DON’T TOUCH ME!

I’m a fan of New Jersey 101.5. It’s a talk radio station here in the Garden State. I’m at a point in my life where I prefer talk radio to the mass-produced corporate product that passes as music these days that top 40 radio stations continue to spit out. Just whatever happened to musicians who actually played an instrument and could make a harmony? It will come back, I’m sure but until then I’m hooked on talk radio.

I’m not so much a fan of the morning drive but come 10:00 AM, my radio is usually set for the Dennis and Judy Show. The same can be said for 2:00 PM, when the Jersey Guys, Craig Carton and Ray Rossi hit the airwaves.

Anyway, I don’t always agree with them (either show) but I am always entertained and informed on the goings on in the state that I call home.

I added a new link that has become a Panic Button for me lately. I find if I just click on the “DON’T TOUCH ME!” I feel better. It is from the Dennis and Judy Show. You can click on the link right here to your right under Evil Chicken’s Favorite Places. Not fer nothin’, you’ll feel better too.

Joel Siegel has Passed

Here is the Yahoo story: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070630/ap_en_mo/obit_joel_siegel_18;_ylt=AsS0nsvB3Ac0EdYZxyttNsME1vAI and here is the ABC write-up: http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=3331709.

This struck me this morning when I read of his passing. What a loss. He was accessible, genuine and had such joy about him as he shared his passion for film with the rest of us. The way he faced life and death is not only a lesson for Dylan it’s a lesson for us all.

My sincere prayers and condolences to both his family & friends at this time of grieving. He was one of the good ones and he’ll be missed.

I’ve been crazy busy…

17,000 words plus on the screenplay, thus far; (see Script Frenzy link to the right). My writing partner has been great and we have slipped into a very natural working relationship. It's a good thing and it’s rocking. But that’s not what I wanted to pass along to you Gentle Reader… No. As it turns out I wanted to drop a tidbit about the “Iron Man” movie that will be coming out next year…

It’s a good one.

Samuel L. Jackson is going to be Nick Fury.

Yeah… more perfect casting there has never been (looking at Ultimate Avengers that is). I am torked for this flick. Then again I’m also stoked for Indiana Jones IV and “Batman – The Dark Knight.” …Have you seen the publicity shots? Entirely too cool.

2008 is looking very good.

All right, I’ve got to get back to typing.

Take care!

389.6

…Miles that is. It is the distance from The Chicken’s Nest, here in the Swamps of Jersey to Assateague Island, Maryland and back give or take a few miles for pit stops and Starbucks runs. This has become a family tradition for us. Every Father’s Day we camp on the beach with the wild ponies and go to the Maryland Geocachers Association’s Bonfire on the Beach. The fires and ponies are all well and good but the real crazy stuff happens when the girls and me hit the beach. You see Gentle Reader, the waves there are not like the waves that we are accustom too down here at the southern end of the Jersey Shore – oh no; these are WAVES and they will take you out. Somewhere down deep there is a gene that pulls me (and the three chicks too) to water. It is magnetic. Being in and ultimately a part of the shear force and energy of the ocean is an amazing experience. Being caught up in an 8 to 12-foot wave, riding the swell like a cork as it passes you by on its way to break against the beach is something that just must be experienced to truly appreciate. What an undertow! We read about the riptides but didn’t experience any – which I am pleased about since being caught in one could sweep you out hundreds of yards into the Atlantic Ocean. No – none of us are that good a swimmer so we just play in the waves. We absolutely love it.

The campsite was great and we shared it with friends from New Jersey – geocachers and friends all. As a family the five of us camp in a tent usually without electricity or water, but this year we had the luxury of having an electric site, which was great since I could plug in my C-Pap and breath through the night.

Oh yeah, good times.

My early Father’s Day present, Maggie (a dash mounted Magellan GPS unit), performed amazingly once again. Mother Hen can now sleep without me asking when our next turn will be; that’s a good thing since she got a pretty good sun poisoning on her leg and did a lot of sleeping on the ride home. Come to think of it, she’s sleeping now as I write this.

The kids and I, after packing, took one last look at the ocean. I stood there with my babies and thanked them for such a wonderful Father’s Day weekend. Priceless.

Thanks also go to the wonderful woman I married. I would have told her on the beach too but she was busy applying aloe to her blistered and weeping leg.

Good times, good times.

I love you lady.

Signed; the luckiest man alive, Evil Chicken

Happy Father’s Day

My writing partner and I are well underway on the Script Frenzy project. June we write it, July we edit, August we film, September we edit (the film this time) and October we will be premiering the movie. I see the film as “Deliverance” meets “Blair Witch”. It focuses on the misadventures of a group of poker buddies who get caught up in a series of events in the Pine Barrens in between the forces of good and of evil.

It’s happening. No kidding.

If there’s anyone out there who wants to be in a movie, have a good time and probably some coffee and donuts STAY TUNED. Understand that it’s not a paying gig. My partner and I can’t pay you dime one BUT we can say that you will walk away from the experience being able to say that YOU were an actor in a film that can be purchased on DVD and is registered with the Library of Congress; that's right YOU will be able to say that YOU are an actor - and really mean it. Yes Gentle Reader, it will be coming soon.

Just let me know. You can do so right here. If August is good for you – wonderful; we’d love to have you aboard. It will be quick and reasonably painless. : ) ...Resonably.

In other news... The EC-5 are heading down to Assategue Island to camp on the beach with the wild horses. We’ve done this now for the last 4 or 5 years or so and it’s a blast. We’ve seen the horses raid campsites and let me tell you it’s not easy trying to shoo a 600-pound animal away from a box of gram crackers when it’s got a mind for snacking. The ocean is wonderful. The waves are bigger and the water clarity is better than here in New Jersey – although, to be fair the clarity has improved greatly in our water over the last decade or so. It’s also the Maryland Geocacher’s Bonfire on the Beach. Nice people – big fire, good times.

It should be a blast. I won’t be bringing the laptop since getting sand in it and having it not working would bring me to tears. The next phase of the script will be hand written so that I can transfer it over to proper script format when my laptop and I are reunited.

…And it will feel so good.

The kids have already given me my cards and I was given a roof sack (?) for gear, which is on the truck and ready to rock. I am blessed with, dare I say, the three best girls in the world and the woman who gave them to me. For them I thank the Man upstairs.

Happy Father’s Day, Gentle Reader… (if you’re a dad that is.)

AARP – Where Is Thy Sting?

My oldest daughter, the first of the Three Chicks, is having her eighth grade graduation tonight. She’s going to be entering high school. She and her mother are out right now getting her hair cut for tonight’s ceremony. Three nights ago they came home with a dress – something that my tomboy daughter had sworn off and only begrudgingly agreed to wear. Her mother asked her to try it on so that I could see her in it and she obliged. When she came out of the bathroom I was stunned. My little girl is now a young woman. There is no denying the fact.

And so it goes.

My daughter and I have done nothing but joke about the eighth grade graduation. We have giggled about it – telling ourselves that it’s “not that big a deal.” I’m beginning to feel that I was wrong; wrong in encouraging the laughter at the night’s expense. I’m beginning to see that it is a bigger deal than I suspected.

My oldest daughter is entering High School. In four years time there will be another graduation and another daughter entering High School and THAT is only four years away…

Four years.

Tempus Fugit, gentle reader. Enjoy it for all it’s worth while you can.

There and Back Again. A Chicken’s Tale

We are home and thanking God for a wonderful time together and a safe trip back home. As you know if you’ve been following the “On The Road Again” series we the Evil Chicken 5 (EC-5) attended GEOWOODSTOCK 5. What a gathering. When we first arrived on the scene on Friday we were met with the sight of scores of campers & tents and cars with license plates from far and wide all converging at the North Carolina State Fairgrounds. I don’t know what the official tally was yet but both the Friday Night Meet and Greet and Geo-Woodstock 5 will qualify for “Mega-Event” status. After registration you moved onto one of three maps; one of North Carolina, one of the United States and one of the World. Colorful pins gave a hint at the scope of this Event. There were people from Europe, Canada, California and, yes, New Jersey! At the event were different coin venders, REI & Ground Speak tents, dozens of boxes for travel bugs heading in all directions around the globe, silent auctions, cache runs with kayaks & 4x4’s, food, presentations & workshops and a whole boatload of likeminded people. The pig roast was legendary which is good since that’s how I like to eat.

Yesterday we chose to make the drive back to NJ; caching along the way. We racked up a total of 926.6 miles on the Explorer and a million miles of memories that we can always take with us wherever we go. The sponsors and volunteers of this event all deserve a standing ovation for this one. There was so much that went into the planning and execution of this event; procuring an area, food, health services (just in case), sponsorship and a host of other concerns are no easy feats when dealing with an event of this caliber. Seriously.

The announcement came from the stage on Saturday as to where Geo-Woodstock 6 will be held – Sacramento California. I do believe that I’m gonna have to start saving my pennies. I sense a road trip in our future…

On The Road Again Part III

The kids and I are basking in the glow of beholding “Pirates of the Caribbean – At World’s End” last night here in Raleigh. A word of warning before I go any further; I will try to be fair and balanced with my review but please understand, I have a serious preoccupation with the source material. I’m a pirate fan and a “Pirates of the Caribbean” (POC from here on) and, let’s face it, I’m jaded; that being said, the third film in the trilogy delivers – big time. For my money, I’d have to say that it has been the finest movie at the multiplex thus far into the summer movie season and that’s saying something. “Spiderman 3”, which was flawed but still well worth the price of admission to date was POC’s only competition to date. All that may change when “Transformers” is released on July Fourth but for now, Pirates is king – as it should be. I was too old to fully appreciate the “Transformers” craze of the eighties but piracy? Piracy is timeless.

I will tread lightly with the spoilers but if you wish to remain unscathed by the following paragraph and discover the joys of POC yourself at your local multiplex then skip this paragraph. …Still here? Great. Ted Elliot and Terry Rossio (the screenwriters) have done a great job of tying up all of the loose ends. Really. All the plot points; just who does Elizabeth really love, Davy Jones lost love, Norrington, is Jack dead, the Kraken, Bootstrap Bill’s fate, will Will Turner get the chance to plunge the dagger into Davy Jones’ heart and the very fate of piracy on the high seas; all of ‘em, tied up nicely in a close to three hour long package. The time flew by in a swashbuckling blur and we were not disappointed. All of the actors did a wonderful job of bringing these characters to life once more and Gore Verbinski knows how to tell a story. Keith Richards delivers as Sparrow’s father. His scenes aren’t long but they are memorable. Even with all the resolutions in the plotlines there is the possibility of a part IV. Logistically speaking would Disney walk away from a film franchise that has netted them over 1.3 billion dollars? Nope – I don’t think so either. Go see it before you hear about what happens second hand (I hate when that happens).

