2011 Non – Resolutions

There is a lot of craziness that happens here at Rancho del Evil Chicken. We’ve had an interesting year. I’m not going to rehash such events… if they were blog-worthy then you probably know about them already. If they were not fit for blog-consumption then they never made the electronic pages of Chicken Scratch.

Oh well.

After getting into a lot of trouble this past year (most of it legal, I might add) I find that it’s good to have a plan of attack. This being said some of the best adventures are spur of the moment jaunts that only require my cache bag or a change of clothes for yours truly and the family. Still it’s good to have some sort of idea of where you’re hoping to head. It should be noted that this is in NO WAY related to any type of ‘resolution’. In the words of Jimmy Buffett, “I’ll make a resolution that I’ll never make another one.” Bubba’s right. I’m not talking resolutions, I’m talking possible outcomes. That being said here are some of the things that I would like to see transpire in the new year…

1. I want to do some camping. We missed out on Assateague Island camping this past father’s day and I’d love to go back. I also wouldn’t mind camping at Point Lookout State Park in Maryland or several other destinations. That being said I am lusting after an RV. Confession is good for the soul.
2. Geo-Woodstock IX. This is on the list of possibilities.
3. Read more comic books.
4. I want to figure out the best way to wear my watch – top of the wrist or slung on the bottom. Hard to say. Now that I’m packin’ a solar atomic perhaps topside is the way to go …still I’m used to the underside. In the coming year I want to decide on what is best for my chronometer.
5. Read more eBooks.
6. Geocache more. There was a time when we did a lot of caching. That time is not now. These days we attend more events then we actually cache. I’d like to turn that around.
7. Eat more Sushi.
8. I want my oldest daughter to get her license. For far too long I have had to drive to Wawa for coffee. NAY! Says I. During this New Year SHE’S gonna get a license so I can send her on coffee runs.
9. Be a part of at least one book signing.
10. I need to be at the opening night showings for the following movies: “Green Lantern”, “THOR”, “Captain America – the First Avenger”, “Sucker Punch”, “Rise of the Apes”, “Pirates of the Caribbean – On Stranger Tides”, “X-Men – First Class”, “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part II” AND “Cowboys & Aliens”. Why the Need? Well, I detest the idea of people spoiling movies / deflating stories for me. It’s not their job but so many are so good at it that it is best if I just go to the theater. It’s part of my geekdom and it’s a ‘win – win’.
11. Figure out what a good birthday present and anniversary present would be for Mother Hen. This is not as easy as it sounds. I’m open for suggestions.
12. Figure out online storage.
13. Be a better coupon shopper.
14. I want to do New York City with the family. I figure that it’ll be a nice long weekend – hopefully during the Cherry Blossom Festival in Brooklyn. “Brennan & Carr’s” roast beef is calling… so is “Forbidden Planet” and Times Square. Yup, I want to be a tourist.
15. I want to take the family to Sleepy Hollow, New York. I have only wanted to do this for the last 5 years or so. In 2011 I’d like to see it come to pass.
16. Listen to more MP3s.
17. Get passports for the family. They’ll come in handy if we decide to push north, to hop on a cruise ship or to Europe or China.
18. Continue to maintain a flushing toilet.
19. To make Kenji the happiest dog known to man.
20. Get into more trouble with my family. Not to pat ourselves on the back but we’re good at it. Such shenanigans should continue.

There is nothing too serious on this list. For a hopefully refreshing change I’m pulling back on the whole ‘drama’ reigns. I have a more serious list (still sans resolutions) but that’s not what this particular list is all about. While there’s nothing too out of step on the above list I’d like to think that it’ll be worth our time. And time, I don’t have to tell you by now… what a fleeting commodity it is.

What’s in YOUR plans for the New Year, Gentle Reader? Who knows, perhaps we can share an adventure or two together in 2011? I hope that will be the case.

Happy New Year!

TRON Legacy

I am of the geek generation that remembers and keeps the original “TRON” close to their heart. Yes it was the eighties. Yes the original is not an “A list” film. But who cares?

“Huh?”

I said, “WHO CARES?” It is TRON and it did far more to explain those new contraptions called “personal computers” than IBM ever did. You see with TRON there existed a world within a world. It was a world where programs were forced to fight for their lives on the games grid in hopes of surviving for the next battle and the chance of connecting with their User – you and I, Gentle Reader, here in the “real world”. I will be the first to say that YES the original was flawed. That being said I will also tell you that I LOVED the first film. I wanted to believe that those Basic programs that we were playing with had a life of their own. I wanted to believe that there was some connection, nay, some network out there where thought and idea and passion and creativity could live in harmony. I wanted to believe that communication could be free and powerful and available to the masses. TRON wanted to believe it too.

Fast forward about 28 years... It still wants to believe and so do I.

SPOILERS: If you wish to remain pure STOP READING NOW!

Still here?

Good.

Here is what I LOVED. TRON is back. It is not a reimagining – it’s a sequel! And, dare I say, to a film that deserved one. This film owes its existence to Comic Con. Two years ago a trailer was made and it shook the pillars of geek heaven. Disney took notice and BAM “TRON Legacy” became a reality. I loved seeing the Recognizers, the Light Cycles, the Tanks, the Grid and the Jeff Bridges as Flynn once more. Technically this is a beautiful and eye candy laden film. The battles on the Grid, the nostalgic scenes in “Flynn’s Arcade” and the Light Cycle stuff are banging enough to warrant the price of a ticket. If you are a child of the late seventies and early eighties you have a place at TRON.

That being said, here is what I would have liked to have seen. TRON. He’s there. You know that he is. It’s obvious. But this is (as with the first film) less about TRON and more about Flynn. TRON is delegated to a lackey in a faceless helmet. This time around I’d expect a little more. TRON is Darth Vader in this one. He is the program that NO ONE wants to face on the Grid. Clu, Jeff Bridges / Flynn’s ageless digital doppelganger and all around bad guy has enslaved TRON into being an unbeatable bad ass / enforcer figure that only a User (Sam – Flynn’s son) can almost challenge. There is a brief moment of faceless recognition and redemption but it is BRIEF! I want TRON!

