Blu-Ray Worthy

I am a movie geek a title which has its privileges and its responsibilities. Oh yes, it’s true. A little known fact is that it is no easy burden to be a movie geek there are pitfalls and the calling requires a certain degree of commitment. Some of these pitfalls include; the poor, lost souls who talk, text or send / receive cell phone calls during a movie (Dante envisioned a special ring in Hell for these folk), sold out opening night showings, Blockbuster not sending you “home happy” for one reason or another, and collecting a large amount of DVDs that really are not the Grade A movies that you hoped they would be. Ah, Gentle Reader, the path of the Movie Geek Warrior is beset with many a trap.

“Where are you going with this?” you may ask.

Hear me out (Good question BTW). Blu-Ray won the war between formats when industries chose it over HD-DVD. Disney, Warner and porn went with Blu-Ray and the rest is history… or at least history that is right now being written. So, I got to thinking, now that Blu-Ray is the new gold standard what films are worth purchasing and which are just rentals?

I compiled a short list of movies that I think would be deemed Blu-Ray Worthy…

1. Jaws
2. Hellboy I & II
3. The Forbidden Kingdom
4. Blade Runner
5. Star Trek (2009)
6. Sleepy Hollow
7. Nightmare Before Christmas
8. Iron Man
9. Superman (1978)
10. Godfather I & II
11. John Carpenter's The Thing
12. Big Trouble in little China
13. Shaun of the Dead

And that's only the beginning.

So I ask YOU, Gentle Reader, what movies are worthy of a Blu-Ray Disc purchase?

FREE Museum Day is Coming, September 26th

“Free Museum Day – what’s that?”

Ah, Gentle Reader you always know just what to ask! Please click here: http://www.wired.com/geekdad/2009/08/free-museum-day/ for all the answers.

How cool is that? As the article from Wired says, “You can’t just show up and get in for free. They won’t let you in. You need to visit the Free Museum Day website and download a free admission card.” This “free admission card” is good for you and a guest. That website can be found here: http://microsite.smithsonianmag.com/museumday/index.html. There are Google links to show you what museums near you are participating.

I’ll see you there next weekend!

The Life and Times of Wook Kundor

So I was checking out some shots on my Yahoo homepage when a picture of a little old Malaysian woman catches my eye. I click on said picture to read the segment of her story from AFP headlines. I found it interesting on several levels; so much so that I thought I would break it down piece by piece for your thoughtful consideration, Gentle Reader. Here we go…

“Wook Kundor, 107, sits outside her house in Malaysia's northern Kuala Terengganu state on September 13, 2009.”

Ok, so far so good. 107 – God bless her! This lady must be hitting the bran flakes and Flintstone vitamins; she looks great.

“Wook says she is ready to marry for the 23rd time…”

…I’m sorry, I didn’t quite get that?

“Wook says she is ready to marry for the 23rd time…”

Ok, Wook has been married 22 times. Hey, if at first you don’t succeed try try again.

“…because she fears her current drug addict husband Muhammad, 37, who is undergoing voluntary drug rehabilitation treatment in the capital Kuala Lumpur, will leave her once the program ends.”

Wow.

This woman has had quite the life. At 107 years of age she is marrying another man because her drug addicted, 70 years her junior husband is probably going to leave her after he gets out of rehab.

This is not just a little picture from Yahoo, oh no; this is an entire Morey Povitch / Jerry Springer mini series. What this woman must have seen in her days.

Click here for the brief article on Wook: http://news.yahoo.com/nphotos/Most-Emailed-Photos/ss/1756/im:/090914/photos_od_afp/f41f9dc721ef49457200fe29acf44cbd.

All the best Ms. Kundor I truly hope that husband number 23 makes you happy.

Ah those crazy kids.

Patrick Swayze has Passed

He lost his battle with pancreatic cancer today. Here are better details than I could provide: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090915/ap_on_en_mo/us_obit_swayze_11.

As an adolescent in the eighties it was hard to avoid films like “Ghost” and “Dirty Dancing”. Some of the roles that really stick out in my mind are bit ones that sneak up on you like that sleazy self-help guru from “Donnie Darko” or Vida from “To Wong Foo Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar”. He was good at what he did and he will be missed.

It pained me when I heard of his diagnosis and it pains me now hearing of his passing. I’ve said it before and I will, unfortunately, say it again; man, I hate cancer. I know that amazing strides have been made in combating the plague of our time but it is a testament to our values that we have more pills for erectile dysfunction and creams for hair loss than we have viable, sustainable, cancer treatments.

My thoughts and prayers are with the man’s family and friends at this time.

Flashing Lights Against the Sky or How I Fought the Law and the Law Won

“So can Sheriffs give out tickets?” I asked as I drove back from dinner at Red Robin on 322 this very evening. BTW, if you’ve never been to a Red Robin (like us) I think you’ll like it. There are a great variety of burger combinations. The prices are a little steep but for something a slice above the usual corporate fare, I don’t think you will be disappointed. The steak fries are banging too.

Please forgive me, Gentle Reader, this blog is not about where to get a decent cheeseburger (although that would make an excellent blog); no, this blog is about the law and personal responsibility and how I have been breaking both of these tenants for… let’s just say, a while now.

“Well?” I prompted.

“What?” Mother Hen (my wife) asked.

“Can Sheriff’s give out tickets?”

“I think so.” My wife said, “But mostly they serve warrants and notices. Why?”

