Sunday, March 16, 2008

Wings of Fire


Let us discuss the topic of chicken wings. I love ‘em. For yours truly my preferences for wings are extra crispy with (depending where you are) “medium” to “hot” sauce. Wings are even Atkins low-carb friendly.

Yeah baby – bring it on.

“But Evil Chicken, what about your cholesterol?”

163.

“But what about your cholesterol?”

You just asked that.

“163?”

Yep. Ain’t life grand? Before you ask about family history or mention the important role genetics play in one’s cholesterol count let me just say, “yes”, my father had high cholesterol. I believe I owe the cholesterol count to my low-carb, high protein diet. But enough about the gravy coursing through my veins let’s get back on topic.

Here are my picks for the best places I know of to get wings.

1. Big John’s Pizza Queen. How I like ‘em: extra crispy, hot with cayenne pepper on top. Awesome. Pizza Queen has great pizza too. The pizza sauce recipe has been passed down from the MIGHTY Big John’s Pizza in Bridgeton NJ, where the owner Mr. Robbie Johnson learned his skills. Big John’s should be listed on the historical sites for South Jersey and Pizza Queen continues that heritage. If you’re not eating low-carb it’s manna from Heaven; you won’t be disappointed with the Wings either.

2. Wild Wings in Vineland, NJ. They are smaller wings but they are very tasty. How I like ‘em: extra crispy with medium heat on the sauce; and what a sauce it is. Medium is enough to break you out in a sweat. You’ll like ‘em.

3. The Pic-A-Lilli (http://www.picalilli.com/) in Shamong, NJ. You have to go a long way to beat the Pic’s Wings. How do I like ‘em? Hot and extra crispy. Please note that Wings at the Pic differ from other places in the universe in that the humerus (drumstick) and the radius and ulna (the forearm of the wing) are still connected so if you order 25 wings it’s really like getting 50. Order the Dog Bowl you won’t be disappointed. Speaking of places that should be listed as historical sites, the Pic is a must experience – a must do. If you’ve been geocaching in Wharton all day and have just pulled off of Quaker Bridge Road at Atsion Lake, the Pic is where you want to be heading. You will not be disappointed.

4. Oliver Twist in Millville, NJ. They have Old Bay Wings that rock. Very tasty and a nice twist on a favorite. As an added feature hanging from the ceiling is a 6-man canoe named “The Sixpack”. It’s a thing of beauty to behold since it’s man made and is in excellent shape. I can remember racing against it and its team about 22 years ago. It’s nice to see that the boat still exists. Break out the Old Bay at Oliver Twist

5. Cowtown Rodeo (http://www.njsouth.com/index-cowtown.htm) in Pilesgrove, NJ. There’s a lady there who runs a stand where she sells Roasted Wings and man oh man, are they tasty. Check them out on Tuesday’s or Saturday’s (the days of operation) between the hours of 8:00 AM and 4:00 PM. Very tasty.

And there you have it, my top 5. If you can recommend others please do so, I’m always in the mood for Wings!

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Script Frenzy 2008


Gentle Reader, have you always had a yen to want to write a screenplay, play, or TV script? Yes? Well, April is gonna be a good month for you.

BAM: http://www.scriptfrenzy.org/.

Throw your excuses out the window and start typing. Take no prisoners; if you can don’t pay any attention to the spelling or grammar editing suggestions.

“Just keep typing” is a helpful mantra and here’s the goal 100 typed pages in 30 days time. Does that sound daunting? Don’t sweat it. The good folks from the Office of Letters and Light the same people responsible for NaNoWriMo (just see the link to the left) are making this happen. THAT is such a good thing.

Have you ever wanted to? Yeah? DO IT. It’s possible. I’ve completed two NaNoWriMos and one Script Frenzy; if I can do it, Gentle Reader – so can YOU!

No really.

You too could walk into the month of April a non-playwright or scriptwriter and walk out of April a WRITER!

Now I ask YOU, how cool is that?

Trust me, it’s very cool.

There are 5 simple rules which I reprint from their website…

The 5 Basic Rules of Script Frenzy

1) To be crowned an official Script Frenzy winner, you must write a script (or multiple scripts) of at least 100 total pages and verify this tally on ScriptFrenzy.org.

2) You may write individually or in teams of two. Writer teams will have a 100-page total goal for their co-written script or scripts.

3) Script writing may begin no earlier than 12:00:01 AM on April 1 and must cease no later than 11:59:59 PM on April 30, local time.

4) You may write screenplays, stage plays, TV shows, short films, comic book and graphic novel scripts, adaptations of novels, or any other type of script your heart desires.

5) You must, at some point, have ridiculous amounts of fun.

This last rule is VERY important.

What else can I say? If you have a story in you just waiting to get out April would be a fine time to let it loose!

I for one, can’t wait!

So, what’s it gonna be? Are you gonna to walk out of the month of March a NON-PLAYRWRITE or SCREENWRITER?

NO; perish the thought!

Why would you let that happen when you can just as simply join up with all the madness that is Script Frenzy 2008???

I’ll see you on the other side.

Keep on typin’!

Sunday, March 09, 2008

Curiouser and Curiouser

Hillary is suggesting a Clinton/Obama ticket.

Hmmm… http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20080310/pl_nm/usa_politics_democrats_dc_3.

Howzaboutdat? Whodathunck?

http://evilchickenscratch.blogspot.com/2008/01/politics.html

And the hits keep rolling along.

The Burlington County Prison Museum


This Saturday the EC-5 (or rather my family – Mother Hen, Chicks 1.0, 2.0 & 3.0 and yours truly) visited the Burlington County Prison Museum. We’ve wanted to make the trip for quite some time now and today, since due to the rain bayside geocaching was out of the question, provided just the right backdrop to our break INTO the prison.

And what a prison it is. There are bars, cellblocks (which as the brochure says, “…were to house separate groups, e.g. habitual criminals, first offenders, and women.”), bleak halls and gallows (which were built and rebuilt as the need arose but now rebuilt - stand where their predecessors once did). It was a trip worth taking; a trip that you won’t forget. A stroll through the prison’s halls is a walk through history. Contained within those walls are thousands of stories and one gets the sensation that if walls could talk that one wouldn’t want them to ramble on too long about life imprisoned there in Mount Holly. If one were to let ones imagination wander it would not be hard to make the case for a place on this earth that would be downright spooky. I’m skeptical when it comes to ghosts but if they were to exist, the Burlington County Prison Museum would be where you would look to find them.

Perhaps the most haunting thing is the graffiti that has been left on the walls. The staff has sanitized it for the consumption of school kids and grandmothers but it is still there; and there is a lingering hopelessness to seeing graphic evidence of grids penciled to a wall with months and dates of internment scrawled upon them.

Other things that caught my attention were the size of the barred windows. The debtor’s cells have the best view with the largest windows. The maximum is smaller and the one in the “dungeon” (or rather those who were chained to the floor awaiting their time to swing from the gallows) – pretty small. A part of me rejoiced that Robert Mills, the project architect, designed the prison so that even the hardest internee was given the chance at seeing sunlight, no matter how small it may have been. The vast majority of the people incarcerated in Mount Holly were justifiably there – still the designer’s of the prison (Mills from 1810-1811) made sunlight an option for those who may or may not have deserved it. That’s pretty progressive. There are arches all over the place to facilitate the flow of air and to placate the needs of a prisoner population and their overseers. The front door must have been intentionally designed to be foreboding – wait until you see the lock (bonus points if you can post the year inscribed above the handle), wait until you see the key.

You’ve really got to see it to appreciate it. We spoke with the man working behind the counter. He was very knowledgeable about the prison and it’s strange secrets. There have been escapes, murders, overcrowding and justice has been dispensed all within the walls of the Burlington County Prison in Mount Holly. Go see for yourself, you won’t be disappointed. It’s $4.00 for adults, $2.00 for students & seniors and kids under 5 are free. Here’s their website: http://www.co.burlington.nj.us/departments/resource_conservation/parks/sites/museum/info/.

Can a trip across the river to Eastern State Penitentiary be that far off? Only time will tell, Gentle Reader; only time will tell. For now a trip to the Burlington County Prison Museum is just too cool and too close not to visit. You won’t be disappointed.

Friday, March 07, 2008

Who Watches the Watchmen?


Me. I guarantee it. I will be there to watch them opening night, lest there be no doubt.

These were released a few days ago but they are too cool not to pass along – for the scoop click here: http://www.superherohype.com/news/watchmennews.php?id=6887.

“The Watchmen” along with “The Dark Knight Returns” defined the graphic novel. I won’t gush too much but let’s just say Evil Chicken is jazzed.

Thursday, March 06, 2008

Of Dogs, Marines and Cliffs

NOTE: Unlike most stuff here this one isn’t light. You don't have to read this one. You will also notice, Gentle Reader, that I did not include a link to the video. I won’t post it here. If you must see it do a Clusty or a Google search for; “Dog, Marine and Cliff” follow the link.

