The Reach of Project Natal

“So have you seen the Natal?” friend Number One asked.

“Nope.” I said, “Although it sounds familiar.”

“WHAT!” said friend Number Two. “You have GOT to see the trailers.”

“Trailers?” I asked.

“YOU haven’t seen the trailers?” said friend Number One. “You’ve got to see the trailers.”

“Yes,” said friend Number Two, “You’ve got to see the trailers.”

So I saw the trailers. You should see the trailers too. I will give the links in a few moments but prepare yourselves, Gentle Readers, although what you are about to see is for a “video game system” what you are truly about to see is the future. Really. I don’t shill for Microsoft / X-box (although if you are out there Microsoft / X-box, I wouldn’t mind shilling for you… forgive me. I digress). I do not have any stake other than sharing with you what I believe is the dawn of a new era in computer electronic human interface.

The first trailer is cute it shows some of the possibilities of this interface with gaming and with social networking. It can be found here: http://www.xbox.com/en-US/live/projectnatal/.

The second trailer hints at what could become something so much… more. It can be found here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PYPh6qo03gA.

With facial, body and voice recognition Project Natal changes the playing field. A few years ago when the Nintendo Wii came out Sony and Microsoft had been spending their time developing systems with graphics reproduction processors and digital sound – which are important things IF you are a gamer. Nintendo, on the other hand, invested in revolution. With their wireless motion controllers and nun chucks they made it possible for even non-gamers to play video games. It was a simple idea that shook the whole industry and made Nintendo the lead dog of the video game console dog team. Your grandmother may not want to be on your “Call of Duty” strike team but she absolutely loves to bowl with you on the Wii. And just why is that? It is because it is accessible. It is familiar. Nintendo did not have to have the best processing because they had the best interface. That was a historic step. Initially the other companies called the Wii a fad (just like 30 years ago people called video games ‘a fad’). But year after year with the Wii at the top of the heap the other companies decided to develop their own Wii type interfaces. Sony practically copied the Wii Remote (which has not been released yet) and Microsoft developed the Natal. The difference between the two is that the Sony controller is a retread and the Natal is the forward motion of not only gaming but of computer interfacing itself. It surpasses the Wii and, for lack of a better phrase, is the next step in whatever the future may hold.

Enter the X-box Natal. With the Natal now your X-box knows who you are. It recognizes you. It knows the sound of your voice. It tailors itself to fit your needs. This opens up gaming, storytelling and participatory theater to a completely new level. Don’t believe me? Here is some guy named Spielberg to give his two cents concerning the Natal: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v_3X8TY32f0.

Now let’s consider the future. Can you imagine what the first social interactions or Facebook / Natal interfaces would be? Hundreds of millions of people out there all with their own avatars ready, willing and able to communicate in ways not even dreamed of with a mouse and a keyboard. How about the Windows Natal Browser? I kid you not; this is the shape of things to come. One does not have to be The Amazing Kreskin to see what the future may be here – what it will be here. Can you imagine what a Natal Enabled Classroom would look like? How about Natal Enabled medical records or business presentations? A Natal PowerPoint is not beyond the realm of possibility – it is the same company.

With all of the benefits that such an interface would deliver what concerns me are some of the potential detriments. There will be people who are going to get so enraptured with all the virtual worlds inside the Natal that the real one would fade in comparison. There will be those who like there lives more inside the Natal than on the outside. There are friends inside there. They understand. They cater to one’s needs, wants and desires. Sure they are relating to programs within an electronic construct but if the shoe fits… For these souls Natal Anonymous chapters would open up. I can already hear the empty talking heads on the morning news programs – “Technology, how much is too much?” The answer to that lies only in the boundaries of human imagination. The simple fact of the matter is once the genie is out of the bottle the world has moved on. There is no going back – nor should there be. However; for every step forward, throughout history mind you, there are those who are willing and able to take three steps back. There were people who said that horseless carriages would never last; that man would never fly. There were those who said that man would never walk on the moon. There were some who said average everyday people would never need anything like a personal computer. There were those who said video games were just a fad. You get the idea. This technology is here and it will be here to stay. Users will have to adapt and the Natal makes adaptation such an easy feat. Those that don't will be left behind.

“If this is the real deal, what about addiction?”

In the grand scale bell curve of progress you will find on either side of that curve people who will utilize a new technology (or anything for that matter) too much or too little. If you like cars or motorcycles you are a “Gear Head”. If you like computers and what makes them run you are a “Tech Head”. If you like either of these pastimes too much and it monopolizes your time where you are constantly thinking about (insert addiction here) then you may have a problem (of course you may also have a clear career path too). For the vast majority on this future bell curve it will be a tool; a new way to communicate. And just as with anything there will be those who are better at new technologies than others and there will be those who will eternally have their digital clocks blinking 12:00 AM.

As for having an addiction? “My name is Evil Chicken and I have (or will have) a Natal problem.” There. I’ve said it. I’ve taken the first step to recovery.

We have looked at the good and the bad of the Natal; now let’s look at the ugly. Facial and Voice recognition, tens of millions of users worldwide – each with their own personal identification and profiles that they update themselves? All cataloged in one place! Right now, I kid you not, there are think tanks and organizations (governmental and otherwise) filled with people wringing their hands and stroking their pencil thin mustaches who are overcome with joy with frenzied looks in their eyes at the prospect of having all of that information at their fingertips. The information that they have is yours. Big Brother now is no longer just watching you. No. Now he is playing volleyball with you in your living room. He is able to sit in on each and every video chat that you have with your cousin in Seattle or your wife back home in Jersey or your doctor’s office. He is able to see what sites you go to and what you buy online. Whatever the camera’s eye sees or the electronic ear hears someone, somewhere can see it too. Money may make the world go round but information? Information is power. Power is the drug that fuels the engines of despotism, tyranny and repression.

“Oh come on, Evil Chicken. You are being paranoid. That could never happen.”

No? Not to sound too much like a conspiracy theorist please consider the case of the school in Lower Merion Township in Pennsylvania and how they were activating the web cams on student’s computers to “track missing laptops”. Read ‘em and weep: http://www.wired.com/threatlevel/2010/02/school-district-halts-webcam-surveillance/.

This is only a small abuse of power. I am not even going to discuss the HUGE abuses of power that the big fish could perpetrate in this equation. Do a search on Google and the NSA who have been recently working together. I am going to hazard a guess and say that Google will be one or the options for search engines on future models of the Natal. “Don’t be evil” was nice while it lasted – however long that was. Now imagine that it is your turn to be reviewed or audited as for your habits of what you do online or, in the near future, on the Natal Network. We voluntarily give out so much of our information and our personal freedoms so willingly all in the names of entertainment and security. Perhaps it will be something as "innocuous" as selling your demographic info to advertising agencies? Perhaps the monitoring will be chalked up to "national security" or "finding terrorists". Whatever the case YOU will be watched. You will be told it is for your own good. Only history will hold the answer to if the clandestine monitoring / spying was worth the price of identity.

Please forgive me… "Who watches the watchmen" is only a part of this equation. This is still about the Natal, which has the power of becoming an amazing new tool for the ages. As with any tool it is only as good as the craftsman who is using it. The same can be said for the craftsman’s intentions. Whether you believe Microsoft can deliver on the Natal or not it will be in stores for Christmas 2010.

I’ll be camping out for one. I believe that for the future the Good will be worth the Bad and that the Ugly have always been with us – they just have better tools now.

I’ll see you in line.

Blu-Ray Dossier 6.0

We’ve got a lot of ground to cover this time out. That Snowpocalypse II had me watching movies on Blu-ray at an amazing rate. Speaking of rates; I rate films on a two tier, 5 Star system based on story first and jaw dropping Blu-ray quality second. This means that a really awful movie could have a really great Blu-ray score. Conversely, that same movie would score pretty low on the whole “Story” portion of my rating system and, I do not say this lightly, Story makes the world go round. All right. That’s that. Let’s get down to business…

Grindhouse – Death Proof: 4 Stars / 4 Stars. It is no great secret, I love Quinton Tarantino and this was his half of the Grindhouse double feature that he and Robert Rodriguez put together a couple of years ago. It is not for everyone. There is a lot of language and violence but Tarantino uses both as tools for his storytelling. It is not for kids or the faint of heart. It is for people who loved the old style, seventies movie house cinema. If that was your bag then Grindhouse Death Proof is for you. I love the scratches and intentional skipping that simulates the changing of the reels on the projector. Watching this is like watching a slice of history. Also, Kurt Russell as Stuntman Mike is something to see. Tarantino and Rodriguez are fans and it shows.

