Thursday, July 31, 2008

Mayhem at Montague Manor


Tonight I had the distinct pleasure of attending the opening night performance of Mayhem at Montague Manor or 'The Mystery of Lady Utopia's
Grail'
at the Calvary Chapel Playhouse in Vineland (located at 930 N. Main Rd. Vineland, NJ 08360). Check out: http://www.pwpstorytellers.com/melodrama2008.html for all the details.
Mayhem at Montague Manor is a play in three acts adeptly written and directed by Ms. Kathryn Ross and brought to life through an amazingly talented cast. These actors have trained long and hard for this production and it shows. There is a lot of love for what they are doing. The play is about three hours long with intermission and there is a "Just Desserts" dessert bar and coffee for all of your sugar and caffeine cravings - both free with paid admission.

…Try the red herring pudding.

The playbill brings you up to speed on the story thus far. "Long lost
Montague relations arrive to lay claim to the family fortune just hours
before the entire family estate is to be auctioned to the highest bidder!
They each come to take possession of the infamous Lady Utopia's Grail - the
greatest of all Montague treasures - though no one seems to know precisely
what this mysterious grail really is. It was hidden somewhere in Montague
Manor by the great Lady Utopia's herself in the hopes that a worthy heir to
the estate might seek it out someday. The new heirs are given a clue to its
whereabouts - but only the one who can solve the confounding riddles and
outwit a mysterious villain at large will win the prize. Who will be the
first to solve THE MYSTERY OF LADY UTOPIA'S GRAIL!?"

There you have it; now you are ready to boo the villains and cheer for the
heroes; which is exactly what Chicken Little and I did tonight. We had a
blast. What can I say, if you are in the area go check the Pageant Wagon
Players troop out - they are most certainly worth the detour in your
schedule. There are now three shows left; August 1 and 2nd at 7:00 PM and a
Saturday matinee at 1:30 PM. Tickets are $10.00 for Adults, $7.00 for
Senior citizens, and $5.00 for Kids under 12.

Ms. Ross and company have pulled off something special with Mayhem at Montague Manor. Great cast, great story, great night out; go see them while you can. They won't be back until next summer with, "The Villain Vaudevillian" (working title).

Wonderful stuff – I hope you enjoy them as much as we did.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Through the Looking Glass


“We’re all mad here… I’m mad, you’re mad.”

Ain’t It Cool News is reporting that Johnny Depp has signed on to play The Mad Hatter in Disney’s 3D, Tim Burton directed “Alice in Wonderland”. Check it: http://www.aintitcool.com/node/37702.

I’m grinning like a Cheshire Cat at this news. I love the pairing of Burton and Depp; the two make beautiful music together. I jumped over to the Internet Movie Data Base; which is manna from heaven for movie geeks (see: http://www.imdb.com/ and click around a while if you don’t believe me), and looked ‘em up. To date the pair have collaborated in some pretty wonderful cinema including; Edward Scissorhands, Ed Wood, Sleepy Hollow, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Corpse Bride, and Sweeny Todd: the Demon Barber of Fleet Street.

I knew that Depp had signed on to portray Barnabas Collins in the film version of “Dark Shadows” but I just saw that BURTON was attached to that too. Even though Tim Burton has been re-imagining and remaking things a bit much recently for my tastes but I still love the guy. There have been hits and there have been misses but the man has a unique vision time and time again. He makes me want to buy a movie ticket. Hearing that he and Depp are attached to Dark Shadows as well as Alice in Wonderland makes my geek heart gush.

It should be a hoot.

Monday, July 28, 2008

Thor’s Hammer


“Did you know that 5 people got struck by lightning today in New Jersey?” Mother Hen said to me last night as I was cooking dinner.

“…Really?” I said as I prepped the burgers for the grill. “That’s blog worthy.” I mean, lightning happens but to 5 people in one afternoon? That’s pretty scary.

But such lightning activity is not uncommon. See: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lightning_safety. According to this article, “Nearly 2000 people per year in the world are injured by lightning strikes. In the USA between 9-10% of those struck die, amounting to an average of 75 fatalities annually. In the United States, it is the #2 weather killer (second only to floods), killing 100 annually and injuring ten times that number. The odds of an average person living in the USA being struck by lightning in a given year is 1:700,000. Roy Sullivan has the record for being the human who has been struck by lightning the most times. Working as a park ranger, Roy was struck seven times over the course of his 35 year career. He lost a nail on his big toe, and suffered multiple injuries to the rest of his body.”

Roy’s gotta be a little nervous when the clouds gather and the rain starts falling. I think after getting hit the first time I’d be looking for some other line of work. Definitely after getting hit a second time. Maybe something in a basement somewhere or perhaps something to do with a rubber insulated room. Come to think of it, certain parties have suggested over the years that a rubber room is just what I needed. But enough about me, this is about lightening.

Wikipedia, my favorite second brain explains the phenomenon here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lightening - fascinating stuff. I didn’t know that there were so many types of lightning. There’s positive lightning, cloud-to-cloud, dry lightning, cloud-to-ground, bead lightning, ribbon lightning, staccato lightning, ground-to-cloud lightning, ball lightning, and then there’s upper-atmospheric lightning that includes things like sprites, blue jets and ELVES. Yes, Elves which stands for, Emissions of Light and Very Low Frequency Perturbations from Electromagnetic Pulse Sources. This is not to be confused with Gnome lightning which stands for Get the heck to shelter - No One is going to survive except ME because I’m in a shelter.

So what can you do to protect yourself? As per the above article, “The US National Lightning Safety Institute advises everyone to have a plan for their safety when a thunderstorm occurs and to commence it as soon as the first lightning or thunder is observed. This is important, since lightning can strike without rain actually falling. If thunder can be heard at all then there is a risk of lightning. The safest place is inside a building or a vehicle. Risk remains for up to 30 minutes after the last observed lightning or thunder. If a person is injured by lightning they do not carry an electrical charge and can be safely handled to apply First aid before emergency services arrive.” So there you have it. Get out of the water, get off the golf links, and if you can’t, get as low as possible to the ground as you can. Amongst the trees is not a good place to hide since lightning routinely discharges onto the tallest thing standing and tree shrapnel is not a good way to go.

Still, there is something hypnotic about a good storm; the raw energy surrounding you, the awesome power displayed before your eyes that reminds us that we are but a small part of a vast eco-system. I can see what the allure is to the “storm chasers”, those guys that drive towards big storms, tornados and hurricanes? They are not all crazy. There is something to that experience, something that connects them to a much larger world. That sort of thing could easily become addictive.

So when the clouds gather and the rain starts falling don’t fret, Gentle Reader, I’ve got plenty of space in my rubber room for all of us.

Saturday, July 26, 2008

I Still Want To Believe


Before I get started let me just say that X-Files: I Want to Believe, is best appreciated if you are already a fan. You see, X-Files is like that old pair of running shoes you have in your closet. Sure they may be old and worn but they are comfortable and you are happy that you rediscovered them. Still you wouldn’t want to give your shoes to someone who has never worn them before; that’s just asking for trouble – and blisters too, I might add. If you are a fan you’ll enjoy what you see. If you have no idea who these people are or what they are trying to accomplish you might get a lost. It’s been about 6 years since X-Files graced TV screens and in that time a lot of people are simply not going to know who Fox and Dana are.

Fortunately for yours truly, I’m a fan; but not just me this time – Mother Hen is too! It was with a certain degree of hopefulness that we schlepped over to the multiplex last night to check out, “X-Files: I Want To Believe”. Back in the show’s heyday Mother Hen and I would make time to watch it together, in between my working shift work and her work schedule. It was a ritual. We would make tea and watch the X-Files. It was beautiful. The show switched from Friday to Sunday but we still held on and then David Duchovny, the man who so adeptly plays Fox Mulder, left the show. Now I must confess, I love Ms. Gillian Anderson (Agent Scully – a wonderful Irish name I might add) but the show suffered from Favoritus-Disappearus when that happened a lot of the chemistry went with it. After a nice run from 1993 – 2002 the show called it quits.

BUT… there was so much left to tell. No really. What about the government conspiracies? What about the aliens of all shapes and sizes? What was the deal with that oily substance that invaded the host? Just what was the final fate of Alex Krycek? Was that child really Scully and Mulder’s? What about the alien invasion of 2012? Would the fluke man ever return? Inquiring minds want to know! The original X-Files had so much to offer. It was Chris Carter (the creator, writer and sometime director) at the top of his game. X-Files: I Want to Believe feels like its joints need to be greased and some rust sanded off. I want to believe that there will be a part III because I have no doubt that Carter would bring his A game. Rumor has it part III would be one of the “Mythology Episodes” and would focus on the alien invasion scheduled to happen on December 22, 2012. Mulder and Scully staving off the end of the world? Now there’s something I’d go to the theaters for.

“So should I go see it, Evil Chicken?”

