The Naked Hikers

We paid a visit to our friends in North Jersey this weekend. Here’s the write up of what I submitted for our log at Geocaching.com / Big Green…

Listen… I’m not one to tell tales out of sort but something that happened to us, the EC-5 (well @ least two out of five of us – Mother Hen and yours truly) this weekend that just keeps playing out in my mind. Being from South Jersey it’s really easy to get back to nature in the woods and to get lost from the sights and sounds of a more heavily trafficked area such as where we were caching on Sunday, the first day of April. Mother Hen handles the lion’s share of our posts – wherever they may happen to appear; Big Green, SJG, SEPAG, NNJC – usually Mother Hen. Not for this one – no, not this time.

“Why is that?” you may ask; and that would be a fine question by the way. You North Jersey cachers are an astute lot; I love you guys so I’ll tell you. Before showing up at the “Pant’s on Fire” event at Ruby Tuesdays we happened to do a spot of caching. For the life of me I can’t remember what the name of the cache is (you’d have to ask MH) but it was a snatch and grab off of the parkway about ten or so miles before the Lincoln Tunnel. We pulled over at the suggested parking coordinates, I donned my cache bag and MH her hat (just in case of rain. It was a little overcast) and down the trail we went. Now if you’ll recall gentle reader, we are from the Swamps of South Jersey and not used to too much metropolitan caching. We were down the trail – oh, I’d say about a tenth of a mile and we could still hum of the tires of the vehicles on the parkway. No big - hey this is North East Jersey; it’s to be expected. Anyway, we’re walking along, MH with our trusty Garmin in hand and I ambling along next to her when we come over this hill and, to our surprise, there’s these two hikers one male and one female both wearing Tilley Hats, high end hiking boots and NOTHING ELSE. Gentle reader, when I say “NOTHING ELSE” I mean it in the truest and most accurate sense of the words. Nothing else.

“Whoa!” I said. With the utmost in tact and decorum, I might add. Mother Hen’s eyebrows raised as her jaw dropped.

“Hey, how’s it goin’?” Naked Guy asked.

“Pretty good…” I said. “…Say, I couldn’t help but notice the two of you are buck naked – is everything ok?”

The Naked Gal started to giggle and stepped forward. “Why I knew that there was something we forgot to pack.” This made Naked Guy chuckle. Mother Hen and I took a quick look at each other – just to make sure that we were on the same page. We were.

“XXXX and I” (note Gentle Reader, due to decorum I will not be naming names as to who the two hikers were – sorry) are on our daily Natural Hike.” Naked Guy nodded his head in agreement.

“Don’t you mean Nature Hike?” Mother Hen asked.

“No. Natural Hike.” Naked guy said. No sooner had these words escaped his mouth he began stretching as if he were warming up for the Boston Marathon.

“You see, a Natural Hike is where we free ourselves from the confines of unnatural materials and become one with nature.” Naked Gal said.

“Yeah.” Naked Guy responded looking up from touching his toes.

“It is so freeing…” Naked Gal said as she began her stretching exercises.

“I can see that.” I said. All of the sudden I felt this stinging on my bald spot. I heard the SMACK! a moment later. Mother Hen was not appreciating the benefits of stretching before one exercises.

“So what about thorns?” Mother Hen asked.

“What about them?” Naked Guy said standing from his hamstring stretch.

“Don’t they hit… sensitive areas?”

“It is always important to tread lightly whether you have clothes on or not.” Naked Gal said looking up from her toe touches.

“Yeah… I see what you mean…” I said.

SMACK!

So there you have it. We exchanged web addresses (it’s amazing what those Tilley Hats can hold), said our good byes and watched them hike past us on their way to parts unknown. Yet another wonderful adventure that Geocaching has brought into our lives. You just don’t know when you’re going to meet a kindred spirit out there on the trails. As it turns out the four of us are meeting in the same park next weekend for a four-mile Natural Hike.

Does anyone know what the extended forecast is for next Saturday? I sure hope it’s not gonna be too cold.

The Snake Plissken Memorial Playground Project

I love Ain’t It Cool News. Harry & Co. are a lot of fun to read and to get my daily geek injection. Now, I know that it is remarkably close to April Fools Day, but this story has an odd sense of truth to it.

Here’s the original story from AICN: http://www.aintitcool.com/node/32089

Here’s the site for the “Snake Plissken Memorial Playground Project”: http://www.snakeplisskenmemorialplayground.com/

AND here’s the My Space site: http://www.myspace.com/spmp

It sounds weird enough to be true.

In other Plissken news; Gerard Butler (King Leonidas from 300) has signed on for the “Escape from New York” remake. While I’m sure Butler will do a great job, the movie will be a hoot and make a wheelbarrow full of cash, I have always hoped that Kurt Russell would be back as Snake for at least one more film. Also words like “remake” or “re-imagining” almost always send ice water down my spine. Still… with this property, which is near and dear to my beating geek heart, I will be there opening night – no doubt.

See you at the playground!

But Does It Float?

Unique homes are all over the place. I happen to have a thing for water; playing in it, being near it, yadda yadda… I suppose that it’s only natural that the majority of the following homes have something to do with water. I’ve always thought that living on board a boat; sail, barge or other would be a freeing experience. Let’s face it; if things got too hot in one port of call all one would have to do is quietly slip out of the harbor only taking fond memories with you. Nice. Don’t like the neighbors? Sail away. The view is too boring? Change it – the world is truly your picture window.

As a Parrothead I knew that the “Cosmic Muffin” existed in the world somewhere. The famed rocket ship that Desdemona piloted around the Caribbean in search of “Joe Merchant”. Well… Behold. The stories are true: http://unusuallife.com/2007/03/18/desdemonas-rocket-ship-the-cosmic-muffin/. Be the first on your block to live in a ex-plane boat.

Stiltsville Miami in the middle of Biscane Bay. The homes are now part of the National Parks Service but lest there be no doubt, that was pretty cool. Check it: http://www.stiltsville.org/pages/history.html

Not too shabby. A small island in the Keys for only 1.2 million! Rancho Del Evil Chicken? (See it here: http://fkren.com/residential.cfm?houseid=1475)

Frank Lloyd Wright designed this little fixer-upper entitled, “Falling Water”. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fallingwater It’s a museum these days but it was once a private residence.

Of course the Dutch Barge is always an option. These are huge in Europe; I’d love to give one a spin for a year or so. http://www.barging.co.uk/index.htm

Alas, once more gentle reader; if wishes were horses then beggars would ride. Pretty neat ideas though…

“Pirates of the Caribbean – At World’s End” Trailer is Live!

Aye Lads & Lasses, have ye seen this?

http://playlist.yahoo.com/makeplaylist.dll?id=1564047&sdm=web&qtw=480&qth=300

Well, feast yer eyes.

I can’t wait for this movie. I’m having geek spasms. I’ll be away at GeoWoodstock in North Carolina but I’ll be seeking out a theater via Fandango…

Aye, mark me words lads and lasses. Mark me words.

More Than a Feeling

Gentle reader; please allow me to take you back to the summer of 1977. I spent the majority of this summer camping at “The Old Stagecoach Campground”. Yes – I will admit to enjoying to this experience. We slept in a tent and an ancient pop up camper (circa world war I). We had electricity and water on site. Not too shabby. My dad even set up a refrigerator under our rain fly, yep – very fancy. I remember riding my banana seated Schwinn through clouds of DDT, which was dispersed via a “fog machine”, pulled by a tractor around the campground. The theory was that the fog would kill the mosquitoes. I can neither confirm nor deny that any of the blasted blood suckers were killed or not but I can say that DDT tastes pretty bad.