The Hangover: 4 Stars / 4 Stars. This is a comedy and it is wrong on a lot of levels. It also happens to be flat out hilarious. The story revolves around four guys in Las Vegas during a bachelor party. They wake up and do not remember a thing. They notice that the soon to be groom is missing and have to reconstruct the previous night in order to get the betrothed to the church on time. You will laugh at this movie and, just like the guys in this movie, you may hate yourself in the morning for doing so but you will laugh. The Blu-ray of the strip at night caught my attention.

Labyrinth: 3.5 Stars / 3 Stars. I saw this with my three daughters and, since they were the target audience even after all these years since the release date, the three of them loved it. What can I say, it’s Muppets, it’s Bowie as the Goblin King and it’s a performance from a young Jennifer Connelly. There are worse ways to pass an afternoon.

Reign of Fire: 1 Star / 2 Stars. Don’t rent this. It is not worth your money or your time. It is a shame when good actors get trapped in bad projects. This is a bad project. The helicopter flight over what may or may not be the Cliffs of Dover earns it a 2 star Blu-ray factor but with a 1 Star check in the Story column… just find another picture to see.

The Hurt Locker: 5 Stars / 4.5 Stars. This is a brilliant film directed by Karen Bigelow; that follows an EOD (Explosive Ordinance Detonation) team in Iraq. “The rush of battle is a potent and often lethal addiction, for war is a drug” – Chris Hedges. I had not seen this before my Oscar blog (http://evilchickenscratch.blogspot.com/2010/02/82nd-academy-awards.html). If I had the blog may have read differently. This film deserves ANY and ALL awards that it garnishes. The three lead actors are unbelievable. The characterization is flawless. Not to give too much away but some of the most powerful moments in a powerful film are when Sgt. James (Jeremy Renner) is home with his family and back in civilian life at least while on leave. Picking out a box of cereal proves more impossible than defusing a roadside IED. There is a moment when he is alone with his barely a toddler son and tells him that when you are young there is so much that you love but when you get to be his age there are only two… No. “One thing” that you may love. For Sgt. James that one thing is the adrenalin high of combat and doing his job on the EOD Team in Iraq. Do not miss this film.

The Wizard of Oz: 5 Stars / 4 Stars. Timeless. I explained to my three daughters that when I was a kid that this move only was shown on network television once a year and each and every year it was a treat; something special. This film is over 70 years old and I’m happy to report it is still something special. It is now in 1080p. What I loved best was watching my youngest daughter’s socks get blown off when it switches between black & white to beautiful Technicolor. The magic still works. It looks beautiful in Blu-ray. This just might find it’s way into our collection.

Star Wars the Clone Wars: 3.5 Stars / 4 Stars. Just when I think I’m out George Lucas keeps pulling me back in. This premise and concept are the “Star Wars” movies that Lucas may have been shooting for with the prequel trilogy (although “Episode III” had some great stuff going for it). This is computer animated Star Wars and, dare I say, some of the special effect battles are better than those found in the original trilogy (which BTW is sacred to me). This was much better than I expected and it has fostered an interest in me to seek out the “Clone Wars” series on DVD to rent. What do you know? Star Wars is still cool.

That’s all I’ve got for now, Gentle Reader. Until next time, I’ll see you online at Blockbuster!

Your Chance to Get Away From it ALL

Now here is a contest that could prove interesting: http://ow.ly/15GAF. All you have to do to win $10,000 is to disappear for a month’s time.

“Oh I could do that.”

Really, Gentle Reader? Disappearing is not all that easy in the second decade of the 21st century. “I think I’ll grab a cup of coffee and a magazine.” BOOM you just used your ATM card – you can be found. “Maybe I’ll rent a car and hit the open road.” BAM you just used your credit card and now you’ve made a paper trail. “Maybe I’ll just lay low at a friend’s house.” ZAP did I mention that there would be people looking for you? “Well, I’ll just drive my car north, south, east or west.” WHAM you have a license plate and an EZ Pass do you think you are not being monitored? …Oh the quest for 10 Gees in this day and age is not that easy after all.

That being said, I think I could do it. Evan Ratliff managed to make it for 25 days without being detected (http://www.wired.com/vanish/). Not for nuthin’ but I think that I could do better. I believe that if one is dedicated to living off the grid for a month’s time; that one could become 10 K richer.

“Off the grid?” Yeah, that’s what I said; you’ve got to go Gilligan’s Island – no phone, no light, no motorcar – not a single luxury. Or, you could hide in plain sight. Perhaps you would have help; perhaps you wouldn’t – HOWEVER it plays out it would make a GREAT story.

Perhaps I’m diluting myself but I could do that. What I would miss the most would be my family. BUT after Daddy won the 10 Grand we would all be going on a Disney Cruise; and that, Gentle Reader, is quality time.

So do you have the wherewithal to pull this off? Can you take a month off from your job and your responsibilities? Can you pass the background check? Could you effectively disappear?

This is your chance to find out.

NOTE: I found a cool picture of a magician on stage doing his thing but it disappeared. Hmm...

The Blu-Ray Dossier 5.0

As I write this, Gentle Reader, there is snow on the ground. No that does not really say it right at all please let me try once again… As I writer this there is SNOW on the ground (2 feet plus).

Yeah, that’s better.

Now I ask you, when is a better time for a movie marathon then one is snowed in? That being said, that’s what I’ve been up to (in between shoveling that is). Welcome to the latest edition of The Blu-Ray Dossier. This is the fifth in an ongoing quest to find the best Blu-ray movies and rate them on a 5 star scale for both story and jaw dropping Blu-ray picture quality. That being said here is what I saw…

Kill Bill Volume I: 4.5 Stars / 4 Stars. Who working in the cinema today is making such consistently great movies as Mr. Quentin Tarantino? He is having too much fun. This is a story of a woman, a man and a cabal of assassins and, oh yes, it is about revenge. Uma Thurman is Quentin’s muse for a reason – she is electric as “The Bride”. The dialogue and the storytelling is what sets this apart from other such fare. Who else would put in an anime flashback into the history of an assassin or use brilliantly choreographed over the top cartoon violence during the battle of the Bride vs. the Crazy 88s? This is a love letter to the 70s kung-fu movies from days of yore and I lapped it up.

The Road Warrior: 4.5 Stars / 3.5 Stars. I remember begging my father to take me to see this on the big screen when it first came to the shores of America. I have loved this movie ever since. After the first film, “Mad Max”, Max’s humanity was put on hold. In “The Road Warrior” Max finds his humanity again. This film set the bar for car chases and all things Armageddon related on celluloid, in the world of video games (see Fallout 3) and in popular culture. The Blu-ray was acceptable but it didn’t have the slack jawed beauty that I look for these days. It’s a good transfer – my jaw just didn’t drop.

Kill Bill Volume II: 4.5 Stars / 4 Stars. Did I mention that this is probably one on David Carradine’s finest performances? Did I happen to say that the music in a Tarantino film is simply spot on the money and that it almost becomes a character itself? Did I mention that the Five Point Exploding Heart Technique of Pai Mai’s is very hard to master or that I want a Hattori Hanzō sword? Sorry… I probably forgot. BTW, did I mention that Quentin Tarantino is a genius?

John Carpenter’s The Thing: 4.5 Stars / 4 Stars. This is one of John Carpenter’s finest films and a favorite of mine ever since it came out in 1982. This is one of those rare occasions where the remake is better than the original – and, yes, I loved the original too. The Thing copies DNA. If it were to make its way to civilization humanity is doomed. Trust, isolation and sacrifice are at the core of this film – well that and some of the best special effects that could be mustered in the early eighties. Kurt Russell and John Carpenter were able to capture some amazing things (pardon the pun) on film and their collaborations are some of my all time favorite films. If you have not seen it yet you should give it a try… especially if you happen to be snowed in.

Zombieland: 4.5 Stars / 4 Stars. This is a fun movie – bottom line. It is a zombie movie (although technically they are not zombies) and there is gore but all that gives way to the story, the characterizations and the humor. This is a great cast that includes Woody Harrelson as Tallahassee the zombie survivalist in search of a Twinkie and Jesse Eisenberg as Columbus who provides the narrative of their adventures. Columbus also has a running list of “Rules” that would prove beneficial when the zombie uprising happens in 2012 including; “Number 1: Cardio”, “Number 2: Double Tap” and “Number 32: Enjoy the Little Things”. You will have a good time with this movie.