Yes. If you’re a fan it will be like slipping on those running shoes in your closet. If you are not a fan expect some blisters.

See you at the multiplex.

Friday, July 25, 2008

Goodbye, Mr. Pausch


The man lived life like he was dying. Here is CNN’s write up: http://www.cnn.com/2008/SHOWBIZ/books/07/25/obit.pausch/index.html. Here’s what my favorite second brain has to say: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Randy_Pausch. Interesting man.

If you haven’t seen Professor Randy Pausch’s, “Last Lecture” on You Tube – do so. You can find it here: http://youtube.com/watch?v=ji5_MqicxSo. It’s about an hour and seventeen minutes long so grab a cup of coffee (or tea if you are so inclined) and watch it. Oh sure you can just do the snippets which are poignant enough but for the full picture of who the man was and the message that he spent the rest of his life getting across you’ve got to watch the whole thing.

This is not a dress rehearsal – live your life.

Godspeed, Professor.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

While ALMOST Mowing the Lawn


Yesterday evening marked the 6th day in a heat wave that we have been having in the Swamps of Jersey. I believe the high was 97 degrees Fahrenheit. I would give you the Celsius measurement but I am at once both too ignorant to know it off the top of my head and too lazy to look it up on a convenient web site.

Blame it on the heat.

Oh but its out there. Growing. Why is that? Why does the grass continue to grow in this heat? Shouldn’t it just want to lay as dormant as I want to? No – grass is a real ‘go getter’. You would think that it would just burn. Wouldn’t that be great?! Oh yeah. I’d love the yard to be dead; brown and dead – dust bowl dead. Yeah, that would be nice.

Man, it’s hot.

I had such high hopes for the ivy (see: http://evilchickenscratch.blogspot.com/2008/06/while-mowing-lawn.html). The plan was simple enough; plant ivy and kill grass. The ivy would spread like a plague covering the tenacious lawn with a lush greenness that would never need to be mowed! That’s a brilliant plan. Oh yes, and the plan would have worked too, if it weren’t for those meddling kids!

No that’s not right the meddling kids had nothing to do with this one.

“When are you going to come and pick up the bucket of ivy?” my friend from work asked. “It’s starting to stink.”

“Stink?” I asked.

“Yes.” She said. “All you’ll have to do is wash it with bleach.”

“Bleach?”

“Yes. It’s right to the left after you open the gate.

“Right.” I said. “I’ll pick it up.”

And true to my word I did just that. The bucket was exactly where she said it would be and so was the smell. No, that does not do it justice, Gentle Reader. Please forgive me – allow me to rephrase the latter part of that sentence. Here we go…

SO WAS THE SMELL!

Yeah, that’s better. The five-gallon bucket reeked of dead horse intestine stewing in its own juices for about two weeks in the hot sun. I could detect horse feces somehow in the mix. Vultures would have been circling save for the fact that this was supposed to be plant life. No – this really smelled of decaying flesh. The scent of death was about it. It was some abomination of nature warping both animal and plant DNA together in some macabre poached brew plucked from some level of Hell where Satan puts his own black skid marked stained undies. Brutal.

“Bleach!” I said out loud to no one but myself. My friend and her husband were not home so I was officially talking to myself. The simple fact was that there was not enough bleach in my pantry to save what was left of the ‘ivy’. I began to hatch a plan. I couldn’t leave it here. She (my friend) had been kind enough to put the abomination in the bucket for me in the first place and she had made a request for me to pick it up from her residence – a job that I had agreed to do. There was no way that I could take it all the way to my place. I had to find a home for it… nearby. And that’s exactly what I did. I dumped out a little of the concoction so that it wouldn’t spill in the bed of my small SUV.

…Oh the stench…

I put the bucket in my trunk and drove to the woods where I introduced ‘ivy’ to the local environment. I didn’t litter – that would have been wrong. Instead I stimulated the ecosphere and reforested a bare patch in the forest.

Hideous.

I thanked my friend for her troubles, deodorized my truck and silently wished that the initial plan had come to fruition. Ah, “the best laid plans of mice and men”; this was a good one too. Now instead of ivy I’ve got a lawn full of tall, hot grass that needs mowing. Oh well, what’s a boy to do?

Maybe I’ll ask my friend for another bucket sans the horse intestine. Hey (or hay), it could work.

Saturday, July 19, 2008

The Dark Knight


Stop reading this Blog if you do NOT want any spoilers – in fact stop reading this blog and head directly to a high quality digital theater with crystal clear surround sound; no – hold on a tick… go directly to your local IMAX theater for the full 70 foot tall Gotham City experience.

“Why?”

Simple answer – this film is worth it. It is the best film I’ve seen this year – not just the summer popcorn movie blitz that I usually ply you with Gentle Reader. This one is the real deal. I could gush more about the movie and bleed in four-color comic book for you but that’s all been done before; even, dare I say – believe it or not – right here at this blog.

No – let’s look at the film as just that; a film. Let’s just ignore the idea that it’s a “comic book” movie. Instead, consider approaching this film like it is a psychological crime drama with excellent characterization and an actual coherent plot. Imagine that. The film is an exploration of both the truth (and our perception or it) and individuals having limits verses individuals without them.

The Joker is devoid of anything that resembles a conscience. He is a sociopath; an agent of chaos; he has no limits and that is just the way he likes it. The Batman for all his issues at his core – his heart of hearts – he does not want to see anyone hurt the way that he was and in defending this personal code of ethics the words DO NOT MURDER are at the top of his list. The Joker has no such limit, no such internal regulation. There is a certain symbiotic nature to their relationship. The Joker sees it first. He knows that they are both damaged goods when he says, “To them (the public) you’re just a freak… Like me!” He knows the limits of the Batman and he wants to test those limits – repeatedly, and this testing includes a high body count.

Let’s discuss acting. What a cast. Christopher Nolan has assembled a wonderful cast to bring the Dark Knight to the screen. Christian Bale is the best Batman who has ever donned the body armor and cowl. Could there be a better Alfred than Michael Caine? Morgan Freeman as Lucius Fox the head of Wayne’s Enterprises and the designer of Batman’s arsenal. Maggie Gyllenhaal is Rachel Dawes this time out; last time Katie Holmes and she didn’t reprise her role this time out. Who knows why? I really dig Gyllenhaal though – good choice. Gary Oldman is Lieutenant and then Commissioner Gordon. Man, I really loved the scenes with Oldman. His Gordon is fair, hardnosed and smart – just like in the comic books. Imagine that. Aaron Eckhart as the tragic Harvey Dent (Two-Face). And then there is Heath Ledger. By now you have heard the hype concerning Heath Ledger and his last roll? BELIEVE IT. It’s bitter sweet since it is the last time that Mr. Ledger will play the role due, of course to his tragic demise. Now I love Cesar Romero and Jack Nicholson as much as the next fan boy but the Joker has now been embodied in the person of Mr. Heath Ledger. If he does not receive the posthumous Oscar nod for Best Actor the Academy Awards should be boycotted. Seriously. In an early scene in the film the Joker introduces himself to the crime bosses of Gotham City – in an instant he sets the tone for the entire film; he establishes just who the Joker is and what he is capable of doing. Unreal. Watching Ledger embody this character is unforgettable. His performance is that good. From now on it will always be his part – his role. No doubt.

“Do you wanna see a magic trick?” Go see The Dark Knight. Get a sitter if you have kids; this in not for them. It’s the definitive Batman on the big screen and it is not to be missed. Welcome the 900-pound gorilla, ladies and gentlemen. It’s worth the wait and all the Oscar nods it’s about to receive.

I’ll see you at the IMAX for that whole 70-foot Gotham City experience. It’s worth the ride.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

This Town Needs a Better Viral Campaign…


...And I’m gonna give it to ‘em.

As I write this little blog entry the moments are ticking down to the 12:01 AM showing of The Dark Knight. If you were lucky enough to get a ticket God bless ya. I’m hitting the theaters tomorrow night with a group of like-minded fan boys and girls.

I can’t wait.

The spin has been unreal concerning this next installment of the Christopher Nolan Batman series. I’ve heard of a posthumous Oscar nod for Heath Ledger, as well as, best director for Nolan and even, Best Picture has been discussed.

Seriously.

Any way, I should really finish this quickly since the hours are ticking away and these: http://www.comcast.net/thedarkknightmovie/#/videos/exclusives (six “exclusive videos” won’t be so exclusive in a few hours.) There’s also a game, which can be found here: http://www.comcast.net/thedarkknightmovie/game/.

“Evil Chicken”, how can this be?”

Good question, Gentle Reader. It seems that a representative from a company called Rocket XL asked me to post here on Chicken Scratch those two links if I was going to write about The Dark Knight; in return they would send me a movie ticket.

Hey, I’m in.

I’m not sure if Rocket XL was responsible for the viral marketing campaign for The Dark Knight or not but just in case they were I asked for a job in my response back to the company. I’ll let you know if I’m switching vocations or not.