I’m not convinced that the video of the marine throwing the puppy off the side of a “cliff” is real yet although the Marine Corp’s quick response in saying, “that’s not what marines do” unfortunately appears to lend credence to it actually having happened. If this was a hoax it was staged well (save for the puppy sounding a little less than real to these –never have thrown a puppy off of a cliff- ears). So, what if it’s real?

There’s this stupid old joke…

Q) How many Viet Nam vets does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A) YOU wouldn’t know, man… you weren’t there.

Dumb old joke – yes. But the answer proclaims the weight of the situation. The human animal is capable of anything. We like to forget this about ourselves. Whether Iraq, Afghanistan, Zimbabwe, Guyana, wherever; under the stress of survival in a war zone where it’s perfectly natural to be shot at by and return fire on groups of children, to understand that one wrong step through a tripwire will be yours or your companies last, to see the physical remains of the carnage that walks hand and hand with you every moment of every day of your time there; the all too real torture rooms, the mass graves, the piles of decaying corpses, the mutilations, the raping, the disfigurement, the genocide, the “insert barbaric atrocity here.” Under the right circumstances, we are capable of anything.

I have never been in war. I wouldn’t know. I wasn’t there. But I can read, type and watch the evening news. I’ve known people touched by war. I met a man with a number tattooed on his arm that was put there by the Nazis while he was imprisoned in Poland. His job was to stuff bodies into ovens. My father was in the Korean War and my father-in-law was in Viet Nam. My father-in-law rarely talked about his experiences and when he did it was never in any great detail. “You do things in war that you are not proud of. Things that you would never do anywhere else.” He said.

My father-in-law knew the inhumanity of war. To what extent I’ll never know. I never felt comfortable asking him about it. The puppy thrower(s) know it too. Such behavior is a symptom of a more insidious cancer. I’m not defending them – I pity them and by pitying them I pity us all.

Here’re two much better blogs than this one you might find interesting: http://www.bestcyrano.org/cyrano/?p=45 and http://www.bestcyrano.org/cyrano/?p=62. They are both by the same guy, Camillo “Mac” Bica. It is real good stuff on PTSD and worth the read.

Another Coffee House Found

While in between appointments today I happened across the Higher Grounds Coffee House, which is located at 21 Rosenhayn Ave. Bridgeton, NJ, 08302. I ordered an “Atlantic Coast Blend” and it was very good, most definitely worth a visit or two. I believe that a local church runs it although I’m not sure which one. It has good brew and that whole coffeehouse / cafĂ© groove that I’ve fallen in love with.

They have a menu for both breakfast and lunch that sounded good but with my annoyingly strict low-carb vows, I just drank my java. If you choose to “eat in” you’ll be served in a tall mug – which was a nice little touch BTW.

Their Winter Hours are; Monday 7 AM – 2 PM, Tuesday-Thursday 7 AM – 6 PM, Friday 7 AM – 10 PM (7-10 PM, Music), Saturday 7 AM – 6 PM and closed on Sunday. It look to this caffeine addict as a pretty good place to meet, greet and eat.

Now I’ve got to get to Smithville; I hear there’s a good one to sample in the area. I’ve got to make the time to do so.

Until then, three Splenda’s and Half & Half, thanks.

Monday, March 03, 2008

I’ll Take a Bib and Five Gallons of Drawn Butter, Please

Norwegian Lobbyists say, “Eat Whale and Save the Planet”. No, really. Check it out here:http://www.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUSEIC37493020080303?feedType=RSS&feedName=oddlyEnoughNews&pageNumber=1&virtualBrandChannel=0.

"Greenhouse gas emissions caused by one meal of beef are the equivalent of eight meals of whale meat," the study said.

Does Al Gore know about this?

Sunday, March 02, 2008

A Lost Watch Found, the Build a Bear Workshop, the Sukura Japanese Steak House and the Sorrow Hill Kickoff Party


You know, Gentle Reader, it was a busy day today, lest there be no doubt. I believe the title says it all. Welcome to my world.

Let’s just go in chronological order, ok?

“But Evil Chicken, it’s just a watch, what’s the big deal?”

Excuse me?

I recently lost my watch and turned over my bedroom looking for it today. I have a tad bit of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and I couldn’t rest until I found my Seiko Kinetic watch. It had been missing for about four days and, although I have a Coleman Camping watch as a back up, it’s just not my Seiko. You see my Seiko and I have been through many an adventure together – no really. We’ve been diving off the breakers at Assateague Island, on countless geocaches, and have survived many a pool party together, it’s taken its knocks and it has proved itself a worthy companion time and time again. It was missing. Something had to be done. I had to take action. I checked under the bed at least three times to no avail. Under my dresser? Check. Under my bed stand? Check. Mother Hen opened a drawer and, low and behold, there it was!

Man, I love that woman.

Man, I love that watch.

What’s this about “Build a Bear”?

Capitalism. Man, there’s nothing like it. Case in point – the “Build a Bear Workshop”. If you have access to children and you’ve been to a mall than you understand the seductive siren call of the stuffed animal cult that the “Build a Bear Workshop” is.

Oh my goodness.

What first struck me was the shear amount of humanity that frequents this establishment. There was an Irish family holding up the line as Chick 3.0 and I stepped into the boundaries of the place of business. I was tempted to call immigration on them just so the line would move faster. For some reason they had chosen a similar skin to stuff that Chick 3.0 had chosen.

“Oh bother,” as Pooh Bear, says. BTW, where I used to find “Pooh Bear” charming and an integral part of my childhood, I cannot stand the filthy blighter today. The well’s dun been poisoned.

The Irish family moved on. It did not matter. You see, any fears of a recession and our failing economy must be false because people are more that willing and able to spend their dollars at the “Build a Bear Workshop.” Everyone who has or is in close proximity to a child has brought them to this obscene and exploitative place of business.

Crazy? You bet. It just doesn’t matter. After the helpful, employee and Chick 3.0 stuffed the bear Chick 3.0 was then instructed to brush and comb her new Best Friend under the blowers and then to pick out clothing for her new Best Friend.

You know what, I do believe that a little bit of explanation is in order here for us to continue. The “Build a Bear Workshop” is a capitalist’s dream comes true. YOU (or rather your offspring, or grand-offspring or significant child other) choose a skin to stuff, ranging anywhere from $12.00 to $ 25.00 (we had a coupon and Chick 3.0 chose a $22.00 skin that resembles a Husky Dog). We are then led to a woman who by some strange magical powers enchanted my child to dance and spin and pick out a heart for her new FRIEND.

There is something macabre and grotesque about this process.

Chick 3.0 was instructed to stick a heart and a voice box into the skin and to stand on a pedal to pump her chosen skin full of stuffing.

“You know, Honey,” I began. “Dogs don’t like clothes.”

“You think so?” she asked.

“No doubt about it.” I said. “I’m the same way.” And with that my daughter and I – in a line that stretched around the store, mind you – began to maniacally giggle. It’s good to scare the straights every now and then. We were ushered over to the “Birth Certificate Center” or rather the “LET’S GET ALL YOUR PERSONAL INFORMATION CENTER.” And as happy capitalists we complied. We were now deemed clean to go to and to participate in the “Bearville” web site – once we pay our debt to the cult, mind you.

Life is good – or rather a 7 year-old Chick 3.0 feels that way.

Moving on…

Chick 2.0’s 11th birthday happened this past week and to celebrate we took her and her best friend out to the Sukura Japanese Steak House, Hibachi Grill just passed the Hamilton Mall in Mays Landing. Have you ever done Hibachi, Gentle Reader? If not, find one near you and go. Mother Hen and I have been only a handful of times and we have always wanted to take the kids so tonight was the night. They loved it. So did we. I had the Filet Mignon and Scallops and it rocked. Mother Hen jumped on the Filet and Shrimp while the girls got the chicken. Wonderful. Amazing feats of fire and cooking displayed right before your eyes. Much fun was had. Go, you’ll like it too.

It was a busy night. After dinner we hit Starbucks and then, after we traveled to the MVP Sports Bar in Buena, NJ. Man, what a crowd and most of them were there to wish a local filmmaker, Mr. Ronald DiPrimio well with his picture, “Sorrow Hill”. Mother Hen and I stopped in to do just that. As I’ve stated before, Ron is a truly talented guy and I can’t wait to see how this current project of his takes flight. He’s going to be one to watch. No doubt. He’s going to be shooting the trailer next weekend at a great location that I’m not giving away.

How cool is that?

If you are interested in filmmaking and want to read the ins and outs of making a project happen then you’ve got to check out Ron’s site here: http://www.grindhouse-pictures.com/. All the best bro.

“So, Evil Chicken – what have you been up to?”

Days like these, baby. Days like these.

Friday, February 29, 2008

The Sweetbrier Bakery

I love the smell of a bakery. There’s just something familiar, warm and inviting about it; do you know what I mean? Sure you do. It’s the collective memory of aroma and scent so sweet. And oh, what a bouquet it is. I revisited that fragrance this very day; Gentle Reader we (the family and I) celebrated leap year 2008 by paying a visit to the Sweetbrier Bakery, in Dorchester, NJ.

