magnifying glass. That being said it is a passable action flick.

Twilight New Moon: 2 Stars / 3 Stars. I wanted to be fair with this one. I was hoping to walk that thin line between objectivity and honesty. I hope this passes. I am not a Twilight fan. Sparkling hundred year-old vampires who fall for high school girls who have friends that happen to be a pack of werewolves just don’t cut it for me. The CGI is not as wooden as the acting. The best part about this franchise is knowing that it is half over. Perhaps if I was a teenage girl I would feel differently? Nope, my three daughters are as perplexed at this phenomena as I am.

The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus: 4 Stars / 4 Stars. I love Mr. Terry Gilliam. He is worth seeing no matter what it is he does. His work has a tendency to stay with you YEARS after you have seen it. It’s a sad state of affairs that he does not get the backing that he truly deserves most of the time. This time, and perhaps partiality due to the sad and untimely death of Mr. Heath Ledger, Gilliam does and he nails the dismount while doing so. The scenes shot in the real world – with Heath Ledger were complete. The scenes inside the Imaginarium – an amazing dreamscape where anything is possible were not. To rectify this Johnny Depp, Jude Law and Collin Ferrell assumed the roll of the Hanged Man (Ledger) in the dream world. Check this one out. I guarantee that it is the most original thing that you have seen on your HDTV in a long time. The dedication of the film is pretty classy too.

Ponyo: 4 Stars / 4 Stars. Hayao Miyazaki, the same man who brought us “Spirited Away”, “Howl’s Moving Castle” and “Princess Mononoke” gives the world his take on “The Little Mermaid”. Miyazaki and Studio Ghibli have been powerhouses of Japanese animation for decades. PIXAR is the house of magic here in the Americas and Studio Ghibli holds that honor in Japan. Miyazaki is a brilliant and gifted storyteller. If you are familiar then you know the spectacle that you are about to behold. If you are just discovering him and his work I am envious. You are in for a treat.

The Road: 4 Stars /3.5 Stars. I was depressed after viewing this film. But it stuck with me. Some may just say that it is just a downer of a film but now, after considering it further I believe this is a film about hope. Hope when there is absolutely nothing to be hopeful for. The plot follows a father and son as they traverse across a post apocalyptic world heading towards the ocean. There are some allegories at play here as well. SPOILER – SKIP TO THE NEXT REVIEW TO REMAIN PURE: Not to spoil your experience but the father is Moses. He gets to see the Promised Land but he is not allowed in. But there is hope for the children who actually make it to the land of milk and honey. This story of love and survival is not easy to watch but it will stay with you.

The Wolfman: 1 Star / 2 Stars. I so wanted this movie to knock it out of the park. It did not. I so wanted Stan Winston’s final film to be one for the ages. It is not. I so wanted to see Anthony Hopkins and Benicio del Toro rip into their scenes together. They try but are caught in what must have been a development hell on set. One gets the feeling that once they started shooting the filmmakers really did not know which direction they were going to take this. Where they take it is clichéd and tired. I can’t believe I’m about to type this but “Twilight New Moon” is better than “The Wolfman”. Ouch.

Alice in Wonderland: 4 Stars / 4 Stars. Tim Burton – Johnny Depp? Here… just let my buy my ticket now. We (my daughters and I) really dug this quasi-sequel to the original Alice stories. Dizzying imaginations are at play in this production. The story is well served and realized and the green screen work is something to see. Depp shines as the Mad Hatter as does Mia Wasikowska as THE Alice – the Underland prophesized champion and potential slayer of the Jabberwocky. I thought it was fun film and worthy of the name, Alice.


Yojimbo: 4.5 Stars / 4 Stars. Back before “The Man With No Name” played by Clint Eastwood roamed Sergio Leone’s spaghetti westerns a ronin samurai, Sanjûrô Tsubaki, was pitting two rival gangs against each other in Yojimbo. What an amazing and influential film this truly is. Leone and his Japanese counterparts did a lot of ‘borrowing’ from each other in the early sixties. Thankfully we the viewers have a win win because of it, two great films one timeless story.

