We Need a Social Network Declaration of Independence

No.  Really.  We do.

In 'Part I' of this series (We Need a Social Network Constitution: http://evilchickenscratch.blogspot.com/2012/03/we-need-social-network-constitution.html) we looked at the concept how our technology has outpaced our laws & ethics.  In this blog I will give some recent examples of this concept and offer a few, humble suggestions for participating in the Social Media arena.  You don’t have to swing a dead external hard drive too far to find stories concerning personal information in Social Media these days and such stories will only become more intense in the future.  That being said, I only pass this along for your edification and awareness.  You may already know this information, Gentle Reader and, if so, feel free to sit this one out.  Now, if you are concerned over things such as personal information, how that information can be used, and what your rights are here now in the United States of the 21^st century please read on. 

Now please don’t get me wrong.  I love Facebook.  It has become integral.  Social networking is how things are and will continue to be done.  Believe it.  The data and information that is mined is priceless.  It is not just people who want to sell you something who are taking notice of your likes and dislikes these days.  “Social Network Forensics” is a burgeoning field and the federal government is paying very close attention in the name of security.  Here is an article by Todd Piett on “How Law Enforcement Uses Social Media for Forensic Investigation”: http://mashable.com/2012/02/13/social-media-forensics/.  Piett writes, “Of course, as with every technology employed by law enforcement, concerns about “Big Brother” inevitably arise. What is the expectation of privacy around social media? If I tweet “Jack deserves to get a beating for that one,” is that an admission of guilt? What if I only direct message someone as a joke but they retweet it to a broader audience and it incites action? What if I only post it on Facebook for my friends?”  The simple truth of the matter is if you put it out there ~ it’s out there.

Then there are employers who fire employees who refuse to give them their Facebook password: http://www.themarysue.com/michigan-teachers-aide-fired-over-facebook/.  There are also cases where potential employees were asked to give over their Facebook passwords before being hired (http://finance.yahoo.com/news/job-seekers-getting-asked-facebook-080920368.html).  To it’s credit, Facebook has not been taking such threats to it’s very existence lightly and is considering suing employers who demand job applicants passwords: http://arstechnica.com/business/news/2012/03/facebook-says-it-may-sue-employers-who-demand-job-applicants-passwords.ars.  From Jon Brodkin’s ars technica’s article, “As a user, you shouldn’t be forced to share your private information and communications just to get a job," Facebook said. "And as the friend of a user, you shouldn’t have to worry that your private information or communications will be revealed to someone you don’t know and didn’t intend to share with just because that user is looking for a job. That’s why we’ve made it a violation of Facebook’s Statement of Rights and Responsibilities to share or solicit a Facebook password.”

John Brownlee from Cult of Mac wrote an interesting piece about privacy, “This Creepy App Isn’t Just Stalking Women Without Their Knowledge, It’s a Wake-Up Call About Facebook Privacy”.  It can be found right here: http://www.cultofmac.com/157641/this-creepy-app-isnt-just-stalking-women-without-their-knowledge-its-a-wake-up-call-about-facebook-privacy/.  In the article, Mr. Brownlee very clearly illustrates the importance of privacy settings by showing an app that scrapes Facebook & Foursquare for information.  The following is from his article…

“Okay, so here’s Zoe. Most of her information is visible, so I now know her full name. I can see at a glance that she’s single, that she is 24, that she went to Stoneham High School and Bunker Hill Community College, that she likes to travel, that her favorite book is Gone With The Wind and her favorite musician is Tori Amos, and that she’s a liberal. I can see the names of her family and friends. I can see her birthday.”

“All of that is visible on Facebook?” one of the other girls in our group asked.

“More, depending on how your privacy settings are configured! For example, I can also look at Zoe’s pictures.”

I tapped on the photo album, and a collection of hundreds of publicly visible photos loaded up. I quickly browsed them.

“Okay, so it looks like Zoe is my kind of girl. From her photo albums, I can see that she likes to party, and given the number of guys she takes photos with at bars and clubs at night, I can deduce that she’s frisky when she’s drunk, and her favorite drink is a frosty margarita. She appears to have recently been in Rome. Also, since her photo album contains pictures she took at the beach, I now know what Zoe looks like in a bikini… which, as it happens, is pretty damn good.”

My girlfriend scowled at me. I assured her Zoe in a bikini was no comparison, and moved on.

“So now I know everything to know about Zoe. I know where she is. I know what she looks like, both clothed and mostly disrobed. I know her full name, her parents’ full names, her brother’s full name. I know what she likes to drink. I know where she went to school. I know what she likes and dislikes. All I need to do now is go down to the Independent, ask her if she remembers me from Stoneham High, ask her how her brother Mike is doing, buy her a frosty margarita, and start waxing eloquently about that beautiful summer I spent in Roma.”