I absolutely loved my existence there at the campground; swimming, crabbing, playing pinball & pool, buying & reading comic books and listening to the jukebox in the game room. Good times. Rod Stewart’s “If You Think I’m Sexy” {as if I had any idea what the song was about at the time}, K.C. & the Sunshine Band’s, “ That’s the Way (I Like It), Stevie Wonder’s “Sir Duke”, George Harrison’s, “Blow Away”, Boz Scaggs, “Ledo Shuffle” and Boston’s “More Than a Feeling” were songs, that for one reason or another, spoke to me. I hope that makes sense – it’s true… they spoke to me. Those tunes are imprinted onto my organic MP3 player. It’s history – both the bands who recorded them and mine.

I especially love the band, Boston. There’s just this righteous, justified, power chord quality to their music. Tom Scholz is primarily responsible for the sound but it never would have happened if not for Brad Delp, the lead singer for the band. This being said, Mr. Brad Delp, passed away on March 9, ’07. He was only 55 years old. He was a part of my development – my growth. Bottom line. My thoughts and prayers go out to his family and friends.

Thank you for the music.

"300"

Go see it. Mother Hen & I caught it on Friday and it is worth the price of admission.

…Unlike “Ghostrider” which you can wait for cable to see.

Boldly Going Again

Star Trek 11 is an official go. Click this for the Full Monty… http://www.startrek.com/startrek/view/news/article/45415.html?page=1 . Needless to say Christmas Day of 2008, after opening the presents and digesting the turkey I believe a trip to the local multiplex may be in order.

Abrams said, “If there's something I'm dying to see, it's the brilliance and optimism of Roddenberry's world brought back to the big screen. Alex and Bob wrote an amazing script that embraces and respects Trek canon, but charts its own course. Our goal is to make a picture for everyone — life-long fans and the uninitiated. Needless to say, I am honored and excited to be part of this next chapter of Star Trek.”

Amen. That is what has been missing from Trek for the last ten years.

WARNING: before you read this blog entry any further; 1.) You will need to understand and care about the basics. Trek 101 is a prerequisite. 2.) There are spoilers here lads and lasses. Ye’ve been warned.

Still here, gentle reader?

While any new Star Trek will always catch my weary geek eyes; there hasn’t been a decent Star Trek movie since “Star Trek – First Contact” (Star Trek VIII, 1996) and J.J. Abrams will be fighting an uphill battle to win back ground that has been lost. Abrams has a story and a direction that will “embraces and respects Trek cannon.” As well it should. When one creates a universe one is also bound to the history that exists there. To muck about is sloppy storytelling. When I first heard about a young Kirk and Spock at Starfleet Academy I was skeptical but it sounds like Abrams is going about it the right way. Trek 11 is a go.

What about Trek 12? Abrams has not called me concerning what direction the Trek after this one, Star Trek 12, will take. When he does here is what I’m going to tell him. The Next Generation deserves a big screen send off. You cannot leave such a well-written & realized property to languish as they have been. “Star Trek Nemesis” (Trek 10) ran afoul with both old and new audiences. The franchise, the actors and the fans deserve better. In “Evil Chicken’s Trek 12”, “Q” will return. John De Lancie will reprise his role; in fact all of the regulars would. This will include Brent Spiner whose character, Data, died in the last movie and Wil Wheaton whose cameo was cut out of the last flick. Not to boor you gentle reader (although since you have read thus far I can only assume you read and agreed to the WARNING that was posted), but here’s my quick outline for bringing Star Trek back to the masses.

An aged and all too human Data begins appearing at places where the ex-executive staff of the starship Enterprise – D (& E for that matter), has set up shop. The Klingon High Counsel for Ambassador Worf, Earth for Geordie (who has gone into the field of Positronic research by the way), the Enterprise – E since in my movie Riker is the Captain and Troi is still his wife & Ships Counselor and to Duridian II, where we find Beverly Crusher and Jean-Luc Picard. The two have been married for quite some time but Jean-Luc is suffering from the effects of his Irumodic syndrome and his life is coming to an end. Why Duridian II? I like the sound of the name. Any way, Data who is now resurrected and human is the harbinger of Q. Data, for some reason, has to give his life to revive Picard. Why? Well, you see, the Q Continuum is about to crush in upon itself and only the crew helmed by Picard can save the day. Picard and company rush to the aid of Q and save the day but in doing so everything returns to how it was at the beginning of the movie. With Picard’s Irumodic Syndrome he is practically a vegetable and under constant care, waiting for the mercy of death. Q offers him another chance to boldly go where no one has gone before – he offers him membership in the Continuum. He accepts and Picard becomes “P” – the latest and destined to be one of the greatest omnipotent beings the universe has to offer. “The Human adventure is just beginning”, would be the tagline – again.

Yeah, good times, good times…

So Mr. Abrams, let me know what you think. Trek 12 is only a few years off – you know it will happen, so if you want to make some magic together just let me know. Please make checks payable to Evil Chicken, Swamps of South Jersey.

Thanks.

Campark & the Mega Millions

Two winning parties will split $390,000,000 – one in Georgia and one in New Jersey. I’m not one of those parties. But one of my old haunts is where the winning NJ ticket was sold; Campark Liquors in Woodbine NJ. Campark has been everything from a convenience store to a sandwich shop but it has always sold lottery tickets. I’ve bought many from them over the years while participating in office pools and such. As I write this blog the winner has not yet come forward which makes a lot of sense. If blessed with such a fortune it would behoove the winner to secure a lawyer and an accountant before sealing the deal, so to speak.

Any way, due to the local proximity in relation to where the ticket was purchased and the fact that a major employer in the area happens to be down the street from Campark, there is a fair to midline chance that I may know the winner – not in a “Hey Evil Chicken let me pay off your mortgage” sort of fashion but in a “Hey, I know that guy / gal!” The workers at Campark are all over the local network affiliates and I’ve seen or know the lot of them. Nice people. The owner of Campark gets a $10,000 check for selling the winning ticket. It turns out that he is going to split the amount between his employees, which is a classy thing to do, by the way.

I wish the winner the best but I do hope that the pot goes to someone who deserves it, needs it and can use it to better more people’s existences than just their own.

You know, I’ve spoken a lot of the lottery most recently (see 2/25/07 entry); take heart gentle reader, I’ll change the topic soon – I promise.

Rainforest Café – Atlantic City

Gentle reader. I didn’t start writing this blog to do what I’m about to do right now… Please forgive me.

Chick 2.0 celebrated a birthday yesterday so after a trip to the zoo we ended up at the “Rainforest Café” in Atlantic City – pretty cool, no? You bet. It’s on the boardwalk and part of the “Trump Plaza” property. Hey we were down in Orlando and had a blast at that one and those “Volcano” cakes are pretty cool – no doubt. Why not take Chick 2.0 and her siblings to mark the day?

For those of you who don’t know, the “Rainforest Café” is a theme restaurant that looks like a jungle. Every 15 minutes or so the jungle comes to life. Animatronic gorillas, elephants, giant butterflies and Mayan gods get into the act. Rain falls and mist rises. Pretty neat. The food is corporate which is to be expected. The AC version of this restaurant is smaller than the one in Orlando FL. The staff is different too. In Orlando they are used to dealing with families on vacation while in AC they are used to dealing with people who have just lost a lot of money at the casinos – usually sans children. Don’t get me wrong – the service was good; I only refer to the overall sense of welcome. Orlando had it, AC doesn’t.