The Godfather Parts I & II: 5 Stars / 3.5 Stars. Yes, technically these are two separate films but they are meant to be one picture. What can one say that has not already been said about these classic films? I can say that it has been re-mastered for Blu-ray and that the print that they used to do so is an improvement over the regular DVD release. Where these films truly shine are in the storytelling and the acting. The characterizations that Brando, Pacino, Caan, DeNiro, Duvall and Keaton bring to life are epic in scope. Francis Ford Coppola made lightning strike twice with these films. They are national treasures. If you have not seen them in some time check them out on Blu-ray. Have some pasta with meat gravy and maybe some cannoli. You really cannot go wrong with these films and that’s something you can take to the mattress.

See you at Blockbuster!

Blu-Ray Dossier 6.0

We’ve got a lot of ground to cover this time out. That Snowpocalypse II had me watching movies on Blu-ray at an amazing rate. Speaking of rates; I rate films on a two tier, 5 Star system based on story first and jaw dropping Blu-ray quality second. This means that a really awful movie could have a really great Blu-ray score. Conversely, that same movie would score pretty low on the whole “Story” portion of my rating system and, I do not say this lightly, Story makes the world go round. All right. That’s that. Let’s get down to business…

Grindhouse – Death Proof: 4 Stars / 4 Stars. It is no great secret, I love Quinton Tarantino and this was his half of the Grindhouse double feature that he and Robert Rodriguez put together a couple of years ago. It is not for everyone. There is a lot of language and violence but Tarantino uses both as tools for his storytelling. It is not for kids or the faint of heart. It is for people who loved the old style, seventies movie house cinema. If that was your bag then Grindhouse Death Proof is for you. I love the scratches and intentional skipping that simulates the changing of the reels on the projector. Watching this is like watching a slice of history. Also, Kurt Russell as Stuntman Mike is something to see. Tarantino and Rodriguez are fans and it shows.

The Hangover: 4 Stars / 4 Stars. This is a comedy and it is wrong on a lot of levels. It also happens to be flat out hilarious. The story revolves around four guys in Las Vegas during a bachelor party. They wake up and do not remember a thing. They notice that the soon to be groom is missing and have to reconstruct the previous night in order to get the betrothed to the church on time. You will laugh at this movie and, just like the guys in this movie, you may hate yourself in the morning for doing so but you will laugh. The Blu-ray of the strip at night caught my attention.

Labyrinth: 3.5 Stars / 3 Stars. I saw this with my three daughters and, since they were the target audience even after all these years since the release date, the three of them loved it. What can I say, it’s Muppets, it’s Bowie as the Goblin King and it’s a performance from a young Jennifer Connelly. There are worse ways to pass an afternoon.

Reign of Fire: 1 Star / 2 Stars. Don’t rent this. It is not worth your money or your time. It is a shame when good actors get trapped in bad projects. This is a bad project. The helicopter flight over what may or may not be the Cliffs of Dover earns it a 2 star Blu-ray factor but with a 1 Star check in the Story column… just find another picture to see.

The Hurt Locker: 5 Stars / 4.5 Stars. This is a brilliant film directed by Karen Bigelow; that follows an EOD (Explosive Ordinance Detonation) team in Iraq. “The rush of battle is a potent and often lethal addiction, for war is a drug” – Chris Hedges. I had not seen this before my Oscar blog (http://evilchickenscratch.blogspot.com/2010/02/82nd-academy-awards.html). If I had the blog may have read differently. This film deserves ANY and ALL awards that it garnishes. The three lead actors are unbelievable. The characterization is flawless. Not to give too much away but some of the most powerful moments in a powerful film are when Sgt. James (Jeremy Renner) is home with his family and back in civilian life at least while on leave. Picking out a box of cereal proves more impossible than defusing a roadside IED. There is a moment when he is alone with his barely a toddler son and tells him that when you are young there is so much that you love but when you get to be his age there are only two… No. “One thing” that you may love. For Sgt. James that one thing is the adrenalin high of combat and doing his job on the EOD Team in Iraq. Do not miss this film.