The App has been effectively killed by Foursquare.  However, Mr. Brownlee also points out, “…Girls Around Me wasn’t actually doing anything wrong. Sure, on the surface, it looks like a hook-up app like Grindr for potential stalkers and date rapists, but all that Girls Around Me is really doing is using public APIs from Google Maps, Facebook and Foursquare and mashing them all up together, so you could see who had checked-in at locations in your area, and learn more about them. Moreover, the girls (and men!) shown in Girls Around Me all had the power to opt out of this information being visible to strangers, but whether out of ignorance, apathy or laziness, they had all neglected to do so. This was all public information. Nothing Girls Around Me does violates any of Apple’s policies.”  Mr. Brownlee makes the point that he works in the technology field and that he always assumed that people knew that the information that they put out into the wild, so to speak, was public information.  And that is frat boy stuff.  What happens when the government takes note of who you are, what you do and whom you follow?  

In an op-ed from Amy Gagran that ran on CNN entitled, “ACLU: Most Police Track Phones’ Locations Without Warrants” (http://www.cnn.com/2012/04/03/tech/mobile/police-phone-tracking-gahran/index.html), Ms. Gagran makes the case that such behavior is not so much the exception to the rule but is fast becoming the norm.  That’s not only cell phone calls but all the texts and emails too.  Ms. Gagran writes, “But don't the police need a warrant for that? It varies by state, but carriers generally say they require a court order to release this data. Regardless of these requirements, however, "Only a tiny minority reported consistently obtaining a warrant and demonstrating probable cause to do so," said the ACLU.

Not surprisingly, the ACLU disapproves of this practice.

"The government should have to obtain a warrant based upon probable cause before tracking cell phones. That is what is necessary to protect Americans' privacy, and it is also what is required under the Constitution," states the ACLU on its site.”

The ACLU is right.  This is now constitutional law we are discussing.  It is widely accepted that we live in a Post 911 world and that security takes precedence over rights that we used to take completely and utterly for granted.  I, for one, believe this to be a frightening practice that pushes us a hair’s breadth away from utter tyranny.  A place where the common communication of citizens is monitored for any danger that you may be to the state and concepts like privacy and dignity are luxuries that we have lost along the way to our glorious future.  Who could pull off such a feat – the monitoring of not only a country but also the whole of the internet worldwide?  Where would one build such a complex?  Well, apparently the NSA could in the desert of Utah.

The cover story in April 2012’s WIRED magazine is by James Bamford, whom I’m pretty sure is currently on several people’s ‘watch lists’, entitled, “The NSA is Building the Country’s Biggest Spy Center (Watch What You Say)”.  You can read Mr. Bamford’s article here: http://www.wired.com/threatlevel/2012/03/ff_nsadatacenter/all/1 and I encourage you to do so.  So how much memory would be needed that could monitor and save Google searches, cell phone calls, texts, tweets, and pictures from the family vacation that were put on Facebook?  Have you ever heard of a yottabyte?   Mr. Bamford writes, “…as a 2007 Department of Defense report puts it, the Pentagon is attempting to expand its worldwide communications network, known as the Global Information Grid, to handle yottabyte (10²⁴ bytes) of data. (A yottabyte is a septillion bytes—so large that no one has yet coined a term for the next higher magnitude.)

It needs that capacity because, according to a recent report by Cisco, global Internet traffic will quadruple from 2010 to 2015, reaching 966 exabytes per year. (A million exabytes equal a yottabyte.) In terms of scale, Eric Schmidt, Google’s former CEO, once estimated that the total of all human knowledge created from the dawn of man to 2003 totaled 5 exabytes. And the data flow shows no sign of slowing. In 2011 more than 2 billion of the world’s 6.9 billion people were connected to the Internet. By 2015, market research firm IDC estimates, there will be 2.7 billion users. Thus, the NSA’s need for a 1-million-square-foot data storehouse. Should the agency ever fill the Utah center with a yottabyte of information, it would be equal to about 500 quintillion (500,000,000,000,000,000,000) pages of text.

The data stored in Bluffdale will naturally go far beyond the world’s billions of public web pages. The NSA is more interested in the so-called invisible web, also known as the deep web or deepnet—data beyond the reach of the public. This includes password-protected data, US and foreign government communications, and noncommercial file-sharing between trusted peers. “The deep web contains government reports, databases, and other sources of information of high value to DOD and the intelligence community,” according to a 2010 Defense Science Board report. “Alternative tools are needed to find and index data in the deep web … Stealing the classified secrets of a potential adversary is where the [intelligence] community is most comfortable.” With its new Utah Data Center, the NSA will at last have the technical capability to store, and rummage through, all those stolen secrets. The question, of course, is how the agency defines who is, and who is not, “a potential adversary.”