“But why, Evil Chicken, are you upset?” It wasn’t just the service thing. Call me crazy but if I’m spending a hundred bucks on dinner I want to be whistling gleefully at the end of the night. No, gentle reader, that’s not the complete reason that I’m miffed. You see 3 out of 5 members of our family (including the birthday girl) had immediate diarrhea – repeatedly. 1 member was throwing up too.

Yeah, good times.

So, the next time that you’re planning a special night out, it would be my humble recommendation to skip the AC “Rainforest Café” all together and wait until you can go to Orlando. There are other local places to blow a hundred bucks. If you cannot wait, at the very least let the Board of Health complete an inspection first.

See you at McDonald’s.

The 79th Academy Awards – The Day After

I can only take the actual Academy Awards broadcast so much before my skin starts to crawl. It’s not because of the filmmakers – it’s because of all of the trappings that go with the wacky cult of personality. I don’t care what’s in the gift bags of the presenters or whatever Wolfgang Puck is cooking. It’s not core. The full frontal massaging of massive egos wears on my nerves. I care nothing for the ‘red carpet’, fashion or dance numbers. No, all I really care about when it comes the Academy Awards is movies. I care for the storytellers. Theoretically, the AA is voted on by industry people for industry people i.e. peer recognition. I don’t mean to sound completely like whiz and vinegar, it is the Academy Awards and theoretically the 900 lb. Gorilla of the industry; the industry of making movies; of telling stories. I happen to love the movies and have more than a passing interest in who wins. What can I say; I’m a movie geek.

Back on 2/10/07, I made my predictions right here @ Chicken Scratch. Were my picks close? I’ll list the category, who won and my pick. So without further ado here’s the battle Oscar VS. Evil Chicken!

Performance by an actor in a leading role: Who won? – Forrest Whitaker. Who I picked – Peter O’Toole. I thought they’d give it to him since he’s been nominated 8 times and has never taken Oscar home.

Performance by an actor in a supporting role: Who won? – Alan Arkin. Who I picked – Alan Arkin. I got one!

Performance by an actress in a leading role: Who won? – Helen Mirren. Who I picked – Meryl Streep. Oscar’s beating me two to one…

Performance by an actress in a supporting role: Who won? – Jennifer Hudson. Who did I pick? – Jennifer Hudson. She seems like a pretty cool lady ta boot. We’re tied once more Oscar… Come get some.

Best documentatry feature: Who won? – “An Inconvenient Truth”. Who’d I pick? – “An Inconvenient Truth”. EC pulls ahead of Oscar! By the way – the actor that played Al Gore was spot on.

Adapted screenplay: Who won? – “The Departed”. Who did I pick? – “Borat – Cultural learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhastan”. It seems we are tied once more.

Original screenplay: Who won? – “Little Miss Sunshine”. Who’d I pick? – “Letters from Iwa Jima”. Tiebreaker – Oscar takes the lead.

Achievement in directing: Who won? – Martin Scorsese for “The Departed”. Who’d I pick – Clint Eastwood for “Letters From Iwo Jima”. Oscar brings the smack. EC done went and backed the wrong movie icon. Still, how cool was it that Marty finally has one? This guy is a national treasure just like Eastwood.

Best motion picture of the year: Who got it? – “The Departed”. Who’d I say would win? – “Letters From Iwo Jima”. And there we have it; I was soundly trounced by Oscar by a score of 6 to 3. Oscar wins.

I won’t go into the finer details of who won what for the myriad of other categories but I will say I was pretty close with a lot of my picks. I was pleased when “Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest” won for best visual effects and glad that “Pan’s Labyrinth” took home 3 Academy Awards. Yes Oscar beat me this time but I’ll be back again next year. Oh and Oscar… here’s an inconvenient truth for you; “Dreamgirls” should have won for best song.

See you at the multiplex.

The Lottery

You know what? I’m tired of not hitting the lottery. I’ve been trying for years but alas… no luck. Believe me it’s not for lack of trying. The lottery has taken more out of me than I have taken out of it – thus far. Oh I’ve had the occasional scratch off hit but the big one has alluded me. In 1670, John Ray wrote, “If wishes were horses then beggars would ride.” Oh so true. Still, despite overwhelming odds I play when the numbers are high enough. It is important to have a plan for any contingency be it terrorist attack or if the lights go out. Well, here’s my tentative plan for what happens after I, Evil Chicken, happen to hit the lottery.

I’m going cash option. Don’t even tempt me with a 20, 25 or 30-year payout. The only thing that is guaranteed in this life besides death and taxes is change and right NOW. I can do some good in the NOW with the resources that a major lottery win could provide. It’s the future that is sketchy and anything is possible. On the way to cash the check I could be struck by a meteorite or a bus making hitting the lottery pretty much a moot point. Thanks, I’ll take the cash.

I wouldn’t want anyone to know I hit. This is hard. Just for fun let’s say the pot was 200 million (hey if you’re gonna dream why not make it big). So that makes a net of about 100 million dollars. Not too shabby. Still the last thing you want, I would imagine, is anyone finding out. This would force you to change your lifestyle on other’s terms instead of your own. This is why Clark Kent and Peter Parker have secret identities. While they are Kent and Parker – no problem, they blend in; when they fly or start to climb on walls, they don’t blend in so much. Note: this is probably impossible but it would be nice to remain as anonymous.

Taxes. I figure that the Feds and the state will automatically take half of the pot in taxes alone. So whatever the pot may be I divide it in half from Jump Street. Bank on it. Now comes the make or break time. There are many lottery winners who have lost everything due to pride, poor decisions or a mixture of the two.

It’s good to have a plan… no?

Automatically, from the top, the first 10% is going to my church. I also figure that I will have to enlist a lawyer and an accountant since I do not trust myself with such a sum of money. Oh I have ideas on what to do but solid know-how? I’m not the one. There are goals such as being out of debt, having the kids weddings and college funds paid off, as well as, investing (which is nebulous as all get out to yours truly). Hey, that’s what the accountant is for. Under investments there is a movie that I would like to produce, as well as, a film company that I would like to help along the way.

Now then, let’s talk pure, unadulterated selfishness. This is where ‘I wish’ goes to ‘I want.’ Mother Hen and I have always wanted a log home on some acreage with a body of water close by, you know – for kayaking, canoeing and fishing. I want to be able to flip hamburgers on the grill in my underwear and get that full body tan I’ve always wanted so immediate neighbors are not an option. I want the kids to have a bunkroom where they can sleep and play. I would love a huge laundry room – a place where I would never have to worry about throwing clean clothes on the dinning room table to wait to be separated and taken to their respective dressers. Oh yes. The Evil Chicken laundry room would be a wonderful step forward in clothes cleaning technology. There would be a table where I could separate and personalized shelves where I could throw their clothes…

“I don’t have any pants.”

“Check your shelf – I KNOW I just washed some.”

Oh yeah, good times…

The Laundry Room would have a door that could open and close. Amazing. This concept just gives me chills. People could come to our home and not have to see the laundry that I have not put away.

Creepy.

The kitchen would have a working dishwasher. Oh yes, it would. There would be a pantry next to the Laundry Room with a working door too. No fuss, no muss, no dishes in the sink that still have to be cleaned.

Oh yeah. Look (I’m pointing at my arm); I’ve got chills just thinking about it.