Until then, I’ll see you at the multiplex! As I’ve said before – THIS will be the 900-pound gorilla of the summer (see this: http://evilchickenscratch.blogspot.com/2008/01/evil-chickens-spring-summer-movie.html); the definitive BATMAN on the big screen – sign me up.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Memphis Minnie McCoy-Lawler – I Owe You an Apology


I recently credited one of my favorite bands, Led Zeppelin with writing the song, “When the Levee Breaks.” I was wrong. As it turns out according to http://www.songfacts.com/ (main site and most certainly worth investigating if you are a music fan), or more specifically, http://www.songfacts.com/detail.php?id=335, “The lyrics to this song (written by Memphis Minnie in 1927) are based on The Great Mississippi Flood of 1927. African-American plantation workers were forced to work on the levee at gunpoint, piling sandbags to save the neighboring towns. Hence the lyrics, "I works on the levee, mama both night and day, I works so hard, to keep the water away." After the levee breached, blacks were not allowed to leave the area, and were forced to work in the relief and cleanup effort, living in camps with limited access to the supplies, which were coming in. Many left at the first chance since there was no work in the Delta after the destruction of all of the plantations; hence the lyrics, "Oh cryin' won't help you, prayin' won't do no good" and "I's a mean old levee, cause me to weep and moan, gonna leave my baby, and my happy home”.

Wow.

Rock, blues, and jazz – we really owe a debt to untold thousands of African American musicians. There is an article by Barry Lee Pearson at All Music that you should check out (http://www.allmusic.com/cg/amg.dll?p=amg&sql=11:kiftxq95ld0e~T1). Of course there is always my favorite second brain too: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Memphis_Minnie.

I’m sorry Memphis Minnie; I didn’t know. I look forward to discovering you for myself.

Sunday, July 13, 2008

My Movie Wish List


“A work of art is never completed, just abandoned.” – Guillaume Apollinaire

That’s a great quote from someone I have absolutely no idea about of whom they are. I heard George Lucas paraphrase it by substituting the word “film” for “art”. Hold on a tick; let’s check out Wikipedia…

Searching…

Searching…

Ok, here we are: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guillaume_Apollinaire. “He (Guillaume Apollinaire) was a French poet, writer and art critic born in Italy to a Polish mother. Among the foremost poets of the early 20th century, he is credited with coining the word “surrealism” and writing one of the earliest works described as surrealist, the play, “Les Mamelles de Tiresias” (1917, later used as the basis for an opera in 1947). Two years after being wounded in World War I, he died at 38 of the Spanish Flu during the pandemic.”

There you go; you learn something new every day.

Anyway, let me get back on topic; please forgive me Gentle Reader; I saw a bright shiny thing.

As a Fan Boy and Movie Geek it occurs to me that there are certain movies that I would like to see happen; certain films that just ache to be made – stories that deserve to be completed and told. The last blog got me to thinking what other movies need to be completed, or rather, which films would benefit from having their plots move forward. Sequels are rarely as good as their predecessor; that being said, here is a list of films that I would like to see come to fruition. Yes, the majority of this list may be pure adolescent wish fulfillment but I’m ok with that. I’ve always enjoyed the concept of being entertained at the movies – if I wanted to weep I’d watch the news. I would pay hard money on opening night to go see at the local multiplex and I think the viewing public would be too. Without further ado here’s my list in no particular order…

1. Blade Runner II. Ridley Scott needs to be at the helm once more. I want more replicants, an older Gaff (portrayed by Edward James Olmos once more) who is a Blade Runner himself and the final answer as to if Rick Deckard was a replicant or not. For the record – I think he was.

2. Snake Plissken. John Carpenter needs to come out of his self-imposed retirement and make this movie. Kurt Russell needs to reprise this role one more time. There were plans at one time to make “Escape from Planet Earth” but they fell through when “Escape from L.A.” went belly up in the theaters. It did well on DVD and the anti-hero, Snake has always been one of my personal favorites. I'm with ya Kurt... or rather, Mr. Russell.

3. The Dark Knight Returns. How’s this for a recipe – make the third film in the current trilogy with the Riddler as the bad guy and then take some time off. Really. Now transplant the exact cast and crew into the future and make Frank Miller’s “The Dark Knight Returns”. It simply could not miss. Amazing stuff and worth the wait.

4. Hellboy III. See: http://evilchickenscratch.blogspot.com/2008/07/hellboy-ii-golden-army.html for all my reasons.

5. Iron Man II. John Favreau must helm and Robert Downey Jr. must reprise his role as Tony Stark – in fact, the whole cast needs to return. It has been reported that they don’t want to rush into a cookie cutter sequel and this brings a smile to my beating geek heart. With the momentum of Iron Man II they just need to keep rolling and make “Ultimate Avengers”. It looks like Marvel Films is gearing up for this to happen and I’m all a-tingle. This will Rock. Favreau should helm the project. He gets it; not only that – he wants to share it. “What’s ‘it’?” you may ask. ‘It’ is a love and appreciation for the characters and world of Marvel Comics. ‘Nuff said.

6. Mad Max IV. You could argue that Mad Max has already had his transition from losing his humanity (Mad Max), discovering that he is still part of the human race (The Road Warrior), and rejoining humanity (in Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome) but there is a part of me that just wants more. Mad Max needs to restart civilization; that would be a good destiny for Max.

7. King Conan: Crown of Iron. Sure Schwarzenegger is the governor of California but this is more important. Since the presidency in the United States is out why not a kingdom? Conan, in Robert E. Howard’s series becomes King so why not have it happen on the big screen? John Milius would be my choice to direct.

8. Evil Dead IV (or Army of Darkness II). Sam Rami must direct and Bruce Campbell must reprise the role of Ash. I’d love to see an older Ash up to his elbows in Deadite bad guys at the S-mart. Sharpen the old chainsaw and clean the boomstick. Groovy.

9. Indiana Jones. Yep, I don’t want to see it end and if the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull showed us anything, then there is still a lot of life left in this series. Now there’s another generation of Jones’ to keep up with.

10. Buckaroo Banzai Against the World Crime League. This will never be made since I believe I am the only Buckaroo Banzai fan on the eastern seaboard. I’d love to see it happen but this is the long shot on a list of long shots. It would be great to see as many of the original cast reprise their roles for the twenty-first century though. Make mine Yoyodyne.

11. Goonies II. Hear me out – who wouldn’t want to see this film happen? It would need the original cast and their kids as they protect the “Goon Docks” from some new threat. If I were pitching it I’d call it “The Big Chill” meets… well, “The Goonies”. It would be a fun night at the movies.

12. 2061 – Odyssey Three. I’d love to see this one happen; of course I wish that Roy Scheider was still with us to reprise the role of Dr. Heywood Floyd. It would be great to see what the aliens from the monolith and the HAL 9000 are up to on the big screen once more. Hey – who knows, it could happen.

So there’s my dozen. I know that there is nothing new under the sun and it’s hard enough to launch anything that is ‘new’ in the movie marketplace today but still there’s a place in my matinee heart for these potential flicks.

So, did I miss anything?

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Hellboy II: The Golden Army


Gentle Reader – DO NOT READ THIS if you want to remain spoiler free.

Guillermo del Toro and Mike Mignola have stumbled onto a great little trilogy IF number 3 is made (“oh please – oh please – oh please”, Evil Chicken said crossing his fingers across his chest). Hellboy II: The Golden Army is worth the price of admission and it does something that so many sequels forget to do; continues to move the story along. This is not an introduction but a continuation. Big Red (Hellboy) is a demon summoned by the nazis during World War II who according to Wikipedia (my favorite second brain) says, “...who finds himself fighting for the U.S. government and himself against dark forces, in a series of tales that have their roots in both folklore and pulp fiction battling a range of enemies from Nazis to Baba Yaga.” Yeah… that’s about right. Oh also, you should know, Hellboy doesn’t like what he is or the plan for his life. He is destined to usher in the apocalypse, a fact that seriously conflicts him emotionally since his intentions are usually good. He becomes the poster child for free will – he knows what he is but he continually chooses to do what is right. As an outward sign of this he continuously has to file down the horns on his head.