 

Pogo is quoted as saying, “Yes son, we have met the enemy and it is us.”  Mr. Bamford provides a link to my favorite second brain, Wikipedia, concerning totalitarianism, “Totalitarianism (or totalitarian rule) is a political system where the state recognizes no limits to its authority and strives to regulate every aspect of public and private life wherever feasible.  Totalitarian regimes stay in political power through an all-encompassing propaganda campaign, which is disseminated through the state-controlled mass media, a single party that is often marked by political repression, personality cultism, control over the economy, regulation and restriction of speech, mass surveillance, and widespread use of terror.” 

Heavy stuff, n'est-ce pas?  Now please don’t get me wrong here.  I am proud and blessed to be a citizen of this country.  Further, I am thankful to those not only on the front-lines protecting my freedoms but also to those behind the scenes (perhaps even in Utah) who are doing the same.  One of those freedoms is the freedom of speech.  I would hope that writing a blog such as this would not put yours truly onto a ‘watch list’ or label me as, “a potential adversary”.  This being said, no one should be above the law.  We are not a totalitarian regime, we are a democracy and we should act like one.

No.  Really.  We should.

THIS section should really be ‘Part III’ but I am growing weary of my own slacktivist rantings; so now, as promised, a word about Facebook that I mentioned way back in the beginning of this particular blog entry.  I said I would offer some humble suggestions for participating in the Social Media arena.  Please take the following with a grain of salt.  Facebook is, at the end of the day, is driven by the individual user.  The way you run your Facebook is completely and utterly up to you.  My simple guidelines are as follows: 

Social Media is NOT my diary.

Words still mean things.  Actions do too.

Don’t be stupid… or at the very least, TRY not to be stupid.

Never feed the trolls.

Treat others, as I would want to be treated.

There you go.  That’s it.  These are my guidelines.  Yours may be completely different and that’s ok too.  That’s why they make different flavors of ice cream.  As we have already established, Facebook is user driven and that’s how I drive. 

I love Facebook.  Is it intrusive and do they sell my demographic information to data aggregators?  Sure they do but information is the new currency and if you want to participate in the Social Media arena then you must be aware of the consequences.  Before I post I try to remind myself that whatever I put out there, is out there.  We have already established this.  Facebook; however, can take on a life of its own if you don’t understand a few key things.  Bilbo Baggins was onto something when he said, “I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.” 

Just for the sake of discussion, for instance, suppose I start to annoy you.  You don’t like what I am saying, the silly way that I say it, or you are sick of seeing my pictures fill up your Facebook experience.  If such is the case you have a few options open to you, (don’t feel bad, I know how annoying I can be).  First, I would recommend that you familiarize yourself with this: http://mashable.com/2011/02/07/facebook-privacy-guide/.  It will show you how to exclude me from your feed.  If that doesn’t shut me up to your liking you can simply un-friend me.  It’s ok; we’ll always have Paris.  I know this flies in the face of any perceptions of narcissism on the branch of Social Media known as Facebook but why would I wish to torture you any longer?  Go now; know that I will carry your memory with me wherever I go & that you have carved out a special place in my heart.  You see, on Facebook, I am not there to entertain you ~ I’m there to entertain me and to communicate with those I wish to communicate with on my own terms.  If all that is too much or too little, too bad. 

Just look at how empowered we all are now!

Who da thunk?

...Now where do I go to get a yottabyte of memory?

Graphic from Forbes.  Interesting article too: http://www.forbes.com/sites/benkerschberg/2011/09/28/managing-information-risk-and-archiving-social-media/

Thin the Herd

"Honesty is such a lonely word, everyone is so untrue..." - Billy Joel

I like social media.  Facebook & Twitter are convenient ways for me to communicate the way I prefer to (i.e. without using a phone).  That being said every once in a while I run into moments where it is obvious that I must thin the herd, so to speak.  If you have been involved with social media for a while then you know what I mean.  The “friend” from another country who contacts you, tells you nothing but lies and then asks for money or the cell phone updates that keep chirping and chirping and chirping but only for ONE single person that you happen to be following.  There are times when you must separate the wheat from the chaff.    

The thinning of the herd became much easier for me after I saw an article by WIRED Magazine’s Erin Biba, entitled, “Twitter’s Fame Machine: Confessions of a Celebrity Ghost Tweeter”.  You can read it for yourself here: http://www.wired.com/magazine/2011/11/mf_samsung_qa_anniecolbert/all/1.  Ms. Annie Colbert is a Ghost Tweeter and her job is to find technology addled celebrities who cannot figure out how to use Twitter and make them look less stupid by tweeting for them.  She is good at what she does - brilliant, really.  She provides these celebrities easy access to self-promotion and twenty-first century communication without the celebrities actually having to dirty their hands in trying to figure out how to text. 