You may say, “But Evil Chicken, you’ve just won the lottery, why don’t you hire a maid, cook or personal assistant?” Say… that’s a good question. My answer is “No thanks.” My reasons are twofold. First as Bob Dylan sang, “Did you ever turn around to see the frowns on the jugglers and clowns when they all did tricks for you?” I don’t want anyone in a subservient position in my own home. It’s creepy. Secondly I don’t want to give anyone the ammunition for the eventual tell all book about that “Sick and twisted Evil Chicken.” Gentle reader I will be the one to write that book; thank you very much. Don’t worry – it’ll be coming soon.

But enough about Rancho Del Evil Chicken. Let me tell you about what happens while it’s being built. The EC-5 is going on the road. Yup. We are touring the lower 48 states in an RV while towing a four door Jeep Wrangler; a mothership and shuttlecraft. Don’t worry I’ll write about each adventure. We’ll need to abandon the Mothership to fly over to Hawaii and back but after that it up through British Columbia and on to Alaska. We’ll geocache the whole way. After a good long while in Alaska we’ll tour Canada; push our way east and take the Cat Hydrofoil from Nova Scotia to Bar Harbor Maine. Grab a sunrise from the top of Cadillac Mountain and half dozen lobsters or so and we’re on our way back home. I’ll collect the adventures in a book, watch the kids grow and continue to post our adventures on SJG (South Jersey Geocaching), the Big Green (geocaching.com) and, right here my Chicken Scratch blog. We’ll print tee shirts, “EC-5 American Tour – 2007.”

“What if the log cabin isn’t finished yet?” you ask. Another fine question I might add. Well then it’ll be time for the “EC-5 European Tour – 2008.” We’ll check off the cities that I’ve got listed to the right in “Top 10 Cities Evil Chicken Wants to Visit” – European edition…

Mmmm… Smell the greed. I do. It is important to realize that things are just that – things i.e. material goods or worldly possessions. The BMW that you buy with your lottery winnings is gonna rust and the jewelry? All of it will all tarnish. The electronics and plastic creations will become obsolete and lose their luster. J.K. Rowling’s Albus Dumbledore find Harry Potter staring into “The Mirror of Erised.” This mirror allows the viewer to see their deepest dreams and desires realized – at least in the mirror’s reflection. Dumbledore wisely tells Harry that, “It does not do to dwell on dreams, Harry, and forget to live.” That’s good advice. Earthly treasure is all well and good but you really can’t take it with you. Forgive me gentle reader; I’ve dwelled too long on dreams.

Perhaps it would be best to give the bulk of it away. I mean, do I really need that much money? No. Do I know of situations, families, churches and organizations that could use it? Yes. K.I.S.S. – Keep It Simple Stupid. It would be wonderful to anonymously make a difference with the blessing of a lottery win by supporting missionaries, local soup kitchens, charities, pay off some mortgages and meet, at least to some degree, the needs of others who really need it.

I’m dreaming once again… Alas, “If wishes were horses then beggars would ride”.

Films That are Worth a Second Look – Part II

“The Matrix Revolutions” (2003) – I could get grief for adding this to my list of films to revisit. I balked a long time with this film. I didn’t want to see it – “The Matrix Reloaded” (Matrix II) left a nasty aftertaste in my mouth to the point that I didn’t care what happened in part III. Sure, “The Matrix” (part I) was awesome – wonderful to behold but mass rave/dance scenes a non-delivery on forwarding the mythology that the first film set up nixed “Reloaded” for me. Well, I recently saw “Revolutions” and I’d like to apologize to Andy and Larry Wachowski. “Revolutions” was a drastic improvement over part II and most certainly worth a second look. The war against the machines with the battle for the Dock was worth it alone – the rental that is.

“V for Vendetta” (2005) – This is another Wachowski Brothers film and with this one I never balked at seeing it. This is based on Alan Moore’s graphic novel of the same name. Moore is a dark genius whose stories will go down as some of the finest graphic works of the twentieth and twenty-first centuries. He has had the unfortunate circumstance of watching his work come to the big screen incorrectly – this has happened repeatedly and with absolutely horrible consequences (wait for cable to see “League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.” Don’t rent it – wait for cable - On second thought, miss it on cable too). It was an abomination of an adaptation of a really great story (do go immediately to Barnes & Noble, Borders or you local comic book shop and pick up a copy of the graphic novel – you won’t be disappointed). Being burned in the past, Moore had his name removed form “V” sighting that the filmmakers were going to be espousing a liberal philosophy when his story focused on personal freedoms. The ironic thing is that this film is pretty close to the spirit of Moore’s vision. “V for Vendetta” works on so many levels. It’ s a wonderfully realized film that will make you contemplate the Gunpowder Treason plot (see EC’s 11/5/06 blog – and the movie).

“Little Miss Sunshine” (2006) – If you haven’t seen this film, please do yourself a favor and pick up a copy as soon as possible. What a great little picture. It deserves any Oscars that come its way. Great cast, great script, great direction – great film. It’s a dysfunctional family road trip. There are no throw away characters here; each is dynamic – each learns something vital along the way and so may we. When their dysfunction becomes function you will cheer. I know I did.

“Finding Neverland” (2004) – What an amazing film – the creative process personified. Johnny Depp is J.M. Barrie the man who wrote “Peter Pan” and the story revolves his muse – the Davies family. Kate Winslet plays the widowed mother of the Davies clan and Freddie Highmore plays one of her children, Peter. Radha Mitchell is Barrie’s wife who does not understand him – his amazement of what could be; the possibility of the unwritten page or the wonders of being swept away by the telling of the tale. Birth is not easy. This is how “Peter Pan” was birthed. If you missed it in the theaters or bypassed it at your local Blockbuster back up a couple of isles and rent it immediately. I promise you will not be disappointed.

“Ed Wood” (1994) – This is a Tim Burton film where Johnny Depp plays the infamous Ed Wood Jr. the man who made the “worst movie ever made”, “Plan 9 From Outer Space”. I love Ed Wood, angora and all. He was a testament to sticking to ones own dreams. In the film the Character, Orson Wells tells Ed Wood during a chance meeting, “Visions are worth fighting for. Why spend your life making someone else's dreams?” It is advice that Ed takes to heart. He writes, shoots, edits and distributes on the fly finding backers wherever he can and all the while he continues to do what he loves – making movies. He is a loyal man as well. He befriends the tragic Bela Lugosi (played masterfully by Martin Landau) who is now addicted to morphine and at the end of his film career. If you haven’t seen it do so. As the character Criswell says, “Can your heart stand the shocking facts of the true story of Edward D. Wood Jr.?” You should chance it.

Molon Labe

As I type this little blog on my laptop in Evil Chicken’s Fortress of Solitude, I’m given pause to look around. In front of me are postcards and pictures that adorn the wall; reminders of past adventures in Maine and California and New Orleans. There’s a small framed picture of Mark Twain and quotes from some of my favorite writers. I’ve got a small shelf that’s filled with various nautical pieces most of which deal with piracy in one form or another. Above that is a chart of the Delaware Bay. To my left is a wall of autographs; Peter Laird (co-creator of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles), Mark Moran and Mark Sceurman (creators of Weird NJ), Johanna Cameron (seventies Saturday morning TV staple, Isis) and an issue number 1 of "300" signed by Frank Miller (writer and storyteller). Each one of these hangs on this wall for a reason – I won’t bore you with these reasons save to say that each is there for a purpose. The one that I’d like to discuss with you now, gentle reader is the latter – issue number 1 of “300”.

Frank Miller is one of the greats. Who’s Frank Miller? Why he’s a legend in the field of comics and graphic fiction. If this upsets you in some fashion and if you feel that there is nothing literary that can come from the pages of a comic book then please, do us both a favor and find another blog to read. As Sigmund Freud said to his nephew who told him that he shouldn’t smoke cigars (please forgive my paraphrasing), “Since you have no idea of what you are missing – I can only pity you.”