Come to think of it I’d also like to see Yori. There are female programs out there too. Also there was a cameo that I was REALLY pulling for – I wanted to see the “Tron Guy” someplace – anyplace in this film! He would have been a VERY welcome little aside. Producers: if there is to be a third (and I am pulling for one) Do Not Overlook the Tron Guy. Hey Daft Punk got their cameo (Brilliant soundtrack BTW) why not Tron guy?

What else do I want? I want TRON’s world to be hooked into the our current understanding of the world of computing. I don’t want TRON on Flynn’s personal server; no I want him on the World Wide Web, Baby! I want TRON global. When you go to Facebook I want to know that programs lives are at stake! I want to know that there are programs fighting for every transaction you make in Farmville or in Mafia Wars. I want to see it. I want to see libraries of programs working for Wikipedia or Google or Bing. I want to see epic battles of Networks VS Viruses. I want to understand their world by understanding ours. I want to see some correlation between the world of TRON and our everyday – fact searching, internet using, Facebook & Twitter incorporating world. Bring it on.

NOTE: Remember when I said “SPOILERS”? Also, I want to understand the ending. Quara is here in our world. I can see Users being digitized into the world of TRON but having programs re-digitized into our world – the real world, needs a little explanation. Something. Anything.

Come to think of it why doesn’t Sam show her a sunrise?

I do not wish to leave you with the idea that I was completely disappointed. No, that is simply not the case. I dug “TRON Legacy” and the only issues I had were that ones that I have already discussed. To the creative talent and purse holders at Disney – Please, PLEASE, PLEASE! consider TRON 3.0. All of the questions could have answers and YOU guys are off to a wonderful Act III!

“So Evil Chicken, should I buy a ticket?”

Yes, Gentle Reader, do so. You will not be disappointed with the performances of Mr. Jeff Bridges as both Flynn and Clu or with the absolutely wonderful eye candy that the Grid will provide. Support this movie. I REALLY want a part III!

So will you, Gentle Reader, so will you.

End of line…

LOST

This past Sunday the family piled into the car to go to see “A Christmas Carol” at the McCarter Theater in Princeton. It was an unbelievable production that I could not recommend higher. I could go on but that is not really what this tale is about. You see when we returned from North Jersey back to our home in South Jersey a certain something was missing – that something was our dog, “Kenji”. Kenji is a Japanese Chin (think hairy pug) with the gentlest of dispositions and temperaments. In our haste to get into the car and onto the road we must not have seen him slip out the door.

“Kenji is missing.” My wife said to me. It was an instant after we got home.

“What – how is that possible?” I knew it was unanswerable as soon as I asked.

We grabbed flashlights and took to the woods.

“KENJI!” we repeated again and again into the cold, cold darkness.

Nothing.

He was gone.

We ushered the kids inside while my wife and I took an extensive driving tour of our immediate neighborhood. He is a small dog and he really couldn’t get too far if he tried. We scoured the roads looking for something we didn’t want to see but had to rule out.

Nothing.

We rejoined the kids at home agreeing that not finding his body was a good sign and we concluded that he must have been picked up. We explained the situation to the family and formulated a plan to call the local shelters in the morning & the municipal building for animal control & to make and distribute “LOST DOG” signs for the local Wawa.

We cried.

We prayed.

The next day I started calling. I spoke with a wonderful lady named Cathleen who works at the Buena Vista municipal building concerning our situation. She took my information, description and cell number. She said that she would follow up with the animal control officer to see if he had picked up any small, white dogs with tan spots. I thanked her and called the Cumberland County SPCA. They weren’t open, apparently on Mondays they open at 1:00 PM. I called the Atlantic County Animal Shelter. They had no dogs that fit Kenji’s description. After 1:00 PM I paid a visit to the Cumberland County SPCA. They were crazy busy. I gave a woman Kenji’s description and my cell number. She told me to take a seat while she checked to see if there were any dogs that matched Kenji’s description in the back.

They did not.

We drove out to “Ron’s Animal Shelter”. Ron told us that he only served Salem County.

We went home.

“We don’t know where Kenji is but we hope he is happy and safe. We don’t know if we will see him again.” We explained to the kids. Our youngest child’s face fell and she began to tear up.

So did I.

Sometimes you simply don’t realize how much you care about something until it’s gone. It is easy to take things for granted – as given. I mean Kenji is the sweetest dog that anyone could ask for and we let him slip out of our fingers. This gentle and trusting creature that we had taken care of for the last six years and who was a part of our family, our pack, was gone; just gone. Night time closed down upon once us again; a second night without our Kenji. Unanswerable questions lingered; was he safe? Was he happy? Was he even alive?

The next day I receive a call on my cell phone. It was Cathleen. “Someone has found your dog!”

“REALLY?!”

“Yes, but he’s been hit by a car.” She gave me a name and a number of a woman who had called to report that she had an injured little white dog with tan spots. “I knew it was your dog!” she said. I thanked her for everything she had done for my family. “Merry Christmas!” she said.

“MERRY CHRISTMAS!” I said.

I called my wife. She called the woman. My wife picked me up and explained to me that Kenji had been hit by a car, that one of his eyes was damaged, he had some teeth missing and he was not able to stand for long periods of time. We knew what that might mean. We wanted Kenji back but we certainly did not want to prolong any suffering that he may be enduring. We simply did not know so we drove on in silence neither of us voicing our concerns for whatever may come. Then we were there.

We met Emily and her husband Tim, the people who had saved our dog’s life. And then, there he was. He stumbled to his feet and his tail started to wag before he collapsed. Tim picked him up and put him onto a table in their kitchen. Kenji rolled over to have his belly scratched. I began to cry as I scratched away at this tiny 11 lbs bundle that had been the source of such concern and loss.