Ok, that being said…

Hellboy II moves forward the story of Big Red (Anung un Rama), Abe Sapien (a telepathic merman) and Liz Sherman, Hellboy’s pyrokinetic (controls fire with her mind) girlfriend. Much has been happening at the Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defense (BPRD) since last we met the crew. Big Red is tired of hiding from the world in secret; Abe is about to fall in love and Liz (you remember this is a SPOILER LADEN blog, yes?) is pregnant and doesn’t know how to tell Big Red. Which is a shame since a long forgotten war is about to break out anew between the Elves & other mythkind and the humans. Guillermo has an eye for the fantastic – there is always something going on in Hellboy II; whether it’s the attack of the tooth fairies (yes, you read that right), the troll marketplace (which made me think of Harry Potter’s “Diagon Alley” on steroids), a battle with an elemental (that harkens to H.P. Lovecraft’s Cthulu lore), a meeting with Big Red’s own personal Angel of Death or the goblin built Golden Army – the visuals are stunning and something that you really haven’t seen before. There are moments where Big Red is challenged after he revels himself to the outside world and is not really excepted. The reaction that he gets is not what he expected, after all he is the good guy. Prince Nuada (portrayed masterfully by Luke Gross) asks Big Red why he fights for the humans when he has so much more in common with the opposition. When faced with this question Hellboy does not have an immediate answer – save for the love of Liz which roots him to humanity. On some level he’s a teetering on the edge of accepting his destiny of ushering in the end of the world. In the end he has gained control over the unstoppable Golden Army so he’s got the tools and the talent to do so – the mediating factor is Liz, his anchor and soon to be mother of their twins.

Oh it begs for part three – an amazing end to a very well realized series. The third, if green lit, will reportedly be a “heartbreaker” (according to Mr. Del Toro). We have the end of the world, the birth of the twins and whatever happens with Liz and Big Red to look forward to. I hope that it gets made – the story deserves it. Part of me wishes that Guillermo would make Hellboy III before he moves onto "The Hobbit".

Oh yes, I went there.

Hey, if you like having a good time at the movies go see Hellboy II. It’s no secret, I love Guillermo del Toro – the guy is good. He has one of the most unique visions in film today. Go support this movie because I can’t wait to see how it’s all gonna end.

I’ll see you at the multiplex. Oh, and before I go, after you see the movie if you are not reminded of Tom Cruise when you see the Elf Prince on the screen I’ll buy you a coffee.

Talk soon…

File Under G for GEEK


March 6th – 8th in 2009, in Cherry Hill of all places, a Star Trek convention will take place and yours truly, Gentle Reader, will be there. Gory details: http://www.creationent.com/cal/stnj.htm#events. That’s right – I said it; I’m going to a Star Trek convention. I don’t know who will be appearing yet but it will be worth the visit for the experience alone.

“Have a good time.” My wife said.

“Oh come on – it’ll be fun.” I said.

“I’m sure you’ll have a good time.” She replied.

“Don’t you want to go and see the sights – share the experience?”

“No.”

“Yeah but…”

“No.”

“How about the…”

“No.” That was three ‘NO’s – the official telemarketers cease and desist bugging me at home while I’m trying to eat dinner notice. Oh yes, I’ll play at your clever ruse – for now. Who can resist the siren call of a good Star Trek convention? It’s like the seductive dance of a green Orion Slave Girl or spelunking to a Horta or reproducing to a Tribble – it’s manna to any geek worth his or her salt.

I haven’t given up on her yet.

I think the kids will dig the experience. How often do I get a chance to embarrass and emotional scar my progeny by geeking out at a Star Trek convention? Not very often (well, at least at a Star Trek convention). Oh, who am I kidding? They’re gonna love it. Be it genetics or osmosis or proximity they are geeks too!

I am so proud.

I would like to go on record as saying that I have never owned a pair of pointy ears nor a Starfleet uniform. Costumes are not my bag, baby – at least at Star Trek conventions. There are those who do enjoy it but that’s not my scene. I’ve been more than content to watch them though; Orion Slave Girls, Vulcans, Andorians and the ever-present representatives from the Klingon Empire. Instead of the costumes, I have always been drawn to the story – the whole ‘human adventure is just beginning’ thing? I enjoy hearing the tales of those who bring the legend to life. I find it fascinating. As a guy who likes to write there are those dream jobs on projects that you would like to have a hand in helping to move forward – writing for Star Trek is one of those dream jobs. That’s pretty cool, in a geek like fashion, to hear what these guys have to say about moving the story forward.

You know, perhaps I’m looking at this whole ‘get my wife to a Star Trek convention’ thing the wrong way. Maybe I’ve been looking at this whole costume thing through jaded eyes – maybe I should learn the seductive dance of the Orion Slave Girls.

Hmmm, now where did I put that green paint?

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

“…When the Levee Breaks – I Got No Place To Stay.” – Led Zeppelin


“Marco Pollo – where have you been Evil Chicken?” Ah Gentle Reader, yet again I am impressed with your line of questioning and reason. I’ve been out of town, so to speak, and have not been able to keep you apprised of things as of late. Please forgive me. I hope that this little blog will answer any questions you may (or may not have had) over the course of this past week.

As it turns out a group from my church flew out to Columbus, Indiana to assist the Billy Graham Association and Samaritan’s Purse with the cleanup from the flooding that hit the area. Columbus, Indiana was hit by freak floods that left two dead (that number could have been so much higher), 2,100 households affected and 47 of those homes (and that is a low number) are scheduled to be bulldozed. Since the area was in a “500 year floodplain” 95% of those affected did not have flood insurance. Everything they had is just gone – piles of furniture, photos, memorabilia, heirlooms - gone; just piles of mud covered garbage on the corner of drying property remain. Billy Graham Association (http://www.billygraham.org/) and Samaritan’s Purse (http://www.samaritan.org/) responded immediately. The team from my church (our team) were replacement chaplains for ones that were at Columbus the week before. When we leave, we may be replaced as well, although they might deploy teams to Iowa instead of Indiana. We’ll see.

We flew into Indianapolis International Airport on 6/30/08, rented a couple of cars and headed southward to Columbus. We met out BGA site leader who was staying at the mobile office (a fifth wheel) parked at another church across town. He was a practical man who gave the team some good advice by telling us that we were not there to proselytize or to push any particular doctrine – our job is to “love onto anybody who needs it.” He explained that flexibility is key and that good listening skills were a must. “Don’t assume that you know what these people are going through even if you have been through a flood – this situation is unique and highly individualized.” This was my first time being a part of a Rapid Response Team but even I know good advice when I hear it.

We stayed in the basement of the Free Methodist Church of Columbus and our days were spent out in the community. We were housed with SPs (Samaritan’s Purse) and shared breakfast with them each morning before starting our day. There were two southern women in that church kitchen who knew what they were doing – believe me, everything is better with biscuits, sausage gravy and grits. Those with gray shirts went to their worksites and those with blue shirts went to communities. We would rendezvous for lunch at various worksites and deliver food for SPs and people working on their homes and dinners were either back at the church or we’d grab something in the community. Those ladies in the kitchen were always amazing cooking for about 50 people day in and day out. Did I mention that everything is better with sausage gravy? The Texas Roadhouse, Chik-Fil-A, and White Castle made some pretty amazing contributions to the community while we were there. White Castle provided 100 meals for us to distribute to families who are rebuilding. Providing a meal for someone is a blessing to everyone involved in the process. All we did was deliver the food, but those who provided it and those who enjoyed it deserve to be remembered.