That got me thinking about whom I follow on Twitter.  Who was real, who was phony, and who just showed up on Twitter one day at the request of a PR person, conglomerate, studio, or publishing house who told them that they “Need a Twitter account”?  So that’s what I did.  If their feed was sterile or generic – GONE.  If they didn’t care about their feed – GONE.  Oh, I still follow a bunch of people but now I am slightly more confidant that that is exactly what they are: people.  Social media provides new avenues for lying, falseness, and fakery, I see enough of that in my real life; I don’t need it when I’m kicking back trying to read my Twitter feed.  No, I crave the actual, genuine article.  I respect the truth; especially since these days I find myself relying on Twitter more and more for up to the moment news (not to mention keeping my finger on the pulse of all things GEEK).  

I’m not going to lie to you; some of the cuts hurt me.  Case in point, America’s weatherman, Mr. Al Roker.  For whatever reason he was the ONLY person on Twitter that my phone recognized; further he or whomever else Tweets for him really, really likes that Twitter account.  This really wasn’t Al’s fault.  I’m sure that it has something to do with my settings but we have come to far to turn back now.  My cell phone would alert me to one message, then another and another and one more and people would ask, “Who keeps texting you?”

“Al Roker,” I would tell them, “America’s weatherman.”

“No.  Really.  Who keeps texting you?”

Forgive me Al.  Know that it’s not you; it’s me.

The Call to Dream Bigger

“Why would you read that?” a girl I went to school said to me when I was little more than youngling.  Even after all these years later I can still see the sneer on her face.  I had been reading a Star Trek book and for whatever reason she felt the compunction to belittle me for it. “It’s not real.  There is no benefit in the REAL world.”  I didn’t get the chance to ask her the circumstances for her lack of enthusiasm.  She simply saw no value in the story whatsoever.  This Fun Police foot soldier gave me the message and walked away.  About a month after she dispensed this sage-like advice to me she dropped out of school never to be seen or heard from again. 

However, in a startling change of pace, Gentle Reader, this blog isn’t about me – it’s about a genre that was once called “Science Fiction”.  Revelries have morphed into realities in recent days.  Long held scientific views are being questioned about the very fabric of the universe.  Basic tenants of the Science Fiction genre are falling into place in “the real world”.  This sort of surge has happened before.  Consider if you will, Mr. Jules Verne.  He was popular in his day (and to this day) for writing some pretty astonishing fiction.  I can almost here some of his readers – fans and otherwise, confronting him…  

“Pure fantasy!  Think about what you’re producing here; space travel, men on the moon, atomic energy an underwater ship that terrorizes shipping fleets, giant animals on some Mysterious Island?  Jules, you’ve got a great imagination but there is no benefit in the REAL world.” 

Verne was a visionary and he championed the cause of science fiction until it all became science fact.  Space travel, humans on the moon, atomic energy, submarine warfare, and genetics augmentations were all in the pages of Verne’s books before they were realities.  One could also point to H.G. Wells, or George Orwell, or a host of other writers for similar effect.  For whatever reason, we find ourselves in a similar state RIGHT NOW.  I don’t know if you’ve noticed but this past week or so there have been some pretty monumental stories that underline the fact that we are going to have to start dreaming bigger.

Tattooine was discovered - http://www.wired.com/wiredscience/2011/09/new-binary-star-exoplanet/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+wired%2Findex+%28Wired%3A+Index+3+%28Top+Stories+2%29%29&utm_content=Google+Feedfetcher.

Richard Branson’s Virgin Galactic Spaceport is a GO.  That means the VSS Enterprise (Virgin Space Ship) will be in orbit in the near future - http://sciencefiction.com/2011/09/24/spaceship-factory-now-open-for-business/.

Now I just need an extra $200,000 for a ticket!

The good people from CERN (who run the Large Hadron Collider) from Geneva announced that they believe that they have found neutrinos that exceed the speed of light.  Yeah, there is the possibility that the laws of physics are about to change.  That’s the news in layman’s terms now to read what the authors of the paper (who are definitely NOT laymen) have to say here is a copy of their paper - http://arxiv.org/abs/1109.4897.

USS Enterprise at Warp Speed. 

       

Scientists at The Gallant Lab at UC Berkley are using brain scans to reconstitute video images by using an fMRI machine.  Possible translation: You will no longer have to tell us what is on your mind, we’ll just look for ourselves.  Creepy mind-video reconstruction movie here - https://sites.google.com/site/gallantlabucb/publications/nishimoto-et-al-2011.

And then there’s the man who wants to reconstruct a dinosaur by “de-evolving” a modern chicken.  It’s the cover story on this month’s WIRED Magazine but Michael Crichton was doing the same thing in his books since 1990.  Click on this link for the full story… as WIRED says, “What could possibly go wrong?” - http://www.wired.com/magazine/2011/09/ff_chickensaurus/all/1 

I wonder what a Chickensaurus tastes like?

Now that there is no such thing as Science Fiction perhaps the moniker “Speculative Fiction” will make a comeback?  Who’s to say?  What I really want to know; however, is with all of these potential advances in science and technology WHERE is my FLYING CAR!?

Weapon of Choice

THOR had his hammer, Mjolnir.

007 had his Walther PPK.