“He’s your dog.” Emily said. “I can tell. You never know these days. But he’s your dog.”

“We have a friend of ours who is a retired veterinarian and he came over with his kit. He’s had a cortisone shot and he has a concussion. I don’t know if he can see out of that eye.” Tim said.

“We don’t know how to thank you.” Linda said. “There is a reward…”

“As a reward for taking care of your dog we wanted to see if you had a church family and if you didn’t then we would like you to come to our church.” Emily said.

“We have a church family.” I said. “We go to Calvary Chapel in Vineland. In fact we’re doing a play…”

“That’s what we were doing Sunday night at our church in Milmay, the Milmay Christian Church, when I got the call from Billy saying that he had found a dog that had been hit by a car. He found him on the white line of the road and thought he was dead. That is until he got close enough and that little head looked up towards him.” Tim said. He brought him to our church. Everyone there helped. He wasn’t bleeding and it looked as if he didn’t have any broken bones but his core temperature was low. He was cold and wet and dying. He was just there in the road waiting to be hit again and that would have been it.”

“Unbelievable.” I said still scratching Kenji’s belly.

“We love animals and I’ve really taken to this little guy.” Tim said. “Anyway, he is having a hard time standing and is going to need some help going outside to the bathroom. When we first got him he couldn’t walk at all. He started trying to stand yesterday and now he is starting to walk again. All over the place but he’s improving. It’s neurological; probably from the concussion. He’ll be alright especially when he gets home to his own grounds.”

“He has his own Facebook page.” Emily said. “We had this dog and knew that he belonged to someone. While he was frozen and soaked we could smell the shampoo. We knew that there was a family out there somewhere who was searching for this little guy.”

“I don’t know how to thank you.” I said.

“Are you sure we can’t give you anything?” Linda asked.

“All we wanted was to use this situation as a chance to bring someone closer to the Lord.” Emily said. “But you are already part of a church family.”

We took Kenji outside and watched him stumble, wobble, fall and get back up again. “See! He couldn’t do that a few days ago.” Tim said. “He’s gonna be all right. It will just take some time.”

We thanked them again and took Kenji back home for a reunion which included tears and hugs and many, many belly scratches. Kenji is home again with his family. He’s mending and sore but he is back home with us for Christmas. We owe a debt to Billy, the man who stopped to scoop our dog off of the road, to Cathleen, the lady who put the pieces of the puzzle together and, of course, to Tim & Emily. We are so thankful and humbled for the kindness that they showed to a strange, helpless, injured creature on a dark, cold night. Their gesture reminds me of the reward that was refused but in a certain sense, received. They refused any monetary remuneration and instead gave all the glory to God. They never thought of themselves but thought of others knowing that by serving a helpless and wounded animal that they were really serving the Lord - for His glory. While we attend different churches we are a part of the same body – the same family. This Christmas season, Gentle Reader, know that you too can come home.

We are thankful.

What once was lost has now been found and just as Tiny Tim said in the play that we saw that fateful night that we first missed Kenji, “God bless us every one.”

Merry Christmas, Gentle Reader; God bless us, every one.

…Now if you’ll excuse me I have a belly to scratch.

Charlie Brown Christmas

Leslie Nielson

Leslie Nielson passed away this evening due to complications of pneumonia. He was 84. The man was in over 100 movies but for people in their 40s, my generation, probably knew him best as Dr. Rumack from “Airplane!” and as Lt. Frank Drebin from “The Naked Gun” trilogy. He was wonderful in “Creepshow” and as the Captain in “Forbidden Planet”.

Here are some articles that are more eloquent than this particular blog entry. I just wanted to mark his passing and, in some way, to say 'Thanks' for all the laughter.

http://www.aintitcool.com/node/47592

http://www.cnn.com/2010/SHOWBIZ/Movies/11/28/obit.leslie.nielsen/index.html

http://www.comingsoon.net/news/movienews.php?id=71940

The man made me laugh at times when I did not feel like doing so. Well done, Sir. Well done.

Godspeed.

The Comic Book Store

Here’s one for the True Believers out there…

I enjoy comics. I got into ‘em back in the late eighties. Found out that I couldn’t afford the luxury and took a long break. I have three daughters and as a cool way to get them into reading a few years ago I picked up another comic subscription. My youngest is a big fan of “Sonic the Hedgehog”, while my middle child is a HUGE Anime fan. My oldest likes “The Runaways” and as for yours truly I’m a sucker for “Ultimate Avengers”, “The Unwritten” and “The Invincible Iron Man”.

These days and for the last two years or so I have had the distinct pleasure of getting my comics from The Comic Book Store in Glassboro, New Jersey. Mr. Alex Willingly is the master of ceremonies and his Kung-Fu is strong. I am a comic book fan and his subscription service is second to none. I am not into gaming but I know people who are and The Comic Book Store has quite a following. Worlds of Warcraft (card game), Magic the Gathering, Dungeons & Dragons and Warhammer 40 K are played in tournament fashion all the time (check the calendar for exact times).

So, True Believers, the next time that you are in the Glassboro area check out The Comic Book Store. Alex is located at 30 North Main Street. 856-442-0402 is his number and http://thecomicbookstore.net/The_Comic_Book_Store/Welcome.html is his website.

Excelsior!

Black Friday

"When Black Friday comes, I’m gonna dig myself a hole. Gonna lay down in it ‘til I satisfy my soul". – Steely Dan

Yesterday was Thanksgiving. The family and I were heading home from my wife’s aunt’s house. It was 10:00 PM. On our way back home we decided to see if there was anyone in line yet for Black Friday, the official ‘first shopping day of the holiday season’ when stores are supposed to go from being ‘in the red’ to being ‘in the black’. This is the BIG day for merchants & holiday shoppers, advertising agencies & stockholders. This is the day that the general public has been programmed to respond to the endless barrage of sales pitches & ‘door buster sales’. It’s like we have been personally invited to SHOP and come skipped heating bills or bankruptcy THAT’S just what we’re gonna do!