In my mind’s eye several stories are still being sorted out so please forgive the stream of consciousness that you are about to read. I won’t include names – only stories. It is a bit of a blur. From 7/1/08 – 7/6/08, we spent our days wandering the communities providing a shoulder to cry on, to pray with or simply an ear to listen to their story of where they were when the water came. The six of us would split into teams of 3 or sometimes teams of 2. We carried bottled water with us as well. For many the water came quickly and without warning. There was one woman in her seventies told me that there was a knock at her door – it was her neighbor warning her about the threat. She said that he was standing in ankle deep water when she received the warning – 15 minutes later everything was under 4 feet of water. When it comes to a flood it doesn’t matter if you have two inches or two feet in your living room – once it’s in the damage is done. The black mold is not far behind. People’s crawl spaces and basements flooded leaving nothing but mud and wreckage behind. I saw at least four basement walls that had collapsed leaving the houses that they still precariously straddle, uninhabitable. There was one woman who told us that the insurance agent laughed when she asked about flood insurance – he didn’t think that she needed it. Everything is gone now. I met a man who is about my age; he’s a musician who just put a studio in his basement next to his Star Wars toy and comic collection. “It’s all just… stuff – junk now. I thank God that we got out at all.” The SPs were working at ripping out sheetrock, insulation and setting up fans to make sure that everything is bone dry before the new sheetrock gets tacked up onto the bare studs that the man’s home is now. He has a four year old and his wife is carrying twins. He’s looking forward to getting back into his house to make things ready. She’s due in two months. There was a woman who had been through basic training with the Army 3 times since she’s having a hard time passing her marksmanship. She was home at her father’s house mowing the lawn when she noticed that her feet were getting wet. A tornado had taken down two panels of a stockade fence that she hadn’t replaced so when she saw the three-foot wall of water coming she immediately went into the house for her truck keys and her dad. The water was thigh high and moving swiftly but they got out. I met a man who was painting a house. He smiled but you could tell that he was hurting. He told us that he was helping out a friend. He said that he didn’t live in the town but that his business was completely destroyed. He is a retired trucker who opened a restaurant up in Flat Rock (anther affected town north of Columbus). His restaurant is full of about a foot and a half of mud. It’s over for him; since it is not a residence FEMA can’t do anything for him. The SBA (Small Business Association) can’t help either due to back taxes that are still owed. We met another man who got out of his trailer just in time to save “Gizmo” his dog. The water was up to his chest as he held onto his dog – they got away, his trailer didn’t. We met a woman in her seventies who had a large group of SPs working under her trailer in Tyvek suits and facemasks. They were scraping, vacuuming and removing large amounts of spray on insulation that, literally, gets everywhere. The woman was so thankful to have the assistance – she was so proud of her grandchildren and thanked us for being there. It was at this house that our team met a young woman who was working with SP; she was a local who was volunteering with them and joined us when we traveled to Third, Fourth and Fifth streets. Her grandmother lives on sixth and the waters didn’t reach her – chances are everything from fifth down will have to be ripped away. The city will probably turn the community into a park when all is said and done; right now it resembles something out of a post-apocalyptic science fiction movie. You can walk right down the middle of the street surrounded on both sides by the flotsam & jetsam of wreckage left behind by the waters and homes that are nothing but shells – everything inside them is gone. There are notices on the doors there, which warn if nothing is done within 30 - 60 days that the city will mow them down. Yellow tape that proclaims, “DO NOT CROSS” can be found wrapped around some properties. Most of the inhabitants are gone but still there are the occasional group of workers or, even more rare, a hold out. We met such a lady there amongst the damage. She and her family live on the second floor of a home that was submerged under about nine feet of water. She was drying out her home with fans. Her father’s scooter was mud covered. I mentioned that Medicaid might be able to assist in getting another one. I told her that if they denied her request to file an appeal immediately. She has her feet dug in but it might be a losing battle to stay. We ran into an old woman in her 80s who had that 1,000 yard stare – the look that says one is still coming to grips with the shape of this new world that is reality now. She was living in her garage. We went over to talk to her. She told us that everything around her was borrowed except the only thing she still owned, her refrigerator, which amazingly still worked. She told us that if it were not for her grandson she would be dead. He came and told her that there was a flood as he moved the car to higher ground. In the time that it took him to move the car the water rose to chest height. She said that she opened a door in her house and her freezer floated into her living room. We prayed with another woman whose trailer had been lost – she’s living with her son for now and is thankful to be alive. We met an old woman who was raking her lawn of debris. Her husband died last year. I took the rake from her and finished her lawn while Danny (our team leader from my church) spoke and prayed with her. He was able to connect her with Samaritan’s Purse too, they’ll be a big help for her in the coming days. We met a young man who wanted us to visit his college; he told us that there were several people affected by the flood there, both faculty and students, so we did. It was there that we met the assistant dean of the school who encouraged us as much as we tried to encourage her. We received a call from some SPs out in the country. They were working on a home deep in a cornfield that stands next to the Flat Rock River. Living here were, “Granny” and one of her sons. Once more these people were more of an encouragement to us than we were to them. They came so close to losing everything but they were so happy and thankful for the work that was being done on their home and in their lives. Granny gleefully told us how happy she was to have her Bible replaced. She then went on to tell us that she still is very happy to go hunting and fishing. Two years ago she bagged two bucks and this past year she landed a 42-pound catfish. Granny is in her eighties. Her son has several physical issues but is content. He told us not to pray for him but to pray for the Church of Christ – we went to pray with him but he prayed for us instead. The smell of bleach was almost unbearable but Granny and her son didn’t seem to mind. We delivered a horse trailer full of sheetrock and insulation to three homes. A church about two hundred miles to the north decided to use their building fund for the flood victims instead of for it’s intended use. It was money well spent. The homeowners could not believe their eyes as we stacked the piles of sheetrock and insulation into their broken homes. There was enough to supply for three houses.

We heard words such as, “It came so fast,” “We just got out with our pets,” or “All we had… is gone,” were recurring themes; as were, “Thank you,” “God is good,” and “Could we pray together?” I remember asking our BGA (Billy Graham Association) site leader about FEMA and if they have changed since Hurricane Katrina. “Yes, they have, but people’s expectations of what they can do and what they actually do are two different things.” If you were a homeowner then FEMA can help by cutting you a check but if you rent then FEMA can’t help. The team from my church spent a lot of time in what was considered at one time, low income. These people didn’t own their homes – they were renters. Why is there suffering? I don’t have an answer for that – it’s way too far beyond me. I can tell you that Jesus asked the same question while hanging from a cross and HE didn’t get an answer either. “It is what it is,” my wife is fond of saying. There’s a lot of wisdom in that response. The bad times shape us, refine us. I once heard a woman say, “You either throw your hands up in surrender or you put up your dukes and fight.” Simplistic? maybe; but words have the taste of truth.

The trip was never about yours truly; “Oh look how wonderful Evil Chicken is!” No. Don’t believe that hype. Trust me… that is simply not the case. It was about being a part of Church of Jesus Christ – being a part of that body; it’s about seeing the hand of God moving in a community. Yes it’s about doing something for those who can’t do for themselves but it’s also about reminding people that they are not alone. The stories and the faces of the people from Columbus, Indiana will always be with me but it’s watching God move in the midst of the destruction that I will always remember.

The community of Columbus, Indiana is healing. They are progressing along through the process of grieving, cleaning up and moving on. There is a general sense that they are ready to do so. Our BGA site leader is moving southward towards Cedar Rapids, Iowa where the levees broke anew. There will be another team of chaplains responding there as well as another army of Samaritan’s Purse workers. My team got back home yesterday afternoon reuniting with our families. I missed them so; but this past week I was exactly where I needed to be.

My thoughts and prayers are with all those affected by the waters rise.

Saturday, June 28, 2008

2008 Mid-Summer Movie Guide


It’s been a pretty good summer at the multiplex thus far. There have been some surprises and some real solid storytelling. For my money and as of today I’d have to say that “Iron Man” is the best summer movie I’ve seen this year. “Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull” would be number two and “The Incredible Hulk” would be number three. There’s a huge piece of nostalgia that comes along with an Indiana Jones movie. There was some negative spin but I believe the movie delivered – it furthered the story of who Indy is and who he is becoming. Mission accomplished. I can only hope that they (Spielberg and Lucas) will make another. “The Incredible Hulk” was infinitely better than the last film. The filmmakers’ chose to Ed Norton delivered as Bruce Banner too. Marvel is setting us up for a glorious geekfest with a major “Ultimate Avengers” movie. I will be apoplectic with joy. They will have to wheel me into the theater – I’ll be the one with the drool cup.

The summer has had its share of flops too. “Speed Racer” and “The Love Guru” got the smack down. I was surprised that “Speed Racer” didn’t perform better. I thought that kids would flock to it bringing their parents along for the popcorn buying ride. I was wrong. Now I have not seen “The Love Guru” but by all I’ve read, surmised, and seen in the titanic ad campaign it looks as though that same joke that Mike Meyers has been telling for the last 6 films or so has finally caught up to him. I’ll wait for the rental – maybe.

But enough of looking backwards; what’s done is done – lets move on, shall we? So what’s next? Will the top three (my three favorites thus far) be steadfast or will they tumble too? Here’s what’s on deck…

1. Wall-E. Opened 6/27/08. When I grow up I want to work for Pixar. All spin I’ve read says that they have done it again. This one is in our future – the kids are jazzed and so am I. Chicken Little says that she would like to “Huggle him.” I have a sneaky suspicion she’s not going to be alone in that sentiment. Pixar – if you’re out there, I can provide a resume at your request.

2. Wanted. Opened 6/27/08. I never read the comic but I have read other stuff by the man who created the property, Mr. Mark Millar. His Kung-Fu is good. I have always enjoyed Angelina Jolie’s body of work, as well. I don’t know if I’ll be seeing the movie in the theaters but it might be worth a look see. This film has the misfortune of sharing the same opening weekend with “Wall-E” and Wall-E is going to mop the floor with Jolie. Hey – that rhymes!

3. Hellboy II: The Golden Army. Opens 7/11/08. Guillermo del Toro is the man. This’ll be a fun night at the movies. I don’t think I’ll be taking the younger kids though – too many monsters. Hey, is it me or does the creepy leader of the Golden Army look like Tom Cruise? Del Toro’s next project is a little film called “The Hobbit”. I can’t wait.

4. The Dark Knight. Opens 7/18/08. This is the one to watch. If anything could face Iron Man for the Number One spot – this is it. The cast is impeccable. The filmmakers get it. This is THE BATMAN on the silver screen and opening night is a given.

5. The X-Files: I Want to Believe. Opens 7/24/08. Mulder & Scully together again? Yeah – I’m there. This is a golden opportunity for Chris Carter and fans to pretend that the last season of X-Files (TV) didn’t happen. Will this be the beginning of a film franchise? I hope so – I want to believe that will be the case.