The Shining: 5 Stars / 4.5 Stars. Although Stephen King does not like this version of his story Stanley Kubrick’s 1980 film is, as the film’s poster says, “A Masterpiece of Modern Horror”. There is a lot going on with this film and it does not answer all the questions that it asks which is a bit of shining brilliance. Is the Overlook Hotel simply haunted or are certain souls destine to return there over and over and over again? What’s going on in room 237 and is Lloyd really that great a bartender? Who or what was Tony – Danny’s protector, another piece of his psyche or something else? The cast really sells this story. Jack Nicholson is at his finest as Jack Torrance, Shelly Duval as his wife Wendy is perfect and Danny Lloyd as Danny performed way beyond his years. This is one of the greats of psychological horror, which is magnified in the Blu-ray format. The trip to the Overlook Hotel never looked so good. Snow plays heavily into the story and I can’t think of a better film to have in your Blu-ray player if you happen to be snowed in for the weekend. “HERE’S JOHNNY!”

So there you have it. That’s what’s been buttering my popcorn lately. What have you been watching and has it been on Blu-ray? I really cannot recommend the format more highly.

Until next time, save my space in line at Blockbuster!

Pentagon Working on Breeding Immortal Synthetic Organisms

So when does our technology outpace our humanity? Philosophers have struggled with the question for millennia. We have wrestled with the concept in books and films – trying to make sense of all of the giant leaps ahead all the while trying to keep a handle on our own place in the universe.

“What are you talking about, Evil Chicken?”

I’m talking about how the lines of fiction (some would say science fiction although that term truly does not adequately fit the context of most technological arguments anymore) and reality. Case in point, the Pentagon is, as the following article from Wired (although you can read this story anywhere), “looking to breed immortal, “synthetic organisms” with a molecular ‘kill-switch’” for those ‘just in case’ moments when one’s own creation gets out of hand.

“Come on…”

Nope, I’m not making this up; read Katie Drummond’s article for yourself here: http://www.wired.com/dangerroom/2010/02/pentagon-looks-to-breed-immortal-synthetic-organisms-molecular-kill-switch-included/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+wired%2Findex+%28Wired%3A+Index+3+%28Top+Stories+2%29%29&utm_content=Google+Feedfetcher

In the film “Blade Runner” humans created bio-engineered synthetic organisms that had a kill switch built into their DNA that only gave them a 5-year life span. The Nexus 6 line looked human and as new models came out with improved biometrics and implanted memories it became next to impossible to distinguish between the “Replicants” (synthetic organisms) and the humans.

The pentagon wants an immortal warrior who can sustain amazing damage but can still function on the battlefield. When Skynet started rolling Terminators off the assembly lines to wipe out the rest of the human blight in the Terminator movies they found that the best killers were the ones hidden under living, bio-engineered skin.

DARPA (the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency) is the research and development arm of the United States Department of Defense. This is a prestigious think tank that, according to my favorite second brain Wikipedia, is working on the Synthetic organisms. Check out this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DARPA#Projects and scroll down for a list of past projects and active projects which include XOS Exoskeletons (like the high end ones used in “AVATAR” and “Aliens”), High Energy Liquid Laser Area Defense Systems, Remote Controlled Insects (for spying and such) and making Combat Zones that See (where everything that moves in a given area is tracked). DARPA sounds like an interesting place to work. Now if anything goes wrong with these immortal synthetic organisms (causing a Zombie uprising or other such shenanigans) it’s all right; there’s a molecular “kill switch” – I’m sure that nothing could ever go wrong with that.

There is no such thing as science fiction anymore, Gentle Reader. Hold onto your hats. The future is now.

“History shows again and again how nature points out the folly of man.” – Blue Oyster Cult, Godzilla

The 82nd Academy Awards

Oh you 8.something pound little statue. You little golden idol of, voted by members of the Film Academy, of self-adulation. Oscar… I see you have returned. I knew that you would be back. Here is what you are bringing this year as per Harry Knowles: http://www.aintitcool.com/node/43846. (I got the data for this blog from Harry’s site. I could have gotten it from somewhere else but I didn’t.)

To pick who goes home with the little golden guy one must think like the Academy. That is NOT to say that the best picture in any given category goes home with Oscar; no. It means that one must channel and consider to think how the Academy thinks to truly pick who is gonna win. The last few years I have beat Oscar in the big categories in a blow-by-blow match of fisticuffs. All right, you little 8.something pound golden idol – let’s do this… let’s dance.

Best Picture:

UP
INGLORIOUS BASTERDS
AVATAR
DISTRICT 9
AN EDUCATION
THE HURT LOCKER
PRECIOUS
A SERIOUS MAN
THE BLIND SIDE
UP IN THE AIR

Now, let me just say there are some GREAT films in this category. Seriously. The announcements came in the day before yesterday and for the first time since “Casablanca” was in the theaters there are TEN, yep that’s right, TEN possible entries in the “Best Picture” category. This should open things up for a more, dare I say, fair and balanced campaign and selection. I hope that it works. I should also say that I have not seen all of the pictures in this category. Still, putting oneself into the mindset of the Academy one can make a postulation; who should win vs. who will win. I would love to see “Up” take it. It won’t because the Academy will view it as an “animated film” (which it is also listed as a nominee) and write it off. Meanwhile, “Up” is one of the finest films EVER made about the grief process. Heartfelt and touching, “Up” should win. That being said I’d be happy as a clam if “Inglorious Basterds” or “District 9” or “Avatar” won as well. The Academy will either go with “The Hurt Locker” or “Up In the Air”. …And the winner is… “The Hurt Locker”.

Best Actor:

Jeff Bridges, CRAZY HEART
George Clooney, UP IN THE AIR
Colin Firth, A SINGLE MAN
Morgan Freeman, INVICTUS
Jeremy Renner, THE HURT LOCKER

Good actors, good performances. …And the Oscar goes to… Morgan Freeman for “Invictus”!

Best Supporting Actor:

Matt Damon, INVICTUS
Woody Harrelson, THE MESSENGER (and ZOMBIELAND ahem)
Christopher Plummer, THE LAST STATION
Stanley Tucci, THE LOVELY BONES
Christoph Waltz, INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS

…And the winner is… Christoph Waltz for “Inglorious Basterds”! If Mr. Waltz does not walk away with that little golden icon then there is something completely and utterly wrong with the entire institution; so much so, I dare say, that THIS would be the last blog entry I’ll ever contest between Oscar and myself that I ever document. I feel that strongly.

Best Actress:

Sandra Bullock, THE BLIND SIDE
Helen Mirren, THE LAST STATION
Carey Mulligan, AN EDUCATION
Gabourey Sidibe, PRECIOUS
Meryl Streep, JULIE & JULIA

It’s getting tougher… Streep has her share of Oscar gold and it may be time for the Academy to try to show that they are in touch with the common, ordinary movie attendee. Hmm… And the winner is… Sandra Bullock for “The Blind Side”.

Best Supporting Actress:

Penelope Cruz, NINE
Vera Farmiga, UP IN THE AIR
Maggie Gyllenhaal, CRAZY HEART
Anna Kendrick, UP IN THE AIR
Mo'Nique, PRECIOUS

Tough. My, my, my… let’s see here… And the winner is… Maggie Gyllenhaal for “Crazy Heart”.

Best Director:

AVATAR, James Cameron
THE HURT LOCKER, Kathryn Bigelow
INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS, Quentin Tarantino
PRECIOUS, Lee Daniels
UP IN THE AIR, Jason Reitman

I would love to see Quentin Tarantino walk away with the Oscar for the tour de force that is “Inglourious Basterds”. He won’t. Instead it is going to be between Cameron and Bigelow, which is interesting since the pair of the use to be married. I’m pretty sure these circumstances don’t happen too often – even for Hollywood. …And the winner is… Kathryn Bigelow for “The Hurt Locker”.

Best Visual Effects:

AVATAR, Joe Letteri, Stephen Rosenbaum, Richard Baneham & Andrew R Jones
DISTRICT 9, Dan Kaufman, Peter Muyzers, Robert Habros & Matt Aitken
STAR TREK, Roger Guyett, Russell Earl, Paul Kavanagh & Burt Dalton

…And the winner is… “AVATAR”. If it does not then something is terribly awry in Mudville. This film completely raised the bar for all films to come. Seriously.

Best Writing (Adapted Screenplay):

DISTRICT 9, Neill Blomkamp & Terri Tatchell
AN EDUCATION, Nick Hornby
IN THE LOOP, Jesse Armstrong, Simon Blackwell, Armando Iannucci & Tony Roche
PRECIOUS, Geoffrey Fletcher
UP IN THE AIR, Jason Reitman & Sheldon Turner

I would love to see “District 9” take the honors but they won’t. …And the winner is: “Up in the Air”. It’s just how the Academy thinks.