Folks have been know to erect single file tent cities with sleeping bags & cots or to sit on foldable stadium chairs sipping on thermoses full of coffee just waiting for that magic moment for the doors to open at 4, 5, or 6 AM and for the carnage, that the holiday season has become, to begin. Now don’t get me wrong here, Gentle Reader; I’m not throwing stones. I can remember being in such lines waiting to get a ticket that guarantees my purchase for one of the limited number of ________ (insert item here) that the store had. I stood in line for a Nintendo Wii when they first came out and I remember one year when my wife and I were in line for an unbelievable deal on laptop computers that we actually did camp out for. This year – not so much; this is due to two clear and present factors. Factor 1, there is nothing this year that we deemed worth camping out for. Factor 2, even if Factor 1 was valid we don’t have the extra cash sitting aside to blow.

Where was I?

Oh right! It’s 10:00, we are heading home and we wanted to see if the lines were forming. Were the shoppers there? Yes they were. At Target – yes (to the corner of the sidewalk), at Wal-Mart – yes (with a police presence & barricades), at Best Buy – yes (to the corner of their sidewalk as well) but what really knocked my socks off was the magnitude and scope of the line at Toys-R-Us.

Wow.

In the generic shopping-scape of America there was a time when the ‘mall’ was the biggest fish in the ocean. Online shopping and the clustering of ‘shopping districts’ have taken a lot of the wind out of the sails of the malls across the country; still, however, they are large players. That being said, the Toys-R-Us that we past by is located in a mall and it happens to be, from the left of the hulk of the mall-complex, the second store in. From its position the line stretched to the left passed one, two department stores, the shopping mall entrance, around a corner and passed the J.C. Penny.

It was 10:30 PM.

By the time that I am posting this blog many of the ‘door buster’ sales will have come and gone leaving behind them a wake of chaos and destruction (you’ll have to trust me on this if you have never seen a crowd of angry holiday shoppers all competing for a ‘Tickle me Elmo’ or a laptop computer). It is scary out there. Our quest for material goods can compel little old ladies to become axe murderers. …Hey, if you play your cards right you could easily push down that group of orphans who have been pooling their money to buy that last X-box Kinect or trip that guy with the cane who wants a chance at buying his grand-daughter a netbook. They are not the uber-shopper that you are, stud.

Don’t be that guy. It’s just stuff. Really.

Please be careful out there, Gentle Reader – a holiday shopper is dangerous creature that, once provoked, can be treacherous. There are precious few souls I know who love a stampeding crowd.

So Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays. Grab your wallet & helmet and good luck soldier.

Danny MacAskill - "Way Back Home" - NEW street trials riding short film

This must be seen. Mr. Danny MacAskill is hypnotic in his movements and balance. Sit back, relax and prepare to be amazed.

Oh The Things I Could be Writing About

Please let it be known, Gentle Reader, I have never meant to abuse this blog. Hey, I love Chicken Scratch! That being said there have been some pretty cool things that have come and gone without me even typing a peep of it. That's too bad really. What can I say? Life has a way of encroaching on the things that we would really like to be doing verses the things that must take priority as a means of getting things done.

Here is a brief list of stuff that I really should be writing about but, for one reason or another, have not...

1. The Christmas play, "Glorious Impossibilities" by Kathryn Ross is coming up at my church and I'm still trying to learn my lines. It is gonna be a blast this year - seriously. I get to unleash my inner Stooge. I am really excited about this one. If you can make it come on out!

2. Work. I make a clear effort to never discuss work here on Chicken Scratch. Let's just say there's been some interesting things afoot.

3. We, the EC-5 went to Washington DC for the Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear on 10/30/10. I have a thing for John Stewart and Steven Colbert. They did not disappoint. I will be blogging about this at some point but until such time know that we had a blast, had some interesting adventures in Social Studies and would do it all over again.

4. Netflix. Brick and mortar is quickly becoming obsolete. That being said, some of the people who work at MY local Blockbuster are simply wonderful individuals who love film and are doing their best to keep things together and going. I will continue to rent my Blu-ray discs and video games from my local Blockbuster BUT Netflix is just the shape of things to come. In an instant gratification world they deliver - instantly. No longer does one have to wait until their Blockbuster queue is depleted to see that samurai, gangster, ninja, zombie flick that they have had a hankering to see - no, that sometimes month long wait has been replaced by the press of the button on my remote, X-box, laptop, Nintendo Wii, smart TV, or even Blu-ray player. Bickety-Bam; instant gratification. I don't have time to wait on movies. Now I don't have to. My middle aged attention span is longer than some others but is not designed to handle the onslaught of all the other things screaming for my attention. This being said, I am not giving up on Blockbuster; there are some great people there and that is the only source of Blu-ray and video games in South Jersey. Netflix, however, cuts the price more than HALF ($8.99 a month VS. $20.00). That's a lot of cabbage.

5. The progress of our Turtles. We have two turtles; Van Goff and Sheldon/Bertha. I could be writing about their progress and how they came into our home but NO! I have not done so.

6. NANOWRIMO? I have no time for National Novel Writing Month this year. I'd write and tell you about it but I simply don't have the time.

7. Downed Trees. A cherry tree limb snapped off and hit a maple tree limb in my yard - both of which collapsed in my driveway. Thanks to my Ford I was able to pull them onto my front lawn. Thanks to a friend (Thanks Rich!) and his chainsaw the gravity challenged limbs are no longer an issue. I could have written about this but the time just did not materialize.

8. Weight loss. I don't want to but I must. I'm too fat but I have a taste for butter, egg yolks, red meat and salt. I would write about it but I'm just too busy. Let's just say that I'm gonna be eating a LOT of salad and veg in the future; I may even write about it.