Awesome.

These days I’m all about the low-carb and the high protein. The diet’s been good – it’s been working and, unfortunately, I’ve got a lot to work with. I’ve been good but every now and again I run into a situation – like TODAY where I bend my carb shunning ways; and oh, I’m so glad that I did. I took one of their cards and I hereby quote, “Sweetbrier Bakery – A Natural Foods Bakery – All of our recipes are made from scratch and contain no preservatives or artificial ingredients. Baked goods made with organic ingredients can be ordered. We also have cholesterol free, dairy free, wheat free, and “Blood Type Diet” friendly baked goods.”

When I hear the words “Natural Foods” I gotta tell you, I shudder a bit. While healthy it may be the stuff you get at supermarkets is kind of bland. This is NOT the case with the Sweetbrier Bakery! Who knew that organic ingredients – dare I say, “healthy” ingredients could be so good? The owners and staff have a love and passion for what they do and the area they serve. They are sweet people. The walls are dotted with art and photos from local artists and if you know the area you just might spot some familiar sites.

Oh man, it’s good and worth a visit. They are located at 3890 Route 47 Dorchester, NJ. 08316. They are, “Just south of the intersection of Routes 47 and 347.” Try it the next time you’re in the area on your way to the shore or in your travels. Great people, great natural food bakery goods and the coffee’s pretty good too!

I’ll have to walk off the carbs and it’s back to the high protein grindstone tomorrow – TODAY, though, I feast!

Thursday, February 28, 2008

I Am IRON MAN


Ok, let’s geek out a bit…

http://www.myspace.com/trailerpark

Oh my.

“Good luck keepin’ up.”

With lines like, “Let’s face it, this is not the worst thing you’ve caught me doing.” May is gonna be a good month.

BTW - Ain't It Cool News broke this one.

Monday, February 25, 2008

The Chicken or the Oscar


The Academy Awards were on TV last night. It was the lowest rated ceremony in a long time. Why, who’s to say? It could be for a lot of reasons; perhaps your every day average movie going slob didn’t feel represented? Too much time spent on the “red carpet” as opposed to being spent in the love of film? Too many dance numbers? I don’t know. What I do know is that that little golden statue and I were at it again this year. Here were my picks: http://evilchickenscratch.blogspot.com/2008/02/oscar-vs-chicken-2008.html ; now let’s see who won this year.

Best Supporting Actor – who I chose: Hal Holdbrook for “Into the Wild”. Who won? Javier Bardem for “No Country for Old Men”. One nuthin’ for the golden boy.

Best Supporting Actress – who I chose: Rudy Dee for “American Gangster”. Who won? An incredibly HOT woman who wore no make up to the Oscars, Ms. Tilda Swinton for “Michael Clayton”.

Best Actor – who I chose: Daniel Day-Lewis for “There Will Be Blood”. Who won? Daniel Day-Lewis. Oh yeah, I’m feelin’ it.

Best Actress – who I chose: Cate Blanchett for “Elizabeth – the Golden Age”. Who won? Marion Cotillard for “La Vie en Rose”. Shake it off, baby – shake it off.

Best Visual Effects – who I chose: “Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End”. Who won? “The Golden Compass”. BTW, “The Golden Compass”? Please.

Best Animated Feature – who I chose: “Ratatouille”. Who won? “Ratatouille”. YES! Brad Bird is a genius. -SNIFF- I smell a comeback.

Best Makeup – who I chose: “Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End”. Who won? “La Vie en Rose”. What? Who? I’ll rent it and let you know BUT you’ve got to go a long way to beat out the job that was done of Pirates III.

Best Adapted Screenplay – who I chose: “No Country for Old Men”. Who won? “No Country for Old Men”. I’m nippin’ at his heals.

Best Original Screenplay – who I chose: “Juno”. Who won? “Juno”.

Best Director (s) – who I chose: “Joel & Ethan Coen - No Country For Old Men”. Who won? Why it was, “Joel & Ethan Coen - No Country For Old Men”. OH MY – I do believe we have a tie.

Best Picture – who I chose: “No Country for Old Men”. Who won… “No Country for Old Men”! OH MY GOODNESS – EVIL CHICKEN WON BY A NOSE!

What’s creepy is the fact that I haven’t seen most of the movies that were nominated. The trick is to think the way the Academy thinks. Still and all, it was close this year.

I didn’t watch the full broadcast and missed the memorandum. I caught it on Youtube but I either missed them or they were not mentioned but Mr. Roy Schider and Mr. Brad Renfro who both passed away not all that long ago may not have been mentioned.

I’ll see you next time Oscar. Until then know that ’08 was MINE!

Sunday, February 24, 2008

I Want To Believe


Cue the theme music.

Scully and Mulder are coming back to theaters this summer – July 25, 2008, to be exact; X-Files 2 – on the big screen. I am one X-Phile that can’t wait. Here’s Ain’t It Cool News’s coverage from WonderCon: http://www.aintitcool.com/node/35726.

Man… It’s good to be a geek. Harry and company do a great job of getting news that’s well, pretty cool. The vernacular on the site can be distracting when you read some articles and talk-backers so be fair warned – if you can look beyond that Harry’s site is the gold standard of geekdom.

And now, back to topic.

Friday nights during the nineties started with watching the X-Files on TV. What a great little show that was. If you get a chance check it out in reruns or rent the series. If you want a reminder of just how cool the show was check out: http://xfiles.wearehere.net/xfiles.htm#Start - it’s a great X-Files site and where I grabbed the “I Want To Believe” poster that used to hang in Mulder’s office before being burnt out in season 6 (?). After 202 episodes, 9 seasons of broadcast television the X-Files threw in the towel in 2002. The series, for me, didn’t end on the high note that it really deserved. X-Files was cutting edge when it was in it’s prime. The show lost it’s footing after David Duchovny (Fox Mulder) left. Oh the stories were good but the draw was the relationship between Scully (played by the amazing Gillian Anderson) and Mulder. The show suffered from Favoratus Disappearis and it was palpable.

I always felt that there were more tales to tell within the world of supernatural conspiracy, creepy monsters of the week and alien abductions. I know that I’m not alone in this belief. "X-Files 2" could be just what Chris Carter (creator, writer, director) needs to carve out an X-Files movie franchise.

I’m hoping that he does, after all – I want to Believe.

Friday, February 22, 2008

Wanderings – The Far Side of the World


One of my closest friends will be traveling to Macau China next month. He’ll be there for about three weeks on business. He told me that it will take him about 36 hours to get there.

Ouch. That’s a long time to be in an airplane.

As he told me this I fired up the latest edition of Google Earth and brought up some pictures.

“Whoa!” I said, “That’s cool.”

“What?” he asked.

“Google Earth has some nice points of interest – wait ‘till you see the pictures!”

“Pictures – you mean you see pictures of Macau?” he asked.

“Sure. ‘Panorimo’ is a part of the Google Earth experience my good man – WHOA!”

“Whoa what?”

“You’ve gotta see this temple when your there. It’s the kind of place that Indiana Jones would go to meet Lara Croft for drinks.”

“And that’s all on Google Earth?”

“Yes.”

I revisit this little exchange, Gentle Reader, to plug Google Earth. I don’t receive dime one and in the back of my paranoid mind know that Google will one day make a bid to rule the world through various nefarious techniques of mind control and subjugation BUT I gotta tell you, Google Earth is the bees knees. It’s the real deal. I’ve talked about the joys of Google Earth before but I thought I’d drag my fingers across my Logitech keyboard once more to extol its virtues. If you would like to check it out slide on over to "Evil Chicken's Favorite Places", and click on the link.

My friend has been sent around the world; Las Vegas, Bali, Dubai, India and now Macau China and I was able to see the hotel that he’s gonna be staying at from the comfort of my computer room. I can now live vicariously through others with just a few picked keys and some clicks from my mouse.

I’m excited for my friend for the adventure of travel, the thrill of discovery and, now, for the fact that he’s gonna be loading Google Earth onto his new laptop. He’s gonna love it and I’m gonna love hearing all about his exploits on the Far Side of the World.

Stay safe Dave, you’re in my prayers. Don’t forget to send me a postcard; for some reason, I’ve got a thing for them these days.

Stay safe, Bro.

Sunday, February 17, 2008

HD-DVD RIP

Toshiba will announce next week that it will cease production on HD-DVD players. It’s over. Blu-Ray is going to be the new standard. Whenever the prices come down, that is. Here’s a better article with the gory details: http://www.aintitcool.com/node/35643.

Eventually we won’t even have players; everything will be menu accessible via your remote control and stored either on a network by the cable company, your wireless carrier or a central processor in your living room. Oh well, Blu-Ray is what they will be selling for the next decade or so.

I’m just hoping that they go on sale soon.