6. The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor. Opens 8/1/08. This looks like a good bookend to the summer movie season. It occupies an August opening and while that is not necessarily a harbinger of doom it shows that the studio strategically placed it here – the end of the summer, so that it didn’t have to compete with the big guns. It will do well and it will sell popcorn. The trailer looks better than I thought it would be and I just might have to check it out.

7. The Clone Wars. Opens 8/15/08. This too occupies an August opening but this one’s a little different; “The Clone Wars” almost wasn’t a movie at all; it was designed to be an animated TV show (and it will lead to an animation series that will kick off sometime in the fall). The story goes like this (thank you Wikipedia): upon seeing a few episodes on the big screen Lucas said, “"This is so beautiful, why don't we just go and use the crew and make a feature?" Hey – why not? It’s Star Wars on the big screen once more. I’m there.

So there you have it, the shape of things to come. Can the Christmas movie season be that far behind? Oh no, Gentle Reader… oh no. I sense visits from Bond and Potter in the future…

See you at the multiplex!

Friday, June 27, 2008

Zimbabwe “Elections”


Note: Reader beware, the subject matter is disturbing. You just might want to skip to the next blog entry.

I do not talk about work here. That being said this one is really not about work but it was at work that the tale unfolded. I was at a field visit and while I was there someone was watching the movie “Blood Diamond”. I know the gist of it but I still have not seen it.

“This movie is about where I come from.” The woman told me.

“Really?” I asked.

“Yes.” She said. “It is so bad there.”

“I know that there are some real scary things happening in Zimbabwe right now.” I said.

“Yes, there are.” She said. “The movie is nothing.”

“Nothing?”

“It is nothing compared to the reality. There if you are among the opposition they will ask you a simple question.”

“Really, what’s that?” I asked.

“Long sleeves or short sleeves?”

"What does that mean?" I asked.

“That is what they ask you if you are only going to have your hands cut off or both of your arms.” She said.

Wow.

We live so sheltered here in the good old U.S. of A. Oh we might hear about some random atrocity here or there but once it’s reported we go straight back to whatever Paris Hilton is wearing or how many times Lindsey Lowhan is in rehab.

Please see: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080627/ap_on_re_af/zimbabwe_157. Systematic rape and genocide are the norm here. Butchery is as random there as is finding a penny heads up here in America. Please do not kid yourself, this happens ALL the time. Man’s inhumanity to man and the depths that we will repeatedly go to in the name of power or control, never cease to amaze me. The president’s opposition during this election, Mr. Morgan Tsvangirani, had to seek sanctuary in the Dutch Embassy and, I believe, he is now out of the country. …Hey, it’s hard to loose when yours is the only name on the ballot.

Disgusting.

What can be done? Unfortunately, I really don’t know. Cross your fingers and whisper a prayer for those who deserve to be remembered.

...And the GEEK Shall Inherit the Earth


I’m a firm believer in the truth of that statement. Today, 6/27/08, Mr. Bill Gates stepped down from being the chairman for Microsoft. He will take a part time position with the company and dedicate his full time to running the myriad charities that he and his wife, Melinda support (see: http://www.gatesfoundation.org/default.htm). It’s good work but still Mr. Gates was, understandably, a little weepy at his last press conference as CEO this afternoon.

You know, love him or hate him you’ve got to recognize the fact that this man, literally, changed the world. He had a vision; a dream that spoke to him and told him that every home would eventually have a personal computer in it. He produced the operating system, by hook or by crook, and now Microsoft is a household staple. Windows has become the business standard (something that IBM should have recognized all those many years ago – that ship has sailed; the world has moved on). Oh sure Apple is alive and well, thank you very much but when the prevailing winds from the computer storms blow it fills the sails of Microsoft first.

If you get the chance, Gentle Reader, please track down a copy of the TV movie, “The Pirates of Silicon Valley” (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0168122/), as is mentioned in the dialogue of the film, “this stuff should be taught in schools”. Very interesting viewing when one considers all that has happened since Jobs and Wazniack constructed a computer in the garage and Gates found a way for them all (computers, that is) to talk to each other and do whatever it is that we want them to do. Put it in your Blockbuster or Netflix cue; gather the kids and family together for a history lesson masked in the guise of entertainment. Yes it is recent history but, lest their be no doubt, it changed the world.

All the best in your semi-retirement Mr. Gates; I sincerely wish you the best in your future endeavors.

Friday, June 20, 2008

Great Expectations


“Say, I’ve got an idea!” the sophomore exclaimed. Her book bag slung over one shoulder as she stood next to the lockers of her high school. It was between classes and a group of about a half dozen girls was gathered listening to their leader.

“Really?” acknowledged one of her girlfriends.

“Yeah what?” asked another a smile spreading across her face.

“Ok… let’s all make a promise to each other to get pregnant and have our babies together!”

“YEAH! What a great idea!” one said. They began to giggle and bounce up and down at the announcement. Kind of like the excitement they felt when they got those tickets to the Jonas Brother’s concert last month.

“…I’m sure we’ll be friends forever…”

Yeah – me too. Behold: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080620/ap_on_re_us/pregnancy_pact_13. Truth is stranger – yadda, yadda, yadda.

These kids have no clue. I do not care how “well reasoned” they believe their pact to be all the possibilities – all the great expectations of their futures are now on serious hold or just gone. Someday these children are going to realize that babies are not puppies or kittens. Someday. Of course by that time their parents will be raising their own grandchildren while the girls in the pregnancy pact will be starting to wonder just where all their friends went. There will still be much to consider for the new moms, after all the junior mid-terms will be coming up, a prom might be in some of their futures and, of course, the Jonas Brothers just might be returning to a concert stage somewhere nearby.

Somewhere a poor fishing community got a little poorer.

Monday, June 16, 2008

Stan Winston


You know, I’m getting pretty sick and tired writing about people who have passed on. I would like to take a break from said work but I would most certainly be remiss if I did not mention Mr. Stan Winston – a modern day wizard and artisan has fallen.

As a movie geek this hits me very close to where I live. Stan Winston was one of the men that I used to read about in Starlog Magazine back in the seventies and eighties. He was a magician and his medium was the fantastic – it was film. If you are not familiar with his body of work please see this write up from Aint It Cool News: http://www.aintitcool.com/node/37106 or click here: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0935644/, to see his credits from IMDB or here: http://www.hollywood.com/celebrity/Stan_Winston/197008, for another overview of his career.

Can you see the Terminator Endoskeleton in your mind’s eye? That was Stan Winston. The Aliens from Aliens? Mr. Winston. Those dinosaurs from Jurassic Parks I, II and III? All Stan. The man was a wizard. Iron Man? Yeah, that was him too. During the course of his career he earned four Oscars and was nominated for nine. He was a film pioneer who loved what he did and influenced generations of filmmakers and dazzled millions of moviegoers everywhere.

Some holes just don’t get filled easily. Mr. Winston has left a big one. My prayers are with his family and friends at this time.

Thanks Mr. Winston. Godspeed.

Update: Please see this ever growing piece by contributors Cameron, Favreau, Darabont, Dante, Baker and others. The article is hosted by Harry from Ain’t It Cool News; check it out here: http://www.aintitcool.com/node/37109.

Update II (6/22/08): Once more; http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080623/ap_en_mo/stan_winston_memorial_2.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Tim Russert


I was camping this weekend and learned second hand that Tim Russert has passed away. I was not near my computer so please forgive the lateness of this particular entry. Here is MSNBC’s coverage: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/25145431/.

And now a small word about popular morning news programs namely ABC’s, “Good Morning America” and NBC’s, “Today Show”. For all intents and purposes that’s it for the big three networks – CBS has a morning show too but historically (or at least for the last 40 years) the program, in whatever incarnation it reinvents itself to be, trails far behind the others. Yes, for pop news shows in the morning it boils down to ABC and NBC. Both of them have headline and entertainment news and boatloads of fluff. While getting ready for work in the mornings for my Monday through Friday grind I watch for the weather forecast, to see which parts of the world are on fire, and to become, at least for a little bit, a little better informed.

But there is so much fluff to shovel. I do not blame the media completely for this – they are just giving the people what they want; which is capitalistic journalism. We, collectively, want to be entertained, in some cases, more so than we want to become informed. That’s why you see “Muffy the Water-Skiing Dog” or “What’s Brittany Doing Now?” right next to the economy, the obscene price of gas or the wars in Iraq or Afghanistan. There’s a lot to sift through in the free American news media today – the morning rush most of all. Because of this fluff cutting (and no, that is not a euphemism for passing gas) over the years I have switched allegiances from “Good Morning America” to the “Today Show”. Oh sure there is fluff to sort through but the hosts do not appear as fake and as plastic as ABC’s do. I have a hard time watching phony people deliver phony news. It is irritating.