“I have one right on my tail.” I said. I had noticed that instead of completely passing me in the left lane he had applied his breaks and maneuvered behind me. I was mindful of my speed and did not go too fast or too slow. I cleared my mind and I began to think happy thoughts; such as rainbows and ponies and monster trucks – you know what I mean. Finding my happy place as I drove onward was important since I have been harboring a secret; a secret most foul. Gentle Reader, they say that confession is good for the soul, well…

I pulled over, shut the vehicle down, put the keys on the dashboard and my hands were in the 10 / 2 position on the steering wheel. I do this whenever I am pulled over. I see no reason to upset anyone who carries a gun and knows how to use it.

“This might be expensive.” I said. You see, Gentle Reader, I knew something that the Three Chicks and the Sheriff Officer didn’t… yet.

The Sheriff Officer came up to my side of the vehicle. “License, registration & insurance card, sir?”

“Sure.” I said and I retrieved the documents and gave them to the Officer.

“Do you know why I stopped you?” he asked.

“Well…” my mind began to work and do the things that it does. For a brief moment I thought, Could it be the three children in the back seat that my wife and I just kidnapped from the mall? Or, I don’t know Officer, there are several very good possibilities but whatever you do, don’t check the trunk! Or, if he were to follow up by asking me something like ‘Do you have any guns or drugs?’ I could say something like, “Sure, what do you need?” NO. I had to focus. I had to tell my mind to stop working the way it usually does. He looked at my credentials and all were valid. He then looked at the inspection sticker and I knew that my life of crime was about to come to a screeching halt.

“Your vehicle has not been inspected since…” he double-checked my windshield just to be sure what he was seeing was correct. “…2007.” He was correct. “Did you know that you were overdue?”

“Yes.”

“Why didn’t you get it inspected?”

“The dashboard light is on so I knew it would not pass but I also knew it will be expensive to fix.” I said.

“I’m going to run your license and registration.” He said as he handed me my insurance card. I thanked him and he disappeared into the flashing lights behind us.

I heard a sound directly behind me that sounded something between a whimper and a sob. “Chick 2.0,” my wife said to our middle child save for the fact that she used her real name as opposed to her ID on this particular blog, “it’s going to be all right, you don’t have to cry.”

“I’m not crying.” Chick 2.0 said and she burst out in an infectious giggling. “It looks like Johnny Law’s caught up with you.” And with this we all broke out into laughter.

“Are we going to be arrested?” Chick 3.0 asked.

“No, honey. Not today.” I said. “It’s going to be all right.”

“What did we do?” she asked.

“Nothing, honey. We didn’t do anything and that is the problem.” I said. “We were pulled over because of something that I didn’t do.” I then explained to the girls that I was obviously in the wrong and I had been since 2007. The law is clear and I have been breaking it. For me, it was only a matter of time that I was going to get spotted. I said that when the time comes for them to drive that it is important to be responsible and to take care of the vehicles that they drive. I made sure that they understood that the Officer was doing his job and, in doing so, he was keeping everyone safe and the law satisfied. “Well… we had a good run.” I said looking towards my wife.

“Well, we’ll see what happens.” My wife said, “It is what it is.” My wife says that one a lot.

“You know what this means?” I asked her.

“It means that we are holding off on the mortgage until next paycheck.” She said.

“Oh no.” I said pursing my lips and gently blowing her a kiss. “It means that I’m a bad boy. That’s right, baby, I’m a rebel.”

“Right.” She said.

The officer appeared at my window again. “Ok, Mr. Evil Chicken” he began using my given name as opposed to my secondary handle. “The good news is that you are not getting any points but I have got to give you a ticket for the expired inspection sticker. I know these are hard times but you just don’t see too many blue stickers these days.”

“No, I suppose you don’t.” I said.

“If you want to contest this ticket the address to the court is printed on the back.” He said.

I nodded my head indicating to him that I did not have any inclination of contesting a ticket that I so obviously deserved. I took my ticket and we parted. He was kind enough to block traffic so that I could get back out onto 322 to resume our trip back home.

“That’s right baby,” I said to my wife in a raspy low octave voice, “I’m a bad man… a fugitive who’s been on the run from Johnny Law.” The mention of Johnny Law’s name made the back seat giggle once again. “I had a pretty good run.”

“Well, Mr. Bad Man, I wonder how much this is going to cost?”

“I don’t know.” I said in complete honesty.

“I guess this means we’re not going out for ice cream?” Chick 1.0 said giggling.

“No.” Mother Hen and I said in perfect synchronicity.

And so it came to pass that my two-year run as a law-breaking citizen came to an end. Learn from my story. It’s the story of a man (a bad man… whom some might call a rebel) who by his very non-compliance fought the law; well, tonight, Gentle Reader, the law won.

Justice has been served.

Spider-Mouse!

Disney buys Marvel Comics for 4 BILLION dollars. Here’re the gory details: http://www.nydailynews.com/money/2009/08/31/2009-08-31_spiderman_meet_mickey_mouse_disney_to_buy_comic_book_powerhouse_marvel_for_4b.html.

Disney has kept their fingers out of the PIXAR pie (creatively speaking) I have high hopes that they will keep in step with the acquisition of MARVEL. This could be a great day in comic book history, that and the fact that I have always thought Stan Lee would have made a great Walt Disney. Until I hear otherwise, Make Mine Marvel!

EXCELSIOR!

In the Mouth of Madness

This is Phillip and Nancy Garrido. 18 years ago they kidnapped an 11-year-old girl, named Jaycee Lee Dugard. Ms. Dugard made her way to a police station in California to tell the tale just this week. Phillip was a registered sex offender who was “previously convicted of kidnapping and rape.” He married his wife, Nancy, while he was in prison. The child that they abducted 18 years ago was repeatedly raped and held in a backyard camp / compound. She is now the mother of two of Phillips children.