We will be heading over to Geo-Woodstock 5 in the near future to soak up the festivities and atmosphere. We’ve already seen many friends and familiar faces. The event promises to be pretty amazing with the gathering of close to 2,000 cachers. There are different vendors, presentations, workshops and chances to meet a whole boatload of likeminded people. We’ll hang, maybe come back to the Hotel for some swimming and then head back for the pig roast. I hear it will be legendary. That’s a good thing since that is how I eat.

I’ll tell you all about it later. Until then, keep a weather eye on the horizon.

On The Road Again Part II

We are in the process of field-testing “Maggie” our new Magellan Roadmate, a windshield mounted GPS unit. Maggie has a great voice and is pretty good with directions; pretty awesome, in fact. The unit takes much of the guesswork and white knuckle – Road Warrior driving tactics out of whatever road trip you are making. I am very impressed. I’m told that it is my Father’s Day present. I don’t mind in the least. Our other GPS unit is a Garmin Legend. It’s seen over 760 geocaches or so; and it’s still going strong. Yeah, yeah – product loyalty and all that… You really need to hear Maggie’s sweet voice when she says, “make a right in two tenths.” Ah, it’s music to my ears.

We spent our first night camping at Pocahontas State Park in Virginia. What a beautiful spot. I highly recommend it. Mother Hen did an amazing job of finding this park; as usual. Not to brag but we’ve gotten pretty good at putting up and taking down our Coleman tent. We love this thing; it’s big enough to fit the whole crew (including the dog) with gear but the feature that I love most has got to be the door – it’s on a hinge and Velcros shut; too cool. We show this feature to other campers who walk away both in shock and awe. Any way we left after breaking camp and drove about four and a half hours to Raleigh North Carolina to our hotel room at the Holiday Inn (where I am typing this from BTW, Gentle Reader).

We are about to head out to the Raleigh Fair Grounds for a Geo-Coin extravaganza number one and, hopefully getting something to eat (I’m wasting away). After that we’re heading to Geo-Coin extravaganza number two. I do believe that there is a viewing of “Pirates of the Caribbean – At World’s End” in the cards for the evening too.

Oh yes… We shall see what we shall see. I’ll check in with you later, Gentle Reader; until then – adieu!

On The Road Again

The EC-5 is hitting the open road once more. We are going camping in Virginia and then pressing onward to Geo Woodstock 5 in Charlotte North Carolina.

What’s a Geo Woodstock 5? Oh Gentle Reader, I am never unimpressed with your curiosity. Geo Woodstock 5 is a Mega-Geocache Event. It is held each year at a different location. There will be over 2,000 geocachers from all over the world there. That’s a lot of people. It should be a hoot. I’m taking the laptop so maybe I’ll be able to update from the event? One never knows. There is going to be a big Geo Coin Gathering as well. Mother Hen was bitten by the coin bug and is very excited to be going. Yours truly and the Three Chicks are going to check out “Pirates of the Caribbean – At World’s End” at a local multiplex.

I can’t wait; neither can the girls.

We might be camping our way back to Jersey too. I hope that this is the case since I’m off from work and I’m not getting any younger. I am so thankful that I can share this time with my wife and kids. We want the Three Chicks to look back on these times with a smile and say to each other, “How about the time our crazy parents took us on all those crazy adventures!” No. It would be even better if they said to their own individual families, “Hop in the Jeep and let’s go see what’s around the corner!” They would be plotting their own travels and reporting the back to us, Grand Ma & Grand Pa. They would be charting their own courses and having their own grand adventures. That, Gentle Reader, would be cool; too cool.

These are the good old days my friends; make them count.

The Drive-In

I grew up (partially) right outside of Wildwood, NJ. Waaaaay back in the seventies there was a double drive-in theater in Rio Grand; it was aptly named the Rio Drive-In. It was great. You could go with your parents or your friends parents, sit on the top of the station wagon and if the film you were watching wasn’t your bag for the evening then all you had to do was turn around and see the rated “R” horror fest playing on the other side. Hey – that’s how I saw “JAWS” for the first time. My mother had taken me to see “Peter Pan” but what I really wanted was all of the carnage that Bruce the rubber shark could dish out, so up to the roof I went. After seeing the film I couldn’t get into the bathtub without thinking of how “a shark’s eyes are like a doll’s eyes…” I knew for a fact that that soulless fish would find a way to swim up through our pipes and devour me whole. I still check for dorsal fins before adding the bubbles.

I remember moving to Vineland in the early eighties and being very pleased that they had a drive-in too. Heck there was even one over in Bridgeton – a town not all that far from my new home. I was there for them all – to take in the splendor of the love affair between the car and the cinema. I was also there when they started to die away. The Beta Max and VCR began to take their toll. People could watch B-movies right from the comfort of their own homes now; why on earth would you want to put yourself out and go to a drive-in? My beloved Rio Drive-In was the first to succumb – it became a series of strip malls. The Delsea Drive-In in Vineland had a slow death as a porn theater before passing away into that good night (if Pee Wee Herman only knew!) and the Bridgeton Drive-In became a Shop Rite.

That’s progress. Well, for the past few years it has been re-opened and now the Delsea Drive-In Theater lives again! Gentle Reader, if you get a chance go and support them. It is New Jersey’s ONLY Drive-In Theater. It would be nice to see it stay around. I don’t know if there is a way to get it onto the national list of historical places but that’s a petition I would sign.

Here’s their web site: http://www.delseadrive-in.com/. The features change weekly so keep checking in. Bring a radio and some lawn chairs or just do it the old-fashioned way and watch from the comfort of your own car. They’ve got concessions and flushing toilets (wow!) but plan your bathroom breaks accordingly since the line can get deep just after the first movie.

So what are some great movies to see at the Drive-In? Just like the flavor of Soylent Green, it varies from person to person. I think it would be great to have “Mad Max”, “Close Encounters”, and “Night of the Living Dead “,” Twister, “Blade Runner” and, of course, “JAWS” in their repertoire but what do I know… What do you think would make a good triple feature at the Drive-In?

See you in the line for the bathroom!

Happy Mother's Day

You know what? I’m a glutton for punishment. I just wanted it known. I usually write a short script each week for the puppet ministry at our church (hey – that’s ok, it’s for God’s glory; not mine) but… I’m also heavily involved with several other major writing projects including this blog, my own personal “Bradbury Challenge”, a novel that I stepped away from for a period of time AND now – Script Frenzy (www.scriptfrenzy.org). Yep, one of my writing partners and I are hooking up for this event. It should be a blast. It’s a good time to be a writer but not a good time to be a writer who has to tend to things such as family, career and assorted other obligations. Man oh man – thank God I keep a notebook at hand.

Look – I know that I’m not the next Kurt Vonnegut or Hunter S. Thompson; but I don’t have to be. All I have to be is right here baby, yours truly, Evil Chicken.

Man, I’m tired – but more on that later; I have tales to tell…

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!

And Now… Haiku

There’s a Haiku game going on over at the boards of Script Frenzy. What’s Script Frenzy? Well here’s their website… www.scriptfrenzy.org. I mentioned it before on Chicken Scratch (check out the 4/14/07, blog entry).

Why Haiku? Hey – why not?

Twenty Thousand Words
There are Thirty Days in June
Time to Start Typing

That’s Quite a Deadline
I Know It Can Be Done
Coffee is Our Friend

Format? Worry Not
Not as Daunting as it Sounds
You’ll Write a Screenplay!

The Month is Looming
You May Not Have Done So Yet
But You Can Do It

So there you have it; encouragement in Haiku. Gentle reader, what do you say? Are you in or are you out? It’s a great concept and how many people do you know who write screenplays or plays in a month’s time? If you enjoy writing and having fun assembling plot lines and dialogue, then this is for you.

Yours truly, Evil Chicken, highly recommends it. Step out of your comfort zone, do some gymnastics with your word processor and become a screenwriter! You may walk out of the month of June a playwright and just how cool is that?

Very cool, gentle reader; very cool indeed.

I Am Iron Man

Geek alert…

E.W. has broken the first look at the Iron Man Mark III Armor from next May’s Iron Man staring Robert Downey Jr. The casting is perfect and this… http://www.ew.com/ew/article/0,,20037509,00.html is spot on the money.

This one is an opening nighter – no doubt.

Oh My Stars and Garters

I wasn’t a fan of the first Fantastic Four movie BUT this…

http://www.apple.com/trailers/fox/fantasticfourriseofthesilversurfer/trailer-medium.html

looks amazing.

In other news… Script Frenzy (http://www.scriptfrenzy.org/) should go live at midnight… Theoretically. Hey, if you’ve ever wanted to write a script or a play JUNE is the time. Get yer outlines together and join in on the insanity.

It’ll do you good.

Oh My Stars and Garters

I wasn’t a fan of the first Fantastic Four movie BUT this…

http://www.apple.com/trailers/fox/fantasticfourriseofthesilversurfer/trailer-medium.html

looks amazing.

In other news… Script Frenzy (www.scriptfrenzy.org) should go live at midnight… Theoretically. Hey, if you’ve ever wanted to write a script or a play JUNE is the time. Get yer outlines together and join in on the insanity.

It’ll do you good.

Fun with Political Franchises

Just playing devil’s advocate but how easy would it be to abuse this system?

(Double click the You Tube link for the commercial) http://blog.wired.com/tableofmalcontents/2007/04/waco_crime_stop.html

The answer to this question is pretty darn easy. I happen to live in a state where anonymous tips can be used from everything from road rage episodes to child welfare issues. One can claim anything and it will be investigated at taxpayer expense. Scary stuff, really. Just whatever happened to the concept of “innocent until proven guilty”? The issue really goes to the core of a lot of things that have been happening here in the land of the free and the home of the brave ever since 9/11. I understand that these are trying times and that there is a war on two fronts going on. What gnaws at me is that we happily give up freedoms and rights for the sake of what the government or lobbyists tell us is for our protection – tell us what is for our own good. Meanwhile, no one takes notice as these small freedoms disappear and it is only until the state comes knocking at ones own front door to bring us back in line that we realize that the freedoms that we have taken for granted for as long as we remember no longer exist.