Indiana Jones had his bullwhip.

Bilbo Baggins had Sting.

Lorena Bobbitt had her Ginsu.

Me? I’ve got my trusty Pilot G-2 07.

“What?” you may ask.

Oh yeah, make no mistake, that pen is my weapon of choice. Other writing instruments have come and gone but it is the G-2 that keeps finding its way into my pocket. In fact, at any given time I carry at least 3 (one for each of my kids) and one on my lanyard (for those quick draw – must have a pen NOW moments).

“You’re nuts.”

Perhaps, Gentle Reader; however, I have found no other vessel (save for my trusty computer and internet connection) as a means of idea delivery that comes close to my trusty G-2. When the Evil Chicken action figure is mass-produced (check in the toy section of your favorite department store this Christmas) it/I will come packaged with a scaled down plastic 16 or 20 oz. cup of coffee, my black messenger bag (which holds notebooks, my e-reader, the latest issue of “WIRED Magazine” & possibly a laptop) and a PILOT G-2 07 PEN! Some don’t like the boldness of the ink but the simple fact is your ink should be as bold as your thoughts are. Once you accept this fact then you can never go back. I have dabbled with the .38, the 05 and even the 10 but it is the 07 that I return to again and again. It is that good. So, you see, it was with a heavy heart that I read an article written by Mr. Mark McClusky entitled, “Mightier Than the Sword: 5 Perfect Pens” in the most recent issue of WIRED where my beloved G-2 was not counted among the pantheon of “perfect” writing instruments. Don’t believe me? Check it for yourself here: http://www.wired.com/magazine/2011/04/pl_filter_pens/.

I can see the BIC, I can see the LAMY Safari (the gateway fountain pen) but I just can’t get my head around the Uni-ball 207. Really – the Uni-ball? Others may moan about Fisher (the Space Pen people) not getting a shout out; I’m not one of them (it’s just too kitschy). I grieve for the omission of my weapon of choice the Pilot G-2 07; especially if the Uni-ball was its replacement for the article.

Mr. McClusky, say it ain’t so.

Well, at least you now know where I stand on the issue. Now if you will excuse me I am going to console myself by doodling with the finest writing instrument known to man, the Pilot G-2 07.

Until next time, keep on writing!

All Terrain Armored Transport for America

I’m not going to lie to you, Gentle Reader; we are in a slump. We consistently are confronted by bad news Stateside; the economy, the jobless rates, we are mortgaged to other countries three times over, we don’t produce too much these days in science or technology and there are wars on three fronts… some might be tempted into saying something like, “Our best days are behind us.” In a world where corporations are now considered individuals (thanks Supreme Court!) it is hard not to envision the future looming like Darth Vader in a room full of Padawans representative of the evil Empire in the much beloved Star Wars saga.

Hey, if you can’t beat ‘em, JOIN ‘em!

I was poking around Twitter (WIRED’s Underwire, specifically) and found this: http://ht.ly/4ySy4. Yes, that’s right; there is an effort underway to build a full sized – fully functional AT-AT right here in the good ole, U S of A. Let’s face it we are excellent consumers and, as is alluded to in this particular blog posting, one of our favorite consumer items is Popular Culture. As a red blooded, American Geek this pleases me. To think that Adam Savage from Mythbusters has been made privy to these plans shoots my patriotic, Midi-chlorian count off the scale.

They are calling for people to spread the word – which is, as it happens, exactly what I have now done. To quote from this blog, “…Now the rest is up to you. Spread the word. Get organized. We can get this done. If America can put a man on the Moon, we can bring a little bit of Hoth to the Earth. To volunteer to help, email ATATforAmerica@hotmail.com”.

Remember you real-life nephew of your Uncle Sam, the Force will be with you… Always.

Ashes to Ashes, Vinyl to Vinyl

In my regular surfing duties I found an interesting new way to deal with the problem of what to do with ones remains after being cremated that caught my eye. I thought that this was unique and actually kind of cool. I don’t know abut you Gentle Reader but after I shuffle off this mortal coil I would like to think that any organ that I have not destroyed (admittedly this is a short list by now) could be harvested and given to someone who needs it on this side of Glory. After that I am seriously pulling for a Viking Funeral. I am not joking. Come on, a Viking Funeral is the BEST! Put my harvested carcass in the canoe that my Dad and I built, cover my corpse with plenty of fireworks and gasoline and shove me off – preferably into the ocean; Cape May would be perfect! Now instead of putting roses onto my coffin everyone in attendance would be given an arrow. After the Gospel is shared and I (or what’s left of me) get past the breakers the arrows are to be lit and fired at the boat. BOOM! After that I highly recommend a decent BBQ.

Trust me; it’s what I would have wanted. Look, I can’t speak for YOU, Gentle Reader; I’m just giving you a glimpse at my wishes.