The Wizard of Oz: 5 Stars / 4 Stars. Timeless. I explained to my three daughters that when I was a kid that this move only was shown on network television once a year and each and every year it was a treat; something special. This film is over 70 years old and I’m happy to report it is still something special. It is now in 1080p. What I loved best was watching my youngest daughter’s socks get blown off when it switches between black & white to beautiful Technicolor. The magic still works. It looks beautiful in Blu-ray. This just might find it’s way into our collection.

Star Wars the Clone Wars: 3.5 Stars / 4 Stars. Just when I think I’m out George Lucas keeps pulling me back in. This premise and concept are the “Star Wars” movies that Lucas may have been shooting for with the prequel trilogy (although “Episode III” had some great stuff going for it). This is computer animated Star Wars and, dare I say, some of the special effect battles are better than those found in the original trilogy (which BTW is sacred to me). This was much better than I expected and it has fostered an interest in me to seek out the “Clone Wars” series on DVD to rent. What do you know? Star Wars is still cool.

That’s all I’ve got for now, Gentle Reader. Until next time, I’ll see you online at Blockbuster!

The Blu-Ray Dossier 5.0

As I write this, Gentle Reader, there is snow on the ground. No that does not really say it right at all please let me try once again… As I writer this there is SNOW on the ground (2 feet plus).

Yeah, that’s better.

Now I ask you, when is a better time for a movie marathon then one is snowed in? That being said, that’s what I’ve been up to (in between shoveling that is). Welcome to the latest edition of The Blu-Ray Dossier. This is the fifth in an ongoing quest to find the best Blu-ray movies and rate them on a 5 star scale for both story and jaw dropping Blu-ray picture quality. That being said here is what I saw…

Kill Bill Volume I: 4.5 Stars / 4 Stars. Who working in the cinema today is making such consistently great movies as Mr. Quentin Tarantino? He is having too much fun. This is a story of a woman, a man and a cabal of assassins and, oh yes, it is about revenge. Uma Thurman is Quentin’s muse for a reason – she is electric as “The Bride”. The dialogue and the storytelling is what sets this apart from other such fare. Who else would put in an anime flashback into the history of an assassin or use brilliantly choreographed over the top cartoon violence during the battle of the Bride vs. the Crazy 88s? This is a love letter to the 70s kung-fu movies from days of yore and I lapped it up.

The Road Warrior: 4.5 Stars / 3.5 Stars. I remember begging my father to take me to see this on the big screen when it first came to the shores of America. I have loved this movie ever since. After the first film, “Mad Max”, Max’s humanity was put on hold. In “The Road Warrior” Max finds his humanity again. This film set the bar for car chases and all things Armageddon related on celluloid, in the world of video games (see Fallout 3) and in popular culture. The Blu-ray was acceptable but it didn’t have the slack jawed beauty that I look for these days. It’s a good transfer – my jaw just didn’t drop.

Kill Bill Volume II: 4.5 Stars / 4 Stars. Did I mention that this is probably one on David Carradine’s finest performances? Did I happen to say that the music in a Tarantino film is simply spot on the money and that it almost becomes a character itself? Did I mention that the Five Point Exploding Heart Technique of Pai Mai’s is very hard to master or that I want a Hattori Hanzō sword? Sorry… I probably forgot. BTW, did I mention that Quentin Tarantino is a genius?