Saturday, February 16, 2008

The Polar Bear Plunge 2008


Today was the day, Gentle Reader – Sea Isle City’s 2008 Polar Bear Plunge. What an amazing, wonderful, unforgettable time it was. Can you see my stab wound and third nipple? (Just kidding – it’s stretch marks and a burn scar.) Oh yeah, baby – I’m the real deal.

NOTE: This is a modified copy of a post I made over at SJG (South Jersey Geocachers – check out “Evil Chicken’s Favorite Places.”) No Polar Bear Plunge participants were harmed in the forging of this blog.

The Anatomy of an UNFORGETTABLE Day

1. Arrive at Sea Isle City early enough to be close to the beach. It is here that we park our small SUV full of our gear for the Plunge.

2. Off low-carb eating for the day and Blueberry Pancakes taste even better than I remember. Why now, why not low-carb – why today? That’s easy, this could be my last meal and it wasn’t going to be a chef salad with bleu cheese dressing.

3. Meet other like-minded individuals from SJG who share the same form of insanity and desire to jump into freezing ocean temperatures together as a team. (All told, I believe that there were 14 of us.) “Team SJG” ROCKS.

4. Register, pay yer money and get yer shirt.

5. Find a table and watch the AMAZING SHOW that you will be a part of begin to parade by. I’ve been to New Orleans – on Bourbon Street at night; well, now I’ve been to Sea Isle City – on Landis Ave, under a big tent in the late morning. It is worth the trip even if you’re not making the Plunge. The costumes were a blast and a half; twisted sisters, Marilyn Monroe, Eagles cheerleaders with facial hair, a whole team of Santas, men in kilts, people in sombreros, American Gladiators and a woman dressed in an outfit with stuffed dogs pasted to her shirt carrying a sign that read, “Michael Vick’s Worst Nightmare.”

6. Get out of the tent. You’ve seen enough. The crowd is not feeling any pain, so to speak, and the music is way LOUD. The crowd was friendly but it is VOLUMINOUS; you will NOT be able to move. Get out – besides it’s almost time to get acclimated to the temperatures outside of the tent.

7. You made it out! Great. Now take your clothes off. Well, not all of them. I recommend starting with your shirt. There. Isn’t that better?

8. Grab your camera. It’s time to take up close pictures of the string band and the Ice Queen who sits quite regally on her throne of ice blocks. Grab some more pictures of others in costumes like a gaggle of witches, a cow and a gorilla. Make note of all the gorillas you see – impressive number.

9. Rejoin Team SJG and collect your gear for the beach. While at your vehicle (which we have already established is parked close by to the beach) strip down to your bathing suit and have your dry gear at the ready.

10. Grab your camera and begin to take pictures. Here comes that string band and the Ice Queen, who is still quite regal, on her throne of ice.

11. Grab your gear and face the throng of people ahead of you and your destination. Make sure that any little ones who are with your party are bundled up warmly and safe – it’s winter and a big crowd.

12. Did I mention it’s a big crowd? Make your way to the beach, show your blue wristband and reassemble with your group on the other side of the orange barrier fencing. It is this fence that separates the doers and the watchers.

13. Never forget – it is GOOD to be a doer.

14. Lay down your beach blanket or sheet, put down your gear, make sure all electronics are safe and look over your shoulder – better yet; turn and face the crowd and take a picture. Wow.

15. It’s TIME! 2:00 PM and the first wave of about a hundred people go running into the surf. Watch ‘em go. You’re not on the clock. Be determined, be willful and start your walk into the Atlantic Ocean.

16. Give as many High-Fives as you can to those who are walking / running out. The occasional scream of “YEAH!” or “WHODAMAN – YOUDAMAN!” is good also.

17. Now walk into the ocean (it’s not that bad really – especially if the wind and water temperature aren’t at great odds with each other. Today that magical balance was struck at about 38 degrees.) Keep moving forward – feet, knees, mid-thigh… when the breaker comes (you will know it when you see it) dive under the wave. Let it wash over you.

18. Yes. Now stand and take account of your surroundings. Look at the police boat just a handful of yards away waiting to scoop a hapless Polar Bear Plunger out of harm's way, look to see who is still in with you and look to the boardwalk. Man, that’s a crowd.

19. Whisper a prayer of thanks that: A) you haven’t had a heart attack yet and B) the temperature is not that bad (once your body goes numb).

20. Walk out of the ocean and head towards Team SJG. Take pictures, make new friends and, once you see that everyone is good, get ready for round two. (Be warned – you just may have to introduce your new friends to your wife.)

21. Grab your camera and get back into the surf. Pictures. Take many.

22. Get out; rejoin your group, towel off and change.

23. Take pictures of the kids and other Team SJG members on the ice throne. How cool is that? Sea Isle Ice outdid themselves this year.

24. Rejoin the group, grab your gear and head back to your SUV to drop off your gear and make plans on your next move.

25. Go get something to eat. Did I mention that this is a low-carb free day? Good. Enjoy your open-faced Reuben sandwich and slice of coconut custard pie; you’ve earned it.

26. Toast the man who made it all possible. Yes, the man who proposed the idea all those long months ago – “The Print Shop”.

27. Know that this was only the beginning. Stay warm with the knowledge that Team SJG will be back next year. Life is good.

28. Think about what costume theme the group will be doing in 2009. Oh yes, Life is good.

Thanks again Print Shop! Without you this whole crazy new tradition wouldn’t have happened. 4 out of 5 Chickens can’t wait until next year.

Did I mention that life is good?

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

The Writer’s Strike Is Over

Ain’t It Cool News says so - http://www.aintitcool.com/node/35589.

Just how much “Reality TV” can a person take?

The Polar Bear Plunge


Gory Details: http://www.seaisletourism.org/events1.html. It’s the 14th Annual Polar Bear Plunge, @ 41st street, @ 2:00 PM.

Even Gorier Details: I’M IN. May God have mercy on my soul.

It just so happens that a friend of mine has always wanted to do this – the Polar Bear Plunge, that is. We were talking one night and he mentioned that he would like to do the Polar Bear Plunge before he died.

“Would you?” I asked.

“I sure would.” He said.

“Well, that sounds like fun – count me in.”

That was about 10 months ago. Well, Uncle Bingo’s come to collect the bill. Sea Isle City is having their Polar Bear Plunge to benefit XXX (Lord knows what – it’s usually for Special Olympics but Sea Isle’s been a little nebulous with this answer). The simple fact of the matter is that it doesn’t matter what it’s benefiting. There’s a group of people (yours truly included) who are going into the ocean in February. The ocean temperature is about 37 degrees.

My friend also posted a link concerning the first timer and what he or she should consider. I post this link for you Gentle Reader in the off event that you might just be standing next to me on a fridged beach in the middle of February this Saturday: http://www.plungemd.com/pdf/first-timer_tips.pdf.

Nuts?

Yes.

I’m going in because I said I would, it might be the beginning of a beautiful family tradition, it’s good to do something crazy every now and then AND, I’m told, it’s for a good cause. Hey, there’s gonna be a parade and an after party (which will hopefully include an EMT with some defibulator paddles at the ready – I hear those paddles can be very warming).

How cool is that?

There will be pictures. There will be mayhem. There will be memories. There’s still room if you’re interested.

For Those About to ROCK We Salute You.

Bring it on.

(Picture of said ‘Polar Bear’ – as usual, is through Wikipedia, my favorite second brain)

Monday, February 11, 2008

Oscar VS. Chicken 2008


Ok. Let me be direct and up front with you gentle reader, it’s not fair for me to take on Oscar this year due to the fact that I’ve only seen about 4 of the films that are nominated this year. In other words, I’ve got one hand tied behind my back.

Misinformation has never stopped me before so bring it on Oscar. Let’s see what you’re made of. The majority of my picks are trying to infuse my mind with just how the academy thinks. It’s not easy but this remote viewing has worked for me in the past so here are my picks for who’s going to be walking away with the statue of the little, golden, bald guy.

Best Actor: Daniel Day-Lewis for “There Will Be Blood”. Clooney might surprise me.

Best Supporting Actor: Hal Holdbrook for “Into the Wild”. Nostalgia – the academy voters want to feel like they have an appreciation for the past.

Best Actress: Cate Blanchett for “Elizabeth – the Golden Age”. The academy voters want to establish a two-fer; in this instance Blanchett will have won for the same role in two different films. There’s that and she’s brilliant.

Best Supporting Actress: Rudy Dee for “American Gangster”. Blanchett might surprise me, we’ll see.

Best Animated Feature: “Ratatouille”. Pixar deserves any accolades they might receive AND, I might add, Brad Bird (writer/director) is a genius.

Art Direction: “Sweeny Todd”. I want to see Burton and Co. beat out “The Golden Compass”. Burton’s got it coming.

Cinematography: “The Assassination of Jesse James By The Coward Robert Ford”, although “There Will Be Blood” might take it.

Costume Design: “Elizabeth – The Golden Age”

Best Director: “Joel & Ethan Coen - No Country For Old Men”. These guys are amazing filmmakers and they are due.