Enter the “Today Show”. This is where I first became aware of Mr. Tim Russert. Russet had a passion for politics that was not faked or phony – he loved what he did and that passion spilled over into the segments that he appeared. I’ve never watched “Meet the Press”, the show that he has hosted for the last “16 plus years” (thank you Wikipedia), but, as a casual viewer who was doing other things on Sunday mornings I always missed it. On the “Today Show”, however, I had the opportunity to see him come to life during the Democratic nomination bid between Obama and Clinton and it was a joy to behold. He and Matt Lauer would have discussions and you could feel the radiant excitement that Russert was exuding. It was fun to watch and it was informative. Russert’s passion was contagious.

My prayers go out to his family and friends at this time. Some people you just don’t replace as easily as others. Tim Russert was one of those people.

Godspeed.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

While Mowing the Lawn


I don’t know if you have a lawn or not Gentle Reader but I happen to have one. I don’t like it. Oh sure, it’s nice once it’s mowed but as sure as the tides, it just keeps growing; which means I just keep mowing. It is an endless cycle.

I think that I’d prefer ivy. You don’t have to mow ivy. I haven’t told Mother Hen this yet but a friend of mine from work has scored me a bucket full. She tells me that all I have to do is pick it up, plant it and water it.

“Water it?” I asked.

“Yeah, water it. It’s a plant – it needs water at least when it’s starting out.”

“…Right.” It’s gardening tips such as this that continue to elude me. Well, until I pick up the stuff I’m mowing. Tonight I had several things swishing around my neuro-passageways and, for your reading pleasure (and so I can put my wacky thoughts down somewhere) I’m putting them right here in this blog. …Well, not all of them, my mind can go to some pretty strange and (at least for yours truly) wonderful places. What can I say; some things are better left unsaid – it’ll let you still maintain the idea that I have a modicum of sanity and it will let me preserve a modicum of decorum.

Since that is the case, here are my censored thoughts that I had while mowing the lawn.

1. I hate grass. There really seems to be no reason for the stuff. I began to make plans (once again) to take (since ‘steal’ is such a bad word) one of those signs on Route 55 (a “major” road way here in the Swamps of Jersey) that reads, “Weeping Love Grass: Do Not Mow”. Now I don’t know what that person was paid for coming up with such a statement – such an inspired thought, but clearly, they are not being paid enough. In one fell swoop it is now OK to let the grass grow, the taxpayers are happy (since they don’t have to shell out the salary, equipment fees and gas cost for cutting the grass), and it pleases the environmentalists. Pure genius.

2. Mother Hen – for amazing reasons that I will not go into here.

3. My brood, Bad Wolf, Chicken Beta and Chicken Little. I began thinking of their futures and how much I would like to be around to be the COOL Grandfather and/or Pop Pop. Not to sound boastful or not humble or proud – trust me, I will be the COOL Grandfather and/or Pop Pop; come to think of it Mother Hen will be the COOL Grandmother and/or Mom Mom. What can I say? It’s what we do. This line of thinking made me consider the future. Bad Wolf if now 15. She’s a great kid and I’m wicked proud of her. For some reason I started comparing our ages. I was 21 when I got married. That is 6 years from now. Gentle Reader let me just say this made me stop pushing the dreaded lawn mower and look towards my house. Six years difference. Using my x-ray vision I could see that my children were all safe and happy and poking around on the internet and playing the Nintendo Wii but still… SIX YEARS until she (my oldest) is 21 – the same age I was when I got married to Mother Hen. Wow. Who are in my mind prospective suitors? Hmm… There was one boy who offered to donate blood to her a few years ago for her spinal surgery. Yeah, he’s a keeper. Then there was that one boy who she has a mutual love of videogames with… I don’t know. I do know what I tell my daughters when it comes to seeking and/or identifying your partner in life; I tell them, “One, they’ve got to love the Lord; and Two, they’ve got to love YOU”. That’s it. Nothing more. I don’t care about any of the other trappings. I also follow it up with saying to them, “Enjoy each other's company for a couple of years after you are married. But, when the time is right, give us many grandbabies.” Thank you very much.

4. Man, I hate grass.

5. I was at a funeral for a girl that I would have graduated with but she moved away in our junior year and was hit by a drunk driver while waiting at an intersection. I think of her from time to time. I remember her father saying to me at her funeral, “You were special to her… you were special.” Dear God, I can only imagine that pain – that loss. She was special too. I don’t know why she slipped into my thoughts but she did.

6. Samurai swords. Perhaps a Samurai sword would aid me with yard work? There are a couple of limbs and stickers that could use a mighty flash of cold steel. The rebellious hedges need to be brought back into line and walking the path of the Samurai while working on my lawn may just be what the doctor ordered.

7. I’m going to have to invest in some more gas soon. Five bucks just doesn’t buy the same amount of juice as it used to.

8. “The Incredible Hulk”. The film comes out tomorrow and I’m more jazzed then I thought I would be. Ang Lee’s “The Hulk” was hideous. There is more chemistry in a glass of lemon aid then there was between the lead actors; the story was choppy and Lee had absolutely no idea who the character was or any respect for the forty plus years of comic history that, as a steward, was placed into his hands. There is no excuse for that. So why am I interested? This is the second film that MARVEL is in complete control of the project. The first was “Iron Man” and that has become one of the finest superhero movies ever made. Add the idea that Robert Downey Jr. has a cameo as Tony Stark and Marvel has made me make me want to hand over the money in my wallet once more. I have a sneaky feeling that they are girding up for an absolutely amazing “Ultimates” (Avengers movie). Take it from me, True Believers – this is one geek who will be there opening night. Make Mine Marvel!

9. The ivy will be an improvement in the front. I’m going to start at the mailbox and see what happens from there. It will still be green AND it should kill the grass! Yeah BAY BEE!

10. Man, for a small lawn this thing takes a long time to mow.

And that was it; I was done for another week. So there you have it, a peek into my psyche while I mow. Still all that remains is the grass; I have no illusions though… I know that it will be back. For as much as I love spring and summer I really don’t like cutting the grass. Oh well, what’s a boy to do?

Plant some ivy I guess.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

The Moment of Truth


So have you seen the TV show on FOX? You know the one with the people who are willing to sell their souls to the network for the possibility of earning some amount of money and / or a moment of national attention – the one with the mental patients who want to be exploited for fun and profit?

Man, it’s wonderful to see what passes for entertainment these days. Perhaps a better question, or topic, would have been, “Have You Ever Seen the Movie Idiocracy”? IMDB has listed the film’s plot as, “Private Joe Bauers, the definition of "average American", is selected by the Pentagon to be the guinea pig for a top-secret hibernation program. Forgotten, he awakes 500 years in the future. He discovers a society so incredibly dumbed-down that he's easily the most intelligent person alive.” The film is not the greatest movie ever made but it does bring up some very interesting (and by ‘interesting’ I mean scary) implications for the future and, dare I say, even for right NOW. The film is by Mike Judge, the same guy who was responsible for “Beavis and Butt-Head”, “King of the Hill”, and the cult hit, “Office Space”. During the movie one of the game shows in the future is a program called, “Oww, My Balls!” which is a show where the host is repeatedly and via more and more strange and odd circumstances hit in his groin. Barbaric? It’s the number one show in the future.

Let’s fast forward to the reality of now. “The Moment of Truth” is one of the highest rated shows on FOX. Barbaric? You bet, but you know, I don’t think that Mr. Mike Judge was really that far off with his theory of the future.

Gentle Reader, the future is now.

Sunday, June 08, 2008

We’re Back and Extra Crispy

Please allow me to preface this by saying; we (the EC-5) love camping down on Assateague Island with the wild ponies. We do it every year and if you haven’t yet done so, you should. We have camped up and down the eastern seaboard and it’s a great (and relatively cheap) way to see the countryside with the family. Seeing what’s going on at Assateague Island is no different.

Every year around Father’s Day, we and several other like minded individuals make the trip down to Maryland for a big bonfire on the beach. It’s a blast – and this year was no different save for the fact that 3 out of 5 of the EC-5 (my family) are sick and we are all (to one extent or another) now sunburned. Unfortunately the baby, Chicken Little got the worst of the sun. For the life of me I don’t know how since I kept lubing her and the rest of the kids up all the while their mother (Mother Hen) was Geocaching in Chincoteague. The poor kid is now sleeping in air conditioning and she’s glowing. Come to think of it, 4 out of 5 of us are – only Mother Hen does not share our fate; she escaped it by caching and not going to the beach. Such is life; you see, we love the ocean. We love the waves. I grew up outside of Wildwood, New Jersey and I can easily go on record and say that the waves on Assateague are much nicer (and by nicer I mean bigger, more successive and, in some cases, more violent). I’m a big guy and some of those waves will roll me easily – big time. Please don’t let me give you the wrong impression, I’m no surfer but I can tell you what it’s like to be pushed to the bottom of an eight foot wave.