John Carpenter’s The Thing: 4.5 Stars / 4 Stars. This is one of John Carpenter’s finest films and a favorite of mine ever since it came out in 1982. This is one of those rare occasions where the remake is better than the original – and, yes, I loved the original too. The Thing copies DNA. If it were to make its way to civilization humanity is doomed. Trust, isolation and sacrifice are at the core of this film – well that and some of the best special effects that could be mustered in the early eighties. Kurt Russell and John Carpenter were able to capture some amazing things (pardon the pun) on film and their collaborations are some of my all time favorite films. If you have not seen it yet you should give it a try… especially if you happen to be snowed in.

Zombieland: 4.5 Stars / 4 Stars. This is a fun movie – bottom line. It is a zombie movie (although technically they are not zombies) and there is gore but all that gives way to the story, the characterizations and the humor. This is a great cast that includes Woody Harrelson as Tallahassee the zombie survivalist in search of a Twinkie and Jesse Eisenberg as Columbus who provides the narrative of their adventures. Columbus also has a running list of “Rules” that would prove beneficial when the zombie uprising happens in 2012 including; “Number 1: Cardio”, “Number 2: Double Tap” and “Number 32: Enjoy the Little Things”. You will have a good time with this movie.

The Shining: 5 Stars / 4.5 Stars. Although Stephen King does not like this version of his story Stanley Kubrick’s 1980 film is, as the film’s poster says, “A Masterpiece of Modern Horror”. There is a lot going on with this film and it does not answer all the questions that it asks which is a bit of shining brilliance. Is the Overlook Hotel simply haunted or are certain souls destine to return there over and over and over again? What’s going on in room 237 and is Lloyd really that great a bartender? Who or what was Tony – Danny’s protector, another piece of his psyche or something else? The cast really sells this story. Jack Nicholson is at his finest as Jack Torrance, Shelly Duval as his wife Wendy is perfect and Danny Lloyd as Danny performed way beyond his years. This is one of the greats of psychological horror, which is magnified in the Blu-ray format. The trip to the Overlook Hotel never looked so good. Snow plays heavily into the story and I can’t think of a better film to have in your Blu-ray player if you happen to be snowed in for the weekend. “HERE’S JOHNNY!”

So there you have it. That’s what’s been buttering my popcorn lately. What have you been watching and has it been on Blu-ray? I really cannot recommend the format more highly.

Until next time, save my space in line at Blockbuster!

Blue-Ray Dossier - Volume 3.0

This is a busy time of year for yours truly. November is National Novel Writing Month, the holidays are right around the corner, I’m collaborating with a friend of mine on a screenplay, I’m still blogging, and then there are all of those wonderful Blu-ray movies that keep popping up.

Gentle Reader, all thought there are shenanigans aplenty, I humbly want you to know that I am still fighting the good fight; I’m still watching movies – Blu-ray movies that is. I rate movies on a one – five star, two round system; round one is all about the story and round two is all about the Blu-ray. The more stars the better. Here’s what has been on the menu…

“Beetlejuice” 4 Stars / 3.5 Stars. I love Tim Burton. Say what you will but the man has a unique vision when it comes to creating worlds on film. He has an eye for telling stories. Beetlejuice is no different. What’s not to like about this Tim Burton film about a Bio-Exorcist (a ghost who gets rid of the living for you)? You have a recently deceased, naive couple that is trying to rid themselves of the obnoxious new owners of their home. They can’t do the job themselves and when the regular lines of bureaucracy in the afterlife fail them they call on Beetlejuice adeptly played by Michael Keaton. Brilliant stuff. You will giggle. The Blu-ray aspect is not as good as it could have been but I believe it is only a question of technology. “Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland” is being released in 2010 and I have no doubt that when that hits Blu-ray my jaw will drop. Beetlejuice is retrofitted but worth your time.

“Monsters Vs. Aliens” 3 Stars / 4 Stars. This is a cute movie. Reese Witherspoon voices Susan, a woman whom on her wedding day becomes the 50 Foot Woman. She is captured by the government and then is united with a group of monsters that have been hidden away since the fifties. It’s light, it’s entertaining and the kids loved it. There you go. The Blu-ray factor is better. Watching the Golden Gate Bridge get destroyed was a feast for the eyes. When the President of the United States is attacked by the giant robot the detail was gorgeous. This was worth the rental and you may want to pick up a copy if you have little ones.