That’s scary.

Now then… Let’s lighten things up a bit. Instead of me rambling about the inherent dangers within our own system of government or the evils of letting the state think for you, let’s exercise our right to free speech and play a game! It’ll be multiple choice. I’ll list some different types of governments and you guess which one it is. (Special thanks to my favorite second brain, “Wikipedia”.) Fun stuff, huh?

An Autocracy is…

a. Rule by Law
b. Rule by Minority
c. Rule by No One
d. Rule by One
e. Rule by Majority

An Oligarchy is…

a. Rule by Law
b. Rule by Minority
c. Rule by No One
d. Rule by One
e. Rule by Majority

Anarchy is…

a. Rule by Law
b. Rule by Minority
c. Rule by No One
d. Rule by One
e. Rule by Majority

A Democracy is…

a. Rule by Law
b. Rule by Minority
c. Rule by No One
d. Rule by One
e. Rule by Majority

A Republic is…

a. Rule by Law
b. Rule by Minority
c. Rule by No One
d. Rule by One
e. Rule by Majority

SCROLL DOWN FOR THE ANSWERS…






































Autocracy = D
Oligarchy = B
Anarchy = C
Democracy = E
Republic = A

Now wasn’t that refreshing! It almost makes me forget how easily the lines that define these political franchises can shift and blur from time to time.

Thanks for playing along! We’ll see you next time here at Chicken Scratch!

The Doctor Is IN

Doctor Who Season III will be seen on American shores this July. Here’s the article from Variety…

http://www.variety.com/article/VR1117963646.html?categoryid=1237&cs=1&p=0

It’s a good time to be a geek.

Quick Little Updates

It is a beautiful day so I thought that before I hit the trails I’d touch base with the good ole’ blog – Chicken Scratch. Here are a couple of quick little updates…

Yesterday marked seventeen years of marriage between Mother Hen and I. Seventeen years. We’ve seen a lot happen in that time. I wrote her a hopelessly romantic letter (which I won’t go into the details of here gentle reader). Let’s just say that I love that woman very deeply – more so now than then and that I’m excited to see what the next seventeen years will bring.

I received a letter from Asimov’s Science Fiction magazine. My short story “did not suit the needs of the magazine at this time.” Alas, such is life – especially the life of writer; one must understand the concept of rejection. It’s just part of the process. Hey, perhaps they’ll print the next thing I send them? One never knows. Isaac Asimov said, “You must keep sending your work out; you must never let a manuscript do nothing but eat its head off in a drawer. You send that work out again and again, while you’re working on another one. If you have talent, you will receive some measure of success – but only if you persist.”

Here’s to persistence!

“Hot Fuzz” opens in American theaters today. “What’s that?” Once more, gentle reader, you have asked precisely the right question. “Hot Fuzz” is the new movie from the Writers, Actors and Director from “Shaun of the Dead” (one of my take to a deserted island movies BTW). Simon Pegg, Edgar Wright and Nick Frost bring the magic once again. Instead of zombies, Pegg and Frost are two cops investigating a bizarre set of “accidents” that happen to look like murders in a quaint little English town. Mayhem ensues.

Sign me up.

All right, it’s a little after mid-day and I’m here at the computer. That won’t do. It’s too nice. I’m gathering the family and hitting the trails. I’ll talk with you soon, Gentle Reader.

Evil Chicken signing off.

H.P. Memorium

I’m still mourning the passing of my friend and companion, H.P. Laptop. She was a little over six years old and had a history of problems with her hard drive. She underwent a transplant, which staved off the inevitable for a good four years or so. After an autopsy the original cause of death (corrupted bios files) was thrown out and it was discovered that her hard drive had suffered a major cerebrovascular accident. Lost with her were 5 short stories that I was working on (a Bradbury Challenge setback), a few puppet ministry plays and one or two blogs. I look back at so many happy times and those moments I will always have with me. I completed two nanowrimo’s (see www.nanowrimo.org), listened to about 1,700 different MP3s, viewed albums of pictures and thousands of other documents while basking in H.P.’s LCD glow.

…

H.P. is survived by the backup disk I made a month before her passing. Hey, when it’s your time – it’s your time. Though there is emptiness there is also new life; found in the new Compaq laptop that I am typing this memoriam on. It is helping to fill the void. She’s lighter and has a wider screen than H.P. I like to think that H.P. would be happy.

H.P. Laptop – thank you for your faithful service.

Kilgore Trout at Last at Rest

Kurt Vonnegut Jr., the pessimistic genius is no more. He passed away on 4/11/07, due to head injuries sustained in a fall. He was 84 years old. If you haven’t read him – try him.

Here’s the link for his obituary from the N.Y. Times. http://www.nytimes.com/2007/04/12/books/12vonnegut.html?ex=1191988800&en=aa747f8e1cf65243&ei=5087&excamp=GGGNkurtvonnegut

In “Welcome to the Monkey House” a collection of short stories that he wrote you will find one of my all time favorites, “Long Walk to Forever” – it’s a wonderful love story.

Mark Twain (someone whom Vonnegut will always be compared to) said this, “a writer ought to comfort the afflicted, and afflict the comfortable.” Vonnegut did just that.

Kilgore Trout… you will be missed.

Script Frenzy

New from the creators of NaNoWriMo (http://www.nanowrimo.org/), National Novel Writing Month comes a new creative challenge SCRIPT FRENZY (http://www.scriptfrenzy.org/). What’s the challenge? Good question, Gentle Reader. Here are the…

5 BASIC RULES OF SCRIPT FRENZY

1. To be crowned an official Script Frenzy winner, you must write a script of at least 20,000 words and verify this word count on ScriptFrenzy.org.

2. You may write individually or in teams of two. Writer teams will have a 20,000 total word goal for their single co-written script.

3. Script writing may begin no earlier than 12:01 AM on June 1 and must cease no later than 11:59 PM on June 30, local time.

4. You may write either a screenplay or a stage play.

5. You must, at some point, have ridiculous amounts of fun.

And there you have it. Check out their teaser site for the FAQ.

So Gentle Reader who wants to write a Script or a Play? I know for a fact that there are some amazingly creative types who are reading this right now. You can do it. I kid you not. There is a pretty interesting group of writers out there too, believe it or not, right here in South Jersey. Who knows – we just may meet up one day at a Boarders, Barnes & Noble or coffee shop to discuss our progress on our latest projects. Stay tuned. I haven’t fully committed to this yet but I have signed up for updates. One way or another I guarantee it will be a boatload of fun.

Please Go Away

I posted the following at aintitcoolnews.com this morning. It appears that there is a biopic being made of Anna Nichole Smith’s life. I posted this long before hearing a similar view on a New Jersey talk radio station today. Here’s a link to the original story: http://www.aintitcool.com/?q=node/32241. And here is my cheerful response...

“There is not one redeemable facet of the human condition that has ever been a part of this tale. This biopic will appeal only to those who have the time to sit and watch “Morey” or “The Jerry Springer Show.” Unfortunately, that is a lot of people. Mike Judge was right with “Idiocracy.” The movie wasn’t the best but the sentiment is way too close to the mark. How about the crowds cheering for the successful semen guy? I weep for the future. I had high hopes that all of these non-issue issues would disappear from our headlines once the woman was laid to rest but no – these idiots are still grabbing headlines from a war in Iraq and Afghanistan. What is wrong with us and can it be changed – or is Mike Judge right after all? Wow.”

Please forgive me for sounding so negative, Gentle Reader. Yes, sure its tragic, yes it’s a train wreck – no doubt. My hope is that this will be the train wreck that we can (as a society) collectively look away from.

“…I’ve been asking the cops wherever I go, have you seen dignity?” – Bob Dylan

The Return of Indiana Jones

Click here for the details > http://www.usatoday.com/life/people/2007-04-04-george-lucas_N.htm?csp=34

Production begins in June in Los Angeles, “before heading off to various ‘top secret’ locations” around the world. The fourth Indiana Jones movie remains unnamed at this time since Lucas wants to hold out for the trailer to premier. There have been rumors across the web…

Indiana Jones and the Truss of Doom

Indiana Jones and the Quest for Regularity

Indiana Jones and the Last Viagra

Indiana Jones Verses the Evil of the HMO

Indiana Jones and the Senior Buffet of Fortune

Indiana Jones and the AARP Card of Validation

Indiana Jones and the Leaky Bladder

Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the 401K

… “Raiders of the Lost Ark” is on my list as one of the greatest movies ever made; seriously – near perfection. The storytelling is sharp, the acting is spot on and there are NO throw away scenes in the whole of the picture. Here at Evil Chicken HQ all I have to do it look over my right shoulder to see a framed original one-sheet from the film – it’s the only original I have in my collection. I love this movie. Love it. Spielberg and Lucas bottled lightning with its inception and premier. How it came to be is cool enough on its own. Two of our era’s great filmmakers sitting on a Hawaiian beach geeking out over what would be a cool movie series. One of them suggests something like James Bond and the other says No – even better. And so, Indiana Jones was born. “Raiders of the Lost Ark” came to be. The subsequent sequels, “Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom” and “Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade” were passable but were nowhere near the synergy of Raiders.

I remember going to the old Landis Theater (now boarded up and awaiting renovation) in Vineland with my father to see Temple of Doom. I was so ready for it to be Raiders; so ready for the next step in development of the characters and so disappointed when I left the theater. TOD was a prequel to Raiders and theoretically all the events in the picture occurred before Indy and Marion retrieve the Lost Ark. So no reuniting Harrison Ford and Karen Allen on the big screen; no this time Indy is toting along an orphaned kid, “Short Round” played by Ke Huy Quan (who went on to become a Goonie) with him now and a new love interest, “Willie Scott” played by Kate Capshaw (who went on to become Mrs. Spielberg). This was a bit of a downer for me since “Marion Ravenwood” was more than a match for “Indy” and the chemistry between Allen and Ford was smoking. Another thing that snagged me along the way was believability. Yes, I know this is an action movie produced by Lucas and directed by Spielberg but please don’t throw away all reason. The heart removing stuff with “Mola Ram” played adeptly by Amrish Puri just lost me. Either you have to explain the heart extraction away as a trick that Mola Ram is doing or you have to spend more time explaining why he can do it and why people don’t immediately die once their hearts are out of their chests. The device is used at the end on the rope bridge too with similar results. “Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom” is watchable but it’s not a worthy successor to Raiders.