Across the ages people have found interesting ways of interring their bodies and/or dispose of their earthly remains. Heck the Pharaohs had pyramids built to usher them into the afterlife, Gene Roddenberry (the father of my beloved Star Trek) launched his ashes into space to orbit the earth. There are people who go into cryogenic freezes and those whose ashes are pressed into diamonds. I’ve heard of people being interred inside their cars or with their pets but, quite frankly, most of that is boring. They still don’t make hearses with luggage racks; even in the 21st century. You just can’t take it with you and that’s ok, I’m one of those ‘Treasure in Heaven” types anyway.

But I digress… I tell you that to tell you this and I thought this was cool: http://www.wired.com/underwire/2010/08/vinyl-ashes/. Yup, that’s right; your earthly remains can now be pressed into vinyl. Now I ask you, Gentle Reader, how cool is that? As per the article: “The basic package costs £2,000 and comprises of the standard artwork along with up to 30 ash-flecked discs with whatever sounds you choose, lasting a maximum of 24 minutes.” 24 minutes! Hey depending on how much ash you make you could have up to 30 discs. Granted this service is only in England right now but, come on, with a service like this can we (citizens here Stateside) be all that far behind? I think not. Oh man, so what would you want to say or share?

I’ll have to give it some thought. Perhaps you will as well. Don’t worry our answers will not be graded. Right now I’m pulling for “Don’t Fear the Reaper”, “It’s the End of the World as We Know It”, “The Passenger”, “That’s Life” and “It is Well with My Soul”.

What’s on your permanent record?



[BTW the picture is from the And Vinyl site (http://www.andvinyly.com/) and Wired brought the original article to my attention. All the other insanity is mine all mine.]

Starlog Magazine

Not to brag but I knew who Kevin Flynn, Snake Plissken, Ellen Ripley, Mad Max and Rick Deckard were long before they made their first appearances onto movie screens the world over and into the collective unconscious of popular culture. I listened to what people like John Carpenter, Ray Bradbury, Gene Rodenberry, Ann C. Crispin, Terry Gilliam and Stephen Spielberg had to say about their latest projects while I plotted and planned at just how I was going to get to a movie theater or a bookstore in South Jersey that would actually peddle the wares they were creating.

“Evil Chicken, just how did you find out about this stuff before it came out?”

Gentle Reader, I was a fan of Starlog Magazine, that’s how. Sure Forrest J. Ackerman’s Famous Monsters of Filmland was a primary influence on the publication but I grew up reading Starlog. Starlog published glossy wonder and I ate up each and every page. I remember bugging the magazine guy on the first Tuesday of every month to see if the new issue of Starlog had arrived. Starlog was, for this Geek and a great many others, the bee’s knees. The magazine was around for almost 33 years, which is some feat when one considers that nature of the publishing industry these days. After all, Newsweek Magazine was bought yesterday for the grand total of $1.00. Starlog, however, was always near and dear to my heart. You see, back when a world wide computer network was nothing but science fiction Starlog was one of the only fountains for a Geek to drink from – it was a literal oasis in the publishing world. This magazine fed an entire generation of fanboys, including yours truly. Starlog fanned the flames of wonder.

And now, it’s gone.

I believe that it was the internet that killed Starlog. I remember heading to their site and hoping beyond hope that they would embrace this new technology to work in tandem with their print version. Alas, this was never the case. Their web site never took into account the vast changes in media that were taking place. On the internet readers could now comment and become a part of the conversation about all things geek. If there was an interview with a leading science fiction author or a report from a movie set or hints being dropped about what the next ‘Star Trek’ film was going to be about all fans had to do was drop a name onto a search engine and press ‘Enter’. This eliminated the wait for next month’s issue. Now information was instantaneous, plentiful and, depending on where one found it, accurate. The Starlog website never adapted which is ironic for a magazine that so prominently promoted the future to remain fixed in the past. Some magazines made the jump such as Wired (http://www.wired.com/) and others did not such as OMNI (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Omni_(magazine)) and, sadly, Starlog (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Starlog).

The first issue was published in August of 1976 and the final issue, #375, was published in April of 2009. I want to believe that Starlog is only in hibernation. I would love to see a multimedia version of a resurrected Starlog come to pass which would be launched electronically and in print; with a web presence and a go-to show on G4 or the SyFy Channel – all the Geek news that’s fit to print, blog or broadcast. The rights to Starlog are currently held by “The Brooklyn Company INC”, the same people who publish Fangoria (which was a sister publication to Starlog). I mention this tidbit as a means of introduction to the good people at The Brooklyn Company INC…

Please consider this blog the preamble to my resume. I am Evil Chicken and if you ever want to reboot Starlog... I am your man.

The Bionic Cat

When nine lives are simply not enough...

In between changing the background here at Chicken Scratch and horsing around on Twitter I came across a Boing Boing posting concerning the "Cybercat". Here's that post: http://www.boingboing.net/2010/06/25/cybercat.html

From there I went to Wired where the story originated. I was hoping that there was video of the cat and there is! Check it all out here: http://www.wired.com/gadgetlab/2010/06/bionic-cat-walks-on-prosthetic-legs/

Howzabout dat.