Best Writing (Original Screenplay):

THE HURT LOCKER, Mark Boal
INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS, Quentin Tarantino
THE MESSENGER, Alessandro Camon & Oren Moverman
A SERIOUS MAN, Joel & Ethan Coen
UP, Screenplay by Bob Peterson, Pete Docter. Story by Pete Docter, Bob Peterson, Tom McCarthy

“Up” is pure brilliance but I would LOVE to see “Inglorious Basterds” win this category. Quentin Tarantino has a knack for writing some of the best dialogue in the business along with some of the finest storytelling around today. It should go to him. It won’t. The Academy will tell themselves that he has already won for “Pulp Fiction” and they will give the Oscar to… “The Hurt Locker”.

So there it is; 9 of my favorite categories. Let’s see who breaks even Oscar or Evil Chicken. If Oscar gets more than yours truly in these categories then he has won. I win if the converse is true. Also, I am dead serious about Christoph Waltz winning the Best Supporting Actor category. If he does not win, quite frankly, then the Oscars are just not worth covering on this blog anymore. His performance is that good.

And that, Gentle Reader, “That’s a BINGO!” (go rent “Inglorious Basterds”).

No Return to the Moon (at least by the United States)

I was only an infant when man first set foot on the moon. I have no memories of that moment in history when everything became possible and science fiction became science. I have taught about that moment in history and how it inspired the world to reach for bigger and better things. How many different advances were made and how many jobs and careers had been launched right along with those Apollo missions. I remember telling my class that there were plans afoot to return to the moon and that they could expect to see this happen within the next 8 – 10 years baring any drastic cuts to NASA.

Well, here are the drastic cuts: http://www.computerworld.com/s/article/9150040/White_House_killing_NASA_s_moon_mission_reports_say. That nixes the moon and the Space Shuttle. As for Mars – who knows?

I did pass along my excitement at the notion that private companies would now become major players in space travel. I discussed the X-Prize and Space Ship One and Virgin Galactic and Sir Richard Branson and the VSS Enterprise and how a real and true revolution was going to be taking place in their lifetime. I just didn’t know that the revolution would be happening as quickly as it will be. When the Space Shuttle is done and over and mothballed our government expects private enterprise to take up the slack. This is, at once, a good thing (mostly) and a bad thing. Private industry will open up the market much wider than NASA ever could hope to. Need a satellite placed in orbit? Virgin Galactic could do that in between passenger trips. How about repairs to the Hubble telescope? Sir Richard could probably put those repairmen just where they need to be. I wonder, however, what corporate entity is going to represent the United States on the International Space Station? The hatch opens and the contingent from the United States are all wearing Red Bull or Monster Energy Drinks or Viagra tee shirts and hats. As they say in some circles, “That’s the weak sauce.” And, Gentle Reader, THAT is the weak sauce.

If I could go back in time I would have told my class that Wall Street investment bankers, American car manufacturers and credit card company bailouts would prove to be more important than their futures. I would have told them that they should really consider learning Japanese or Chinese if they wanted to be in on the lion’s share of technological advancement in air and space technologies. Oh sure, I would have encouraged them in math and science and foster an interest in the possibilities; I would have just recalculated their aspirations. Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “The future belongs to those who believe in the power of their dreams.” I would have set those dreams a little lower. Really, where do I think I am, Tokyo – Hong Kong?

Oh, if I could but turn back the clock.

Look, I understand. It is just not that important to us here in the States. Why would it be? We have it all. We have been there and done that. Exploration, advancement, and goals for the future - our overtaxed attention spans just can’t handle that amount of pressure. Our standards in education have sealed the deal. We are a service society. We do not produce. Those days are gone. Production is now in the hands of those who have put it at a premium, those who invested in their futures by training the next generation to actually want to be engineers. Humanity will return to the moon. It is as sure as the tides. Here in the United States of America - well, we’ll be able to watch it happen on our flat screens. I just hope that they don’t have to preempt “American Idol” to do so. Our sensibilities just couldn’t take it.

Note from the author… While writing this blog I encountered another little article from BBC. It is about how some states (currently California) are attempting to protect the Apollo 11 landing site from other countries that have active plans to go to the moon… unlike us: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/8488783.stm.

The iPad Tablet

I am a Star Trek fan. In Star Trek The Next Generation, on board Captain Picard’s Enterprise (NCC-1701-D, mind you) the crew had access to all shipboard computer systems via a device called a PADD or “Personal Access Display Device”. Well, that little piece of tech just became real. This week Steve Jobs presented the world with the iPad Tablet. This is the direction that computer and technology market will be heading; it is another step forward and (please excuse the next Star Trek reference) only logical.

“So, what does it do?”

Well, it should be a blend everything that your laptop does with everything that an iPod Touch or even an iPhone does. Throw in all that an Amazon Kindle and your Netflix account can bring you and you would have quite the device. Here’s what Wikipedia has to say about it: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/IPad.

“It can do all that?”

I don’t know. This is the first generation of the next phase in computer and technology so it is hard to pin such hopes and aspirations on the brand new, not even out of the box device such as this. I have as many questions as you do; fortunately Wired’s Gadgetlab has some excellent coverage on this little gem that may be able to answer some of the questions that we may have: http://www.wired.com/gadgetlab/apple-tablet-full-coverage/.

“Next phase computer device?”

Seriously. My, you are asking quite a few questions this morning, Gentle Reader but that is fine with me – we’ll learn together. The iPad Tablet is another step towards the future – sure there are no flying cars or jet packs but now you no longer need a paperboy since your copy of the paper is downloaded to your phone every morning. Of course your schedule and planner is now electronic as well. Do you have a question? Bring up Wikipedia or Google or Clusty. Need directions? Plug ‘em in and go. Need to study or read a technical journal for work? Do so. Could you use some tunes or perhaps you want to take in a movie or kick back with a good book to read? Make it so. The interface and portability of such a device is what makes it the step forward that it will prove to be. And these are just the applications off the top of my head. If you think about it doctors in hospitals could electronically maintain a file on each of their patients. “Mr. Smith,” the doctor said pressing a button on his iPad / PADD, “Here is the x-ray of your spleen. It looks like it’s healing nicely since the elephant stampede.”

Silly? Yes. The future? Undoubtedly. Before I make the jump to such a device a few generations are going to have to happen; also, the company’s logo, at least on my device, will not be Apple. Nothing against them, it’s just that I’m a dyed in the wool PC guy and I am very interested in what the Windows version of a very similar and slightly more advanced PADD would roll. Still you can’t take anything away from Apple or Jobs for that matter. They consistently produce technology that the masses want and push the entire industry and, dare I say, the world on towards the future.

That’s progress, Gentle Reader. That’s progress.

National Geographic turns 122

I’ve been sick. Nasty, snotty, congested, sore throated, sick. I have only recently taken up the cause of my friend and ally the internet and even then it is through the haze of antibiotics and a variety of homemade soups that I have been consuming for nourishment and to abate dehydration. In my most recent travels Wired had a great article on how today (1/27/10) is the birthday of one of the absolute best magazines in the whole world; National Geographic. Here is their article: http://www.wired.com/thisdayintech/2010/01/0127national-geographic-society-founded.

Dun, dun, da, Dah da. Dun, da, dun, dah, dun, da, dun, da, da, – bum, bum.

Great theme song. Even reading it you want to go out and explore the world around you. The National Geographic Society has always put me in the mind of those English Huntsman clubs where there are people sitting around tables playing cards, trading stories, sipping brandy and smoking pipes full of Turkish tobacco. There are the heads of many different “taken” man-eating animals on the walls. There are globes and maps and books and there is an heir of adventure just under the surface. Phileas Fogg could step around the corner and say something preposterous like he could circumnavigate the globe in exactly 80 days or, perhaps, Allan Quatermain would regale the room with stories of that lost city of gold that he discovered.

Romantic stuff. The truth of the matter is The National Geographic Society actually delivers. Fogg and Quartermain, if they were not fictional characters, would be members of the National Geographic Society. According to my favorite second brain, Wikipedia the National Geographic Society is “headquartered in Washington, D.C. in the United States, is one of the largest non-profit scientific and educational institutions in the world. Its interests include geography, archaeology and natural science, the promotion of environmental and historical conservation, and the study of world culture and history.” For the last 122 years they have done a pretty good job exploring the distant corners of our home. The articles and the photojournalism are stunning and have captured the imagination of generations and, after all these years, generations are exactly what we are talking about here; there are currently about 8.5 million members.

So Happy Birthday National Geographic! Fogg and Quartermain would be proud.

Blue Ray Dossier 4.0

There are some great films out there on Blu-ray. I wish I had more time to see them. Instead I look for quality instead of quantity. I rate Blu-ray films on a two-tier basis; first and foremost is the story and secondly is the shear jaw dropping, stop the viewer in their tracks Blu-ray visuals. Each tier is rated on a sliding 5 star rating; the more stars the better. There we go. That’s it. Here’s what I’ve been watching.