Best Documentary Feature: “Sicko”; mainly because the academy voters are petrified that they will be the focus of Moore’s next movie.

Best Editing: “The Bourne Ultimatum”

Best Foreign Language Film” “Mongol”. I hear that this one is really something to see; Genghis Kahn the early days. It’s on my list.

Best Makeup: “Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End”. Get a good look at Davey Jones – amazing.

Best Music Original Score: “Ratatouille”.

Best Picture: “No Country for Old Men” BUT this is going to be close – it could easily go to “There Will Be Blood”. We shall see.

Best Visual Effects: “Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End”. With all due respect to the work that was done on, “Transformers”, Pirates Rocked.

Best Adapted Screenplay: “No Country for Old Men”. This too will be close and could easily be “There Will Be Blood”.

Best Original Screenplay: “Juno”. The academy voters will vote for this film in this category. I hear that it’s a very good film but I haven’t had a chance to see it. “Ratatouille” I have seen and it is amazing. I’d like it to win but the academy will be too busy patting itself on the back for other things to take notice of an animated movie beating out a live action film.

So. There you have it. Evil Chicken’s picks Oscar ’08. Oscar’s got the upper hand going into this fray but I think I’ve got his number. We’ll see who wins and who loses on February 24th.

Bring it on Baldy

“You’re Gonna Need a Bigger Boat.”


Roy Scheider has passed. He was 75. Here is Yahoo’s story from the Associated Press; http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080211/ap_en_mo/obit_scheider_19.

Chief Martin Brody from “Jaws” is an anchor to American cinema in my mind. Mr. Scheider along with Richard Dreyfuss and Robert Shaw along with a young director named Spielberg struck a nerve in the world’s collective unconscious. The movies were never the same after – the blockbuster was born.

I loved his portrayal of Dr. Heywood Floyd in “2010 – The Year We Make Contact” too. I loved Arthur C. Clarke’s book “2010: Odyssey Two” and watching Mr. Scheider and Keir Dullea in their scenes together was worth the price of admission alone.

My thoughts and prayers go out to his friends and family. He was an icon of an American actor and he will be missed.

Friday, February 08, 2008

“Sorrow Hill” Update

The writer / director of “Sorrow Hill” (http://grindhouse-pictures.com/grindblog/), Mr. Ronald DiPrimio will be live on the Rick Cahall Radio Show this Friday (February 8th) from 11:00 PM until Midnight on 92.1 WVLT. Ron is a local filmmaker who understands the value of Walt Disney’s words when he said, “Keep Moving Forward”. I can’t wait to see the finished product. He’s a talented guy AND he’s local. Lend an ear.

Ron and Grindhouse Pictures will be holding a production kick-off party. It’s going to be held on Saturday March 1st beginning at 7PM at the MVP Sports Bar in Buena NJ. It sounds like it should be fun so if you’re in the area drop on by and support a local filmmaker!

Give ‘em heck Ron.

Thursday, February 07, 2008

Three Monkeys an Ox and a Dragon


Happy New Year! Chinese New Year, that is. It is now the year of the Rat. As I type this little ditty my eyes are drawn to the red and gold Good Luck Lion marionette that hangs in the corner of my room. It was given to us by a close family member named Bat Monkey and it was from New York’s Chinatown celebration last year. The Lion has done well warding off evil the in the Evil Chicken home during the last twelve months and I, for one, hope that he doesn’t come with an expiration date.

As a project to do with the kids we researched Chinese New Year by finding the authentic dates of our particular signs. As it turns out (thanks to Wikipedia, my favorite second brain) one of our member’s (Mother Hen) switched astronomical signs. For years, according the placemats of a hundred Chinese Restaurants; she was listed as a “Cock” or a “Rooster”. Well, imagine my surprise when after seeing this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chinese_Zodiac. I scrolled down to her birth year and was rocked by what the months reveled. She missed being a “Rooster” by a matter of three days – she is firmly entwined in “Monkey” territory.

How had this happened? I wasn’t even aware that we were living a lie. Fortunately Wikipedia is there to instruct and enlighten,“…if a person was born in January 1970, his or her element would still be Yin Earth, not Yang Metal. Similarly, although 1990 was called the year of the horse, anyone born from January 1 to January 26, 1990 was in fact born in the Year of the Snake (the sign of the previous year), because the 1990 Year of the Horse did not begin until January 27, 1990. For this reason, many online sign calculators (and Chinese restaurant place mats) will give a person the wrong sign if he/she was born in January or early February.”

How about that? For the last 17 years we have been living under the idea that one of the Founding Members of our family has been a completely different Chinese Astrological sign. It’s quite disconcerting.

The Chinese, however don’t stop there, oh no; there are also elemental influances; for instance Mother Hen and I are “Earth Monkeys” while our oldest daughter Chick 1.0 is a “Golden Monkey”. Our middle child, Chick 2.0, is a “Fire Ox” and Chick 3.0 is a “Golden Dragon”.

Don’t trust your placemat? I don’t blame you. Check out the above Wiki link, scroll down to the year and between the months you were born and Bada-Bing; there’s the gory details.

Happy New Year!

Saturday, February 02, 2008

The Schemes of Professor Atoz – A Tale by his ProtĂ©gĂ©e, Ghost Writer and Friend; Warren McLaughlin


NOTE Gentle Reader; the following is a short story that is only the beginning of a much larger series of tales and adventures that are told in the Evil Chicken household to reinforce history lessons. It’s a game we play.

NOTE 2.0 – there are hidden messages in this particular blog entry – notes that will be missed by any and all that read it – save for two particular time agents (Chick 1.0 and Chick 2.0).

NOTE 3.0 – This is based on a true story.

I’ll never forget the summer of 1916. So much was going on in the world; the Germans had sunk the Lusitania killing 1,200 souls including 128 American Citizens in the process in 1915 yet our president, Woodrow Wilson still refused to enter the European conflict. He spent his time making mandates such as signing Mother’s Day proclamations and finding ways to remain neutral in the conflict that was to be the Last Great War. Teddy Roosevelt urged Wilson to enter the war calling the Germans “Pirates”. We probably would have too if not for the events that transpired on the evening of July 30; when cooler heads and much more fantastic happenings prevailed. It was the night I met Professor Cornelius Augustus Atoz. It was the night I should have died.

By means of introduction my name is Warren McLaughlin. I worked at the Black Tom Island munitions depot as a longshoreman. I hadn’t been at the job all that long and I was working late into the night. I’ve never been one to complain all that much when a job has to be done so it was late into the night that I worked. My crew and I had just finished loading a vessel bound for Great Britain. The crew had left the ship that we were loading when I saw this shadowy movement out of the corner of my eye near the cabin house. Back in my native Scotland when we see such things we chalk it up to the fairy folk or some other such figment of imagination. I called out towards where the movement happened half expecting a response from one of the work crew. All I got in response was silence; the silence of anticipation of the unknown. Not being one or shirk my duties I moved toward the side of the cabin house and joined the shadows. I slowly made my way down the side of the pilot’s house when I heard muffled voices. Now I’m no student of language but I could have sworn it sounded like German. I hesitated a moment then I stole a peek around the corner. I made out three figures crouched near a now-open deck hatch. They had some device with wires falling from the back into the gaping hatch below. I was petrified. I knew that something had to be done and I knew that I couldn’t do it alone. I began making plans to exit the ship and to bring back help. But I wasn’t alone watching the trio on the deck.

“Good evening, gentlemen.” A cheerful voice announced as he stepped from the opposite side of the pilothouse. “Which one of you is Thummel?” This new man was of average height and build. He wore a three-quarter length coat and held what appeared to be a pocket watch in his hand. I could tell that he was not a part of the trio by the look of detection on the others faces.

“Who are you?” one of the men said stepping into the light so that I could clearly see who he was – it was Charlie Thorne. He and I began working together about the same time. It couldn’t have been more than a month. His words were phrased in the King’s English with no German accent whatsoever. “How do you know that name?”

“Oh what’s in a name?” the man asked. “What’s important is that you are working for and are under the direction of one Frederick Hinsch.” I couldn’t help but see the fear rip through the trio as they wordlessly confirmed the question that the stranger had posed.

“Kill him!” Thorne shouted as one of the lackeys reached under his coat and pulled out a revolver.

I could take no more and jumped from the shadows, “Look out!” Suddenly all eyes were upon me. The lackey with the gun pointed it in my direction but instead of pulling the trigger, he began to violently shake where he stood. He collapsed in fits while his gun clattered to the deck and slid over the side of the ship. His two remaining comrades began to spasm and collapsed along side him completely unconscious. One of them almost tumbled into the hold of the ship. I looked to the stranger who had his pocket watch pointing in my direction.

“Who are you?” I asked. It took a long while for him to answer as if some great battle of outcomes were raging in his mind. He took a deep breath and took a look at his pocket watch. I noticed that there was some sort of glowing image hovering between the hinged lid and the watch face itself before he snapped it shut and returned it to his pocket.