9. The Christmas movie season. There are some decent offerings this holiday season. "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part I", "True Grit" and the one I'm really waiting for, "Tron Legacy" will all be hitting theaters in the next month and a half. Yeah, if I had time I'd be writing about those too.

10. Injustice and false representation. I don't like to wallow in this for too long since the stench sort of follows you around. Just like... Well ya know, Thumper's mother was right, if you don't have anything nice to say about someone it's best to not say anything at all.

Gentle Reader, please forgive me. Also let me just say that these days my life is NOT my own and I am actively looking forward the END of the holiday season when I can relax with my family, play some video games with the girls and do some geocaching with Mother Hen - oh yes, and spend some quality time right here at Chicken Scratch. I am happy to be busy and a part of things greater than myself this time of year but I'm looking forward to a time when the wheels are not spinning as fast as they are right now.

Stay tuned, Gentle Reader, the best is yet to come.

Cinema Reborn at the Landis Theater

I live relatively close to the city of Vineland which is right in the heart of Cumberland County and one of the nicest things for the city, in recent memory, is the return of the Landis Theater. It has been restored, retooled and rebooted and has been hosting a variety of musical acts, assorted plays and film festivals. Well the theater will be presenting classic cinematic films once again. Here’s the Daily Journal article by Kristi Funderburk: http://www.thedailyjournal.com/article/20101025/NEWS01/10250315/Movies-return-to-Landis-Theater. The first film that they are presenting will be “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” – Hepburn and Peppard; I’m humming ‘Moon River’ already.

As a movie geek this is simply GREAT news. My sincere hope is that more cinema is explored at the Landis. There are so many great films to choose from. That being said, let’s discuss a movie that I truly and selfishly want to see specifically at the Landis Theater. That film is “Blade Runner” by Ridley Scott staring Harrison Ford, Rutger Hauer, Sean Young, Edward James Olmos and Daryl Hannah.

“Why Blade Runner?”

Well, apart from the fact that it is a cinematic masterpiece and one of the most influential films ever made there is the fact that my dad and I were supposed to see it together back in 1982 right there at the Landis Theater. We bought our tickets, we were sitting in the theater and we were ready to have our minds blown when an usher comes down the aisle and announces to the handful of people present that the projector was broken and that we would receive passes to come back after the projector was fixed.

“WHAT!” I remember thinking to myself, “That’s just not right!” By the time dad and I were in our seats under the lip of the balcony my mind was filled with flying cars called “spinners”, a futuristic noir city of Los Angeles with buildings that looked like pyramids and genetic androids – replicants who were in a bad mood and had a serious beef with the Tyrell Corporation – the company who created them. Oh I was so ready to see it on the big screen at the Landis Theater. I had read up on the film in Starlog magazine(pre-internet) and I was primed and ready to behold the film in all its rated “R” wonder. But the bubble burst. Dad and I never made it back for Blade Runner but the hope of seeing it on the big screen at the Landis Theater still burns.

Therefore, I would like to lend my voice to the cause. If Blade Runner should become a consideration in the future I will do my part to fill the house. I do not say this lightly. I will full court press this to highlight the Landis Theater, one of the greatest films ever made and to selfishly giggle with geekish delight at seeing Blade Runner at the Landis Theater just like I was supposed to back in 1982. I wish my dad was here to share the experience (should such an occurrence occur). Blade Runner is a classic film and I do not doubt that geeks would travel from far and wide to behold it once again, for the first time, on the big screen at the Landis Theater. I do not doubt that it would be a home run.

Details for the “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” showing as per the Daily Journal website story:

- Tickets are on sale to see the film "Breakfast at Tiffany's" at 7:30 p.m. Nov. 18 at Landis Theater Performing Arts Center.
- To purchase tickets, visit the box office at 830 E. Landis Ave., call (856) 691-1121 or go online to http://www.landistheater.com/.
- General admission is $5, plus an extra $2 fee. Online purchases include an additional $3 processing fee.

Go on out and support CINEMA at the Landis Theater on November 18th. I’m looking forward to seeing you there!

Desks of Legend and Yore

My laptop was downstairs for the summer. It was just too hot up in my computer room. I tucked it away next to my bed so that I could use it in the air conditioning of my bedroom. I will be migrating upstairs in the near future to place my laptop back onto its appointed position on my impromptu desk. I use a door laid flat on top of two old metal filing cabinets. It works just fine for what I need it to do but recently I asked myself, “Self,” I said, “what sort of desks are out there for geeks and/or eccentrics to use?”

Gentle Reader, before I knew it I was hitting Google and searching which is where I found this blog: http://www.casemodblog.com/?p=4536. Oh yeah, that’s pretty cool. “Expensive and perhaps a tad extravagant?” you might ask. No doubt about it. Still the steampunk gear desk and the Han Solo are just plain cool.

Hey, Batman has the desk in the Batcave, Tony Stark is surrounded by cool desks – apart from being priced WAY out of our league why not us? Yes, I know that they are both imaginary billionaires but that’s not the point. The point is they have cool desks I thought I’d pass these your way for consideration.

Until next time, Gentle Reader; I’ll be in line at Ikea!

Of Inaugurations and Balls

I had the pleasure of witnessing the inauguration of President Thomas A. Isekenegbe as the sixth President of Cumberland County College this afternoon. (For those of you playing at home that was October 15, 2010 at 2:00 PM.) He is only the sixth President in 40 years. The ambassador of Nigeria and the Grand Chief of Nigeria were in attendance and spoke on the new President’s behalf. All and all it was something to see. Presidents and delegates from dozens of colleges and universities – all in their dress robes were there to witness the inauguration. The Faculty was in the precession too. Family, friends and, yes, even politicians were recognized. It was a beautiful ceremony.