District 9: 4.5 Stars / 4.5 Stars. This is a gem of a film. It is not pretty in its depiction of the human race – just accurate. If this fantastic situation were to present itself as a reality, this is how it would play out. Here is what I had to say about it in the theaters: http://evilchickenscratch.blogspot.com/2009/08/on-district-9.html and I still stand behind it now.

Pride and Prejudice (A&E): 5 Stars / 3.5 Stars. This was under the Christmas tree this year. It was addressed to my wife, “Mother Hen” but in all actuality it really is for both of us. Adaptations of Jane Austin’s story of Victorian romance have been done scores of times on film in various incarnations. This 6 hour, A&E version is where it was done correctly. Every year we watch it together. We have had it on VHS, DVD, and now Blu-ray. It is simply a timeless story.

9: 3.5 Stars / 4 Stars. I love Tim Burton and he loved the short film, “9” directed by Shane Acker, which is also included on the Blu-ray disc. Mark Twain (or at least I’m giving him the credit) once said, “A novel is a short story… padded.” The same can be said for this film. The short is direct and lets the viewer fill in the blanks while the movie takes away this opportunity, which in a strange way detracts from the whole. This is not to say that it is a bad film; it is watch-able and the details of the computer animations are striking on Blu-ray. Rent it. Let me know what you think.

Inglorious Basterds: 5 Stars / 4.5 Stars. For my money this is one of the BEST Quentin Tarantino films I have ever seen. That is saying something. From the pages of Tarantino’s script to the way that the cast delivers in each and every performance this sizzles; the dialogue, the acting are just superb. Brad Pitt’s performance as Lt. Aldo Raine is worth the purchase of this Blu-ray alone. Christoph Waltz who plays Hans Landa the “Jew Hunter” should be up for an Oscar on for this one. Seriously. Tarantino has an eye for the camera and he knows how to tell a story. There is an eye for detail in that storytelling. He is a cinema fan and a brilliant filmmaker. If this does not get some Oscar nods then something is wrong with the Academy. This is not in my collection yet but it will be. I keep reading rumors that Q.T. is thinking about a prequel film. I truly hope that this is the case. I’d love to see another go round with the Basterds.

That’s what’s been buttering my popcorn as of late. I am still diggin’ the Blu-ray experience. Even after this, the fourth installment of the Blu-Ray Dossier it has not lost it’s glorious 1080p sparkle.

Coming Soon to the Summer of 2010

Oh the joys of summer. Some crave time in their gardens pulling weeds, some like to spend their time mowing and manicuring their lawns, some like to lay on a beach somewhere and soak in the rays of the sun. Me? What do I love about the summer? It’s movie time, baby; it’s the summer movie season and I like to experience the movies. What can I say? I am a movie geek. It’s what I do. Here are the films that I am looking forward to this coming blockbuster season and a few that are going to be showing up this winter. Whatever the case the multiplex just may be in better place to spend some time in air-conditioned comfort than I thought it would be. I’ll list the movie, it’s release date and why YOU may be interested.

1. Daybreakers – 1/8: There has been a large number of vampire movies hit the market these past few years. From what I’ve read, “Daybreakers” gets it right. You will not see anything that resembles a sparkling vampire here. If you do you are in the wrong theater. The vampires outnumber the humans who are now housed like cattle on blood farms and the supply is running out.
2. The Book of Eli – 1/15: Denzel Washington in a post-apocalyptic tale with Gary Oldman along as the villain? That may be worth a look-see at the multiplex. Denzel has a book that can save humanity Oldman wants it. Mayhem ensues. We shall see…
3. The Wolfman – 2/12: There has always been a soft spot in my heart for this story. Lon Chaney Jr. really delivered in the role in the 1941 version and now Benicio del Toro is the bitten and cursed man. This is one of Stan Winston’s (http://evilchickenscratch.blogspot.com/2008/06/stan-winston.html) last films and the effects truly show how much innovation he created from winning his first Oscar for Makeup and Effects for “An American Werewolf in London”. I hope this one nails the dismount.
4. Percy Jackson and the Olympians: the Lightning Thief – 2/12: I don’t know too much about this one save that Christopher Columbus is directing. Columbus has the power to tell a good story and this looks interesting. The jury is still out if I’ll see this in the theater.
5. Cop Out – 2/26: A buddy cop movie with Tracy Morgan and Bruce Willis that’s directed by Kevin Smith. This will be entertaining. I’d like to see it play out on the big screen but I don’t know if the kids can come yet. I may have to wait to rent it, which is a shame since I’d like to support the project as it comes out so that there is a sequel. The trailer made me giggle like a schoolgirl with the “Knock Knock” scene. We shall see.
6. Alice in Wonderland – 3/5: Of all the movies on this list this is one of the ones that I am looking forward to the most. Tim Burton + Johnny Depp = when can I buy a ticket? Burton creates worlds that I love to visit and Depp can bring them to life. Depp is the Mad Hatter and a 19 year-old Alice (Mia Wasikowska – aka – Ms. Very Hard to Spell) is returning to the place of her childhood adventure; Wonderland. Opening night for me, if not sooner.
7. Clash of the Titans – 3/26: Usually I am not one to be too excited about remakes and “re-imaginations”. In this case I am. Sam Worthington is on a roll with “Terminator Salvation” and “Avatar” under his belt and now he has a chance to deliver as Perseus, slayer of Gorgons, rider of winged horses and Kraken spanker. I remember seeing Ray Harryhausen’s stop motion work on the big screen in the 1981 version and loving every moment. I wonder what his reaction would be to seeing the seamless CGI of the giant scorpions attack would be. Yeah, I’m taking the kids and seeing this one on the big screen.
8. Kick Ass – 4/16: This is based on a comic series that I have never read. Still the trailers that I have seen make it look interesting. It’s about a group of kids who become self-made superheroes. Nicholas Cage is in this too. This summer expect to see a lot from Mr. Cage that is a good thing since when he is in the right role he can make it really happen. He’ll be in “Kick Ass”, “The Season of the Witch” and “The Sorcerer’s Apprentice”; IMDB says that he is working on two other films this year alone. Busy man. I still don’t know if I’ll be seeing this on the big screen yet; we shall see…
9. A Nightmare on Elm Street – 4/30: Well, they’ve gone and done it; they’ve remade one of the movies that gave me a fright as a teen. I never got into Jason and the whole “Friday the 13th” series but Freddy Kruger? Yeah, I was there. Freddy became, in some strange and humorous twist, the guy I started to root for. Yeah, that’s pretty weird but Robert Englund made the character his own by injecting humor into the horror. Perhaps this is the reason that Mr. Robert Englund is not Freddy in this incarnation. That sentence right there should have me miles away from the theater on its own merits alone. But Jackie Earle Haley is in as the new serial killing man of our dreams and this promises to be a return to a scary trip down Elm Street. Haley hit it out of the park as Rorschach in “The Watchmen” and I am very curious to see what he will do with Frederick Kruger.
10. Iron Man 2 – 5/7: For my money “Iron Man” was one of the best comic book adaptations to ever hit the silver screen. There is a lot riding on number II but Marvel seems to be strumming all the right chords these days. Jon Favreau is back in the director’s chair and Robert Downey Jr. is back as Tony Stark. The supporting cast is superb including Samuel L. Jackson as Sgt. Nick Fury, Mickey Rourke as Whiplash, and Don Cheadle as War Machine. This is another of the films that I am really and truly looking forward to. Opening night, no doubt.
11. Robin Hood – 5/14: Ridley Scott and Russell Crowe of “Gladiator” fame are re-teaming to tell one of my favorite tales. I hope that they hit the mark with this particular archer. We shall see.
12. Prince of Persia the Sands of Time – 5/28: This one has a curse to overcome. To date there has never been a decent adaptation of a video game (“Silent Hill” was about the best) to the big screen. Who knows, perhaps this one will stand on it’s own merits with story and spectacle?
13. The A-Team – 6/11: Den Da Da Da, Den Da Da! Oh yes, you know the theme don’t pretend you don’t. This is The A-Team revamp that looks like it will be a lot of fun. Liam Neeson is Hannibal, Bradley Cooper is Face, Quinton “Rampage” Jackson is B.A. Baracus and Sharlto Copley is Howlin’ Mad Murdock. They are now a group of Iraq war veterans who are framed for a crime that they did not commit. I loved the TV show and I have high hopes that I’ll do the same with the movie.
14. Toy Story 3 – 6/18: I love Pixar. They are on a list of companies that I would love to work for as one of their writers. They put magic and heart into everything that I have seen them do. With “Toy Story 3” they are returning to some of the first characters that made the company a household name. It will be in 3D too. My family and I are so there opening day I can already taste the popcorn.
15. Jonah Hex – 6/18: Cowboys and Zombies? Based off of the comic series? Sounds like fun but the release date is going to really sack the box office out of this one. They should hold it for October and Halloween instead of going up against Pixar. You already know which theater I’ll be sitting in on the 18th.
16. The Last Airbender – 7/2: For those of you who understand that this movie should have been called “Avatar – The Last Airbender”, take heart Aang and company are hitting the big screen too. M. Night Shymalan is looking to make his way out of a slump. I have a sneaky suspicion this is the movie that will do it for him. The teaser trailer is wonderful. If you have seen any of the Nickelodeon series then you know how good the storytelling and action can be. If you have not and if Mr. Shymalan has done what I think he has then you are in for a treat.
17. Predators – 7/7: This has the chance of being more than expected. The cast is interesting for a re-visitation to the world of all things Predator. I enjoyed the first Predator movie for what it was. This one brings along a pretty impressive cast including Adrien Brody, Laurence Fishburne, Topher Grace and Danny Trejo. Who knows, it might be worth a look-see.