Want to Win an AT-AT?

If you just asked the question, “What’s an AT-AT?” Thank you for stopping by. This particular blog posting is NOT for you. No hard feelings, Gentle Reader; I’ll see you next time.

Still here? Good. It is no big secret; I am a geek. If you are a geek too I HIGHLY recommend that you go to: http://www.wired.com/underwire/2010/05/celebrate-empire-strikes-backs-birthday-win-a-killer-at-at/.

“Why?”

I’ll tell you why – to celebrate the 30th anniversary of the film, “The Empire Strikes Back”, Wired Magazine is giving away a new version of an old classic – an All Terrain Armored Transport. I have no doubt that you know that these are the weapons the Empire unleashed on the rebel base on Hoth. Yeah, it’s pretty iconic. Epic, dare I say.

“What do I have to do?”

Excellent question! All you have to do is comment about why YOU deserve such a favor. That’s it. Nothing more, nothing less.

Here is what I posted…


I’m not alone in saying that “Star Wars” changed my life. Seriously; “Star Wars” made me want to discover stories (in whatever form they materialize) and then, tell them. I think I saw it three times during that summer of 1977. And then George Lucas’s Empire really grew due to the magic of toy merchandizing. My favorite toy was my “Millennium Falcon”. It was choice. It held a slew of figures and had that cool 3D video game table from the movie. Oh yeah, it rocked.

When “The Empire Strikes Back” came out 30 years ago I remember being stunned; immobilized in the theater chair. [Gratuitously Unnecessary Spoiler Alert] How could Darth Vader by Luke’s father?! How is Leia going to rescue Han from Boba Fett? What is Luke going to do without a lightsaber? Why is Lando wearing Han’s hand me downs? [End Unnecessary Spoiler Alert] And then the next wave of toys came. I remember begging for a “Kenner” AT-AT Walker and, low and behold, for my birthday I got one! I loved that thing; it was like a multi-jointed Old Yeller without the rabies and need to go outside. What a great toy. When “Return of the Jedi” came out and I was pleased to see that an AT-AT had a cameo appearance on that forest moon of Endor. AT-AT’s need work too.

Time passed as time always does. I maintained my collection but, by this time, I had to pay the rent. It was a sad day but I sold my entire “Star Wars” collection; all for a roof over our heads (did I mention I was now married? No? Well now you know that too). I sold my childhood that fateful day and winning this “Hasbro” AT-AT would bring a bit of that back.

Say, you guys don’t happen to have an extra Millennium Falcon hanging around, do you?


…There. That wasn’t so bad was it?

Now try your hand at it! However, I must warn you… I have already picked out a space in the Chicken’s Lair where the AT-AT will grace.

Good Luck.

Your Chance to Get Away From it ALL

Now here is a contest that could prove interesting: http://ow.ly/15GAF. All you have to do to win $10,000 is to disappear for a month’s time.

“Oh I could do that.”

Really, Gentle Reader? Disappearing is not all that easy in the second decade of the 21st century. “I think I’ll grab a cup of coffee and a magazine.” BOOM you just used your ATM card – you can be found. “Maybe I’ll rent a car and hit the open road.” BAM you just used your credit card and now you’ve made a paper trail. “Maybe I’ll just lay low at a friend’s house.” ZAP did I mention that there would be people looking for you? “Well, I’ll just drive my car north, south, east or west.” WHAM you have a license plate and an EZ Pass do you think you are not being monitored? …Oh the quest for 10 Gees in this day and age is not that easy after all.

That being said, I think I could do it. Evan Ratliff managed to make it for 25 days without being detected (http://www.wired.com/vanish/). Not for nuthin’ but I think that I could do better. I believe that if one is dedicated to living off the grid for a month’s time; that one could become 10 K richer.

“Off the grid?” Yeah, that’s what I said; you’ve got to go Gilligan’s Island – no phone, no light, no motorcar – not a single luxury. Or, you could hide in plain sight. Perhaps you would have help; perhaps you wouldn’t – HOWEVER it plays out it would make a GREAT story.

Perhaps I’m diluting myself but I could do that. What I would miss the most would be my family. BUT after Daddy won the 10 Grand we would all be going on a Disney Cruise; and that, Gentle Reader, is quality time.

So do you have the wherewithal to pull this off? Can you take a month off from your job and your responsibilities? Can you pass the background check? Could you effectively disappear?

This is your chance to find out.

NOTE: I found a cool picture of a magician on stage doing his thing but it disappeared. Hmm...

Pentagon Working on Breeding Immortal Synthetic Organisms

So when does our technology outpace our humanity? Philosophers have struggled with the question for millennia. We have wrestled with the concept in books and films – trying to make sense of all of the giant leaps ahead all the while trying to keep a handle on our own place in the universe.