What struck me most about the proceedings was the sense that the community’s best days are still ahead of it – which is one of the primary themes of Isekenegbe’s platform. I truly like that concept. “Engage, Inspire, Transform” are the words that are being put forward. I’ve met the man on different occasions and the truth of the matter is they are not just words for a ‘catchy slogan’; no, he means them. By all accounts he is the real deal.

Tomorrow night is the “Ball”. I’ve never been to one but the tux is hanging on my bedroom door, Mother Hen’s gown is a go and pretty soon we can say that we have been to a real – honest to goodness – Ball. We can’t wait to celebrate the occasion.

All the best President Isekenegbe; this is one blogger and alumni of Cumberland County College who wishes you a bountiful tenure.

I’ll see you there. ...Although I'm still concerned about that whole 'pumpkin after midnight' thing.

Three More for the Blu-Ray Dossier

Gentle Reader, you know the drill by now. I likes the Blu-ray movies. I rate ‘em on a two tier system; story first and Jaw Dropping Blu-ray quality second. That’s the nuts and bolts of things so, that being said, here’s what I’ve been watching…

The Untouchables – Special Collector’s Edition, 3.8 Stars / 4 Stars. Brian De Palma captured a lightning in a bottle with a great cast and a taught story back in 1987. You’ve got Costner, Connery, Garcia and De Niro in roles that they were born to play. Blu-ray moments? Oh yeah, the whole Canadian set up is quite beautiful. Rent it. You’ll remember why you loved it the first time and you’ll see the joy of Blu-ray unfold before your eyes.

Robin Hood (2010), 4 Stars / 4 Stars. I went into this one with preconceived notions. I had read some pretty bad things and I brought that baggage alone with me for the ride. What can I say… I was wrong. I loved this version of Robin Hood. I think that the reason it didn’t really take off here Stateside is because the studio did not know how to market it correctly. This is ROBIN HOOD; it should not be plagued by poor advertising. Ridley Scott delivers and not just with putting Russell Crowe through his paces as the titular title character. This is a Robin Hood that I really want to see a ‘Part II’ for. Then there is the cast… Crowe does a wonderful job as Robin of the Hood but it’s the unexpected performances that really grab you. Max Von Sydow? Check. William Hurt? Check. Cate Blanchett? Check. Mark Strong? Check. This is a film that lays down the epic and I’m glad I was there to pick it up. As for Blu-ray quality, the White Cliffs of Dover look as menacing as they should and I liked the water scenes too. This is just a great version of a classic. Check it out for yourself.

Superman / Batman – Apocalypse, 3.5 Stars / 3 Stars. DC Showcase has produced a number of GREAT animated movies for some pretty ICONIC characters. They consistently deliver the goods. Superman / Batman – Apocalypse is no different. Expect to see Darkseid, Wonder Woman, Bats, Superman, Big Bartha and Super Girl at the tops of their games and if any of those names don’t ring a bell then you should rent this disc. You’ve got about 30 years of comic history dancing in front of you with crystal clear Blu-ray reproduction. It is a GOOD time to be a geek.

The Blu-Ray Dossier Review Retrofit

NOTE: Please forgive all of the “I” and “Me” that you are about to read here. It all sounds so egocentric. I suppose that’s the nature of a blog or social media. Someone feels that they have an idea that they want to share and they just start typing. Well, this is my blog and I like to share my passion for story delivered via the Blu-ray format.

Now let's get down to business...

I review movies on Blu-ray. I try to separate the wheat from the chaff. I do this because I love fun cinema and I don’t wish there to be viewer remorse after plunking down whatever you paid to buy or rent said movin’ pictures Blu-ray disc. I rate on two factors: story and jaw dropping Blu-ray picture quality. Recently I’ve been doing some house cleaning here at Chicken Scratch, which included removing “My Favorite Coffee Houses” and putting up “Blu-Ray Dossier at a Glance”. While I stand by my ratings I gotta say that if I could turn back time there are a few films that I may have rated a bit differently – just a bit mind you. Here are some of the changes that would have been…

“Kick Ass” might get a 0.5 increase for story.

“9” would be reassigned a 2 Star / 3 Star rating.

“G.I. Joe” should be a 1.5 star movie for story.

“Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull” could be a 3.5 Star / 3.5 Star.

“Land of the lost” could easily be a 1.5 – 2 Star for story.

“Quantum of Solace” 3.5 Story / 4 Stars for Blu-ray quality.

“The Road” could easily be a 3 Star / 3 Star.

“Transformers – Rise of the Fallen” should really be a 1.5 for story.

"Zombieland" is about a 4 Star for story.

So there we have the delicate business of Monday morning quarterbacking my own reviews. As previously stated, I stand by my ratings but… if I was writing the above reviews right now, in the fullness of time, the ratings for the above films could have easily looked like these.

Please forgive me Gentle Reader. I will continue to strive for consistency but until then I just may have to hold my own feet in the fire from time to time.

‘Nuff said.

Five More for the Blu-Ray Dossier

Blu-rays - I watch ‘em, I rate ‘em. The first rating is on a 5 Star scale with 5 being best. The second is for the Jaw-Dropping Blu-ray quality and if the filmmakers used it to their ability or not. Some do, some don’t. It should also be noted that I’ve done a little housecleaning here at Chicken Scratch. I got rid of the “Favorite Coffee Houses” section (Too many of my favorites have been disappearing) and now there’s the Blu-Ray Dossier at a Glance section. The same rules apply. Now that this is out of the way, let’s get down to business…

Kick Ass: 3 Stars / 3 Stars. “Kick Ass” is a film that caters to the modern comic book geek audience. I happen to be one of those so I enjoyed the movie. I have never read the comics that inspired the film but it is written by a man by the name of Mark Millar. His “Ultimates” will be the blueprint for “The Avengers” movie coming out in 2010. The man knows how to tell a story and I am a fan of his work. It did not perform well at the box office. Perhaps this is an expectation issue with the audience. The general public has a preconceived notion as to what a “comic book movie” should be. When John Q Public saw “Kick Ass” I believe that they saw the comics industry for what it is and not so much what it was. In other words this was probably the first time they looked at a “sidekick” and considered the very real and present danger within that world of child endangerment. (That being said, Hit Girl is awesome.) This film will find its audience eventually.