And then there’s August. For all intents and purposes the major studios have already fired their big guns. Still one never knows. Then there are the possible dark horses in the race. ...Ah the quest for decent storytelling.

See you at the multiplex!

The Monster Factory

This past Saturday my family and I watched a Champion defend his title in the Squared Circle at The Monster Factory in Bellmawr, NJ. I was hoarse after the show from cheering for the good guys and booing the bad guys and egging on the crowd and just plain laughing. I have not had such a cathartic and liberating experience in a long time. Seriously. At the Monster Factory one is encouraged to yell, to laugh, to shamelessly have a good time; well, Gentle Reader, I have no shame.

Now not to give those who hold the opinion that I am about to disclose to you any ammunition but there are those who say that Professional Wrestling is fake. I cannot comment on such baseless accusations but I can say that I know the Champ who successfully defended his title on a personal level and he is a very real and genuine, stand up young man. Come to think of it I know one of the referees too and the same can be said for him. Although I have not been to a wrestling match in a LOT of years the experience was like greeting an old friend once more and picking up exactly where the two of you left off.

When I was a kid my family and I loved to watch professional wrestling. Growing up in South Jersey, this was a given. Hey, what can I say, back in the seventies the drive-in and the custard stand were the high watermarks for culture. I’m from an incredibly small town that you will miss on your way to Wildwood if you happen to blink as you drive through it called, Green Creek. I love it and, to no small degree, miss it to this very day.

But enough of that; we are talking wrestling. I remember when my family made our very first foray into the higher tiers of cable television to get a channel named “Prism” just so we could watch live WWF (now WWE I think) wrestling matches from the Spectrum in Philly. This was pretty amazing since Gorilla Monsoon himself would call the matches. It was great stuff. We would invite people over just for the matches. Bob Backland, Andre the Giant, Superfly Snooka, Mr. Fuji, the Iron Sheik, and some new guy named The Incredible Hulk Hogan all played across that small television. I was still the remote control (“Hey change the channel!”) but the TV set was now in color. Wonders truly never cease.

I remember my father taking us to see The Polish Power – Ivan Putski Vs. George “The Animal” Steel wrestle at the Wildwood Convention Center. Bliss. I still remember my mother yelling at the referee, Dick Whirly that she was “Going to get him fired!” She really got into it. In Mom’s defense, just how could Mr. Whirly be so completely and utterly oblivious to the evils of George “The Animal” Steel’s green tongue and term buckle gnawing? Couldn’t he see the horrible miscarriages of justice this monster known as “The Animal” was dealing out to our hero? My Dad and I would watch my Mom and we got as much entertainment from observing her than some of the matches.

And then the world changed. We moved to Vineland, I did a little growing and professional wrestling was not as important as it once was in my family. And so it goes. It was not until this past weekend when I took MY family to see the Professional Wrestling matches at The Monster Factory in Bellmawr, NJ that the dry spell came to an end. It is a warehouse (literally and figuratively) where future pro wrestlers are made. There are matches held every month for $10.00 a head and, believe me, it is worth every penny. There are a lot of athletics; ability and training that go into an event such as this; plus the crowd is fun to watch and be a part of. If you have never been or if you have not been in a long while do yourself a favor and check out what’s going on at The Monster Factory. Here’s their website: http://www.monsterfactory.com/. It does not have a schedule for when the next bouts are but there is a phone number (856-933-0500).

I’ll be there to root for the Middle Weight Regional Champion as he defends his title and for a certain talented referee at the next extravaganza. Gentle Reader, you should consider it too. I promise we will have a blast and that’s one you can take to the mattress.

UPDATE: here is a much better website for the Old Time Wrestling league: http://oldtimewrestling.net/. There are matches every Saturday at 2:00 at The Monster Factory. The OTW was a blast but don’t take my word for it, check it out for yourself.

Memorandum 2009

Not to sound too morose at the beginning of 2010, but 2009 was a tough year for people who made their living somewhere in the spotlight. I remember the big ones such as Farah Faucet, James Witmore, Karl Malden & Patrick Swayze but was saddened to hear of Roy Disney’s passing and then there were the surprises that just floored me. When did Michael Jackson die? I didn’t see anything about it in the news.

...Sorry.

Click here: http://abclocal.go.com/wpvi/video?id=7196799 for Channel 6 WPVI’s segment on those who are no longer with us here at the beginning of the second decade of the twenty-first century. I apologize for the advertisement that they force you to watch and for the content on this, the first blog of the New Year.

Here’s hopin’ that 2010 proves to be a better time to be a celebrity and a better time for real everyday folks like us, too.

Happy New Year, Gentle Reader!

Enter 2010

What can one say about the first decade of the twenty-first century that has not already been said? The only thing that I can come up with at such short notice is Happy New Year, Gentle Reader. It’s time for another trip around the sun!

“God bless us, everyone.” – T. Tim

Christmas 2009

Let me go on the record and say the best Christmas Present that I got this year has got to be the Star Trek, Phaser Type-1 unit Hallmark ornament with three settings. I love this thing. It’s got a cool trigger mechanism and a setting dial for beam intensity. I’ve been carrying this death-ray with me wherever I go. One never knows when there will be an attack from either the Klingon or Romulan Empires. It’s wonderful. I can now annoy my kids in a variety of new and exciting ways.

“Dad, my food is cold.”

“No problem, honey.”

ZAP!

Man, I love that thing.

Merry Post Christmas, Gentle Reader. I hope that you and yours have a wonderful Christmas season and a Happy New Year!

AVATAR the Promise of IMAX has been Fulfilled

We had tickets to see AVATAR in IMAX 3D in Atlantic City yesterday at 3:15 PM. Then the snow came. Not just snow but SNOW and record breaking SNOW at that. What to do – What to do? A Recon mission – that’s what! I took the ole SUV out onto the roads, bolstered by the driving lesson that Chick 1.0 and I did earlier in the day, and took a gander at what we may be facing on our journey. Such an expedition could either end wonderfully or very, very badly. What to do – What to do?

We went.

I’m glad we did.

Much has been said about AVATAR and I don’t wish to repackage too much of all the information that is out there concerning this film since you have probably already heard it. Just know that James Cameron took off 12 years between projects, that he wrote the script for this film 15 years ago and that he had to invent the technology (the stereoscopic 3D camera) to bring it all to life. It should also be known that his new film AVATAR was worth the wait.

There are moments when you know that everything has changed. Moments when you understand the world that you are familiar with has moved on and there can be no going back. Cinematically speaking those who were in attendance for “The Jazz Singer” must have been amazed when the actors on the screen actually started to talk & sing. And the age of the silent film came to a close. Members of the audience for “The Adoptive Child” (1911) or for “The Wizard of Oz” (1939) must have been in a state of awe at seeing color films come to pass via Kinemacolor and Technicolor. And the chapter on black and white film passed on. There have been some amazing things happen in the cinema concerning special effects; not the least of which are motion capture technology, wirework, and Computer Generated Graphics. “Lord of the Rings – The Return of the King” won every Oscar imaginable for it’s storytelling. It is an amazing powerhouse trilogy and wonderful story that Peter Jackson put together, no doubt but I wonder if he would have opted for Cameron’s Stereoscopic 3D IMAX camera after seeing AVATAR.