Still here? Good.

Miller injected high drama into the plotlines of Daredevil – the likes of which had never before been seen in a mainstream comic. He had a hand in retelling a tale of the Wolverine where he learns the way of the Samurai in Japan. He knocked the entire industry on its ear when he wrote “The Dark Knight Returns” (which is still one of the finest examples of graphic novel ever put to paper) “Sin City” was hardcore, hardboiled noir. He created “Robocop” and then, while touring Greece he came across the true story of King Leonidas and his army of 300 souls and the battle of Thermopylae. “300” was born.

"300" is based on a true story. Really. The Spartans drew a line in the sand and made a stand. The Persians, who vastly outnumbered the Spartans, sent a message to Leonidas saying that the king of the Persians would spare their lives if they laid down their weapons and surrendered. Leonidas knew that doing so would give the Persians the upper hand in concurring all of Greece (which would have meant the end of the democracy). Leonidas said, “Molon Labe,” concerning the Spartan’s weapons or, “come and get them.” The Spartans fought to the last man standing, took a huge number of Persians with them and bought Greece the time needed to prepare for the onslaught of Xerxes and his army numbering in the hundreds of thousands. While the 300 perished democracy survived.

Ok, so why is it on my wall? Well, I happen to love Frank Miller and I believe that there are many many lessons that we can pull from King Leonidas and his guard of 300 Spartans. They stood their ground, of course they paid the price for doing so but it was a price each man was willing to pay. Their sacrifice and their courage in the face of such insurmountable odds; who can not recognize the heroism there – the valor? Make a stand make it count. Who can’t get behind such a tale – such an example? For these reasons, issue number 1 of “300” hangs on my wall as a reminder of one of my favorite writers, a nod to courage in the face of adversity and pure righteous indignation. Having the courage of ones own convictions. “300” reminds me that making a stand is not the easy path but that history is rarely written by events that came easy. The 300 refused subjugation, intimidation and slavery – they made their stand at the pass of Thermopylae.

At what pass will you make your stand? When they come asking for your surrender and ask you to lay down your arms (be it your sword, your pen or keyboard, your opinions or even your beliefs); tell them “Molon Labe.” Come and get them.

Make the stand.

Lust in The Heart of South Jersey

I want to talk to you, gentle reader, about an object that Evil Chicken desires; nay – LUSTS after. It’s something that would be put to excellent use for years to come in the Evil Chicken household. It would be a wonderful place to play the Nintendo Wii and the X-box 360 (that we don’t own yet) as well as, the Blue Ray or HD/DVD (that we don’t own either). Gentle reader I lust after a Sony LCD, 1080p (1920x1080), HD TV. I’ll take any size as long as it starts at 46 inches on up.

Oh yeah, livin’ large.

Why Sony? They have an excellent track record when it comes to televisions. The Trintatron was an amazing step forward – I have a sneaking suspicion that a Sony BRAVIA or a Grand WEGA would be too.

Why LCD? No reflection to throw off the picture, which, by the way, is 6 times sharper than a regular set. Does that sound like much of a difference? Go see for yourself side by side – the LCD is more real than real. Jaw dropping vivid color and detail that is simply startling.

1080p – What’s that? Dear friends, that is the magic number when it comes to HDTV. Wikipedia (my favorite second brain) says the following, “1080p is the shorthand name for a category of video modes. The number 1080 represents 1,080 lines of vertical resolution, while the letter p stands for progressive scan or non-interlaced. 1080p is considered an HDTV video mode. The term usually assumes a widescreen aspect ratio of 16:9, implying a horizontal (display) resolution of 1920 dots across and a frame resolution of 1920 × 1080 or about 2.07 million pixels. The frame rate in hertz can be either implied by the context or specified after the letter p (such as 1080p30, meaning 30 frames per second). 1080p is sometimes referred to in marketing materials as "True High-Definition" or "Full High-Definition". 1080p is currently the digital standard for filming digital motion pictures. The best technology commercially available is 1080p. Directors such as George Lucas (in Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith) shoot their digital films in this (1080p) high definition mode to be shown in theaters equipped with 1080p digital projectors.” Do not kid yourselves gentle readers 1080p is what you want – what you desire… Dare, I say lust after. I know I do.

So does anyone know what the winning lottery numbers were tonight?

What’s a Geek-Boy To Do?

Ahoy Lads and Lasses – There Be Spoilers Ahead…

“Ghostrider.” Hmmm. Let me just say that I really wanted to love “Ghostrider.” I remember buying the first issue way back in the seventies and loved it. I kept on reading and found that I began to really love the tragic – deal with the devil – figure that Johnny Blaze represented. High drama? Yeah, and it should be. I cared about what happened to Johnny Blaze because he had heart and soul, albeit a bought one. He was still trying to do the best he could with a bad situation – hoping beyond hope that he was on the road to redemption. The movie reflects a lot of this, which is ultimately a reflection of the heart of the comic.

Did I love it? No. I didn’t hate it and there are parts that are down right likeable but I didn’t love this movie. Believe me I wanted to but there are one too many lines of dialogue that made me cringe; there are too many actors just walking through their roles and too many characters that are just underdeveloped.

Perhaps I’m being too harsh – after all this is a movie about a flaming skeleton on a motorcycle. I should lighten up. There is stuff to like about “Ghostrider”, Sam Shepard, Peter Fonda, Nicholas Cage (at some points) and the straining buttons on Eva Mendez’s blouse all give wonderful performances. The special effects are top notch and I dug the voice of the Ghostrider. It’s the small things that tripped me up like having Johnny being stabbed in the shoulder while in the Ghostrider state and having to be sowed up by Sam Shepard when he’s in human form. If you establish that as the rule in this world that you’ve created then so be it; unfortunately about 15 minutes later the Ghostrider gets shot up by the whole police force and when he regains human form Johnny is not Swiss cheese – you have already established that he will be wounded and it never happens. 5 minutes after he is sowed up Johnny should have a pretty good scar on his shoulder. This is not the case, we see, as he tries to bring on the Ghostrider state in front of a mirror with no shirt on. Hey – no scar. Johnny learns how to control his “inner element” pretty easy too. Yes – I get it, there is supposed to be a camp element evoked with the story but some of the dialogue is horrendous. I felt embarrassed for Cage, having to deliver some of those lines.

You know, I’m being too harsh again. Did I mention the great effects? You know another thing that didn’t do it for me? Trench coats, sneers and young punk attitudes on the bad guys – come on, these are supposed to be fallen angels who have existed for untold millennia and what do we get? – Trench coats and punks with sneers? Uoof-Fah. “Blackheart” the devil’s son is leading them; who happens to be a whiney little git with a trench coat and a sneer.

Did I mention the special effects were great? How about the buttons on Eva Mendez’s blouse?

This movie will make barrels of money and is a decent popcorn flick and harbinger of things to come. The multiplexes will be full this summer as opposed to last. I only hope that the caliber of the movie making gets a little higher.

Oh well, BRING ON 300!

Den of Antiquity

We, the EC-5, just got back from the Franklin Institute in Philadelphia; we celebrated Mother Hen’s birthday (29) by taking everyone to the “Tutankhamun and the Golden Age of the Pharaohs” exhibit. “The exhibition includes approximately 130 objects from the tomb of King Tut and other valley of the King Ancestors.” The majority of the artifacts have never been on American soil. If you enjoy seeing antiquities from a long gone age and shining moment in history then go. Know also that you will pay $27.50 a head (adult) and $17.50 per child (ages 4-11). Know that Tutankhamun’s death mask is not part of the exhibition since “The death mask is not allowed to leave Egypt and therefore is not included in the exhibition.” And know that you will not be allowed to use your camera – photography is strictly prohibited. You can buy all of the pictures you want from the gift shop, which is conveniently located at the end of the exhibition.