Bounty Hunter: 1.5 Stars / 2 Stars. “Bounty Hunter” is a movie that you have seen dozens of times… chances are against your will. This is a chick flick – pure and simple… emphasis on the ‘simple’.

The Good, the Bad and the Weird: 4 Stars / 4 Stars. This is a gem of a picture. It is a subtitled, South Korean, Western that I fell in love with. The story takes place in 1940s era Manchuria and revolves around a hunt for a treasure map and the adventures and misadventures of the three main characters in search of said treasure; the good – a bounty hunter, the bad – a ruthless bandit and the weird – a thief. I found the images and cinematography stunning, which truly aid in the telling of this tale. Expect gun and knife fighting a-plenty; chases too. Hey, it’s a western after all. Ji-woon Kim (director / screenwriter) has a knack for inventing worlds that I would like to visit. Gentle Reader, if you are seeking an over the top entertainment western set in Manchuria experience I advise you to do the same.

Clash of the Titans: 2 Stars / 3 Stars. Before the movie started the trailer for the original “Clash of the Titans” graced our HDTV screen. I was expecting my girls to be into it. It was great back in the day and I had no doubt that they would dig it. These expectations were mugged when the girls started to giggle at the effects and the acting in the trailer. They are fans of “The Annoying Orange” (look it up on You Tube) and when the statue of Dianna’s head falls to the floor of the temple and the obvious projected image danced across it’s features I heard my youngest exclaim, “Hey Apple!” (Like I said, do a search on You Tube) All hope was lost. This newest version of “Clash of the Titans” has wonderful special effects but it just has no heart. It tries but it made me pine for Ray Harryhausen and his stop motion creatures. It made bank at the box office and I understand that there are plans for a “part II”. Here’s hopin’ that they can shoehorn Perseus into a better story this time around.

Diary of a Wimpy Kid: 3.5 Stars / 2 Stars. It was cute. It was funny. It made us laugh as a family. If your intention is to find a family film that will please everyone you really should give this one a try. The message of finding ones place in the world and being a better friend than you think you are get explored here – right on the first day of middle school. Beware the “Cheese Touch”!

See you at Blockbuster.

Ashes to Ashes, Vinyl to Vinyl

In my regular surfing duties I found an interesting new way to deal with the problem of what to do with ones remains after being cremated that caught my eye. I thought that this was unique and actually kind of cool. I don’t know abut you Gentle Reader but after I shuffle off this mortal coil I would like to think that any organ that I have not destroyed (admittedly this is a short list by now) could be harvested and given to someone who needs it on this side of Glory. After that I am seriously pulling for a Viking Funeral. I am not joking. Come on, a Viking Funeral is the BEST! Put my harvested carcass in the canoe that my Dad and I built, cover my corpse with plenty of fireworks and gasoline and shove me off – preferably into the ocean; Cape May would be perfect! Now instead of putting roses onto my coffin everyone in attendance would be given an arrow. After the Gospel is shared and I (or what’s left of me) get past the breakers the arrows are to be lit and fired at the boat. BOOM! After that I highly recommend a decent BBQ.

Trust me; it’s what I would have wanted. Look, I can’t speak for YOU, Gentle Reader; I’m just giving you a glimpse at my wishes.

Across the ages people have found interesting ways of interring their bodies and/or dispose of their earthly remains. Heck the Pharaohs had pyramids built to usher them into the afterlife, Gene Roddenberry (the father of my beloved Star Trek) launched his ashes into space to orbit the earth. There are people who go into cryogenic freezes and those whose ashes are pressed into diamonds. I’ve heard of people being interred inside their cars or with their pets but, quite frankly, most of that is boring. They still don’t make hearses with luggage racks; even in the 21st century. You just can’t take it with you and that’s ok, I’m one of those ‘Treasure in Heaven” types anyway.

But I digress… I tell you that to tell you this and I thought this was cool: http://www.wired.com/underwire/2010/08/vinyl-ashes/. Yup, that’s right; your earthly remains can now be pressed into vinyl. Now I ask you, Gentle Reader, how cool is that? As per the article: “The basic package costs £2,000 and comprises of the standard artwork along with up to 30 ash-flecked discs with whatever sounds you choose, lasting a maximum of 24 minutes.” 24 minutes! Hey depending on how much ash you make you could have up to 30 discs. Granted this service is only in England right now but, come on, with a service like this can we (citizens here Stateside) be all that far behind? I think not. Oh man, so what would you want to say or share?

I’ll have to give it some thought. Perhaps you will as well. Don’t worry our answers will not be graded. Right now I’m pulling for “Don’t Fear the Reaper”, “It’s the End of the World as We Know It”, “The Passenger”, “That’s Life” and “It is Well with My Soul”.

What’s on your permanent record?



[BTW the picture is from the And Vinyl site (http://www.andvinyly.com/) and Wired brought the original article to my attention. All the other insanity is mine all mine.]

Wiki-hunt the Search Continues

Paperclip – Cream Cheese I got in 7 steps.

Mongoose – Jack Kerouac I got, again, in 7 steps.

Star Wars – Tesla I got in 5.

I’ll post my progressions in the next few days. Someone already beat me soundly – in 4 steps! Your Kung-Fu is good RDOwens! : )

Ivory discovered a fun little exercise with the Wiki-hunt. I hope you dig ‘em as much as I do Gentle Reader.

Good Luck!