AVATAR is a “game changer”. I understand that not every theater is IMAX but when you see this film in its natural setting you glimpse the future. I am not kidding. Yes you can see it in a regular movie theater. You could spend the extra bucks to see it in 3D or you could spend $15.00 (at the ticket booth) and see it in IMAX, the way that it was intended to be seen. I will not bother to give you my synopsis; just know that the story is solid and you will be taken someplace that you have never been to before.

Go.

See.

You will not be disappointed.

I am a huge fan of Edgar Rice Burroughs “John Carter from Mars” books and I am seriously geeking out at the fact that the mighty Pixar (a company that I would LOVE to work for) is going to be making a foray into live action by bringing those books to life on the big screen. After seeing AVATAR, they have their work cut out for them. I believe this is what George Lucas was shooting for when he did Episodes I - III of the Star Wars Prequel Trilogy. Cameron found the lightning that escaped from the bottle.

Seriously.

I hear that Cameron’s next project will be working on part two of his AVATAR trilogy. I cannot wait to see what he has up his sleeve for the next two installments. This film cost a LOT of money to make – and it was worth every single penny. Believe the hype.

See you at the IMAX, Gentle Reader.

Sad Songs Say So Much

All right, let me just get to the point; there are songs out there that will make me cry; do you know what I mean? They are out there. Waiting to attack. You will not see them coming but they will hit you at the most unsuspecting times. You may be driving or in line at Target or around your coffee pot at work and BANG there it is. One of those songs that just goes for the sappy gland and makes it gush.

“Evil Chicken, what are you talking about?”

What am I talking about? Gentle Reader today it happened to me. I was getting a cup of coffee in the break room and that song about that little kid buying his mother those blasted shoes for Christmas but he has to hurry because he wants her to have them if she goes to see Jesus tonight! Now I have heard the song before, in fact I believe that it’s about three of four years old but BANG there is was and then BOOM the children’s let’s sing to our dying mother chorus kicks in and I run blubbering from the room. If I was in line at Target or Wal-Mart I would have shouted, “I’ll buy the shoes – just get me to aisle 12! JUST PLEASE STOP SINGING!”

This has happened to me before. I was at a Billy Joel concert, I think it was “The River” tour and he debuted a song called, “Good Night My Angel”. I had never heard this song before but the chords and the lyrics killed me. It’s about a father singing a lullaby to his daughter who is asking about death and how their love will live forever. It’s this touching, beautiful piece of music that should NEVER EVER be played over the airwaves for the simple reason that if I hear it while driving I’m going to be a sniveling, four-lane freeway crossing mess and Gentle Reader that’s a dangerous situation.

Oh and there are others too, like Dan Fogelberg’s “Leader of the Band” and Bob Carlisle’s “Butterfly Kisses”. These songs will reduce me to a puddle of goo. These sad songs are out there on the airwaves, CD collections and MP3 players of the world. Be careful out there and remember where you heard your warning.

…Gentle Reader, there ought to be a law.

There’s No Place Like Home

Here at Rancho del Evil Chicken we LOVE being connected. That is we love our internet flowing freely and abundantly and in that spirit we have done our share of “Home Page” research. We have four (sometimes five) users in the Ole’ Chicken Coop. One uses Action News www.6abc.com, two use www.comcast.net as their home page and I currently use www.yahoo.com. Well, Gentle Reader, I am currently feeling a wanderlust for another Home Page. It’s not that I don’t like the pictures or the coverage but Yahoo has just changed things up so that I now have to click onto a story twice to read it completely and that just complicates my whole instant gratification zeitgeist. I think it’s time to move on.

I like Channel 6 Action News in the Philadelphia area but I think their website homepage stinks on ice. Do NOT have annoying pop up commercials that can get around my security and firewall settings. It is disconcerting when one is trying to read the news and an annoying actor pops up at the bottom of the screen and starts yammering on how he is saving so much on his new car. Sorry. Inexcusable. NEXT!

Comcast has a decent home page option but it goes straight to videos instead of a news feed. That’s a check in the minus column. I think that this will change once the dust settles from the recent Comcast NBC acquisition; perhaps then it will rock my world. Currently the world rocking takes some thoughtful clicking to get into. NEXT!

The iGoogle homepage option (just do a search). Google gets a lot of flack for being THE go to search engine for just about EVERYTHING in the known universe. They are increasing their grip on information – not that that is a bad thing, it’s just that Google is an EMPIRE. On the other hand, if not Google then who – the government? Who knows? The fact is they are good at what they do… which is turning into everything from common net searches to genetic screenings; from Google Earth (which is simply amazing BTW) to the blog that you are reading right now. Sure all of the searches and emails that you send are saved in a huge central processing area of Google cyberspace but hey, Google is so gosh darn convenient. When confronted with accusations of being too invasive Google has said, “Trust Us.” Hey, you can’t argue with logic like that!

I’m going with iGoogle for the time being. Yahoo and I have had a long run of things but it’s time for us both to move on. The changes to their news feed sealed the deal for me. Yup, I’m going with iGoogle because security is an illusion these days and my instant gratifications needs are met; well… instantly. I’ll investigate Comcast / NBC once they get their collective eggs in the same basket. When that will be nobody knows.

I blog with Google (Blogger - who do a great job at what they do BTW) and, in a few keystrokes, it will become my homepage too. How about YOU Gentle Reader? Where do you call home?

The Zombie Vaccine

I love WIRED Magazine. If you are or have ever thought of stepping over the line and becoming a card carrying GEEK (like yours truly) then the publication is required reading. It is humorous and insightful and it occupies itself with tech and science for the geek masses. It’s a great read. Their website is a daily stop for me. There are some absolutely wonderful blogs there including “Geek Dad”, “Underwire” and “Danger Room”. Anyhow, while perusing the “Danger Room” blog I came across an interesting article by Katie Drummond entitled, “Pentagon: Zombie Pigs First, Then Hibernating Soldiers”.

That got my attention.

As it turns out a team from Texas A&M has developed a “zombie vaccine” which is designed to save peoples lives after bodily trauma by stopping the heart (which stops people from bleeding out) and safely shutting down the brain (which stops “brain death”). The team is going to be moving to trials in pigs, which have very similar vascular system to ours (humans, that is) and, ultimately, on to humans. I’m not doing the story any justice by paraphrasing it so here is the link for you to check out for yourself: http://www.wired.com/dangerroom/2009/12/pentagon-zombie-pigs-first-then-hibernating-gis/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+wired%2Findex+%28Wired%3A+Index+3+%28Top+Stories+2%29%29&utm_content=Google+Feedfetcher.

The potential military and civilian applications for this procedure are mind blowing. That “golden hour” between injury and treatment could be extended tenfold via suspended animation. There is no such thing as science fiction anymore. As Paul Simon once sang, “These are the days of miracle and wonder…” I believe that he was onto something there.

Iron Man 2

“Iron Man 2” will be hitting theaters on May 7, 2010. It will feature characters such as Whiplash (portrayed by Mickey Rourke), War Machine (the gray armored suit with the chain gun on the shoulder, played by Don Cheadle as Rhodes) and Nick Fury (Mr. Samuel L. Jackson). Robert Downey Jr. is reprising his role as Tony Stark the brilliant inventor, billionaire industrialist / weapons manufacturer who is all too human behind that iron mask. This is great stuff and it’s a great time to be a geek.

Man, I can’t wait. I’m so there opening night… Guaranteed.

Who’s With Me?!

Blue-Ray Dossier - Volume 3.0

This is a busy time of year for yours truly. November is National Novel Writing Month, the holidays are right around the corner, I’m collaborating with a friend of mine on a screenplay, I’m still blogging, and then there are all of those wonderful Blu-ray movies that keep popping up.

Gentle Reader, all thought there are shenanigans aplenty, I humbly want you to know that I am still fighting the good fight; I’m still watching movies – Blu-ray movies that is. I rate movies on a one – five star, two round system; round one is all about the story and round two is all about the Blu-ray. The more stars the better. Here’s what has been on the menu…

“Beetlejuice” 4 Stars / 3.5 Stars. I love Tim Burton. Say what you will but the man has a unique vision when it comes to creating worlds on film. He has an eye for telling stories. Beetlejuice is no different. What’s not to like about this Tim Burton film about a Bio-Exorcist (a ghost who gets rid of the living for you)? You have a recently deceased, naive couple that is trying to rid themselves of the obnoxious new owners of their home. They can’t do the job themselves and when the regular lines of bureaucracy in the afterlife fail them they call on Beetlejuice adeptly played by Michael Keaton. Brilliant stuff. You will giggle. The Blu-ray aspect is not as good as it could have been but I believe it is only a question of technology. “Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland” is being released in 2010 and I have no doubt that when that hits Blu-ray my jaw will drop. Beetlejuice is retrofitted but worth your time.