“I am Professor Cornelius Augustus Atoz and who might you be?” He asked.

“Warren McLaughlin – I’m a longshoreman. I work here.” I said.

“Thank you for saving my life.” Atoz said.

“Saving your life?” I heard the words coming out of my mouth but they were distant; far off like they weren’t even mine at all. I looked at the figures sprawled on the deck. “…Are they?”

“Alive? – Yes they are, mind you they’ll be a bit out of sorts when they wake up but yes, they are alive.” He motioned me to join him as we moved closer towards their collapsed forms. “Allow me to introduce our tormentors,” he said pointing to each fallen man on the deck, “This is Frederick Hinsch – the leader of a pack of German saboteurs, Theodore Wozniak – the guy with the gun and Curt Thummel – munitions expert.”

“Munitions expert? That’s insane. He’s Charlie Thorne we’ve worked together right here for the last month! We load ships.”

“What do you load?” He asked interrupting my train of thought.

“Ships.”

“…Onto the ships. What do you load?”

“Munitions. We are a munitions depot.”

“Exactly. Now where was this ship heading?” He asked. As he did so his facial features lifted as if willing me to see the big picture as to what I was saying. It was a bit infuriating.

“Great Britain.” I said. A sudden lurching in my stomach occurred as I began to connect the dots. “Oh my… If this were to have gone off the explosion would have been…”

“Immense – probably about a 5.5 on the Richter scale. Now let’s see here…” the odd man said as he knelt down and fiddled with the device with the wires. He ripped them from the back and threw the contraption over the side of the ship. “Say Warren,” he said with a smile, “I could use a hand getting rid of the rest of the explosives from the hold and putting these gentlemen somewhere safe.”

“Somewhere safe?” I repeated. Once more the sound of my own voice was distant and adrift.

“Warren. Are you with me?” he asked with a smile.

“Yes. Yes of course.” And with that we got to work. It didn’t take long for us to find the explosives in the hold of the vessel all we had to do was follow the wires. Now as for putting the gentlemen ‘somewhere safe’ – that’s where things began to get strange. The good professor and I dragged them to the inside of the pilothouse.

“So what happens now?” I asked beginning to wonder if Atoz was going to alert the authorities or not.

“What do you know of the nature of time, Warren?” he asked.

“Not much, save that it flies when you’re having fun.” I said.

“Ha! Too true.” He said. “What if I were to say to you that time is a river. It flows from the mountains of creation to the oceans of the future. It exists and has always existed. As finite beings, it is impossible to perceive this concept on the whole – it’s simply too big for our minds to grasp. Unless, of course, you've been on the shoreline.”

“…The shoreline?” I asked.

“Yes – from the shoreline you can watch the river traverse the banks and plunge in wherever – whenever you want.”

“That’s daft.” I said. Though, if the truth be known, I was beginning to have several doubts as to the nature and being of this man called Professor Atoz. “It’s not possible.”

“Just bear with me Warren. Now suppose you could go back and make changes.”

“Changes?”

“Yes. Subtle changes here and there to produce better outcomes than the ones that fate, Father Time or the ones who exist outside the river of time have planned.”

“Ones outside the river of time?” I asked meekly.

“Focus Warren, this is not about them – it’s about right now; it’s about you and me and how we just saved millions of lives.”

“…What?”

“What time is it?” Atoz asked.

“I don’t know – you’re the one with that fancy watch.” I said.

“So I am.” He said reaching for his watch. “2:40 AM. Warren, what if I were to tell you that in another timeline we didn’t stop these three.” He gestured at the crumpled trio at our feet. “What if I were to tell you that at 2:11 AM the explosion happened; that it shook the Brooklyn Bridge, that the Statue of Liberty was damaged, that the tremors were felt as far away as Philadelphia and that lives were lost.”

“I’d say that a trip to Bellevue might be in order.” I was beginning to plot my own escape.

“I know that it is much to grasp. That’s why I’m going to show you.” He said and with that he turned to the wall that was behind him blank as the crest of the new fallen New York snow. He tapped his knuckles twice and something odd happened – an arched indentation rippled into existence. Impossibly stonework began to take shape in the archway and a heavy oak door with wrought iron hinges appeared. Atoz grasped the heavy iron latch and opened the door. Light poured into the pilothouse – light from the opening of that impossible door.

“Could you get his feet?” Atoz asked.

“…What?” I asked.

“Could you this one’s feet? They’ll be waking in a half hour or so and I’d like to have them somewhere safe when that happens.

“Where are we putting them?” I asked.

“It’s more like when are we putting them really.” He replied grabbing the shoulders of the first saboteur.

“You mean we are putting them into another time?” I asked. This concept was at once completely foreign and frightening to me.

“Well for the most part.” He said. “It’s really a pocket universe that I discovered for times such as these.”

“Pocket universe?” I asked grabbing the man’s legs and lifting.

“Yes. This particular world is now unpopulated… well, save for three soon to be new citizens.” He said as we, with Atoz in the lead, stepped into the world beyond the door. Of all things we were in a stable. We repeated this twice more, leaving the men there on the floor of the stable. When this was finished I looked at the Professor and as the thought came to my mind he began to speak once more.

“Warren, you are a good man. I am in need of good men for the task that is ahead of me. No doubt as you have probably wondered, it would have been easy to stun you and leave you here to increase the population of this world by one more. But that wouldn’t be very sporting – would it?” He smiled.

“You said that we saved millions of people tonight. How can this be?” I asked.

“Next year Woodrow Wilson will call for war on Germany. The U.S. Congress will declare it on April 6th and then, as they say, the rest is history.” He said.

I shuddered at this. It was as if someone had walked across my grave. Wilson never wanted in the war – he was an isolationist. But by blowing this place sky high the Germans would be pushing him onto a course of action that would throw the world into war. Then I considered our intervention and its repercussions. “I would have died tonight in the explosion – wouldn’t I?”

Atoz looked at me with eyes that just may have watched the pyramids being built or the Celts erecting Stonehenge. An odd figure who has inserted himself both into and out of our known history. “You would have been vaporized at 2:11 AM.” He said.

“So I’m living on borrowed time?” I asked.

“We all are, Warren.” He said. “What do you say we go get a pint and talk about what’s going to happen next.”

I looked at the man before me and thought of all the wonders that I had beheld and at all of the wonders the unwritten future could hold and in an instant my lot was cast.

“Yes. I’d like that. I’d like that a lot.”

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Lee the Horse Logger


Mother Hen introduced me to this interesting fellow… http://www.leehorselogger.com/index.html. He’s Lee, the Horse Logger.

Who?

LEE, the Horse Logger; under the section on his web page that proudly states, “Living Life in the Slow Lane” it is clearly stated, “… Lee has no agenda, is not endorsing or protesting anything. He is not raising money for a cause or selling anything. He is just living life to the fullest.” And THAT is a beautiful thing. You see Lee is traveling cross county journey to see what’s out there. As his website explains Lee built a covered wagon which is pulled by draft horses. He set out from East Glacier, Montana on August 9, 2006 to travel cross-country to visit his childhood sweetheart. He depends mostly upon the kindness of strangers in this quest.

Here’s an interview with Lee that succinctly explains what he’s all about… http://www.ellenvillejournal.com/2008/01/03/news/2.html. When asked about lessons learned and funny stories Lee says, “I learned that people are people. The other lesson there is if you choose to attract problems they will come to you guaranteed. If you choose to attract and give positive energy that will come too.”

I like this guy way better than Dr. Phil on a good day. There’s another interesting soul out there on America’s byways. They are out there you just got to know where to look.

Ride on Lee, ride on.

Weird England


I’ve always wanted to go to England with the family; Cardiff, Stratford on the Avon, Big Ben, London, Piccadilly Circus, Liverpool… Please, simply amazing. Now I’ve got another reason. Mark Moran and Mark Sceurman are producing a new book written by Matt Lake, “Weird England”, see: http://www.amazon.com/Weird-England-Matt-Lake/dp/1402742290/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1201487017&sr=8-1 OR http://www.weirdnj.com/store/product.php?productid=16164&cat=249&page=1.

The Marks are famous around these parts as being the minds behind the greatest magazine in the known universe, “WEIRD NJ”. If you aren’t familiar with said text please see, http://www.weirdnj.com/misc/main.asp. If you want to see what it’s like to take the roads less traveled click away and start planning your own trip on the Weird side.

I love Weird NJ. The pair had a short-lived TV series on the History Channel. The network just didn’t get it and they were relegated to rerun purgatory. That’s too bad because the Marks would be perfect bookends to the Discovery Channel lineup of shows such as “Dirty Jobs” and “Mythbusters”. Yeah, these Jersey Boys would fit in just fine, thank you very much.

But I digress.