Details of this case can be found here: http://abcnews.go.com/US/story?id=8438914. (BTW, Phillip is now being looked at in the murders of some prostitutes too.)

Meanwhile, the stepfather who witnessed the abduction of Jaycee 18 years ago and his wife, Ms. Dugard’s mother, have split over all of the hell that their lives had become. Phillip and Nancy destroyed their family. In the process they shattered a child’s life to the point that Ms. Dugard is feeling sorry for turning Phillip and Nancy into the police. Yes, this is the man who raped her and became the father of her two children – the same man that made them sleep in tents in the tin roof and tent compound of a backyard that he constructed.

I heard an “expert” on such topics say on morning TV concerning their defense say, “She’s going to say that her husband made her do it and he’s going to say that the Devil made him do it.” And both of those might be the case concerning Phillip and Nancy; the fact remains that the damage is already done. A family was ruined 18 years ago and these unhumans made it happen. They did not stop there. He impregnated this abducted child twice and now the kidnap victim, Ms. Dugard, is uncertain if she had done the right thing.

Wow.

I believe that our justice system is a little askew. Why on God’s Green Earth would a man who has been charged with “kidnapping and rape” be allowed to EVER see the light of day? Phillip had done this BEFORE. This was not something new to Phillip and apparently not something new to Nancy either. Why would he be allowed to go free and do it again? I have no sane answer, Gentle Reader; none, whatsoever. Hey, did Phillip’s parole officer EVER visit his compound? Would he or she have even noticed that there was a family living outside just in the backyard?

I subscribe to the idea that there is a greater good and that horror and suffering are just symptoms of this thing called life. I put my trust in a higher power even when I do not see why things progress the way they so often do and even if I cannot see why some atrocity is happening I understand that there is a reason – a greater purpose that is being served somewhere or some when. With stories such as this it is the only way I can stay sane. Anything else is madness. It is all in bigger hands than mine and I am pleased that such is the case and that judgment is not in my hands since I can be creative in device, description and execution… but in doing so I would be no better than Phillip or Nancy.

My prayers are with Ms. Dugard, her mother and her stepfather at this time. It is my sincere hope that some degree of normality can be extended to Ms. Dugard and her two children.

…Wow. And I thought I had a bad week.

On District 9

Back when the term “Science Fiction” meant little more to most people than little green men in flying saucers, robots and ray guns messages could have easily been misconstrued or, more likely, completely missed. Stuff like “Godzilla” representing the man made evils of atomic power, like “THEM” and “The Blob” representing the invading forces of the “Red Menace” or like “The Terminator” and the Hal 9000 representing our technology outpacing our own ability to remain the master of said technology. Those were the days when “Science Fiction” was definable; the days when you knew what you were getting into when you bought your ticket at the movies. I am a believer that the term “Science Fiction” is no longer applicable. It has reached its expiration date. It should be something like Soon to be Realized Fiction. There is no such thing as Science Fiction anymore. If you don’t believe me pick up a newspaper (do they still print those?), flip on the news, or listen to what corporate America is selling you in any venue they can. The future is here. Any speculative fiction these days is exactly that, speculative fiction; or rather, just fiction.

Before my wife and I snuck away to see “District 9” this afternoon I was horsing around on Twitter. I clicked over to see what John Favreau (director of "Iron Man") had to say on the topic. He had Tweeted that the movie was “Kafka meets Cloverfield”. After seeing the film this afternoon I am hard pressed to find a more succinct description. Please note, Gentle Reader, there will be some major spoilers ahead so if you wish to remain pure then stop right here and go to the theater to support this film. Be warned it is not a “feel good” summer movie. Still, go; the allegory and story are worth the trip. BTW I hear that theaters are air conditioned these days! See you next time.

Still here? Good. About a year and a half ago I heard rumors about a possible “HALO” movie with Peter Jackson producing and, at the time, he was marketing around Mr. Neill Blomcamp as director. Not much was known about Mr. Blomcamp but Peter Jackson? After making some pretty amazing genre related films he brought “The Lord of the Rings” trilogy to the big screen in jaw dropping Oscar sweeping fashion – suffice to say, Mr. Jackson’s got Geek Credibility. The major studios, SONY especially, were almost interested. Jackson invested time, energy and money into developing this “HALO” movie and, at the end of the day, SONY said “no thank you”. Now I am just guessing here since no matter how hard I try to meet Mr. Jackson for an interview or autograph, those restraining orders are still quite legal. Anyway, I believe that Blomcamp and Jackson had some great WETA Workshop stuff already completed for the Arbiter character from the HALO series because the aliens from “District 9” are his splitting image. Whatever the case the alien’s work; speaking of working the film works on several levels since this is one of those stories that holds a mirror up to just who we truly are as a people and a global society. And that reflection is scary.

In the world of this film aliens have been zoned to live in a barbed wire and walled shanty town know as “District 9”. There is not a human character in this movie save for the lead (adeptly portrayed by Sharlto Copley) who by no means other than accidentally, falls into a set of circumstances where he is quickly becoming the thing that he hates and the human you begin to hope for. It is a fascist world where humans keep the aliens “contained” thought brute force and cruelty. The most noble character is an alien who wants to save his people by returning to the mother ship (and ultimately his home world) that has been hovering above Johannesburg South Africa for the last twenty years. The unlikely pairing of the MNU bureaucrat and an alien is the only glimpse of the noblest qualities that we aspire to has a species. There are no degrees of evil here. There are no clichéd evil verses less evil factions in this film. The African warlords in “District 9” are no worse than the MNU (Multi National United) army – the multi national force that is “legally” in control of the aliens. The real monsters here are all too human. Whether it is destroying alien eggs to control population, medical & genetic experimentation on the aliens or just target practice the startling lack of “humanity” is all too… real. If this particular set of circumstances were actually play out, sadly, this is how it would happen. “District 9” is not your typical summer excursion at the movies. It holds a mirror up to just who we truly are. I would hope that when the aliens do return for their brethren that they are as forgiving as we aspire to be.