“What are you talking about, Evil Chicken?”

I’m talking about how the lines of fiction (some would say science fiction although that term truly does not adequately fit the context of most technological arguments anymore) and reality. Case in point, the Pentagon is, as the following article from Wired (although you can read this story anywhere), “looking to breed immortal, “synthetic organisms” with a molecular ‘kill-switch’” for those ‘just in case’ moments when one’s own creation gets out of hand.

“Come on…”

Nope, I’m not making this up; read Katie Drummond’s article for yourself here: http://www.wired.com/dangerroom/2010/02/pentagon-looks-to-breed-immortal-synthetic-organisms-molecular-kill-switch-included/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+wired%2Findex+%28Wired%3A+Index+3+%28Top+Stories+2%29%29&utm_content=Google+Feedfetcher

In the film “Blade Runner” humans created bio-engineered synthetic organisms that had a kill switch built into their DNA that only gave them a 5-year life span. The Nexus 6 line looked human and as new models came out with improved biometrics and implanted memories it became next to impossible to distinguish between the “Replicants” (synthetic organisms) and the humans.

The pentagon wants an immortal warrior who can sustain amazing damage but can still function on the battlefield. When Skynet started rolling Terminators off the assembly lines to wipe out the rest of the human blight in the Terminator movies they found that the best killers were the ones hidden under living, bio-engineered skin.

DARPA (the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency) is the research and development arm of the United States Department of Defense. This is a prestigious think tank that, according to my favorite second brain Wikipedia, is working on the Synthetic organisms. Check out this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DARPA#Projects and scroll down for a list of past projects and active projects which include XOS Exoskeletons (like the high end ones used in “AVATAR” and “Aliens”), High Energy Liquid Laser Area Defense Systems, Remote Controlled Insects (for spying and such) and making Combat Zones that See (where everything that moves in a given area is tracked). DARPA sounds like an interesting place to work. Now if anything goes wrong with these immortal synthetic organisms (causing a Zombie uprising or other such shenanigans) it’s all right; there’s a molecular “kill switch” – I’m sure that nothing could ever go wrong with that.

There is no such thing as science fiction anymore, Gentle Reader. Hold onto your hats. The future is now.

“History shows again and again how nature points out the folly of man.” – Blue Oyster Cult, Godzilla

The iPad Tablet

I am a Star Trek fan. In Star Trek The Next Generation, on board Captain Picard’s Enterprise (NCC-1701-D, mind you) the crew had access to all shipboard computer systems via a device called a PADD or “Personal Access Display Device”. Well, that little piece of tech just became real. This week Steve Jobs presented the world with the iPad Tablet. This is the direction that computer and technology market will be heading; it is another step forward and (please excuse the next Star Trek reference) only logical.

“So, what does it do?”

Well, it should be a blend everything that your laptop does with everything that an iPod Touch or even an iPhone does. Throw in all that an Amazon Kindle and your Netflix account can bring you and you would have quite the device. Here’s what Wikipedia has to say about it: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/IPad.

“It can do all that?”

I don’t know. This is the first generation of the next phase in computer and technology so it is hard to pin such hopes and aspirations on the brand new, not even out of the box device such as this. I have as many questions as you do; fortunately Wired’s Gadgetlab has some excellent coverage on this little gem that may be able to answer some of the questions that we may have: http://www.wired.com/gadgetlab/apple-tablet-full-coverage/.

“Next phase computer device?”

Seriously. My, you are asking quite a few questions this morning, Gentle Reader but that is fine with me – we’ll learn together. The iPad Tablet is another step towards the future – sure there are no flying cars or jet packs but now you no longer need a paperboy since your copy of the paper is downloaded to your phone every morning. Of course your schedule and planner is now electronic as well. Do you have a question? Bring up Wikipedia or Google or Clusty. Need directions? Plug ‘em in and go. Need to study or read a technical journal for work? Do so. Could you use some tunes or perhaps you want to take in a movie or kick back with a good book to read? Make it so. The interface and portability of such a device is what makes it the step forward that it will prove to be. And these are just the applications off the top of my head. If you think about it doctors in hospitals could electronically maintain a file on each of their patients. “Mr. Smith,” the doctor said pressing a button on his iPad / PADD, “Here is the x-ray of your spleen. It looks like it’s healing nicely since the elephant stampede.”

Silly? Yes. The future? Undoubtedly. Before I make the jump to such a device a few generations are going to have to happen; also, the company’s logo, at least on my device, will not be Apple. Nothing against them, it’s just that I’m a dyed in the wool PC guy and I am very interested in what the Windows version of a very similar and slightly more advanced PADD would roll. Still you can’t take anything away from Apple or Jobs for that matter. They consistently produce technology that the masses want and push the entire industry and, dare I say, the world on towards the future.

That’s progress, Gentle Reader. That’s progress.