The third film is better than Temple of Doom. Gone are Willie Scott and Short Round (what happens to them hasn’t been explained yet); replacing them is none other than Sir Sean Connery. James Bond is Indiana Jones’s father. Now there’s a shinning geek moment for you. The interplay between Ford and Connery is great and fun to watch as the son searches for the father and, ultimately, the Holy Grail. River Phoenix (yes – he did have his whole life ahead of him) adeptly plays a young Indiana Jones for in the beginning of the picture where we see how Indy got the whip, the jacket, the fedora, his fear of snakes and his taste for fortune & glory. There are writer’s conveniences that take the viewer out of the film and some throw away characters but all in all The Last Crusade is a superb entertainment. It’s not Raiders but it ended things on a high note with our heroes even riding out of the canyon into the sunset to that great John William’s march.

Fast-forward 13 years or so; Spielberg, Ford and Lucas start talking about a possible fourth movie. Spielberg starts seeking screenwriters to take a whack at the next Indiana Jones. One of those screenwriters is Mr. Frank Darabont (the Oscar winning writer who did the adaptations of Stephen King’s, “The Shawshank Redemption” and “The Green Mile). Rumor has it he wrote a script that reunited Karen Allen and Harrison Ford once again. The rumor goes farther and it has been said that Spielberg and Ford loved it. Lucas however wasn’t convinced and turned the script down opting instead for a film where Indy’s love interest will be the wonderful Cate Blanchett and his son Shia LaBeouf (the kid from Disney’s “Even Stevens”, “Holes” and or the soon to be released “Transformers” Movie). This is conjecture – gentle reader and only time will tell. Indy IV will begin filming in June of ’07. Personally, even with a 64 year-old Harrison Ford I’m still on board. While I’d have loved to have seen Darabont’s version on the big screen with the return of Karen Allen in a lead role, just seeing one of my all time favorite movie series on the big screen one more time sends gooseflesh a quiverin’ down my fan boy arms. …Still… just what will the new movie be called?

Indiana Jones and the Phantom Flatulence

Indiana Jones and Those Damned Kids Are on My Lawn AGAIN!

Indiana Jones and the Eternal Left Turn Signal

Indiana Jones and the Lost Dentures

Indiana Jones and the Marauders of the Prescription Program

Indiana Jones and the Bursting Undergarment

Indiana Jones and the Parking Lot of the Lost Car

Indiana Jones Verses the Waiter at Applebee’s

...Only time will tell.

Happy Easter Gentle Reader

It was cold here in the Swamps of Jersey this Resurrection Day. The choir (yep – it includes this chicken) sang for all three services. Afterwards we went over Mother Hen’s Aunt’s house to hide eggs (36 of ‘em) for the three chicks to find. Good stuff.

The choir has really made a progression; as it turns out we are told to, “make a joyful noise to the Lord”; in my case it’s more like making a noise but the process had been a joy. It’s gonna be fun.

Performances will be at 7:00 PM, at Calvary Chapel Vineland on 4/13, 4/14 and 4/15. No pressure, Gentle Reader but if you’re in the area feel free to stop by. I’ll try not to trip while stepping along to the dance numbers.

Happy Easter!

The Naked Hikers

We paid a visit to our friends in North Jersey this weekend. Here’s the write up of what I submitted for our log at Geocaching.com / Big Green…

Listen… I’m not one to tell tales out of sort but something that happened to us, the EC-5 (well @ least two out of five of us – Mother Hen and yours truly) this weekend that just keeps playing out in my mind. Being from South Jersey it’s really easy to get back to nature in the woods and to get lost from the sights and sounds of a more heavily trafficked area such as where we were caching on Sunday, the first day of April. Mother Hen handles the lion’s share of our posts – wherever they may happen to appear; Big Green, SJG, SEPAG, NNJC – usually Mother Hen. Not for this one – no, not this time.

“Why is that?” you may ask; and that would be a fine question by the way. You North Jersey cachers are an astute lot; I love you guys so I’ll tell you. Before showing up at the “Pant’s on Fire” event at Ruby Tuesdays we happened to do a spot of caching. For the life of me I can’t remember what the name of the cache is (you’d have to ask MH) but it was a snatch and grab off of the parkway about ten or so miles before the Lincoln Tunnel. We pulled over at the suggested parking coordinates, I donned my cache bag and MH her hat (just in case of rain. It was a little overcast) and down the trail we went. Now if you’ll recall gentle reader, we are from the Swamps of South Jersey and not used to too much metropolitan caching. We were down the trail – oh, I’d say about a tenth of a mile and we could still hum of the tires of the vehicles on the parkway. No big - hey this is North East Jersey; it’s to be expected. Anyway, we’re walking along, MH with our trusty Garmin in hand and I ambling along next to her when we come over this hill and, to our surprise, there’s these two hikers one male and one female both wearing Tilley Hats, high end hiking boots and NOTHING ELSE. Gentle reader, when I say “NOTHING ELSE” I mean it in the truest and most accurate sense of the words. Nothing else.

“Whoa!” I said. With the utmost in tact and decorum, I might add. Mother Hen’s eyebrows raised as her jaw dropped.

“Hey, how’s it goin’?” Naked Guy asked.

“Pretty good…” I said. “…Say, I couldn’t help but notice the two of you are buck naked – is everything ok?”

The Naked Gal started to giggle and stepped forward. “Why I knew that there was something we forgot to pack.” This made Naked Guy chuckle. Mother Hen and I took a quick look at each other – just to make sure that we were on the same page. We were.

“XXXX and I” (note Gentle Reader, due to decorum I will not be naming names as to who the two hikers were – sorry) are on our daily Natural Hike.” Naked Guy nodded his head in agreement.

“Don’t you mean Nature Hike?” Mother Hen asked.

“No. Natural Hike.” Naked guy said. No sooner had these words escaped his mouth he began stretching as if he were warming up for the Boston Marathon.

“You see, a Natural Hike is where we free ourselves from the confines of unnatural materials and become one with nature.” Naked Gal said.

“Yeah.” Naked Guy responded looking up from touching his toes.

“It is so freeing…” Naked Gal said as she began her stretching exercises.

“I can see that.” I said. All of the sudden I felt this stinging on my bald spot. I heard the SMACK! a moment later. Mother Hen was not appreciating the benefits of stretching before one exercises.

“So what about thorns?” Mother Hen asked.

“What about them?” Naked Guy said standing from his hamstring stretch.

“Don’t they hit… sensitive areas?”

“It is always important to tread lightly whether you have clothes on or not.” Naked Gal said looking up from her toe touches.

“Yeah… I see what you mean…” I said.

SMACK!

So there you have it. We exchanged web addresses (it’s amazing what those Tilley Hats can hold), said our good byes and watched them hike past us on their way to parts unknown. Yet another wonderful adventure that Geocaching has brought into our lives. You just don’t know when you’re going to meet a kindred spirit out there on the trails. As it turns out the four of us are meeting in the same park next weekend for a four-mile Natural Hike.

Does anyone know what the extended forecast is for next Saturday? I sure hope it’s not gonna be too cold.

The Snake Plissken Memorial Playground Project

I love Ain’t It Cool News. Harry & Co. are a lot of fun to read and to get my daily geek injection. Now, I know that it is remarkably close to April Fools Day, but this story has an odd sense of truth to it.

Here’s the original story from AICN: http://www.aintitcool.com/node/32089

Here’s the site for the “Snake Plissken Memorial Playground Project”: http://www.snakeplisskenmemorialplayground.com/

AND here’s the My Space site: http://www.myspace.com/spmp

It sounds weird enough to be true.

In other Plissken news; Gerard Butler (King Leonidas from 300) has signed on for the “Escape from New York” remake. While I’m sure Butler will do a great job, the movie will be a hoot and make a wheelbarrow full of cash, I have always hoped that Kurt Russell would be back as Snake for at least one more film. Also words like “remake” or “re-imagining” almost always send ice water down my spine. Still… with this property, which is near and dear to my beating geek heart, I will be there opening night – no doubt.

See you at the playground!

But Does It Float?

Unique homes are all over the place. I happen to have a thing for water; playing in it, being near it, yadda yadda… I suppose that it’s only natural that the majority of the following homes have something to do with water. I’ve always thought that living on board a boat; sail, barge or other would be a freeing experience. Let’s face it; if things got too hot in one port of call all one would have to do is quietly slip out of the harbor only taking fond memories with you. Nice. Don’t like the neighbors? Sail away. The view is too boring? Change it – the world is truly your picture window.

As a Parrothead I knew that the “Cosmic Muffin” existed in the world somewhere. The famed rocket ship that Desdemona piloted around the Caribbean in search of “Joe Merchant”. Well… Behold. The stories are true: http://unusuallife.com/2007/03/18/desdemonas-rocket-ship-the-cosmic-muffin/. Be the first on your block to live in a ex-plane boat.

Stiltsville Miami in the middle of Biscane Bay. The homes are now part of the National Parks Service but lest there be no doubt, that was pretty cool. Check it: http://www.stiltsville.org/pages/history.html

Not too shabby. A small island in the Keys for only 1.2 million! Rancho Del Evil Chicken? (See it here: http://fkren.com/residential.cfm?houseid=1475)

Frank Lloyd Wright designed this little fixer-upper entitled, “Falling Water”. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fallingwater It’s a museum these days but it was once a private residence.

Of course the Dutch Barge is always an option. These are huge in Europe; I’d love to give one a spin for a year or so. http://www.barging.co.uk/index.htm

Alas, once more gentle reader; if wishes were horses then beggars would ride. Pretty neat ideas though…

“Pirates of the Caribbean – At World’s End” Trailer is Live!

Aye Lads & Lasses, have ye seen this?

http://playlist.yahoo.com/makeplaylist.dll?id=1564047&sdm=web&qtw=480&qth=300

Well, feast yer eyes.

I can’t wait for this movie. I’m having geek spasms. I’ll be away at GeoWoodstock in North Carolina but I’ll be seeking out a theater via Fandango…

Aye, mark me words lads and lasses. Mark me words.