Yeah.

It took us roughly an hour and a half to tour through the artifacts. We went at the 2:30 PM, cattle call and, at the end of the day I believe that it was worth it. The kids (the three chicks) absolutely love this period of history. Chick 2.0 was telling me how many jars were usually used in the mummification process and that was well before we were unleashed on the antiquities. Actually seeing some of these items up close and personal gave me a new respect for Egypt’s golden age. The detail in the gold inlays and the hieroglyphs – simply amazing; that and I’ve never seen a solid gold ceremonial dagger before. BTW it was a dagger that was buried with Tut himself. Amazing.

Thanks to the Birthday Girl, Mother Hen, for sharing her 29th birthday with us in such a fashion. I love you Lady. Like you said, “for my birthday I want to make some memories with my family.”

Mission accomplished.

Geocaching

It occurs to me that I have never really taken the time to share a love of mine. Please forgive me, I did not mean to keep it to myself for so long. Geocaching is as the homepage explains it; “… an entertaining adventure game for gps users. Participating in a cache hunt is a good way to take advantage of the wonderful features and capability of a gps unit. The basic idea is to have individuals and organizations set up caches all over the world and share the locations of these caches on the internet. GPS users can then use the location coordinates to find the caches. Once found, a cache may provide the visitor with a wide variety of rewards. All the visitor is asked to do is if they get something they should try to leave something for the cache.”

Think of it as a high tech treasure hunt that takes you places that you would never have otherwise seen or would have known existed. Pretty cool – no? Well yes – of course it’s cool. I have a hard time recollecting the names of all of the ghost towns and forgotten historical places that we, the Evil Chicken 5 (EC-5) have been. It’s a wonderful family activity and as a tee shirt that I once read said, “I use multi-million dollar equipment to find Tupperware in the woods – what do you do for a hobby?”

I’ve been asked, “What do you win?” Ladies and gentlemen let me just say that with geocaching as with life, it is the journey and not the destination. You win the experience of learning about a location, the exercise of a good hike and the breath of clean fresh air thorough your lungs – well that and you get to sign the log book. We (the EC-5) have been blessed along the path to meet several amazing like-minded individuals; modern day explorers and adventurers – no kidding. I know people who have cached in dozens of countries and each found cache is a story unto itself. I know people who have encountered machine gun toting Federales at the base of a Aztec pyramid, had alligator & snake encounters as well as the occasional run in with drug dealers and, of course, muggles (non-caching folk). It’s not as dangerous as it sounds but as with anything, it’s best to use your common sense before attempting anything be it crossing the street or retrieving a cache. If your “spider-sense” is tingling – you should probably listen. The game is in over 220 countries around the world so chances are wherever you go you will not be too far from a cache.

Don't believe me? Well see for yourself. Go to www.geocaching.com and type in your zip code. Don’t worry, I promise it’s not a cult. See how many caches are around you, read the hints, find the cords and off you go. Geocachers the world over usually have an endearing trait that is (for the most part) they are people who know the value of stopping to smell the roses, to appreciate the sunrise as well as the sunset and hit the ground running – after all there are more caches out there; just around the corner.

See you on the trails.

The 79th Academy Awards

While I believe that the Academy Awards has become a bloated, self-important ego festival that cares more for song, dance and fashion than film – it’s still the Academy Awards and technically the pinnacle of achievement in Hollywood. Yes it’s a warped place in the universe but it is built that way; housed in a plastic city that sells illusions – Los Angeles, Hollywood California. This being said, it is possible to guess who the Academy will favor based on how the political winds are blowing. Anyway, here’s Evil Chicken’s list for who should get the Oscar and who will get it.

Performance by an actor in a leading role: Who deserves it – Will Smith. Who will get it – Peter O’Toole. Why? He’s old Hollywood. The Academy loves that.

Performance by an actor in a supporting role: Who deserves it – Alan Arkin. Who will get it – Alan Arkin (with respect to Eddie Murphy). Why? Great actor, he’s due and he delivered an amazing performance in “Little Miss Sunshine”.

Performance by an actress in a leading role: Who deserves it – Kate Winslet. Who will get it – Meryl Streep. Why? Thinking like the academy thinks, it’s been a while since she got one.

Performance by an actress in a supporting role: Who deserves it – Abigail Breslin. Who will get it – Jennifer Hudson. Why? “Dreamgirls” is too cool a property to not give something to; as the academy thinks.

Best documentatry feature: Who deserves it – “Jesus Camp”. Who will get it – “An Inconvenient Truth”. Why? What’s more popular than global warming? To the Academy this was an important film – bank on it.

Adapted screenplay: Who deserves it – “Borat – Cultural learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhastan”. Who will get it – Borat; and justly so. Wa wa wee wa!

Original screenplay: Who deserves it – it’s a toss up for me. This is a tough one. “Little Miss Sunshine” or “Pan’s Labyrinth”. Both are amazing to behold. Who gets it – “Letters from Iwa Jima”. Why? Eastwood property.

Achievement in directing: Who deserves it – “United 93”. Who will get it – “Letters From Iwo Jima”. Why? This was a close one for me – it won’t be for the Academy. Clint Eastwood is a living legend and deserves the Oscar. “United 93”, however, takes you back to the exact moment of 9/11, and evokes the emotions that we have spent the last few years building scare tissue over.

Best motion picture of the year: Who deserves it – “Little Miss Sunshine”. Who will get it – “Letters From Iwo Jima”. Why? Eastwood.

Let us not forget the other categories that the Academy will bestow lauding upon… These are my guesses – what the Academy does who knows.

Best animated feature film of the year: “Cars”

Achievement in art direction: “Pan’s Labyrinth” or “Pirates of he Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest”.

Achievement in cinematography: “Pan’s Labyrinth”

Achievement in makeup: “Pan’s Labyrinth”

Best Score: “Dreamgirls”

Best Song: Either nominated song from “Dreamgirls”

Sound editing: “Pirates of he Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest”

Sound mixing: “Pirates of he Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest”

Achievement in visual effects: This is another split for me; it’s either “Pirates of he Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest” or “Superman Returns”.

We shall see what we shall see on 2/25/07.

Change is a Good Thing

Gentle reader, I have embraced the changes to Blogger. Things may look a little different around these parts and that’s not really a bad thing. It’s still the same old rants and raves but now in green.

I’m still playing around with things so forgive the dust – I’m remodeling.

Torture Porn

I know that there is a place for horror movies. There are several horror movies that are among my all time favorites. Watching such a flick becomes a vehicle for dealing with the all too real horrors that are marching in step with us 24/7/365. I get it.

This being said, I have a hard time getting into many of the ‘newest’ horror films that are produced today. There is a difference between horror and torture porn. Torture porn may a reflection of our times but if I wanted to really view it all I have to do is watch the 6 o-clock news, read an article online (or – gasp, in a newspaper), look toward the genocide & it’s aftermath from Rwanda or to Darfur or watch the latest listing of the body counts from the war in Iraq and there it is – live and local; horror, misery and despair. I didn’t even have to shell out $9.00 to see it at the multiplex. I understand the need for this ‘new’ style of horror films – aka – torture porn, but that doesn’t mean I’m gonna support it at the theaters, with DVD rentals or by wearing the merchandized tee shirt. You see the real thing is already horrific enough for me. I don’t feel the need to be entertained by the latest re-invention of a snuff film.