As I have said, this is not a “feel good movie”. Favreau was right, “Kafka meets Cloverfield” pretty much sums it up. May God and the returning aliens have mercy on our souls.

“District 9” is worth your time.

On Teaching Star Trek

I had the pleasure of teaching a course on Star Trek to give or take 13 kids this past week at the Cumberland County College’s Summer Kids Camp. For how all that came about see this: http://evilchickenscratch.blogspot.com/2009/05/college-camp-class-final-frontier.html, it’s got all the gory details.

There were adventures and misadventures, crafts and conversational Klingon, some young fans and some kids who were just signed into the class because it was open. At the class’s heart; however, was Star Trek and, therefore, hope – and YES I am aware how cheesy that sounds. As I said on the first day of class, standing in the glow of a PowerPoint presentation, “Star Trek is a lot of things, science, history, technology, sociology, exploration; but at it’s core is hope; hope that we don’t destroy ourselves, hope that we learn to live together as a people, hope that we can live in an age of exploration where people Boldly Go into that great and final frontier. I was hired to teach Star Trek and that’s exactly what I did. Of course, when one is hired to teach such a class it really is a history of the future and the history’s future is being written right now and in the last 43 years of history. This is how I approached this class. Case in point; the words, “To boldly go where no man has gone before,” were lifted from a brochure that President Kennedy’s office prepared for congress to make the case for going to the moon. How did we get to the moon? It was through hard work and determination – the Saturn 5 rocket and the Eagle Lander. How was it possible to understand how the rocket would take the men to the moon? The scientists involved with launching such a (dare I say) enterprise had to have a firm knowledge of mathematics, physics, and science; they must have understood Newton’s three laws of motion, Copernicus and Galileo’s controversial heliocentric theories. No doubt the men, not only on the moon 40 years ago, but the scientists who helped put them there had some inkling of an idea who those men were.

After the Star Trek class so did my kids.

But what about now - the Space Shuttle program is ending in 2010, what’s going to replace it? Well if Sir Richard Branson has his way anyone will be able to go into space as long as they can afford a ticket ($200,000). As I am typing this he is building the worlds first consumer oriented spaceport. The V.S.S. Enterprise (Virgin Space Ship) from Virgin Galactic is reportedly 60% completed. Branson based his design off of the X-Prize winning Space Ship One which now hangs in between the X-1 (the plane that first broke the sound barrier) and The Spirit of St. Louis (the first plane to cross the Atlantic ocean) at the Smithsonian National Air and Space Museum in Washington DC. Of course NASA has plans too. The Ares program will replace the Space Shuttle in 2020. The Ares rocket will be able to put payloads into orbit such as the new Orion Spacecraft, which has been designed to be a big part in our return to the moon and for our first trip to Mars.

Any parent who asks their child what they did in the class can point to these two very real programs that will take place in the very near future – in their lifetimes and say that they heard it first in Star Trek class.

“Yeah, but did you cover anything Star Trek related?” you may ask.

Have you not been listening? We are outlining the history of the future here! Of course we covered Star Trek but you must understand that Star Trek is based on the world we know – the world in which we live. We are just pre-warp drive society... for now. Other things covered in the class were our solar system & galaxy; how long a year is on Mercury as opposed to right here on Earth, robotics & androids (such as Mr. Data), conversational Klingon (such as Hab SoSlI' Quch! “Your mother has a smooth forehead!”), and just where each of the student’s would sit on the bridge of the Enterprise. We were going to cover dangerous alien species such as targhs, tribbles, & Ceti-eels and have a guest speaker but the guest speaker from an organization that will remain nameless (who is not the SPCA or any of the local zoos) never showed. I choose to believe the no call no show was due to a miscommunication just one or two levels above the woman who told me she would come if it was cleared with her supervisor (whom I also spoke with). Another possibility is that this organization heard that they would be presenting to a Star Trek class and failed to see any connection with what they do. I had an alternate lesson just in case; just in case happened so Plan B went into effect. The kids now know more about robots in today’s world than they do about dangerous animals.

Such is life.

The class was a blast. Still I was surprised at how many non Star Trek fans I had in the class. In my naivety I assumed that I would have a class full of Trekkies; this was not the case and the majority of my kids were just signed in because there was something open. Even though this was the case I think that they enjoyed it too. In my adventures this past week I have discovered a new respect for the profession of teaching. Seriously. It takes a LOT of work to feel comfortable teaching on any topic with any degree of legitimacy. Star Trek I knew I could handle; the science behind it was another story. I stayed up a lot of nights perfecting my PowerPoint presentations and the You Tube animations to back them up.

I hope that the kids had a good time. I think that they did. The last day we checked out an episode of Star Trek the Next Generation, “Hide and Q”, talked about the Ares program and had the Massive Multiplayer Trivia Challenge and it was fantastic. I laughed so hard that I still grin just thinking about it.

It they will have me back at the Cumberland County College’s Summer Kid’s Camp, I would gladly, NAY – Boldly Go! What can I say? It was a hoot.