More Than a Feeling

Gentle reader; please allow me to take you back to the summer of 1977. I spent the majority of this summer camping at “The Old Stagecoach Campground”. Yes – I will admit to enjoying to this experience. We slept in a tent and an ancient pop up camper (circa world war I). We had electricity and water on site. Not too shabby. My dad even set up a refrigerator under our rain fly, yep – very fancy. I remember riding my banana seated Schwinn through clouds of DDT, which was dispersed via a “fog machine”, pulled by a tractor around the campground. The theory was that the fog would kill the mosquitoes. I can neither confirm nor deny that any of the blasted blood suckers were killed or not but I can say that DDT tastes pretty bad.

I absolutely loved my existence there at the campground; swimming, crabbing, playing pinball & pool, buying & reading comic books and listening to the jukebox in the game room. Good times. Rod Stewart’s “If You Think I’m Sexy” {as if I had any idea what the song was about at the time}, K.C. & the Sunshine Band’s, “ That’s the Way (I Like It), Stevie Wonder’s “Sir Duke”, George Harrison’s, “Blow Away”, Boz Scaggs, “Ledo Shuffle” and Boston’s “More Than a Feeling” were songs, that for one reason or another, spoke to me. I hope that makes sense – it’s true… they spoke to me. Those tunes are imprinted onto my organic MP3 player. It’s history – both the bands who recorded them and mine.

I especially love the band, Boston. There’s just this righteous, justified, power chord quality to their music. Tom Scholz is primarily responsible for the sound but it never would have happened if not for Brad Delp, the lead singer for the band. This being said, Mr. Brad Delp, passed away on March 9, ’07. He was only 55 years old. He was a part of my development – my growth. Bottom line. My thoughts and prayers go out to his family and friends.

Thank you for the music.

"300"

Go see it. Mother Hen & I caught it on Friday and it is worth the price of admission.

…Unlike “Ghostrider” which you can wait for cable to see.

Boldly Going Again

Star Trek 11 is an official go. Click this for the Full Monty… http://www.startrek.com/startrek/view/news/article/45415.html?page=1 . Needless to say Christmas Day of 2008, after opening the presents and digesting the turkey I believe a trip to the local multiplex may be in order.

Abrams said, “If there's something I'm dying to see, it's the brilliance and optimism of Roddenberry's world brought back to the big screen. Alex and Bob wrote an amazing script that embraces and respects Trek canon, but charts its own course. Our goal is to make a picture for everyone — life-long fans and the uninitiated. Needless to say, I am honored and excited to be part of this next chapter of Star Trek.”

Amen. That is what has been missing from Trek for the last ten years.

WARNING: before you read this blog entry any further; 1.) You will need to understand and care about the basics. Trek 101 is a prerequisite. 2.) There are spoilers here lads and lasses. Ye’ve been warned.

Still here, gentle reader?

While any new Star Trek will always catch my weary geek eyes; there hasn’t been a decent Star Trek movie since “Star Trek – First Contact” (Star Trek VIII, 1996) and J.J. Abrams will be fighting an uphill battle to win back ground that has been lost. Abrams has a story and a direction that will “embraces and respects Trek cannon.” As well it should. When one creates a universe one is also bound to the history that exists there. To muck about is sloppy storytelling. When I first heard about a young Kirk and Spock at Starfleet Academy I was skeptical but it sounds like Abrams is going about it the right way. Trek 11 is a go.

What about Trek 12? Abrams has not called me concerning what direction the Trek after this one, Star Trek 12, will take. When he does here is what I’m going to tell him. The Next Generation deserves a big screen send off. You cannot leave such a well-written & realized property to languish as they have been. “Star Trek Nemesis” (Trek 10) ran afoul with both old and new audiences. The franchise, the actors and the fans deserve better. In “Evil Chicken’s Trek 12”, “Q” will return. John De Lancie will reprise his role; in fact all of the regulars would. This will include Brent Spiner whose character, Data, died in the last movie and Wil Wheaton whose cameo was cut out of the last flick. Not to boor you gentle reader (although since you have read thus far I can only assume you read and agreed to the WARNING that was posted), but here’s my quick outline for bringing Star Trek back to the masses.

An aged and all too human Data begins appearing at places where the ex-executive staff of the starship Enterprise – D (& E for that matter), has set up shop. The Klingon High Counsel for Ambassador Worf, Earth for Geordie (who has gone into the field of Positronic research by the way), the Enterprise – E since in my movie Riker is the Captain and Troi is still his wife & Ships Counselor and to Duridian II, where we find Beverly Crusher and Jean-Luc Picard. The two have been married for quite some time but Jean-Luc is suffering from the effects of his Irumodic syndrome and his life is coming to an end. Why Duridian II? I like the sound of the name. Any way, Data who is now resurrected and human is the harbinger of Q. Data, for some reason, has to give his life to revive Picard. Why? Well, you see, the Q Continuum is about to crush in upon itself and only the crew helmed by Picard can save the day. Picard and company rush to the aid of Q and save the day but in doing so everything returns to how it was at the beginning of the movie. With Picard’s Irumodic Syndrome he is practically a vegetable and under constant care, waiting for the mercy of death. Q offers him another chance to boldly go where no one has gone before – he offers him membership in the Continuum. He accepts and Picard becomes “P” – the latest and destined to be one of the greatest omnipotent beings the universe has to offer. “The Human adventure is just beginning”, would be the tagline – again.

Yeah, good times, good times…

So Mr. Abrams, let me know what you think. Trek 12 is only a few years off – you know it will happen, so if you want to make some magic together just let me know. Please make checks payable to Evil Chicken, Swamps of South Jersey.

Thanks.

Campark & the Mega Millions

Two winning parties will split $390,000,000 – one in Georgia and one in New Jersey. I’m not one of those parties. But one of my old haunts is where the winning NJ ticket was sold; Campark Liquors in Woodbine NJ. Campark has been everything from a convenience store to a sandwich shop but it has always sold lottery tickets. I’ve bought many from them over the years while participating in office pools and such. As I write this blog the winner has not yet come forward which makes a lot of sense. If blessed with such a fortune it would behoove the winner to secure a lawyer and an accountant before sealing the deal, so to speak.

Any way, due to the local proximity in relation to where the ticket was purchased and the fact that a major employer in the area happens to be down the street from Campark, there is a fair to midline chance that I may know the winner – not in a “Hey Evil Chicken let me pay off your mortgage” sort of fashion but in a “Hey, I know that guy / gal!” The workers at Campark are all over the local network affiliates and I’ve seen or know the lot of them. Nice people. The owner of Campark gets a $10,000 check for selling the winning ticket. It turns out that he is going to split the amount between his employees, which is a classy thing to do, by the way.

I wish the winner the best but I do hope that the pot goes to someone who deserves it, needs it and can use it to better more people’s existences than just their own.

You know, I’ve spoken a lot of the lottery most recently (see 2/25/07 entry); take heart gentle reader, I’ll change the topic soon – I promise.

Rainforest Café – Atlantic City

Gentle reader. I didn’t start writing this blog to do what I’m about to do right now… Please forgive me.

Chick 2.0 celebrated a birthday yesterday so after a trip to the zoo we ended up at the “Rainforest Café” in Atlantic City – pretty cool, no? You bet. It’s on the boardwalk and part of the “Trump Plaza” property. Hey we were down in Orlando and had a blast at that one and those “Volcano” cakes are pretty cool – no doubt. Why not take Chick 2.0 and her siblings to mark the day?

For those of you who don’t know, the “Rainforest Café” is a theme restaurant that looks like a jungle. Every 15 minutes or so the jungle comes to life. Animatronic gorillas, elephants, giant butterflies and Mayan gods get into the act. Rain falls and mist rises. Pretty neat. The food is corporate which is to be expected. The AC version of this restaurant is smaller than the one in Orlando FL. The staff is different too. In Orlando they are used to dealing with families on vacation while in AC they are used to dealing with people who have just lost a lot of money at the casinos – usually sans children. Don’t get me wrong – the service was good; I only refer to the overall sense of welcome. Orlando had it, AC doesn’t.

“But why, Evil Chicken, are you upset?” It wasn’t just the service thing. Call me crazy but if I’m spending a hundred bucks on dinner I want to be whistling gleefully at the end of the night. No, gentle reader, that’s not the complete reason that I’m miffed. You see 3 out of 5 members of our family (including the birthday girl) had immediate diarrhea – repeatedly. 1 member was throwing up too.

Yeah, good times.

So, the next time that you’re planning a special night out, it would be my humble recommendation to skip the AC “Rainforest Café” all together and wait until you can go to Orlando. There are other local places to blow a hundred bucks. If you cannot wait, at the very least let the Board of Health complete an inspection first.

See you at McDonald’s.

The 79th Academy Awards – The Day After

I can only take the actual Academy Awards broadcast so much before my skin starts to crawl. It’s not because of the filmmakers – it’s because of all of the trappings that go with the wacky cult of personality. I don’t care what’s in the gift bags of the presenters or whatever Wolfgang Puck is cooking. It’s not core. The full frontal massaging of massive egos wears on my nerves. I care nothing for the ‘red carpet’, fashion or dance numbers. No, all I really care about when it comes the Academy Awards is movies. I care for the storytellers. Theoretically, the AA is voted on by industry people for industry people i.e. peer recognition. I don’t mean to sound completely like whiz and vinegar, it is the Academy Awards and theoretically the 900 lb. Gorilla of the industry; the industry of making movies; of telling stories. I happen to love the movies and have more than a passing interest in who wins. What can I say; I’m a movie geek.

Back on 2/10/07, I made my predictions right here @ Chicken Scratch. Were my picks close? I’ll list the category, who won and my pick. So without further ado here’s the battle Oscar VS. Evil Chicken!

Performance by an actor in a leading role: Who won? – Forrest Whitaker. Who I picked – Peter O’Toole. I thought they’d give it to him since he’s been nominated 8 times and has never taken Oscar home.

Performance by an actor in a supporting role: Who won? – Alan Arkin. Who I picked – Alan Arkin. I got one!

Performance by an actress in a leading role: Who won? – Helen Mirren. Who I picked – Meryl Streep. Oscar’s beating me two to one…

Performance by an actress in a supporting role: Who won? – Jennifer Hudson. Who did I pick? – Jennifer Hudson. She seems like a pretty cool lady ta boot. We’re tied once more Oscar… Come get some.