I don’t blame the storytellers, the problem, most assuredly, rests with yours truly. I need hope. Watching the hopeless just doesn’t do it for me. Art is a reflection of life and to me life is hope. Horror, misery and despair all bow to hope since without it they simply don’t exist. I know that the converse is true too but at the end of the day I’ll stack my eggs in hope’s basket. Corny? Too bad, that’s the way it is.

See you at the movies.

Bradbury Challenge – It’s On Now

“The Bradbury Challenge” is underway, (Please see 9/1/06 Blog Entry for the greater details). The long story short version is that I’m putting together a compilation of 52 + short stories for self-publication. Ray Bradbury made mention of challenging a writer to write 52 short stories in a row. He said that, “They can’t all be bad.” Well, I’m in the process of seeing if that’s so. It’s been an exciting prospect and I’ve been having a lot of fun doing it. The vast majority of the stories will be new ones but I’m also polishing some of my old stuff up and putting them out there too.

What can I say, it’s hard to let go of the past sometimes.

Who knows, once it’s done I just may send Mr. Bradbury a copy as a thank you for the unintentional suggestion to do it, the inspiration to keep writing and for his body of work. I’m not saying this as a threat towards Ray or with any other hidden agenda. He’s simply one of the greats and I’d like to say ‘thanks’, even if he never cracks the book. He’ll be 87 on August 22, 2007.

I’ll let you know, gentle reader, how this newest project progresses.

“NO RETURNS” Submission

I’m about to mail off a submission to Asimov’s Science Fiction. As my cover letter to Ms. Sheila Williams the publication’s Editor says, “NO RETURNS” (4,179 words). It’s a story about a man with a problem, a girl with her mind made up, an antique typewriter that predicts the future and the real explanation for why the QWERTY keyboard exists as it does today. It’s light, fun, fantasy that I wrote with my daughter in mind.” …My oldest daughter (who is 14) to be specific.

It takes about 5 weeks or so to hear back from Asimov’s Science Fiction. Gentle reader, I’ll let you know if I’m published or not as soon as I know myself. Hey rejection happens – it’s part of the game and, just as in life, you will miss 100% of the shots you never take.

Here’s to hope!

On The Lot

Here is “WAKE” (< Just click)

Gentle readers in the past I have alluded to a short film that I had the pleasure of taking part in. Well today it went live on the On The Lot website. My friend, Mr. Ron Diprimio wrote, edited and directed the short. I showed up and had a blast stumbling over my lines. We were joined on screen by friends and family; in fact one of my co-workers, God bless her, took a vacation day to be in the bar scene. She’s a trooper and a heck of a quarters player to boot. Don’t fret, all the booze was really apple juice – after all this will be aired in prime time on Fox. It will be premiering sometime in the spring of ’07.

So just what is On the Lot? Well, as it says on their web site it’s, “the groundbreaking new show brought to you by reality show mastermind, Mark Burnett, and legendary producer and director, Steven Spielberg. Over the season, the 16 filmmakers will produce short films in every genre every week and the viewers will vote on who gets eliminated. The winning filmmaker will take home a $1 Million development deal!” – So says the OTL site.

So check out the OTL web site and if you like the film let ‘em know. I, for one, would love to see Ron as one of the 16 and it would be fun to have a guy from Jersey in the competition.

It’s Almost 2007

This morning on CNN I heard that Saddam Hussein was executed. It is still uncertain weather or not this will lead to an increase in violence in the area. December has been the bloodiest month for American Soldiers since the war began; the death toll is, presently, at 108. The commentator who was Australian and had most recently been in Baghdad in September discussed how the Iraqi people view their lives now at the close of 2006. He said that fathers tell their families when they leave for the day to try to find work that they will see them in the evening God willing. The average number of bodies found on a daily basis is 40. These bodies, these people, have been tortured with electric drill bits before being shot in the head and dumped by the side of the road. This doesn’t count the car bombings, which are a common occurrence there in the destabilized region that is Iraq.

The fact is that no one is safe. Security is an illusion. No matter where one lives Baghdad or New Jersey. The Lord gives and He takes away. Uncertainty is certain. The past is gone, the future is completely up in the air and the only thing we have is right now. No matter where we are or what our role may be – we must make right now count. We play our roles until our parts are recast. The day is young. The New Year has yet to begin. Brimming with possibility both horrific and wondrous. But I suppose that is how it has always been and always will be. Life moves on weather we want it to or wish it to.

Happy New Year; may it be a wondrous one. Do your part and make it so.

"Lord willin’ and the creek don’t rise."

Multiplex Madness 2007!

This is a hard time for a fanboy like myself. The Christmas movie season can be feast or famine and ’06 is not knocking my socks off. Alas, what’s a geek like me to do? Well, make a list of what’s around the corner for ’07 of course!

Although the dates may change here’s the hot list – thus far…

- Ghostrider (2/16/07 – I’m jazzed for this one. Make mine Marvel.)
- 300 (3/9/07 – from Frank Miller’s graphic novel. Not for the kids and based on a true story. Molan Labe!)
- TMNT (CG on 3/23/07. I met Peter Laird a few years back, nice guy)
- Grind House (4/6/07 – Terantino & Rodriguez back in black. Not for the kids.)
- Spiderman 3 (5/4/07 – I can’t wait for this one)
- 28 Weeks Later (5/11/07 – The not-zombie zombie sequel!)
- 1408 (5/18/07 – Steven King ghost story, sign me up)
- Shrek the Third (5/18/07 – “Not my gumdrop buttons!”)
- Pirates of the Caribbean: At Worlds End (5/25/07 – Bring it on)
- Fantastic Four – Rise of the Silver Surfer (6/15/07 – Hope it works)
- Ratatoulille (6/29/07 – Pixar. You can’t go wrong w/ Pixar.)
- Transformers (7/4/07 – This’ll be big)
- Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (7/13/07 – I’m a Potterhead and I’m not ashamed of it!)
- Mr. Bean’s Holiday (9/28/07 – I love the character.)
- Thirty Days of Night (10/19/07 – Vampires at the artic circle. Based on the graphic novel. No doubt I’m there.)
- I Am Legend (11/19/07 – It’s the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine.)
- National Treasure II (12/21/07 – This one revolves around Abe Lincoln and 18 missing pages from John Wilkes Booth’s library. I never expected there to be a sequel but here it comes.)

There are also two wild cards Battle Angel (James Cameron returns to the director’s chair) and Sweeny Todd (Tim Burton & Johnny Depp have adapted the play) but I don’t know the release dates yet.

Yeah, it’s a good time to be a geek.

Changing Channels

Celebrity has been described as “The cult of personality.” I don’t believe that this is far from the truth. It is pitiful what we value in our society. Pitiful. These swollen bags of self-important protoplasm & ego that we choose to worship truly sadden me. It would be simple to name names but why? You probably already have a list of pop culture figures dancing through your mind. We have elected the beautiful, the rich and have lifted them onto pedestals with our time, money and attention – why? Just because someone has amassed a fortune by inheriting it, sleeping with someone who has money or power or actually earning it does not mean that they deserve to be worshiped. Some celebrities have been elevated to a position of veneration and they, most certainly, have their disciples. Never forget that it is we who do this. Oh we can blame the media but they are only giving the public what it wants; and what we want is drivel. They are happy to supply.

I weep for the future.