“Monsters Vs. Aliens” 3 Stars / 4 Stars. This is a cute movie. Reese Witherspoon voices Susan, a woman whom on her wedding day becomes the 50 Foot Woman. She is captured by the government and then is united with a group of monsters that have been hidden away since the fifties. It’s light, it’s entertaining and the kids loved it. There you go. The Blu-ray factor is better. Watching the Golden Gate Bridge get destroyed was a feast for the eyes. When the President of the United States is attacked by the giant robot the detail was gorgeous. This was worth the rental and you may want to pick up a copy if you have little ones.

“Up” 5 Stars / 5 Stars. I do not think that I have ever seen a better picture about the human grieving process than “Up”. There is a lot of symbolism in this one. Pixar can do no wrong. Be warned, this is a tearjerker that has mortality and adventure at its heart. You will be moved. The wizards at Pixar are able to accomplish more with a well-told, heartfelt story via computer animation than a lot of flesh and blood directors and actors can on film. It is brilliant storytelling and yes, I cried. The joy of this film is that Pixar never once treats you, the viewer, like an idiot by making the characters anything less than flesh and blood. Simply brilliant. The Blu-ray factor will knock your socks off. The balloons and the detail on the Tapui mountain tops… spectacular. This is not in my collection yet but it will be.

“King Kong the Extended Edition” 4.5 Stars / 5 Stars. Peter Jackson is one of my favorite guys to watch in the business. Not only is he a great storyteller but also he is a fan. This is at once an homage and a digital upgrade to one of my all time favorites, 1933’s RKO Pictures, “King Kong”. This film is a love letter to the original and Jackson delivers. He used some of the actors from his Lord of the Rings trilogy so you may see one or two familiar faces along the way including Andy Serkis (Golem from the Lord of the Rings Trilogy) who plays Lumpy the cook and does the motion capture work for King Kong himself. The trouble with doing a remake of a legend is that everyone already knows how it ends. Still this one is worth your time just for the action that takes place on Skull Island alone. The Blu-ray factor is mesmerizing. Your jaw will drop. The detail is startling. If you are a fan of Kong you probably already own this one. If you are not the Extended Edition (emphasis on the ‘Extended’ at over 3 hours and 20 minutes) is most certainly worth your time.

“G.I. Joe” 2.5 Stars / 3 Stars. I went into this one prejudiced. I went in thinking preconceived and assumed bad things about the movie, which is not entirely too fair. I should approach unseen movies / films with an open mind instead of being closed off to the possibility that I may actually like a project and that, perhaps, it can stand on it’s own merit. I should aspire to be a better Evil Chicken. What can I say? I was wrong to be so heavy handed. It was better than I thought it was going to be. They took a toy line and cartoon from the eighties (they ignored the G.I. Joe that I grew up with minus a “Kung Fu Grip” nod) and put it on the big screen with aplomb. This being said, “G.I. Joe” is not Shakespeare or Spielberg – It’s “G.I. Joe”. Don’t go into this movie thinking it’s going to be a film and you’ll have a good time. I liked the

“Star Trek” 4.5 Stars / 4.5 Stars. J.J. Abrams and the new crew of the Enterprise deliver BIG TIME on this resetting of a cultural and science fiction behemoth, Star Trek. I am a fan so it was important to remain as fair and balanced as possible. Mr. Abrams and company know what they are doing. This crew from a universe just next to ours take an over 40 year cannon of stories and flip it on it’s pointy ear. That is no easy feat. What’s old is new once more and sacred cows are the first things to be slaughtered. Anything goes in this new universe. Kirk and Spock hate each other, a major federation planet implodes and Captain Pike does not BEEP! Oh, it is a good time to jump on board the Enterprise. Speaking of the Enterprise; she looks beautiful in Blu-ray. There is a special section on disc two where you can investigate the Enterprise. Do so. I have always loved the design of this vessel and J.J.’s starship is a wonder to behold unto itself. I can’t wait to boldly go where no other Star Trek has gone before… back to the beginning – this is not wrote, it’s new and anything can happen. I own this one and you should too.

So there you have it, Gentle Reader, Volume III of the Blu-Ray Dossier. I’ll see you in line at Blockbuster!

How Free Enterprise Will Save the Future of Space Exploration

We were going back to the moon in 2020. I taught a summer camp class on “Star Trek” this past summer at my local Community College. The meat and potatoes of my class was not only Star Trek, but also a history of space exploration, where we are and where we, humanity, may be heading in the next handful of years. I told my class about the Ares and Orion programs from NASA where were going to be replacing the Space Shuttle and that, if the funding was there, humanity would be returning to the moon. Well, funding will be going to other places for now. Chances are NASA will not be able to afford the trip.

Abstract ideals such as exploration are not enough for your Average Joe to hang his hat on and get behind. No. Exploration has to have purpose, has to be a means to an end; it has to turn a profit. Historically, this has always been the case. It is, therefore, not proper for me to throw too many stones towards the bureaucrats.

So just how does one make exploration a profitable venture? Well, you’ve got to give ‘em the old razzle-dazzle. You have to captivate the senses of said Average Joe and you have to show a profit at the end of the day; a reason for reason, so to speak. Before he died, Arthur C. Clarke postulated that orbital platforms could be tethered to the earth like great swinging stones. Why? These tethered orbital platforms would have access for experimentation and tourist dollars but the best benefits would be to communication and to energy production since as this orbital platform is cutting its way through the ionosphere it is producing electricity which, in turn, would be completely green and, as long as the orbital platform remains tethered to the earth, inexhaustible. Think of how many jobs such platforms would provide for Average Joe’s around the world. Speaking of energy and jobs how about orbital solar arrays? Unfiltered sunlight, unspoiled by the earth’s atmosphere, channeled directly to your outlet from Mother Nature herself. Money made.

I don’t have the capitol to attempt either of these options but someone out there does. Don’t believe me? Well, back in my Star Trek class I also told my students about Virgin Galactic and how Sir Richard Branson was going to be putting the future of space travel into the hands of entrepreneurs instead of bureaucrats. This December (2009) the VSS Enterprise is going to be making history. Based on the technology from Space Ship One (which won the X-Prize and is now hanging in the Smithsonian’s National Air and Space Museum between the X-1 and the Spirit of St. Louis) it will usher in a new era. Space flight is now within the Average Joe’s hands. Granted that Average Joe will have to pay about 200 K for a ticket but let it be known, that is a LOT cheaper than NASA, not only that but this technology is real; it has happened and, come December, it will be happening on a regular basis. Here is Virgin Galactic’s computer generated promo of what is about to happen – NEXT MONTH: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IytjSl6voP0. New Mexico is now the home to the world’s first Spaceport. Seriously.

Free enterprise will save space exploration. It is a matter of time and a matter of profit. We were going back to the moon in 2020. I do not believe that NASA can do it. With the world the way it is unprofitable exploration is not at a premium. If you can make a dollar, yen or rupee that mindset will change in a New York minute. Therefore, I say give Sir Richard Branson a shot; I believe he will have us to the moon much sooner and at a fraction of the cost that the bureaucrats are projecting.

If I could afford it, I’d go aboard the VSS Enterprise inaugural flight. What about you, Gentle Reader?

Evil Chicken Supports Uncle Floyd

I do not usually talk politics here on Chicken Scratch. I subscribe to the original Greek breakdown of the word; poly meaning many and ticks meaning blood sucking creatures. Obi Wan Kenobi while talking to Anakin Skywalker about then Senator Amidala said, “Anakin, she is a politician and not to be trusted.” Episodes I, II & III are pretty underwhelming but that line has always rang true. Politicians are not to be trusted. The political players are all the same. Do you know what happens on November 4, the day after Election Day? Absolutely nothing. The commercials and obnoxious mailings come to a halt, mercifully; and all of the promises during the campaign (from either side mind you) remain just that – promises.

These, however, are different times and here in New Jersey I believe that it is time for a real change. That is why I am officially endorsing Uncle Floyd Vivino for Governor. Check it all out here: http://gardenstatejubilee.com/ for the gory details.

That’s right, I’m voting for Uncle Floyd!

“Oh, you are throwing your vote away.” You may say.

No, Gentle Reader, I am participating in a democracy. I am making my voice of dissatisfaction heard. I have my reasons that I don’t want either of the big two in the office so I am casting my vote for a true New Jersey native, a man who has made me laugh and entertained me from the time that I was but a child; Uncle Floyd.

Go out and vote today. I don’t care how you do vote, just vote (although I am pulling for Uncle Floyd). If you don’t vote then you really don’t have a right to complain when the chuckleheads do something that you don’t like.

See you at the polls.

GO UNCLE FLOYD!