Best documentatry feature: Who won? – “An Inconvenient Truth”. Who’d I pick? – “An Inconvenient Truth”. EC pulls ahead of Oscar! By the way – the actor that played Al Gore was spot on.

Adapted screenplay: Who won? – “The Departed”. Who did I pick? – “Borat – Cultural learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhastan”. It seems we are tied once more.

Original screenplay: Who won? – “Little Miss Sunshine”. Who’d I pick? – “Letters from Iwa Jima”. Tiebreaker – Oscar takes the lead.

Achievement in directing: Who won? – Martin Scorsese for “The Departed”. Who’d I pick – Clint Eastwood for “Letters From Iwo Jima”. Oscar brings the smack. EC done went and backed the wrong movie icon. Still, how cool was it that Marty finally has one? This guy is a national treasure just like Eastwood.

Best motion picture of the year: Who got it? – “The Departed”. Who’d I say would win? – “Letters From Iwo Jima”. And there we have it; I was soundly trounced by Oscar by a score of 6 to 3. Oscar wins.

I won’t go into the finer details of who won what for the myriad of other categories but I will say I was pretty close with a lot of my picks. I was pleased when “Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest” won for best visual effects and glad that “Pan’s Labyrinth” took home 3 Academy Awards. Yes Oscar beat me this time but I’ll be back again next year. Oh and Oscar… here’s an inconvenient truth for you; “Dreamgirls” should have won for best song.

See you at the multiplex.

The Lottery

You know what? I’m tired of not hitting the lottery. I’ve been trying for years but alas… no luck. Believe me it’s not for lack of trying. The lottery has taken more out of me than I have taken out of it – thus far. Oh I’ve had the occasional scratch off hit but the big one has alluded me. In 1670, John Ray wrote, “If wishes were horses then beggars would ride.” Oh so true. Still, despite overwhelming odds I play when the numbers are high enough. It is important to have a plan for any contingency be it terrorist attack or if the lights go out. Well, here’s my tentative plan for what happens after I, Evil Chicken, happen to hit the lottery.

I’m going cash option. Don’t even tempt me with a 20, 25 or 30-year payout. The only thing that is guaranteed in this life besides death and taxes is change and right NOW. I can do some good in the NOW with the resources that a major lottery win could provide. It’s the future that is sketchy and anything is possible. On the way to cash the check I could be struck by a meteorite or a bus making hitting the lottery pretty much a moot point. Thanks, I’ll take the cash.

I wouldn’t want anyone to know I hit. This is hard. Just for fun let’s say the pot was 200 million (hey if you’re gonna dream why not make it big). So that makes a net of about 100 million dollars. Not too shabby. Still the last thing you want, I would imagine, is anyone finding out. This would force you to change your lifestyle on other’s terms instead of your own. This is why Clark Kent and Peter Parker have secret identities. While they are Kent and Parker – no problem, they blend in; when they fly or start to climb on walls, they don’t blend in so much. Note: this is probably impossible but it would be nice to remain as anonymous.

Taxes. I figure that the Feds and the state will automatically take half of the pot in taxes alone. So whatever the pot may be I divide it in half from Jump Street. Bank on it. Now comes the make or break time. There are many lottery winners who have lost everything due to pride, poor decisions or a mixture of the two.

It’s good to have a plan… no?

Automatically, from the top, the first 10% is going to my church. I also figure that I will have to enlist a lawyer and an accountant since I do not trust myself with such a sum of money. Oh I have ideas on what to do but solid know-how? I’m not the one. There are goals such as being out of debt, having the kids weddings and college funds paid off, as well as, investing (which is nebulous as all get out to yours truly). Hey, that’s what the accountant is for. Under investments there is a movie that I would like to produce, as well as, a film company that I would like to help along the way.

Now then, let’s talk pure, unadulterated selfishness. This is where ‘I wish’ goes to ‘I want.’ Mother Hen and I have always wanted a log home on some acreage with a body of water close by, you know – for kayaking, canoeing and fishing. I want to be able to flip hamburgers on the grill in my underwear and get that full body tan I’ve always wanted so immediate neighbors are not an option. I want the kids to have a bunkroom where they can sleep and play. I would love a huge laundry room – a place where I would never have to worry about throwing clean clothes on the dinning room table to wait to be separated and taken to their respective dressers. Oh yes. The Evil Chicken laundry room would be a wonderful step forward in clothes cleaning technology. There would be a table where I could separate and personalized shelves where I could throw their clothes…

“I don’t have any pants.”

“Check your shelf – I KNOW I just washed some.”

Oh yeah, good times…

The Laundry Room would have a door that could open and close. Amazing. This concept just gives me chills. People could come to our home and not have to see the laundry that I have not put away.

Creepy.

The kitchen would have a working dishwasher. Oh yes, it would. There would be a pantry next to the Laundry Room with a working door too. No fuss, no muss, no dishes in the sink that still have to be cleaned.

Oh yeah. Look (I’m pointing at my arm); I’ve got chills just thinking about it.

You may say, “But Evil Chicken, you’ve just won the lottery, why don’t you hire a maid, cook or personal assistant?” Say… that’s a good question. My answer is “No thanks.” My reasons are twofold. First as Bob Dylan sang, “Did you ever turn around to see the frowns on the jugglers and clowns when they all did tricks for you?” I don’t want anyone in a subservient position in my own home. It’s creepy. Secondly I don’t want to give anyone the ammunition for the eventual tell all book about that “Sick and twisted Evil Chicken.” Gentle reader I will be the one to write that book; thank you very much. Don’t worry – it’ll be coming soon.

But enough about Rancho Del Evil Chicken. Let me tell you about what happens while it’s being built. The EC-5 is going on the road. Yup. We are touring the lower 48 states in an RV while towing a four door Jeep Wrangler; a mothership and shuttlecraft. Don’t worry I’ll write about each adventure. We’ll need to abandon the Mothership to fly over to Hawaii and back but after that it up through British Columbia and on to Alaska. We’ll geocache the whole way. After a good long while in Alaska we’ll tour Canada; push our way east and take the Cat Hydrofoil from Nova Scotia to Bar Harbor Maine. Grab a sunrise from the top of Cadillac Mountain and half dozen lobsters or so and we’re on our way back home. I’ll collect the adventures in a book, watch the kids grow and continue to post our adventures on SJG (South Jersey Geocaching), the Big Green (geocaching.com) and, right here my Chicken Scratch blog. We’ll print tee shirts, “EC-5 American Tour – 2007.”

“What if the log cabin isn’t finished yet?” you ask. Another fine question I might add. Well then it’ll be time for the “EC-5 European Tour – 2008.” We’ll check off the cities that I’ve got listed to the right in “Top 10 Cities Evil Chicken Wants to Visit” – European edition…

Mmmm… Smell the greed. I do. It is important to realize that things are just that – things i.e. material goods or worldly possessions. The BMW that you buy with your lottery winnings is gonna rust and the jewelry? All of it will all tarnish. The electronics and plastic creations will become obsolete and lose their luster. J.K. Rowling’s Albus Dumbledore find Harry Potter staring into “The Mirror of Erised.” This mirror allows the viewer to see their deepest dreams and desires realized – at least in the mirror’s reflection. Dumbledore wisely tells Harry that, “It does not do to dwell on dreams, Harry, and forget to live.” That’s good advice. Earthly treasure is all well and good but you really can’t take it with you. Forgive me gentle reader; I’ve dwelled too long on dreams.

Perhaps it would be best to give the bulk of it away. I mean, do I really need that much money? No. Do I know of situations, families, churches and organizations that could use it? Yes. K.I.S.S. – Keep It Simple Stupid. It would be wonderful to anonymously make a difference with the blessing of a lottery win by supporting missionaries, local soup kitchens, charities, pay off some mortgages and meet, at least to some degree, the needs of others who really need it.

I’m dreaming once again… Alas, “If wishes were horses then beggars would ride”.

Films That are Worth a Second Look – Part II

“The Matrix Revolutions” (2003) – I could get grief for adding this to my list of films to revisit. I balked a long time with this film. I didn’t want to see it – “The Matrix Reloaded” (Matrix II) left a nasty aftertaste in my mouth to the point that I didn’t care what happened in part III. Sure, “The Matrix” (part I) was awesome – wonderful to behold but mass rave/dance scenes a non-delivery on forwarding the mythology that the first film set up nixed “Reloaded” for me. Well, I recently saw “Revolutions” and I’d like to apologize to Andy and Larry Wachowski. “Revolutions” was a drastic improvement over part II and most certainly worth a second look. The war against the machines with the battle for the Dock was worth it alone – the rental that is.

“V for Vendetta” (2005) – This is another Wachowski Brothers film and with this one I never balked at seeing it. This is based on Alan Moore’s graphic novel of the same name. Moore is a dark genius whose stories will go down as some of the finest graphic works of the twentieth and twenty-first centuries. He has had the unfortunate circumstance of watching his work come to the big screen incorrectly – this has happened repeatedly and with absolutely horrible consequences (wait for cable to see “League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.” Don’t rent it – wait for cable - On second thought, miss it on cable too). It was an abomination of an adaptation of a really great story (do go immediately to Barnes & Noble, Borders or you local comic book shop and pick up a copy of the graphic novel – you won’t be disappointed). Being burned in the past, Moore had his name removed form “V” sighting that the filmmakers were going to be espousing a liberal philosophy when his story focused on personal freedoms. The ironic thing is that this film is pretty close to the spirit of Moore’s vision. “V for Vendetta” works on so many levels. It’ s a wonderfully realized film that will make you contemplate the Gunpowder Treason plot (see EC’s 11/5/06 blog – and the movie).

“Little Miss Sunshine” (2006) – If you haven’t seen this film, please do yourself a favor and pick up a copy as soon as possible. What a great little picture. It deserves any Oscars that come its way. Great cast, great script, great direction – great film. It’s a dysfunctional family road trip. There are no throw away characters here; each is dynamic – each learns something vital along the way and so may we. When their dysfunction becomes function you will cheer. I know I did.

“Finding Neverland” (2004) – What an amazing film – the creative process personified. Johnny Depp is J.M. Barrie the man who wrote “Peter Pan” and the story revolves his muse – the Davies family. Kate Winslet plays the widowed mother of the Davies clan and Freddie Highmore plays one of her children, Peter. Radha Mitchell is Barrie’s wife who does not understand him – his amazement of what could be; the possibility of the unwritten page or the wonders of being swept away by the telling of the tale. Birth is not easy. This is how “Peter Pan” was birthed. If you missed it in the theaters or bypassed it at your local Blockbuster back up a couple of isles and rent it immediately. I promise you will not be disappointed.