Live long and prosper, Gentle Reader.

The Facebook Intervention

I love the internet. Seriously. I love it. I blog, I Facebook, I Twitter; I love it. I find it a wonderful little outlet of thought and idea. Since I’d be writing anyway why should I not do so electronically?

I also play poker; badly, mind you, but I play. I sit in on one of the longest standing poker games in Southern New Jersey. It is a group of interesting souls who make up the seven who sit around that table, including yours truly. We meet and play on the first Friday of each month. So, it was no surprise that on 8/7/09, that is where I was. We grilled and it was great. We played cards and that was a lot of fun too. And then came the intervention. After one hand of Texas Hold ‘Em one of my comrades told a story of his wife giggling about some piece of silliness that I wrote on Facebook. Apparently I had used the words, “good night”.

“Why… WHY, on God’s green earth would you say “good night” to anyone on Facebook? I just don’t get it.” Said the man to my left. The man to my left happens to be quite computer savvy and in some circles he is near the top of his game.

“Yeah, it doesn’t make any sense.” Said the man to my right. He is a brilliant man as well.

“I don’t have the time for any of that stuff.” Said the man opposite of me.

“Hey, I just got on to share photos with my family.” Said the man next to him trying to distance himself from yours truly in any way possible for the moment. He could see the tide turn.

“Yeah, you Twitter to, don’t you?” another asked who happens to be on Facebook as well.

“Yes, I do.” I said with a smile.

“You know what I think it is?” the man to my left asked. “It is just a group of people starved for attention. Look at me! Look at me!”

“Like a narcissist.” I said.

“Yes.” He said. So why do you do it? Why do you think that I CARE what you have to say?”

“Well, I think you can make a case for narcissism in some cases when it comes to Facebook.” I said. “But you would be painting with broad brushstrokes.” I understand that whether you care about what is written on Facebook or do not is subjective and up to the reader to decide. “If you don’t like what you read stop reading it. That’s why they make so many flavors of ice cream.”

“Then why?” Asked the man to my right.

“Social networking. It’s a tool.” I said. “Facebook is a wonderful way to be personably impersonal.

“That does not answer the question.”

“Look, I don’t have to tell any of you sitting here at this table how much I despise the phone.” There was a general nodding of heads around the table. They know (and now you do too, Gentle Reader) that I hate talking on the telephone. The contraption just demands entirely too much of my attention at any one time. I like information in digestible, well reasoned, bits – say in an email, on Facebook or on Twitter. It is simple; to the point, and just how I like it. “Facebook is a social tool. How the reader reads it or does NOT read it is purely up to them.” The simple fact of the matter is that’s the way it is with anything. I could tell you that there is a wonderful world to be found in the pages of a book but unless you pick it up and read one for yourself it is pretty much moot. People either will accept a message or reject it. The gentlemen on either side of me remain in a reject it frame of mind.

Oh well. These friends of mine and I just don’t socialize on Facebook. And the world keeps on moving. We socialize while playing cards and that is a good thing.

As for narcissism, “I” am one of my favorite subjects but I am more than well aware that the world does not revolve around me, my blog, my Facebook account or my Twitter feed. These gentlemen were casting aspersions that it did. Ah the power of the written word – even if it is electronic in nature. And, dare I say, even if those casting stones did not have their own Facebook or Twitter accounts.

Que sara sara.

As much as I hate the telephone I wonder how many people said to Alexander Graham Bell, “Why would you ever want to use THAT thing?” Only Bell knows and he’s not saying. I guarantee he heard it though. Fast forward to a hot summer night in 2009 with a group of friends sitting around a poker table some willing to use a different form of communication and some not. No matter what technological advance may come to us now or in the future there are going to be those who resist. Some will get it some will not.

Oh well. Que sara sara.

As for yours truly, Gentle Reader, I know enough about addiction to see that I have not yet hit rock bottom. It is only from the bottom that I can truly make progress and admit that I have a problem. Until then, I’ll see you on Facebook, on Twitter, and right here on the electronic pages of Chicken Scratch – LONG MAY SHE WAVE!

“Bueller…? ...Bueller…?”

John Hughes past away this morning. Here is the story as I found it a few moments ago: http://www.aintitcool.com/node/41966.

His movies really hit home for this movie fan growing up in the eighties. Quint from Ain’t it Cool News does a wonderful job of expressing one fan’s remembrances. For yours truly, “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off”, “The Breakfast Club”, and “National Lampoon’s Vacation” were top of the list of films that defined the eighties.

My thoughts and prayers are with his family and friends at this time. Thank you, Mr. Hughes. You had a hand in shaping a generation of movie goers – including me.

The Green Smoothie

A couple of weeks ago I was crawling around searching for a coffee cup just past the crack of dawn. I was groggy but I was able to flip on the TV and navigate to channel 10, my NBC affiliate, for the Today Show. As I poured myself a cup of coffee and took my first sip my senses began to return to me. Some well quaffed gentleman was delivering a news story that by the sound of his voice and the seriousness of his cadence was somewhere on the importance scale of a meteor hurtling towards our planet roughly around the size of Mexico. My head cleared further as I listened…

“…But the custody of Michael Jackson’s children is still in question…”

Next up was a segment with Hoddah and Kathy Lee. “Really?” I said out loud to no one at all. My prognosis was not looking good for getting ANY relevant news of the day from the Today Show so I flipped over to channel 6, my local ABC affiliate to see what was happening on Good Morning America. There I found a health segment already in progress. All of the morning anchors were gathered around a wonderfully honed and Arobisized Beautiful Person. The table in front of them held bunches of green produce, some apples, lemons, pears, a blender and a glass filled to perfection with Green Smoothie. She, the Beautiful Person, turns out to be Nutritionist Kimberly Snyder and she appeared quite knowledgeable on the topic of detoxification of the human body and was firm in her stance that fad diets did not work. She suggested using the Green Smoothie as a meal replacement for three or more meals a week.