Wiki-hunt

I was recently horsing around on Facebook and a friend of mine (let’s call him, Ivory) posted that he was able to connect “Mario Tennis” and “Chiropractor” in 9 steps in a “Wiki-hunt”. He went on to challenge the rest of his sphere of FB friends to take up that challenge and to try to beat his score. Hey, Wikipedia is my favorite second brain so I had to give this a try. I got it down to 5 linkable steps – so did my wife, Mother Hen. I tell you this, Gentle Reader, not to gloat or to say “HA!” in any way, shape or form but to let you know that I had a blast and a half doing this search!

“Really, Evil Chicken; Really?”

Yes really. …Don’t be snarky.

The Wiki-hunt is like a puzzle that unravels as you find the connections – sort of like “Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon” without having to go to the movies. Well Ivory’s Wiki-hunt is just such an animal to a Wiki-head. Here is the progression that I found… Mother Hen and then Ivory found it too...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mario_Tennis
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Camelot_Software_Planning
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tokyo
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acupuncture
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chiropractic_treatment_techniques


Now there is the very real and present possibility that you could find a connection between “Mario Tennis” and “Chiropractor” in fewer steps than we did; if so please let us know – we would love to see the progression!

Now that you’ve seen how it’s done give it a try. Test your Mad Wiki Skillz, Gentle Reader but be warned… once you start connecting Point A to Point B with the fewest Wiki links you may find the puzzle can become quite the quest. That being said…

Paperclip / Cream Cheese

Mongoose / Jack Kerouac

Star Wars / Tesla

Happy hunting, Gentle Reader, and Good Luck!




Wikipedia, Wik-ihunt, Wikihunt, Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon, Facebook, Ebony and Ivory, Ivory,

Starlog Magazine

Not to brag but I knew who Kevin Flynn, Snake Plissken, Ellen Ripley, Mad Max and Rick Deckard were long before they made their first appearances onto movie screens the world over and into the collective unconscious of popular culture. I listened to what people like John Carpenter, Ray Bradbury, Gene Rodenberry, Ann C. Crispin, Terry Gilliam and Stephen Spielberg had to say about their latest projects while I plotted and planned at just how I was going to get to a movie theater or a bookstore in South Jersey that would actually peddle the wares they were creating.

“Evil Chicken, just how did you find out about this stuff before it came out?”

Gentle Reader, I was a fan of Starlog Magazine, that’s how. Sure Forrest J. Ackerman’s Famous Monsters of Filmland was a primary influence on the publication but I grew up reading Starlog. Starlog published glossy wonder and I ate up each and every page. I remember bugging the magazine guy on the first Tuesday of every month to see if the new issue of Starlog had arrived. Starlog was, for this Geek and a great many others, the bee’s knees. The magazine was around for almost 33 years, which is some feat when one considers that nature of the publishing industry these days. After all, Newsweek Magazine was bought yesterday for the grand total of $1.00. Starlog, however, was always near and dear to my heart. You see, back when a world wide computer network was nothing but science fiction Starlog was one of the only fountains for a Geek to drink from – it was a literal oasis in the publishing world. This magazine fed an entire generation of fanboys, including yours truly. Starlog fanned the flames of wonder.

And now, it’s gone.

I believe that it was the internet that killed Starlog. I remember heading to their site and hoping beyond hope that they would embrace this new technology to work in tandem with their print version. Alas, this was never the case. Their web site never took into account the vast changes in media that were taking place. On the internet readers could now comment and become a part of the conversation about all things geek. If there was an interview with a leading science fiction author or a report from a movie set or hints being dropped about what the next ‘Star Trek’ film was going to be about all fans had to do was drop a name onto a search engine and press ‘Enter’. This eliminated the wait for next month’s issue. Now information was instantaneous, plentiful and, depending on where one found it, accurate. The Starlog website never adapted which is ironic for a magazine that so prominently promoted the future to remain fixed in the past. Some magazines made the jump such as Wired (http://www.wired.com/) and others did not such as OMNI (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Omni_(magazine)) and, sadly, Starlog (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Starlog).

The first issue was published in August of 1976 and the final issue, #375, was published in April of 2009. I want to believe that Starlog is only in hibernation. I would love to see a multimedia version of a resurrected Starlog come to pass which would be launched electronically and in print; with a web presence and a go-to show on G4 or the SyFy Channel – all the Geek news that’s fit to print, blog or broadcast. The rights to Starlog are currently held by “The Brooklyn Company INC”, the same people who publish Fangoria (which was a sister publication to Starlog). I mention this tidbit as a means of introduction to the good people at The Brooklyn Company INC…

Please consider this blog the preamble to my resume. I am Evil Chicken and if you ever want to reboot Starlog... I am your man.

I like Ike’s

So do you like seafood? Yeah? Me too. In fact I like it so much that when Mother Hen said that she had procured a gift certificate from http://restaruant.com/ we made a beeline to the Flagship Restaurant on Route 49 and Union Road in Millville, NJ. Here is their website for your surfing pleasure: http://www.ikescrabcakes.com/millville.html and here is the review that I submitted to Restaurant.com…

You know that secret for when you travel that you want to ask a local where the best spots are? Sure you do. Well I’m a local and I would like to pass along such a spot – it’s called Ike’s Seafood and it is worth your time. Ike’s prides themselves on their crab cakes, which are amazing but one of my favorite items on the menu are the Giant Clam Strips. My wife and I split a plate as an appetizer. I could make a meal on these alone but, if you have a yearning for seafood, then you will want to save room.

I started off with a cup of the Corn Clam chowder while my wife had her old standby, French Onion soup. She stole a spoonful or two of mine but that was all right. One of the arcane secrets to a marriage is to develop the ability to share food items.

My wife had the Crab Imperial and I had a combination of fried delights that included flounder, shrimp, scallops and one of Ike’s Famous Crab Cakes. My, my, my…

Splendid.

Their salad bar is good too but my wife and I went straight for the seafood. I suggest you do the same. Take it from this local; you will not be disappointed.