I’ll be picking up a copy of their latest tome, checking out Google Earth and the travel guides. It is important to plan for such contingencies…

I guess it’s time to get a passport.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

The 2008 Academy Awards


Thanks to Ain’t it Cool News for generating the following list. And the Nominations are…

Best Actor
George Clooney - Michael Clayton
Daniel Day-Lewis - There Will Be Blood
Johnny Depp - Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street
Tommy Lee Jones - In The Valley Of Elah
Viggo Mortensen - Eastern Promises

Best Supporting Actor
Casey Affleck - The Assassination of Jesse James By The Coward Robert Ford
Javier Bardem - No Country For Old Men
Philip Seymour Hoffman - Charlie Wilson's War
Hal Holbrook - Into The Wild
Tom Wilkinson - Michael Clayton

Best Actress
Cate Blanchett - Elizabeth: The Golden Age
Julie Christie - Away From Her
Marion Cotillard - La Vie En Rose
Laura Linney - The Savages
Ellen Page - Juno

Best Supporting Actress
Cate Blanchett - I'm Not There
Rudy Dee - American Gangster
Saoirse Ronan - Atonement
Amy Ryan - Gone Baby Gone
Tilda Swinton - Michael Clayton

Best Animated Feature
Persepolis
Ratatouille
Surf's Up

Art Direction
American Gangster
Atonement
The Golden Compass
Sweeney Todd
There Will Be Blood

Cinematography
The Assassination of Jesse James By The Coward Robert Ford
Atonement
The Diving Bell And The Butterfly
No Country For Old Men
There Will Be Blood

Costume Design
Across The Universe
Atonement
Elizabeth: The Golden Age
La Vie En Rose
Sweeney Todd

Best Director
Julian Schnabel - The Diving Bell And The Butterfly
Jason Reitman - Juno
Tony Gilroy - Michael Clayton
Joel & Ethan Coen - No Country For Old Men
Paul Thomas Anderson - There Will Be Blood

Best Documentary Feature
No End In Sight
Operation Homecoming: Writing The Wartime Experience
Sicko
Taxi To The Dark Side
War/Dance

Best Documentary Short Subject
Freeheld
La Corona (The Crown)
Salim Baba
Sari's Mother

Best Editing
The Bourne Ultimatum
The Diving Bell And The Butterfly
Into The Wild
No Country For Old Men
There Will Be Blood

Best Foreign Language Film
Beaufort
The Counterfeiters
Katyn
Mongol
12

Best Makeup
La Vie En Rose
Norbit
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End

Best Music Original Score
Atonement
The Kite Runner
Michael Clayton
Ratatouille
3:10 To Yuma

Best Music - Original Song
Once
Enchanted
August Rush
Enchanted
Enchanted

Best Picture
Atonement
Juno
Michael Clayton
No Country For Old Men
There Will Be Blood

Best Animated Short Film
I Met The Walrus
Madame Tutli-Putli
MĂŞme Les Pigeons vont Au Paradis (Even Pigeons Go to Heaven)
My Love (Moya Lyubov)
Peter & The Wolf

Best Live Action Short Film
At Night
Il Supplente (The Substitute)
Le Mozart Des Pickpokets
Tanghi Argentini
The Tonto Woman

Best Sound Editing
The Bourne Ultimatum
No Country For Old Men
Ratatouille
There Will Be Blood
Transformers

Best Sound Mixing
The Bourne Ultimatum
No Country For Old Men
Ratatouille
3:10 To Yuma
Transformers

Best Visual Effects
The Golden Compass
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End
Transformers

Adapted Screenplay
Atonement
Away From Her
The Diving Bell And The Butterfly
No Country For Old Men
There Will Be Blood

Original Screenplay
Juno
Lars and the Real Girl
Michael Clayton
Ratatouille
The Savages

All Right Then… I will reserve my picks until I’ve seen more of the movies. Even though I can not see them all I will be making a post closer to broadcast time about who will win and who should win.

I’m curious as to just how the writer’s strike will affect the broadcast? I don’t know. There are people saying that they will not cross the picket lines.

I respect that.

Most of the time I’m only interested in who wins, their acceptance speeches and the retrospectives. This year I’m interested to see who will cross the picket lines IF the strike is still going on. Who knows if the strike is still on perhaps it will cut down on the insipid use of interpretive dancing to movie scores.

Why even have that?

Believe me – it is superfluous and should be cut anyway. Give the people more time to say what they have to say – whatever they have to say. In theory, these people – the nominees have worked their entire careers to win the approval of their peers and they get pushed out of rotation because of some dancing jackass?

Welcome to Hollywood.

Coffee Shop Update


I ran into another cool spot to grab a cup of coffee today. I’ve seen it before but never had the chance to visit – until today. I now have to add this place to my existing list of favorite places to grab a cup of coffee. For Evil Chicken’s Official Coffee House of Fame list see: http://evilchickenscratch.blogspot.com/2007/11/coffee-history.html. Anyway, I digress the place is called Beans Coffee Shop and its located in Woodstown, NJ on North Main Street. I had a large Guatemalan that had a lot of character and was eyeballing the home made pastries. Reminding myself that I’m a low carb cowboy these days I creamed and Splenda’d my coffee and left.

I swiped one of their cards, which also makes mention of being an Espresso Bar, specializing in teas and serving lunch & dinner. I didn’t get anything to eat but the salads looked good. The shop has all that one would want in a place to meet friends and discuss the important matters of the day. Music, ambiance, wifi, art, and photography, old baseball uniforms – the place has a great vibe. I’m only sorry that I was just passing through.

I’ll be back though… oh yes, I’ll be back. And I’ll be bringing Chickens with me!

WHAT!?

Heath Ledger was found dead today with a bottle of sleeping pills nearby. It is unclear if it was a suicide or not. Here is the story from Yahoo News: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080122/ap_on_en_mo/obit_ledger_19.

Too sad.

Ledger was more than on his way to being a fixture in cinema. Although the details are unclear of his death my thoughts and prayers go out to his friends and family.

Too soon.

Monday, January 21, 2008

Devil Annuls Parker’s Marriage


Precautionary note for you Gentle Reader: if you do not know who Peter Parker is and that he is married to Mary Jane Watson-Parker just skip this particular blog entry; although, if the truth were told, this is more about cohesive writing than comic book characters – so I guess I’ll leave it up to you…

Many moons ago I read a lot of comic books. I had subscriptions pulled for me and I’d faithfully march to the shop every other week or so to keep up with the chosen titles that I read. There were the Batman books, the Superman books and the Spiderman books; all wonderful escapist reading. I came to comic books seriously in college. I didn’t have time to read the headier stuff; I was working full time, going to school full time and just married – you could say I was a busy guy and comics filled a niche. I could read them and still manage to do all the crazy things that my schedule dictated that I needed to do. I got my dose of heroic fiction – which, by the way, has been the bread and butter of storytellers for the last several millennia or so. Simple three act structure – a beginning, a middle and an end. A protagonist faces a challenge, does something (or nothing) and ends up living (or dying) with the consequences.

There – that’s it; deceptively simple really.

“Where are you going Evil Chicken?” Please forgive my ramblings, Gentle Reader, it’s important to understand that stories have structure. Exhibit A: the cave wall. The story – the tribe was hungry so we took some pointy sticks, killed a mighty beast, have feasted on its flesh and now we telling the story, bathed in light from the fire on the wall of our cave. Simple. The tribe had a problem, they did something about it and they had a resolution. Now wouldn’t it be cheesy if instead of hunting a beast Og woke up and realized it was all just a dream and the tribe had plenty of food after all? Or suppose Og is visited by some magical fairy that waves its wand and POOF; there’s food for the tribe.

That’s weak. That’s a writer’s convenience. I am not currently a professional writer and I have been turned down by some pretty good literary magazines in my time. I freely admit that I’m a hack but even a hack can see that is sloppy writing. It cheats the reader, viewer and/or listener. The Greeks called this device deus ex machina. When there was a problem that needed solving in some Greek Tragedy a god would be lowered on a crane to make everything better. Well, the same thing is going on – right now, mind you, in the pages of Spiderman. You see the devil (Mephisto in the Marvel Universe) pops up and makes an offer for Peter to save his dear Aunt May from death – all he has to do is forfeit all memory and knowledge of his wife and the years that they have been together. The trick, since Mephisto savors torturing souls is that Mary Jane retains all of her memories.

Now let me say in all reality it’s not fair for me to say this since I haven’t read Spiderman in years BUT this sort of smacks of deus ex machina – no? It’s an easy fix. Chances are marrying off superheroes isn’t the best of all possible worlds. Spiderman has a certain range and while there’s a lot going on in the life of Peter Parker the simple fact is that your friendly neighborhood Spiderman has been for the last 20 years or so, your friendly neighborhood married guy; probably not what Stan Lee and Steve Ditko had in mind when a gangly teenager was bitten by a radioactive spider back in the sixties. Erik Larson, comic writer and artist made some pretty good points on the issue here: http://www.comicbookresources.com/columns/index.cgi?column=ofo&article=2972.

Still this may be entirely too early to call since, much like our world, in the comic book world anything can happen and usually will. I’m still pulling for Marvel to do right by the character and the fans – they both deserve a little more respect than that.