Hmm… I’m a fat guy in my forties and know that I have to do something to become less of a fat guy so I listened more intently; besides, who am I to argue with spandex? The recipe is as follows:

Green Smoothie Recipe:

1 1/2 cup of water
1 head of organic romaine lettuce, chopped
3-4 stalks of organic celery
1 organic apple, cored and chopped
1 organic pear, cored and chopped
1/3 bunch of organic cilantro
1/3 bunch of organic parsley
Juice of ½ fresh organic lemon

Combine the water and chopped head of romaine into your blender. Starting the blender on a low speed, mix until smooth. Gradually moving to higher speeds, add the herbs, celery, apple and pear. Add lemon juice last. Serve chilled or at room temperature. This recipe makes about four servings.

“Hmm…” I thought to myself, “I think I’m gonna try that out.” Last night I did the shopping and this morning I made my first blender full of Green Smoothie! After sampling said Green Smoothie I can not help but believe that half a bottle of vodka (your choice) would certainly improve the overall meal replacement experience. The recipe says that it can be served at “room temperature”, I do not subscribe to this theory. Chill it. If it is colder it will go down quicker. My first few sips reminded me of that story from the movie “Creepshow” where Stephen King turns into that plant – do you remember? Well if not, Gentle Reader, then know that the Green Smoothie is as close as you can get to performing photosynthesis yourself.

I do not mean to sound all together negative; the Green Smoothie is healthy and, since it is all pureed together, you really don’t have to digest it! Mmm… I’m going to stick with it though, Yours Truly knows that he has to do something and the Green Smoothie just may be a part of that.

I’ll let you know how it goes.


Recipe and picture of the Green Smoothie were found at http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/Weekend/Story?id=8052138&page=1

The Leukemia & Lymphoma Triathlon

An old friend of mine, Scott Champion, is raising funds for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society by participating in the “Nation’s Triathlon” down in Washington DC on September 13, 2009. He is on the Team In Training team. As his email to several people including yours truly states the following, “The race is structured beginning with the swim (1.5 miles) in the Potomac River, then transitioning to the cycling portion (approx. 25 miles), and ending with the run (6.1 miles). I believe in the hope and support we can bring to finding a cure through endurance races, such as the Nation’s Triathlon.” This will be the second time that he does this and, please allow me a little aside, as a fat man I am very impressed.

He is seeking sponsors. I have not yet but I will be and when I do I will go to this link right here: http://pages.teamintraining.org/snj/nattri09/schampion where I’m told that it is possible to “donate online quickly and securely plus learn more about my (or rather Scotty’s) progress. You will receive a confirmation of your donation by email, and I will be notified as soon as you make your donation.”

Gentle Readers if you are so inclined Scott thanks you for your generosity, come to think of it, so do I.

All the best Scotty, good luck and God bless.

Beyond the Dreams of Avarice

It is that time of year again where Geeks the world over bow to the west and worship at the Mecca that is the San Diego Comic-Con. At one time Comic-Con was only about the gushing of fan-boys over all things new, bright and shiny. While that is still the case it has grown to a multi-media, panel discussing, pop culture phenomenon. It is a place where movie makers, publishers, writers, actors, videogame developers, artists and everything in between present their wares for the next year to the world. Those with their finger on the pulse of such things, both buying and selling, recognize Comic-Con as the BIG one.

As for yours truly, I do not worship all things bright and shiny but I am a HUGE fan of storytelling and all of the ways that a story’s plot can be delivered. It is for this reason that Comic-Con captures my attention. …Well that and I am a card carrying Geek. This year I am looking forward to the “Tron 2.0” Trailer, the Doctor Who panel, Tim Burton’s panel on “Alice in Wonderland” and the film’s trailer and any dark horses that might separate themselves from the pack.

The 2009 Comic-Con starts today and runs all weekend.

FOOD on the HIGHWAY

The top three are Coffee, Hot Soup, and Tacos. And here I was pulling for Fondue, Lobster, or Alaskan King Crab legs.

Now Behold “The 10 Most Dangerous Foods to Eat While Driving” from Wired Magazine: http://www.wired.com/autopia/2009/07/dangerous-foods/. Insure.com has the information presented in a clear, concise fashion too: http://www.insure.com/car-insurance/driver-distractions.html.

People do stupid things. It’s like a moth to the flame. It’s just what we do and driving is no different. It is for this reason that I am petitioning congress to have the purchase and consumption of an Extra Value Meal part of the standardized driving test of these United States. One should be able to safely suck down a cheeseburger on the way from Point A to Point B. If this is too much to ask then you don’t deserve a license. You can join the fight by donating heavily to the cause as often as possible; please make checks payable to Evil Chicken. Together we CAN make a difference.

Gentle Reader; never forget the most dangerous part of a car is the nut behind the wheel.

Happy Birthday Nikola Tesla

One day late... 153 years ago, on July 10, 1856, Nikola Tesla was born in Serbia. He later moved to Paris and then to the United States. Tesla was brilliant, he was eccentric and he, quite literally, changed course of the world.