“Ed Wood” (1994) – This is a Tim Burton film where Johnny Depp plays the infamous Ed Wood Jr. the man who made the “worst movie ever made”, “Plan 9 From Outer Space”. I love Ed Wood, angora and all. He was a testament to sticking to ones own dreams. In the film the Character, Orson Wells tells Ed Wood during a chance meeting, “Visions are worth fighting for. Why spend your life making someone else's dreams?” It is advice that Ed takes to heart. He writes, shoots, edits and distributes on the fly finding backers wherever he can and all the while he continues to do what he loves – making movies. He is a loyal man as well. He befriends the tragic Bela Lugosi (played masterfully by Martin Landau) who is now addicted to morphine and at the end of his film career. If you haven’t seen it do so. As the character Criswell says, “Can your heart stand the shocking facts of the true story of Edward D. Wood Jr.?” You should chance it.

Molon Labe

As I type this little blog on my laptop in Evil Chicken’s Fortress of Solitude, I’m given pause to look around. In front of me are postcards and pictures that adorn the wall; reminders of past adventures in Maine and California and New Orleans. There’s a small framed picture of Mark Twain and quotes from some of my favorite writers. I’ve got a small shelf that’s filled with various nautical pieces most of which deal with piracy in one form or another. Above that is a chart of the Delaware Bay. To my left is a wall of autographs; Peter Laird (co-creator of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles), Mark Moran and Mark Sceurman (creators of Weird NJ), Johanna Cameron (seventies Saturday morning TV staple, Isis) and an issue number 1 of "300" signed by Frank Miller (writer and storyteller). Each one of these hangs on this wall for a reason – I won’t bore you with these reasons save to say that each is there for a purpose. The one that I’d like to discuss with you now, gentle reader is the latter – issue number 1 of “300”.

Frank Miller is one of the greats. Who’s Frank Miller? Why he’s a legend in the field of comics and graphic fiction. If this upsets you in some fashion and if you feel that there is nothing literary that can come from the pages of a comic book then please, do us both a favor and find another blog to read. As Sigmund Freud said to his nephew who told him that he shouldn’t smoke cigars (please forgive my paraphrasing), “Since you have no idea of what you are missing – I can only pity you.”

Still here? Good.

Miller injected high drama into the plotlines of Daredevil – the likes of which had never before been seen in a mainstream comic. He had a hand in retelling a tale of the Wolverine where he learns the way of the Samurai in Japan. He knocked the entire industry on its ear when he wrote “The Dark Knight Returns” (which is still one of the finest examples of graphic novel ever put to paper) “Sin City” was hardcore, hardboiled noir. He created “Robocop” and then, while touring Greece he came across the true story of King Leonidas and his army of 300 souls and the battle of Thermopylae. “300” was born.

"300" is based on a true story. Really. The Spartans drew a line in the sand and made a stand. The Persians, who vastly outnumbered the Spartans, sent a message to Leonidas saying that the king of the Persians would spare their lives if they laid down their weapons and surrendered. Leonidas knew that doing so would give the Persians the upper hand in concurring all of Greece (which would have meant the end of the democracy). Leonidas said, “Molon Labe,” concerning the Spartan’s weapons or, “come and get them.” The Spartans fought to the last man standing, took a huge number of Persians with them and bought Greece the time needed to prepare for the onslaught of Xerxes and his army numbering in the hundreds of thousands. While the 300 perished democracy survived.

Ok, so why is it on my wall? Well, I happen to love Frank Miller and I believe that there are many many lessons that we can pull from King Leonidas and his guard of 300 Spartans. They stood their ground, of course they paid the price for doing so but it was a price each man was willing to pay. Their sacrifice and their courage in the face of such insurmountable odds; who can not recognize the heroism there – the valor? Make a stand make it count. Who can’t get behind such a tale – such an example? For these reasons, issue number 1 of “300” hangs on my wall as a reminder of one of my favorite writers, a nod to courage in the face of adversity and pure righteous indignation. Having the courage of ones own convictions. “300” reminds me that making a stand is not the easy path but that history is rarely written by events that came easy. The 300 refused subjugation, intimidation and slavery – they made their stand at the pass of Thermopylae.

At what pass will you make your stand? When they come asking for your surrender and ask you to lay down your arms (be it your sword, your pen or keyboard, your opinions or even your beliefs); tell them “Molon Labe.” Come and get them.

Make the stand.

Lust in The Heart of South Jersey

I want to talk to you, gentle reader, about an object that Evil Chicken desires; nay – LUSTS after. It’s something that would be put to excellent use for years to come in the Evil Chicken household. It would be a wonderful place to play the Nintendo Wii and the X-box 360 (that we don’t own yet) as well as, the Blue Ray or HD/DVD (that we don’t own either). Gentle reader I lust after a Sony LCD, 1080p (1920x1080), HD TV. I’ll take any size as long as it starts at 46 inches on up.

Oh yeah, livin’ large.

Why Sony? They have an excellent track record when it comes to televisions. The Trintatron was an amazing step forward – I have a sneaking suspicion that a Sony BRAVIA or a Grand WEGA would be too.

Why LCD? No reflection to throw off the picture, which, by the way, is 6 times sharper than a regular set. Does that sound like much of a difference? Go see for yourself side by side – the LCD is more real than real. Jaw dropping vivid color and detail that is simply startling.

1080p – What’s that? Dear friends, that is the magic number when it comes to HDTV. Wikipedia (my favorite second brain) says the following, “1080p is the shorthand name for a category of video modes. The number 1080 represents 1,080 lines of vertical resolution, while the letter p stands for progressive scan or non-interlaced. 1080p is considered an HDTV video mode. The term usually assumes a widescreen aspect ratio of 16:9, implying a horizontal (display) resolution of 1920 dots across and a frame resolution of 1920 × 1080 or about 2.07 million pixels. The frame rate in hertz can be either implied by the context or specified after the letter p (such as 1080p30, meaning 30 frames per second). 1080p is sometimes referred to in marketing materials as "True High-Definition" or "Full High-Definition". 1080p is currently the digital standard for filming digital motion pictures. The best technology commercially available is 1080p. Directors such as George Lucas (in Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith) shoot their digital films in this (1080p) high definition mode to be shown in theaters equipped with 1080p digital projectors.” Do not kid yourselves gentle readers 1080p is what you want – what you desire… Dare, I say lust after. I know I do.

So does anyone know what the winning lottery numbers were tonight?

What’s a Geek-Boy To Do?

Ahoy Lads and Lasses – There Be Spoilers Ahead…

“Ghostrider.” Hmmm. Let me just say that I really wanted to love “Ghostrider.” I remember buying the first issue way back in the seventies and loved it. I kept on reading and found that I began to really love the tragic – deal with the devil – figure that Johnny Blaze represented. High drama? Yeah, and it should be. I cared about what happened to Johnny Blaze because he had heart and soul, albeit a bought one. He was still trying to do the best he could with a bad situation – hoping beyond hope that he was on the road to redemption. The movie reflects a lot of this, which is ultimately a reflection of the heart of the comic.

Did I love it? No. I didn’t hate it and there are parts that are down right likeable but I didn’t love this movie. Believe me I wanted to but there are one too many lines of dialogue that made me cringe; there are too many actors just walking through their roles and too many characters that are just underdeveloped.

Perhaps I’m being too harsh – after all this is a movie about a flaming skeleton on a motorcycle. I should lighten up. There is stuff to like about “Ghostrider”, Sam Shepard, Peter Fonda, Nicholas Cage (at some points) and the straining buttons on Eva Mendez’s blouse all give wonderful performances. The special effects are top notch and I dug the voice of the Ghostrider. It’s the small things that tripped me up like having Johnny being stabbed in the shoulder while in the Ghostrider state and having to be sowed up by Sam Shepard when he’s in human form. If you establish that as the rule in this world that you’ve created then so be it; unfortunately about 15 minutes later the Ghostrider gets shot up by the whole police force and when he regains human form Johnny is not Swiss cheese – you have already established that he will be wounded and it never happens. 5 minutes after he is sowed up Johnny should have a pretty good scar on his shoulder. This is not the case, we see, as he tries to bring on the Ghostrider state in front of a mirror with no shirt on. Hey – no scar. Johnny learns how to control his “inner element” pretty easy too. Yes – I get it, there is supposed to be a camp element evoked with the story but some of the dialogue is horrendous. I felt embarrassed for Cage, having to deliver some of those lines.

You know, I’m being too harsh again. Did I mention the great effects? You know another thing that didn’t do it for me? Trench coats, sneers and young punk attitudes on the bad guys – come on, these are supposed to be fallen angels who have existed for untold millennia and what do we get? – Trench coats and punks with sneers? Uoof-Fah. “Blackheart” the devil’s son is leading them; who happens to be a whiney little git with a trench coat and a sneer.

Did I mention the special effects were great? How about the buttons on Eva Mendez’s blouse?

This movie will make barrels of money and is a decent popcorn flick and harbinger of things to come. The multiplexes will be full this summer as opposed to last. I only hope that the caliber of the movie making gets a little higher.

Oh well, BRING ON 300!

Den of Antiquity

We, the EC-5, just got back from the Franklin Institute in Philadelphia; we celebrated Mother Hen’s birthday (29) by taking everyone to the “Tutankhamun and the Golden Age of the Pharaohs” exhibit. “The exhibition includes approximately 130 objects from the tomb of King Tut and other valley of the King Ancestors.” The majority of the artifacts have never been on American soil. If you enjoy seeing antiquities from a long gone age and shining moment in history then go. Know also that you will pay $27.50 a head (adult) and $17.50 per child (ages 4-11). Know that Tutankhamun’s death mask is not part of the exhibition since “The death mask is not allowed to leave Egypt and therefore is not included in the exhibition.” And know that you will not be allowed to use your camera – photography is strictly prohibited. You can buy all of the pictures you want from the gift shop, which is conveniently located at the end of the exhibition.

Yeah.