“Up” 5 Stars / 5 Stars. I do not think that I have ever seen a better picture about the human grieving process than “Up”. There is a lot of symbolism in this one. Pixar can do no wrong. Be warned, this is a tearjerker that has mortality and adventure at its heart. You will be moved. The wizards at Pixar are able to accomplish more with a well-told, heartfelt story via computer animation than a lot of flesh and blood directors and actors can on film. It is brilliant storytelling and yes, I cried. The joy of this film is that Pixar never once treats you, the viewer, like an idiot by making the characters anything less than flesh and blood. Simply brilliant. The Blu-ray factor will knock your socks off. The balloons and the detail on the Tapui mountain tops… spectacular. This is not in my collection yet but it will be.

“King Kong the Extended Edition” 4.5 Stars / 5 Stars. Peter Jackson is one of my favorite guys to watch in the business. Not only is he a great storyteller but also he is a fan. This is at once an homage and a digital upgrade to one of my all time favorites, 1933’s RKO Pictures, “King Kong”. This film is a love letter to the original and Jackson delivers. He used some of the actors from his Lord of the Rings trilogy so you may see one or two familiar faces along the way including Andy Serkis (Golem from the Lord of the Rings Trilogy) who plays Lumpy the cook and does the motion capture work for King Kong himself. The trouble with doing a remake of a legend is that everyone already knows how it ends. Still this one is worth your time just for the action that takes place on Skull Island alone. The Blu-ray factor is mesmerizing. Your jaw will drop. The detail is startling. If you are a fan of Kong you probably already own this one. If you are not the Extended Edition (emphasis on the ‘Extended’ at over 3 hours and 20 minutes) is most certainly worth your time.

“G.I. Joe” 2.5 Stars / 3 Stars. I went into this one prejudiced. I went in thinking preconceived and assumed bad things about the movie, which is not entirely too fair. I should approach unseen movies / films with an open mind instead of being closed off to the possibility that I may actually like a project and that, perhaps, it can stand on it’s own merit. I should aspire to be a better Evil Chicken. What can I say? I was wrong to be so heavy handed. It was better than I thought it was going to be. They took a toy line and cartoon from the eighties (they ignored the G.I. Joe that I grew up with minus a “Kung Fu Grip” nod) and put it on the big screen with aplomb. This being said, “G.I. Joe” is not Shakespeare or Spielberg – It’s “G.I. Joe”. Don’t go into this movie thinking it’s going to be a film and you’ll have a good time. I liked the

“Star Trek” 4.5 Stars / 4.5 Stars. J.J. Abrams and the new crew of the Enterprise deliver BIG TIME on this resetting of a cultural and science fiction behemoth, Star Trek. I am a fan so it was important to remain as fair and balanced as possible. Mr. Abrams and company know what they are doing. This crew from a universe just next to ours take an over 40 year cannon of stories and flip it on it’s pointy ear. That is no easy feat. What’s old is new once more and sacred cows are the first things to be slaughtered. Anything goes in this new universe. Kirk and Spock hate each other, a major federation planet implodes and Captain Pike does not BEEP! Oh, it is a good time to jump on board the Enterprise. Speaking of the Enterprise; she looks beautiful in Blu-ray. There is a special section on disc two where you can investigate the Enterprise. Do so. I have always loved the design of this vessel and J.J.’s starship is a wonder to behold unto itself. I can’t wait to boldly go where no other Star Trek has gone before… back to the beginning – this is not wrote, it’s new and anything can happen. I own this one and you should too.

So there you have it, Gentle Reader, Volume III of the Blu-Ray Dossier. I’ll see you in line at Blockbuster!