Nikola Tesla was one of the founding fathers of the harnessing of electricity and how it is used by each and every one of us today. His experiments with electricity and magnetism are the foundation on which our power grids are presently built. Tesla was on the frontlines of the “War of the Currents” between Thomas Edison and George Westinghouse. This war was to see who would dominate the future, Edison with Direct Current or Westinghouse with Alternating Current. Tesla had, at one time worked for Edison but Edison thought that his ideas for Alternating Current were foolish and could not be realized in the real world. Edison said of Tesla, “His ideas are splendid but they are utterly impractical.” Edison cheated Tesla out of work that he did for him and it was not long before that Tesla was working for Westinghouse. Westinghouse & Tesla won out in the end but that was not before Edison, seeing that his hold on the future was in jeopardy, went on a huge publicity campaign against AC power which included the electrocution of “Topsy” the elephant and the covert funding of the Electric Chair. The “Wizard of Menlo Park” had a bit of a dark side.

Tesla was also one of the original pioneers of Radio and was credited by the United States Supreme Court in 1943 for being the “Inventor of Radio”. Chances are he would have been the father of transatlantic communication via his Wardenclyffe Tower (see: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wardenclyffe_Tower) project but his funding ran out. Wikipedia (my favorite second brain and the main source of the data found in this particular blog) states this: “After his demonstration of wireless communication (radio) in 1894 and after being the victor in the "War of Currents", he was widely respected as one of the greatest electrical engineers who worked in America. Much of his early work pioneered modern electrical engineering and many of his discoveries were of groundbreaking importance. During this period, in the United States, Tesla's fame rivaled that of any other inventor or scientist in history or popular culture, but due to his eccentric personality and his seemingly unbelievable and sometimes bizarre claims about possible scientific and technological developments, Tesla was ultimately ostracized and regarded as a mad scientist. Never having put much focus on his finances, Tesla died impoverished at the age of 86.”

I wonder what the world would look like today if the whole Wardenclyffe Tower project was funded and successful. Wireless internet, that glorious modern wonder that we now take for granted, may have been available decades earlier. Yes, I know that’s pure, unadulterated speculation on my part but what if? Tesla was “ultimately ostracized and regarded as a mad scientist” and he “died impoverished at the age of 86.” He was too busy envisioning the future to take care of the present. Of his failure to find the backers needed to complete the construction of the Wardenclyffe Tower Tesla said, “It is not a dream, it is a simple feat of scientific electrical engineering, only expensive — blind, faint-hearted, doubting world! [...] Humanity is not yet sufficiently advanced to be willingly led by the discoverer's keen searching sense. But who knows? Perhaps it is better in this present world of ours that a revolutionary idea or invention instead of being helped and patted, be hampered and ill-treated in its adolescence — by want of means, by selfish interest, pedantry, stupidity and ignorance; that it be attacked and stifled; that it pass through bitter trials and tribulations, through the strife of commercial existence. So do we get our light. So all that was great in the past was ridiculed, condemned, combatted, suppressed — only to emerge all the more powerfully, all the more triumphantly from the struggle."

Nikola Tesla towards the end of his life may have been ridiculed and ostracized but he was a brilliant inventor and innovator who deserves a far better epitaph.

Happy Birthday Mr. Tesla

The E-Reader Blues

Someday, not today but sometime in the near future, from one electronic device you will be able to have an entire library of books in the palm of your hand. It will be a wonderful thing. Instead of lugging around a wheelbarrow full of textbooks or best sellers you will have it all at your fingertips wherever you go and whatever you want to read. Perhaps you will be able to download different books from online libraries the world over or, if you are in college, download the semester’s curriculum in one fell swoop. But that day has not arrived. Perhaps we will be able to procure new E-books from a variety of sources including the big three, Amazon, Boarders and Barnes & Noble – who’s to say? Again, that day has not yet come.

Alas, Amazon has the Kindle 2.0, which has now dropped in price to $299.00 from $360.00, is nice enough but the only place that you can get your E-books from is, shockingly, Amazon. Even with the price drop three hundred bucks is, at least for yours truly, a decent chunk of change; and then there’re all those books to buy at $10.00 a pop – discounted from an honest to goodness book in your hands but ten bucks, nonetheless (see: http://www.wired.com/gadgetlab/2009/04/kindle-readers/). And that’s just the Kindle. There’s a slue of these puppies hitting the marketplace and there are things to consider if you feel so inclined such at the jetBook (http://www.geardiary.com/2009/03/09/the-ectaco-jetbook-universal-portable-reading-device-review/) and the Cool-er (http://www.wired.com/gadgetlab/2009/05/cool-er-e-book-reader-turns-up-the-heat/). You are going to need to know if you can get the books/data that you want to read, you will want to know what formats are supported (very important) and, of course, you are going to want to know how much you are spending. I don’t know what to tell you, Gentle Reader, other than steering you to this nice little article on choosing an E-book Reader that may help clear things up a bit: http://www.wired.com/gadgetlab/2009/05/buying-guide-e-book-reader/. If that does not assuage your thirst for knowledge check out what my favorite second brain has to say on the subject: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/E-book_reader.

Man, I love me some Wikipedia.

Someday the book publishers and electronic media makers will come to some consensus. When that day arrives I will see about making the jump. Until then I will wait and dream of the titles that I would put onto such a device; several versions of the Bible, the Lord of the Rings Trilogy, the Hobbit, the entire Harry Potter and Gunslinger series would be worth rereading. I am also quite fond of Neil Gaiman, Jules Verne, Ian Fleming, Christopher Moore, Ray Bradbury, Edgar Allen Poe, Stephen King, Kurt Vonnegut, Mark Twain, Anne Rice, Shakespeare, Robert E. Howard, Edgar Rice Burroughs… the list really is endless and the idea of having THAT library with me waiting to be read on one device is wildly appealing. I’m probably not alone with this little desire for the future.