It took us roughly an hour and a half to tour through the artifacts. We went at the 2:30 PM, cattle call and, at the end of the day I believe that it was worth it. The kids (the three chicks) absolutely love this period of history. Chick 2.0 was telling me how many jars were usually used in the mummification process and that was well before we were unleashed on the antiquities. Actually seeing some of these items up close and personal gave me a new respect for Egypt’s golden age. The detail in the gold inlays and the hieroglyphs – simply amazing; that and I’ve never seen a solid gold ceremonial dagger before. BTW it was a dagger that was buried with Tut himself. Amazing.

Thanks to the Birthday Girl, Mother Hen, for sharing her 29th birthday with us in such a fashion. I love you Lady. Like you said, “for my birthday I want to make some memories with my family.”

Mission accomplished.

Geocaching

It occurs to me that I have never really taken the time to share a love of mine. Please forgive me, I did not mean to keep it to myself for so long. Geocaching is as the homepage explains it; “… an entertaining adventure game for gps users. Participating in a cache hunt is a good way to take advantage of the wonderful features and capability of a gps unit. The basic idea is to have individuals and organizations set up caches all over the world and share the locations of these caches on the internet. GPS users can then use the location coordinates to find the caches. Once found, a cache may provide the visitor with a wide variety of rewards. All the visitor is asked to do is if they get something they should try to leave something for the cache.”

Think of it as a high tech treasure hunt that takes you places that you would never have otherwise seen or would have known existed. Pretty cool – no? Well yes – of course it’s cool. I have a hard time recollecting the names of all of the ghost towns and forgotten historical places that we, the Evil Chicken 5 (EC-5) have been. It’s a wonderful family activity and as a tee shirt that I once read said, “I use multi-million dollar equipment to find Tupperware in the woods – what do you do for a hobby?”

I’ve been asked, “What do you win?” Ladies and gentlemen let me just say that with geocaching as with life, it is the journey and not the destination. You win the experience of learning about a location, the exercise of a good hike and the breath of clean fresh air thorough your lungs – well that and you get to sign the log book. We (the EC-5) have been blessed along the path to meet several amazing like-minded individuals; modern day explorers and adventurers – no kidding. I know people who have cached in dozens of countries and each found cache is a story unto itself. I know people who have encountered machine gun toting Federales at the base of a Aztec pyramid, had alligator & snake encounters as well as the occasional run in with drug dealers and, of course, muggles (non-caching folk). It’s not as dangerous as it sounds but as with anything, it’s best to use your common sense before attempting anything be it crossing the street or retrieving a cache. If your “spider-sense” is tingling – you should probably listen. The game is in over 220 countries around the world so chances are wherever you go you will not be too far from a cache.

Don't believe me? Well see for yourself. Go to www.geocaching.com and type in your zip code. Don’t worry, I promise it’s not a cult. See how many caches are around you, read the hints, find the cords and off you go. Geocachers the world over usually have an endearing trait that is (for the most part) they are people who know the value of stopping to smell the roses, to appreciate the sunrise as well as the sunset and hit the ground running – after all there are more caches out there; just around the corner.

See you on the trails.

The 79th Academy Awards

While I believe that the Academy Awards has become a bloated, self-important ego festival that cares more for song, dance and fashion than film – it’s still the Academy Awards and technically the pinnacle of achievement in Hollywood. Yes it’s a warped place in the universe but it is built that way; housed in a plastic city that sells illusions – Los Angeles, Hollywood California. This being said, it is possible to guess who the Academy will favor based on how the political winds are blowing. Anyway, here’s Evil Chicken’s list for who should get the Oscar and who will get it.

Performance by an actor in a leading role: Who deserves it – Will Smith. Who will get it – Peter O’Toole. Why? He’s old Hollywood. The Academy loves that.

Performance by an actor in a supporting role: Who deserves it – Alan Arkin. Who will get it – Alan Arkin (with respect to Eddie Murphy). Why? Great actor, he’s due and he delivered an amazing performance in “Little Miss Sunshine”.

Performance by an actress in a leading role: Who deserves it – Kate Winslet. Who will get it – Meryl Streep. Why? Thinking like the academy thinks, it’s been a while since she got one.

Performance by an actress in a supporting role: Who deserves it – Abigail Breslin. Who will get it – Jennifer Hudson. Why? “Dreamgirls” is too cool a property to not give something to; as the academy thinks.

Best documentatry feature: Who deserves it – “Jesus Camp”. Who will get it – “An Inconvenient Truth”. Why? What’s more popular than global warming? To the Academy this was an important film – bank on it.

Adapted screenplay: Who deserves it – “Borat – Cultural learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhastan”. Who will get it – Borat; and justly so. Wa wa wee wa!

Original screenplay: Who deserves it – it’s a toss up for me. This is a tough one. “Little Miss Sunshine” or “Pan’s Labyrinth”. Both are amazing to behold. Who gets it – “Letters from Iwa Jima”. Why? Eastwood property.

Achievement in directing: Who deserves it – “United 93”. Who will get it – “Letters From Iwo Jima”. Why? This was a close one for me – it won’t be for the Academy. Clint Eastwood is a living legend and deserves the Oscar. “United 93”, however, takes you back to the exact moment of 9/11, and evokes the emotions that we have spent the last few years building scare tissue over.

Best motion picture of the year: Who deserves it – “Little Miss Sunshine”. Who will get it – “Letters From Iwo Jima”. Why? Eastwood.

Let us not forget the other categories that the Academy will bestow lauding upon… These are my guesses – what the Academy does who knows.

Best animated feature film of the year: “Cars”

Achievement in art direction: “Pan’s Labyrinth” or “Pirates of he Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest”.

Achievement in cinematography: “Pan’s Labyrinth”

Achievement in makeup: “Pan’s Labyrinth”

Best Score: “Dreamgirls”

Best Song: Either nominated song from “Dreamgirls”

Sound editing: “Pirates of he Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest”

Sound mixing: “Pirates of he Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest”

Achievement in visual effects: This is another split for me; it’s either “Pirates of he Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest” or “Superman Returns”.

We shall see what we shall see on 2/25/07.

Change is a Good Thing

Gentle reader, I have embraced the changes to Blogger. Things may look a little different around these parts and that’s not really a bad thing. It’s still the same old rants and raves but now in green.

I’m still playing around with things so forgive the dust – I’m remodeling.

Torture Porn

I know that there is a place for horror movies. There are several horror movies that are among my all time favorites. Watching such a flick becomes a vehicle for dealing with the all too real horrors that are marching in step with us 24/7/365. I get it.

This being said, I have a hard time getting into many of the ‘newest’ horror films that are produced today. There is a difference between horror and torture porn. Torture porn may a reflection of our times but if I wanted to really view it all I have to do is watch the 6 o-clock news, read an article online (or – gasp, in a newspaper), look toward the genocide & it’s aftermath from Rwanda or to Darfur or watch the latest listing of the body counts from the war in Iraq and there it is – live and local; horror, misery and despair. I didn’t even have to shell out $9.00 to see it at the multiplex. I understand the need for this ‘new’ style of horror films – aka – torture porn, but that doesn’t mean I’m gonna support it at the theaters, with DVD rentals or by wearing the merchandized tee shirt. You see the real thing is already horrific enough for me. I don’t feel the need to be entertained by the latest re-invention of a snuff film.

I don’t blame the storytellers, the problem, most assuredly, rests with yours truly. I need hope. Watching the hopeless just doesn’t do it for me. Art is a reflection of life and to me life is hope. Horror, misery and despair all bow to hope since without it they simply don’t exist. I know that the converse is true too but at the end of the day I’ll stack my eggs in hope’s basket. Corny? Too bad, that’s the way it is.

See you at the movies.

Bradbury Challenge – It’s On Now

“The Bradbury Challenge” is underway, (Please see 9/1/06 Blog Entry for the greater details). The long story short version is that I’m putting together a compilation of 52 + short stories for self-publication. Ray Bradbury made mention of challenging a writer to write 52 short stories in a row. He said that, “They can’t all be bad.” Well, I’m in the process of seeing if that’s so. It’s been an exciting prospect and I’ve been having a lot of fun doing it. The vast majority of the stories will be new ones but I’m also polishing some of my old stuff up and putting them out there too.

What can I say, it’s hard to let go of the past sometimes.

Who knows, once it’s done I just may send Mr. Bradbury a copy as a thank you for the unintentional suggestion to do it, the inspiration to keep writing and for his body of work. I’m not saying this as a threat towards Ray or with any other hidden agenda. He’s simply one of the greats and I’d like to say ‘thanks’, even if he never cracks the book. He’ll be 87 on August 22, 2007.

I’ll let you know, gentle reader, how this newest project progresses.

“NO RETURNS” Submission

I’m about to mail off a submission to Asimov’s Science Fiction. As my cover letter to Ms. Sheila Williams the publication’s Editor says, “NO RETURNS” (4,179 words). It’s a story about a man with a problem, a girl with her mind made up, an antique typewriter that predicts the future and the real explanation for why the QWERTY keyboard exists as it does today. It’s light, fun, fantasy that I wrote with my daughter in mind.” …My oldest daughter (who is 14) to be specific.

It takes about 5 weeks or so to hear back from Asimov’s Science Fiction. Gentle reader, I’ll let you know if I’m published or not as soon as I know myself. Hey rejection happens – it’s part of the game and, just as in life, you will miss 100% of the shots you never take.

Here’s to hope!

On The Lot

Here is “WAKE” (< Just click)

Gentle readers in the past I have alluded to a short film that I had the pleasure of taking part in. Well today it went live on the On The Lot website. My friend, Mr. Ron Diprimio wrote, edited and directed the short. I showed up and had a blast stumbling over my lines. We were joined on screen by friends and family; in fact one of my co-workers, God bless her, took a vacation day to be in the bar scene. She’s a trooper and a heck of a quarters player to boot. Don’t fret, all the booze was really apple juice – after all this will be aired in prime time on Fox. It will be premiering sometime in the spring of ’07.

So just what is On the Lot? Well, as it says on their web site it’s, “the groundbreaking new show brought to you by reality show mastermind, Mark Burnett, and legendary producer and director, Steven Spielberg. Over the season, the 16 filmmakers will produce short films in every genre every week and the viewers will vote on who gets eliminated. The winning filmmaker will take home a $1 Million development deal!” – So says the OTL site.

So check out the OTL web site and if you like the film let ‘em know. I, for one, would love to see Ron as one of the 16 and it would be fun to have a guy from Jersey in the competition.