I’ve got to get back to a comic shop.

Cloverfield – A Retrospective


Be ye warned… there be spoilers ahead.

I just got back from a matinee showing of “Cloverfield”. JJ Abrams and company have put together a hip little survival horror film with this one. The film, as has been described previous on this little ole blog, is “Godzilla” meets “The Blair Witch Project” and – yup, that’s about right. The story never attempts to explain just what the monster is or where it came from and that’s a good thing since the story unfolds through the lens of a digital handheld camera as seen by an impromptu group of documentary filmmakers. The premise is that this camcorder was found after the event in a place that used to be called Central Park, NY and is now designated by the United States Government as section Cloverfield.

The monster is what it is (whatever that is) – the friends must accept that and try to survive. The monster could be an allegory for almost anything big and bad – terrorist attacks, natural disasters, big monsters that usually attack Tokyo, whatever. I’d like to think that it’s some sort of H.P. Lovecraft-ian version of Cthulhu. From what I understand the head of the Statue of Liberty that bounces off a skyscraper and comes to a scraping stop in the street is homage to the poster from “Escape from New York”. This makes my geek heart smile. The cast of (currently) “unknown” actors is imperative to having the plot as realistic as possible. You couldn’t have pulled it off with a cast of established personalities. As with “The Blair Witch Project”, to suspend belief in what’s happening within the film the actors had to be “real”. It’s a great cast and they really pull it off.

It is a good time at the movies and at the end of the day isn’t that what you went there for in the beginning? There’s some really cool stuff that should be witnessed on the big screen BUT be forewarned the jerkiness of the camera, the movement and at times the angles of the shots will begin to turn your stomach. Grab your Dramamine and wash it down with whatever you can smuggle in from Wawa (since a small soda is currently $4.50 at the theater). It will make you woozy. I know that I was. I’m sure that I missed some things but it couldn’t be avoided.

I am truly looking forward to the next JJ Abrams produced picture – Star Trek 11. Abrams co-created “Alias”, “Lost” and is rumored to be bringing Stephen King’s “Dark Tower” series to life on either the big screen or HBO.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Giant Monster Eats City


“Cloverfield” opens tomorrow (1/18/08). What’s that? Well it’s a movie produced by J.J. Abrams (the same guy who is making the next Star Trek film) about a giant monster that attacks New York City. It’s told from the perspective of a small group of people who document what’s going on around them with a digital video camera – think of it as “Godzilla” meets “Blair Witch”.

http://www.cloverfieldmovie.com/

Yeah, good times… good times… It should be fun BUT what will probably push me over the edge and buy a ticket is the teaser trailer for Star Trek 11 (please see attached picture ala Ain’t It Cool News).

Yep. I do believe a trip to the theater is in order.

Saturday, January 12, 2008

From Then to Now


I have two boxes of photos here in the room where my laptop usually sits. One box is full of pictures of actual events that I remember and was, to some extent or another, involved in – the other box is full of memories of another man – that man was my father. Every now and again I pull the box down, rummage and wonder about the images I see there. I have reached a point in my life where there is no one left to answer my questions as to whom the people in the photos may be or rather, who the people were.

I can hear my father there – at least a remembrance of things said. With this box of pictures sometimes I can make a match between what Dad told me and a photo of the genuine article. I remember hearing about his Indian Motorcycle – now I’ve seen it. The Hot Dog stand that the family ran at the Wildwood boardwalk – seen it. Duke, Dad’s dog – plain as day. The Acropolis and sailors on shore leave now have pictures to match their stories. Then there are the ones that I’ll never know like the inspiration for the freshly inked tattoo of a schooner under full sail on my Dad’s left bicep, or the woman he is passionately kissing on and under the boardwalk who is not my mother (although it could be his first wife). The pictures look as if Marlon Brando came to Dad to research his look for “The Wild One” – a film that came out in 1953 and these photos are taken a year or two before that release date. Bit of a Greaser Dad was.

Then there are the cards and the postcards. Dad was in the navy and served on the U.S.S. Columbus CA-74. I know this because I have a Christmas card that was in the box too. It’s to my grandmother. There is a green drawing of the vessel just above center and a red anchor line around the boarder. The inside of the card reads, “This ain’t much of a card is it – Reckon it says just about what an expensive one does though. Tell Nanny Merry Christmas for me. Can’t get any better cards. I’ll get better ones for you when I get back.” I have no idea who “Nanny” is. Dad never spoke of his grandparents and since it is hand written the name could also be either Mary or Danny depending on how one reads the script. Another example is a postcard sent from Barcelona Spain with a picture of the city on the front and on the back, “Howdy Mom – the Admiral (6th fleet) leaves at 1100 today. Maybe we’ll be getting underway for Tangiers North Africa tomorrow. The New Port News is tied up alongside us now. Sure is a clean looking ship – ours is better though.”

I called in Chick 1.0 (my 15 year-old daughter) and showed her the contents of the box. “See this guy?” I asked showing her the picture of the guy with the wavy slicked back black hair, white ¼ sleeve tee shirt and new tattoo passionately kissing some woman who is not her grandmother.

“He’s a Greaser. A pimp of the past.” She said.

“He’s your grandfather.”

We both giggled and gleefully went through the rest of the box for the next hour of so. I told her all I could which wasn’t too much. The box itself is now like a postcard. The stamps are from ports of call around the world, the memories are not mine but there is a familiarity to them all the same.

The address reads, “from then to now”.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

The Life of an Explorer


Sir Edmund Hillary has passed on. Here is the announcement from Radio New Zealand News: http://www.radionz.co.nz/news/latest/200801111143/sir_edmund_hillary_is_dead.

This was a man who knew that life is an adventure and lived it accordingly. Wikipedia, my favorite second brain says, “On 29 May 1953 he and Sherpa mountaineer Tenzing Norgay became the first climbers known to have reached the summit of Mount Everest…” Check it out for yourself here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sir_Edmund_Hillary.

The lion’s share of the map is now filled in. This process happened because of men like Hillary. Of course there is more to discover… more to explore but the simple truth is that the world is smaller now – it has shrunk. Men and women like Edmund Hillary saw to that. Today we can easily sit and watch groups of people attempt to ascend Everest on the Discovery Channel with a simple flick of our remote control; such was not the case when Hillary and Norgay made their climb. It’s getting harder and harder to point to a living example of an explorer.

Today that very short list got even shorter.

Oh that we develop the eyes to see the wonder around us. My thoughts and prayers are with his friends and family at this time.

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Will Blu-ray Rule Them All?

As the Businessweek (http://www.businessweek.com/globalbiz/content/jan2008/gb2008018_681920.htm?c) article says, “Warner announced on Jan. 4 that it would release only high-definition Blu-ray movies starting July, ending its support for the rival HD DVD format.”

That about sinks the battleship. The battle for the future is almost over – there can be only one. Hold on a tick… maybe I can squeak out one more clichĂ©…

…Nope. Sorry, I’ve got nuthin.

“Evil Chicken, what are you talking about?” you may ask; and might I just add, that’s a wonderful question, Gentle Reader. The Businessweek article does a very good job of explaining things. The battle for the future is the battle for how media is going to be sold to us in all of its High Def goodness in the days to come when we all have HDTVs and Blu-ray disc players to replace our DVDs (and DVD players too, I might add). This war has been brewing for the last few years as time and technology march forward High Def is quickly becoming the shape of things to come. So, just how will studios peddle their High Def wares to us? Well there are two choices; the HD DVD format and Blu-ray. Blu-ray is winning. Disney went exclusive Blu-ray early into the fray – that was an important battle. Now with Warner and their voluminous catalog of film going exclusively Blu-ray that just may have been the decisive battle.

I currently own neither. If I were to make the jump Blu-ray would, most likely, be the smarter choice at this point. Buying an HD DVD player would be like buying a Betamax player back in the eighties when VHS is about to become the alpha-video player. One could make an argument that Betamax was better than VHS but the market decided who won that war. This time Blu-ray can actually hold a lot more information on a disc than an HD DVD so, in essence, the better mousetrap may be about to win this go round.

What will the future look like – or rather, what will the next format be? I bet it’ll be something akin to an MP3 or audio file; yup, just a file that you can download. Really – why take up all that space in your living room when you can be jacked into the central nervous system of your home and rent or purchase movies, music, as well as, cable and network programming with the press of a button or monthly subscription? It could all be stored in flash memory since archaic things like hard drives (with moving parts, mind you) are destine to get broken. Hey, while we’re at it, isn’t it time to get that big ole HDTV? You know the one – the 50-inch LCD with that magic number “1080p” attached to it – or better yet, how about that 150-inch plasma from Panasonic.

…Oh yes…

HD DVD cancelled their presentation at the Consumer Electronics Show 2008 after Warner made the announcement on January 4. That doesn’t bode too well either. So hold your stock in Sony and sell your holdings with HD DVD. Let’s see here… that’s five out of seven major studios supporting Blu-ray (according to the above article)?

The fat lady is clearing her throat.