So on that one day in the not too distant future, just what will be on your E-book Reader?

Sci-Fi Goes to Syfy

Get a good look at the logo to the left; it’s about to disappear.

“Huh?”

Yup. That’s right the Sci-Fi Channel is changing up tomorrow to the Syfy or, perhaps, Syfy Channel.

“Why?”

I think it boils down to the idea that Syfy is copyrightable whereas Sci-Fi is not. Here’s a good article of the nuts and bolts of the decision: http://www.wired.com/underwire/2009/07/sci-fi-channel-reboots-as-syfy-with-eye-on-expanding-empire/.

So there you have it. Out with the old and in with the new. Sci-Fi is still Syfy its just that now Syfy can be trademarked. I enjoy some of the programming on the network; I absolutely loved Battlestar Galactica and Ghost Hunters is a guilty pleasure of mine. Who knows what’s next?

Ladies and Gentlemen… set your Tivos!

The Best of What’s Around – Summer Movies

Whatever tears at us, whatever holds us down, and if nothing can be done, we’ll make the best of what’s around. – Dave Matthews

I’m a bit of a snob, come to think of it, I’m also a bit of a slob but that’s not what I wanted to discuss just right now, Gentle Reader. I am, unapologetically, a bit of a movie snob – or rather Movie Geek… yeah, that sounds better. Anyway, last years writers strike has taken its toll at the movies this summer season. IMHO there is a distinct lack of films that are worth the price of admission at the multiplexes this year. I am still voting for “Star Trek” as the 900 lbs Gorilla of the season and I don’t see too many possible challengers to that title; “Up” maybe – possibly “Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince”. “Transformers II – Rise of the Fallen” and “G.I. Joe” are getting so much negative that I’m now just going to wait for the DVDs for both franchises.

That’s not to say that either of those franchises won’t make money. I predict that the Transformers movie will make a LOT of it but understand going in that you are going for a popcorn movie experience. There will be a lot of eye candy but it will leave you with empty calories and you’ll be hungry for the story that just was not included with the Happy Meal packaging. G.I. Joe; however, is going to flop. It is like the second coming of “Mega Force” which was a movie that was designed to sell toys and not to tell a story. I held high hopes for it as a kid in the early eighties and I still remember actually feeling embarrassed for the actors who were attached to this career ending abomination. As a member of the audience in attendance I felt used. I felt abused. It was so significantly forgettable that it is only now – so close to the release of the G.I. Joe movie, that I remember the experience in full and tremble.

So what’s a boy to do? Why you make the best of what’s around. Here is what I’m looking forward to the rest of the summer movie season. Yes, I know that I just did a similar blog a couple of weeks ago but things have changed since then and I have to face the cold, hard reality that I can’t get to the theater as often as I would like to. I’ve got to be picky and embrace my inner Movie Snob/Geekness. That leaves me with these possible options…

1. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. This will happen. I’m taking all of the girls and we’re actually going to the theater and checking it out. It is a great story and I’m looking forward to seeing how it translates to the big screen.

2. Moon. A science fiction character study that takes place (get this) ON THE MOON! Spin is good and it’s right up my alley.

3. The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus. Terry Gilliam is the storyteller. Johnny Depp is in there too as is a last performance from Heath Ledger. Gilliam is pretty solid at being worth the price of admission.

4. District 9. Some guy named Peter Jackson is producing and he put the guy that he wanted to put HALO on the big screen in charge. This will be a cool afternoon at the movies.

5. ??? I just don’t know. Perhaps something of a dark horse will rear it’s head and come from behind. If it happens that would be great; unfortunately, the name of that horse is not on my race form.

Slim pickin’s. Still I shouldn’t complain – good stories are still being told despite the majority of the stuff that Hollywood seems to greenlight these days. Please forgive me, Gentle Reader, that sounded a bit harsh… did I mention that I’m a Movie Snob/Geek?

I’ll see you at the multiplex – not as often as I would have hoped this year but there nonetheless.

Death – the High Cost of Living

The old Circle of Life is spinning at an amazing rate these days. It has been said that “It is not how we die, since all do that, but it is how we live.” I have to agree with that. Life is a precious and fragile thing, lest there be no doubt. It comes for the just and the unjust, the rich and the poor – it does not discriminate. It does not matter if you are some famous celebrity or just someone sitting on a Metro train in Washington DC; it is simply the way of things.

I do not bring this up to bring you down, Gentle Reader it’s just that it is hard not to notice that it’s not a good time to be a celebrity these days. We have very recently lost Bea Arthur, David Carradine, Garry Papa, Ed McMahon, Farah Fawcett, and, now, Michael Jackson? It is not a form of celebrity worship that I speak from they are only human like you and me – flesh and blood; it’s just that in some odd way these people and the rest of us share a history. I used to watch “All in the Family” with my mom and dad, “Kung Fu” was a staple in the seventies, Channel 6 Sports was & will always be Garry Papa’s, “The Tonight Show” was always started with a hearty; “HERE’S JOHNNY!”, that amazing woman on THAT poster was in “Charlie’s Angels” and married to Lee Majors (the Six Million Dollar Man), and “Thriller” was playing on my 33 1/3d record player.

My thoughts and my prayers are with all of those that they left behind – including us. After all, we share a history.

Take care, Gentle Reader. Much love, God bless.



(Picture of Blake’s Tombstone from http://www.bspcn.com/2007/07/21/12-hilarious-tombstones/.)