Ouch.

Pryor to the scalding from our home sun, we took a canoe trip in the back bay with about 20 other friends. It was a blast and a half. If you’re down that way pay the $15.00 entrance fee (it’s good for 7 days) into the federal side of the island and rent yourself a kayak or a canoe. We were in two canoes, got real close to a couple of herds of wild ponies. The water in the bay isn’t as deep as one would expect and if one were to capsize all you would have to do is stand up and drain you boat; too much fun. They also rent clamming rakes so you can collect your own appetizer for your evening meal. Nice – hey, everything’s better with Old Bay and butter.

We made everyone as comfortable as possible and enjoyed the bonfire to the best of our ability. A friend of ours by the name of Silent Dave had procured a cross section of a hollowed out tree which burned all night long; simply amazing.

There was a group heading into Ocean City, Maryland today (to escape the heat) but we bailed. Three out of five of us were in no condition to continue. Chicken Beta was throwing up, as were Mother Hen and Chicken Little, as previously stated, was/is extra crispy and could not effectively move. That’s three members down. The math didn’t add up so we came home early. I had the three sick ones sitting in our Ford Explorer in the air conditioning while Bad Wolf and I broke camp.

God Bless my first child. She rocks out loud. The process would have been much longer without her.

Of our friends, most stayed; we and a few others bailed on account of sickness, the sun, or because of the Dreaded Monday Morning. I thank them all – each and every one, for another unforgettable time on Assateague Island. Yes we were bested by the fates this time but next time? Well, that’ll be a different story all together.

…We shall return…

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

So, Is This Legal?

Happy Election Day – sort of. If you are living in New Jersey I hope you voted. I don’t care how you voted I just hope that you did so since I don’t believe you have much room to complain about the “powers that be” if you don’t participate in the process of "democracy". I am neither a republican nor a democrat and to yours truly, both of the grand old parties are all just a part of the same machine. Well, today I had the unusual and unique opportunity to see the machine in action. I thought that I would pass along the tale to YOU Gentle Reader so that I could ask and gage to see if what I saw and heard was / is legal or not.

Here is what happened. Two co-workers and myself stop into a deli before accomplishing a work related task that was set before us (I’d go into greater detail but I make a point to not discuss work here at Evil Chicken Scratch. You’ll have to wait for the novel). It’s about 11:40 AM and I notice that there seems to be a lot of people hanging around the place, to be more precise there was a large amount of Latino patrons hanging around the place. One guy had a great Spiderman club shirt that I was going to compliment him on but the sandwich that I ordered was calling my name. A politician came through the crowd and entered into (I kid you not) the back room where everyone was congregating. From my seat I could see the whole thing. He was polished in a nice shirt and tie and wearing fine tailored pants. There was quite a nice spread too; sandwiches of all shapes and sizes and buckets of coleslaw, potato & macaroni salad took up the whole area where the stage is located. There were bumper stickers and buttons for the candidate in question and thick manila envelopes were being passed out to the crowd of about 30 people.

“Ok, today the person who gets the most amount of people out to vote wins $500.00! The person that gets the second largest amount gets $250.00!” he announced. The crowd reacted with a quick but heartfelt smattering of applause.

“Is that legal?” I asked my coworkers.

“Politics? Unfortunately, yes.”

“No really, can he do that?” I asked again.

“I’m not sure.”

“Me neither.” I said grabbing my large cup of Black Satin coffee. I needed to hit the cream and sweetener station. I ran into one of the owners of the place there and smiled as I asked, “Hey, is this legal?”

He looked at me and smiled nervously; “…Yes it is good coffee.” And he shuffled away from where I stood. I looked over at the politician and our eyes met. He quickly turned back to his audience as I grabbed my three Splendas and my shot of half and half and headed back to our table.

“Enjoy the food.” The politician said. Some did and some didn’t. Those that did not were apparently hoping to grab a piece of that $500.00 prize. Hey, the early bird gets the worm. The politician put on a designer pair of dark glasses.

“He’s leaving.” I said. “Now whether it’s through the back door or the front door is still up for grabs.”

One of my co-workers glanced over her shoulder. That’s XXX.” She said.

“Really?” I said.

“Yep.” She said. I will not go into detail on the where’s and why’s she would know but, let’s just take it as a given, she knows. He walked passed our table as workers replenished the food that was eaten from the buffet.

“It looks like they are going to have another round of people come through here.” One of my co-workers said.

“Yeah, no doubt.” My other co-worker said.

I started humming the “Mission Impossible” theme. “I’ll be right back.”

“Where are you going?”

“To the bathroom. It’s not my fault that the bathroom happens to be past the back room.” I said.

“We’ll meet you in the van.”

I passed my coffee to one of my friends and thanked her for holding onto it. Off to the bathroom I went. On my way there I couldn’t help but notice the bumper stickers, buttons and manila envelopes scattered throughout the room. I made a mental note of where the buttons were, where the only two people in the room were and of the buffet.

…What can I say I love a buffet.

After using the facilities I decided to abscond with (not steal because stealing would be bad) a button. I needed to know who was selling whom. I smiled at the couple enjoying their sandwiches (they were engrossed in a deep political conversation), went to the table with the propaganda and took a button. I quickly stuck it into my right front pocket and exited the establishment giving my compliments to the fine hands that had crafted our sandwiches.

As I approached our van I flashed the button. My co-workers began to giggle, as did I. NOW I am pondering was what we, three humble servants during a half-lunch break, saw legal or not.

After getting home I relayed the experience to a paralegal I am well acquainted with. I will hold what she suggested in strict confidence until I hear from YOU Gentle Reader.

So… was it legal?

Monday, June 02, 2008

"May You Live In Interesting Times…"


That famed “Chinese Curse” that the Chinese never really said. Even if the authenticity of its origins is questionable the weight of the “curse” is undeniable; may you live in interesting times. Gentle Reader, lest there be no doubt, these are interesting times.

“How so?”

Once more, that is a very good question, Gentle Reader and, dare I say, something that I would ask myself if posed such a question. What do you say we check out some of the headlines for the last 24 hours or so, hmmmm? …Now lets see here… ignoring the wars and elections…

Bo Diddley passed away at the age of 79 (see: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080603/ap_en_ce/obit_diddley_10). “Who?” You may not know him but you know the sound that he created. With a homemade rectangular guitar he introduced a new rhythm, a new music to the world – it was called “Rock and Roll”. He died surrounded by his family at his home in Florida.

Ted Kennedy was operated on for a malignant brain tumor. Putting politics aside I know exactly where he and his family are right now. I pray that all goes well with his recovery and that the doctors are able to “get it all”. Cancer is a hell of a disease that simply does not care who you are or whatever it is you do or have done or haven’t done with your time here; it just grows and spreads. I truly wish him and his the best with the radiation and chemotherapy treatments that will follow. What more can I say? God bless.

Universal Studios was on fire. Two city blocks worth of movie sets including the New York and New England street sets are gone. To put that in perspective Ralphie’s town from “A Christmas Story”, Marty McFly’s town from “Back to the Future” and Spiderman’s New York have all just turned to ash. I realize that it will be built again and I am pleased that there has been no one hurt and no loss of life but the film history that just went up in smoke is somewhat – for lack of a better word; sad. These sets have appeared in countless films and television programs. From what I understand the television archive was burning too. This particular archive was where they stored copies of the original master prints and those prints are safe. Universal needs a better plan for times such as this. I hear that this is the seventh fire since 1916 (?).

In what can only be seen as a sign of the End Times, “Sex and the City” beat out “Indiana Jones” at the multiplex this past weekend. What kind of a world are we living in?

Then there is the tale of my almost accident. I was almost in a head on collision after church on Sunday. A gentleman in a blue pickup truck decided that he was tired of driving on the right side of the road and decided to head directly for me while I was waiting at a stop sign. He missed me by about a foot and a half, put his truck in reverse and began blaming me for our near collision.

“You know they have these octagonal things that you are supposed to stop at.” He said. The fact that he was speeding, had passed a solid line, and was clearly in my lane escaped him in his mission to assign blame anywhere else than where it needed to be placed.

“Really? You know, they’ve also got these things…” as I began to reply my eyes caught the Ixthis fish carabineer that I have hanging from my rear view mirror and the words of the Sunday morning message began to resonate in my ears “You are the only church some people ever see”. It’s somewhat of a shame too since I really had some pretty good material to choose from – I could have gone with the speeding or the crossing on a solid line thing, but what I really had my sights on was the whole wrong lane thing. I could hear myself mentioning the fact that while choosing the left lane is perfectly acceptable in the Bahamas or Jolly Ole’ England it is frowned upon here stateside. But I did not.

“Yeah?” he asked.

“…Stay safe.” I said. That was it, nothing more, nothing less. He drove off one way and I the other; just another tiny blip in a sting of interesting events.

Here’s hoping that things get a little less interesting in the next 24 hours.