I’m going to describe a scene that happened yesterday morning. I’m not naming names – these meat puppets already get entirely too much publicity. I was getting ready for work and turned on "Good Morning America." They ran out of news and started discussing a shocking celebrity battle. The story concerned a celebrity who put his hand across the mouth of another celebrity, which in turn caused another celebrity from another waste of time TV show to become upset at the celebrity who was physically accosted. This celebrity (the one with her mouth covered by the other celebrity) phoned the waste of time TV show of the other bloated celebrity to complain. And this is news? Really. So I changed the channel over to the "Today Show" and just guess what they were covering. Yup, the same celebrities in the same non-issue incident. Now here we have two major networks covering the same “story” at the same time. Why? Because this pabulum is what we as a viewing public choose to care about – it’s what we choose to worship. Have no doubt about it worship is the right word.

I stopped changing channels and just switched the TV off. As previously stated, I intentionally did not use any of the people’s names involved in the “incident” because they get entirely too much press as it is and here, in this blog at least, I control the names of those I choose to venerate and remember. Art for art’s sake does not mean that we have to worship at the feet of a group of talking heads. The above example is just the tip of the festering boil; there have been, are and will continue to be such important newsworthy stories to capture our collective attention and dumb us down once again. Fortunately we now have hundreds of channels to choose from to keep us up to speed on the big issues of celebrity life. Even better – all televisions are still equipped with an on/off button.

Switch it off.

No celebrities were harmed during the above diatribe… unfortunately.

A Word On Michael Richards

Wow.

My wife and I were down in the Garden District of New Orleans (pre Katrina) and we were Geocaching in a small park in between two parallel running roads. It was a sunny, well-lit day but our search for the object of our desire was not to be found. The cache was well hidden. We found a large red spider in her web in between bricks where our GPS was telling us to look but other than that – nothing.

New Orleans was/is a vibrant part of the world – there is always something happening. That’s part of the joy of the city. Out of the corner of my eye I spotted a guy on a bike riding down the side of the road peddling toward whatever destination awaited him. I didn’t pay much attention since I was still looking for the cache. Suddenly a car turns around the corner and speeds up. The driver of said car sticks his head out of the driver’s window and screams “Get out of my way nigger!” He then bravely sped away from the scene of the incident. The guy on the bike was frustrated; he shook his head and kept on peddling. What else was there to do? Meanwhile, my wife and I just stood with our jaws agape. We didn’t believe what we just witnessed. This was the twenty first century – that sort of thing is a part of the past! Right? Was this a litmus test of southern racial tension or just a simple reminder to a couple from New Jersey that there most certainly is still trouble in the paradise of modern life here in the United States?

Blind hatred really has no bounds or boarders. Since it really lacks any type of moral compass divisions such as North and South don’t really do it any justice. I’m not just talking White verses Black or Black verses White – no one race has any corner of the market when it comes to hatred. It is what it is and you move on. I find it next to impossible to discuss any topic in any depth with someone whose mind has been made up. I teach my children the importance of treating others the way that they want to be treated, no matter what their skin tone is. It is irrelevant. “Do unto others,” is one of the most basic tenants of my faith. We never did find that cache in the park and decided that it would be better to move along.

I still think of that day and I realize that I am one of those naïve white guys who believed that, for the most part, blatant hatred is a thing of the past. After all, this is the twenty-first century. I’m pleased and happy to believe this since it fits quite nicely into my white guy existence. I’d like to believe that we are moving forward and that there are equal opportunities for anyone who would take advantage of them. Times have changed – right? We have come some distance but there is still so very far to go. Perhaps it just comes down to fear? It could be fear of the unknown, the unfamiliar; fear of losing control over one’s own environment or of being subjugated; fear of being threatened, mistreated and hurt emotionally or physically; maybe even destroyed, I don’t know. Perhaps recognition of ones own fear is key – no matter what shade of the rainbow ones pigmentation is. Will blind hatred ever be eradicated? No. But it can be seen and understood for what it is – identified so that it can be treated and we can all move on.

I cannot speak for Michael Richard but it seems that his fear got the best of him – right here in the twenty-first century.

Wow.

Gunpowder Treason

My wife reminded me that today was November the 5th; Guy Fawkes Day in the majority of all places United Kingdom. I remember hearing of the Gunpowder Plot in school but I truly took notice with Alan Moore’s “V for Vendetta” and the subsequent film of the same name that he has, as with all of his work that has been excreted into film, disavowed.

So what is the difference between an anarchist and a revolutionary? Where is the line between terrorist and freedom fighter drawn? You got me; the victors write the history books. In Guy Fawkes case the victors caught him attempting to blow up the King and the Parliament Building. Guy was catholic and the King and those in power were protestant. Guy was tortured into revealing the names of his conspirators, hung and drawn & quartered. Ouch.

Today as it states in Wikipedia, Guy Fawkes Day is celebrated, “in the United Kingdom take place in towns and villages across the country, involve fireworks displays and the building of bonfires, on which "guys", or dummies, representing Guy Fawkes, the most famous of the conspirators, are traditionally burnt. Before the fifth, children use the "guys" to beg for money with the chant "Penny for the guy".

“Remember, remember the fifth of November.” Now, without further ado, here is the traditional rhyme, which I pulled from Wikipedia, my favorite second brain…

The night is closely associated with the popular rhyme:

Remember remember the fifth of November,
Gunpowder Treason and Plot,
I see no reason why gunpowder treason
should ever be forgot.

The full rhyme, rarely used, continues:

Guy Fawkes, Guy Fawkes, 'twas his intent
to blow up the King and the Parliament.
Three score barrels of powder below,
Poor old England to overthrow:
By God's providence he was catch'd
With a dark lantern and burning match.
Holloa boys, holloa boys, make the bells ring.
Holloa boys, holloa boys, God save the King!
Hip hip hoorah!

The following verses, though originally part of the rhyme, are usually left out of modern day recitations for the inflammatory anti-Catholic remarks:

A penny loaf to feed the Pope.
A farthing o' cheese to choke him.
A pint of beer to rinse it down.
A faggot of sticks to burn him.
Burn him in a tub of tar.
Burn him like a blazing star.
Burn his body from his head.
Then we'll say ol' Pope is dead.
Hip hip hoorah!
Hip hip hoorah!

So there you have it, don’t blow off any fingers or start any revolutions that you are not prepared to finish. Happy Guy Fawkes Day!

Bring It On

Finally! Someone gets it – a working electric car and now, more than ever, for the right reasons. Surprise surprise, it’s not a big American carmaker… yet.

Check it.

http://www.teslamotors.com/

“Oh it will never catch on… It’s too expensive… Where do you go for repairs… It won’t work… Are you a tree hugger or something?” Do shut up. I’m not even saying please. I’m entirely too sick of people accepting the status quo just because it’s the status quo. Yes, it will catch on. Yeah it’s pricey – so were the first color televisions that are now about to become obsolete do to HDTV. Repair shops will respond to customer demand. Hell yeah it’ll work. Making the accusation of being a ‘treehugger’ may just be one of the least patriotic things someone could say concerning the issue of foreign oil vs. alternative energy. Prior to this electric cars were limited to about trips of 60 or so miles. The Tesla travels 250 miles on one charge. Oh, did I mention that it goes 0 to 60 miles per hour in 4 seconds?

“Did you say all the right reasons? Yeah that’s right. Putting the obvious environmental advantages aside the real beauty of this vehicle is to reduce our dependency on foreign oil. We’ve heard it all on the news but the fact is that other large countries (India & China) are clamoring for oil – the same oil that we are depending on for industrial residential, commercial and transportation needs. Transportation is a biggie folks. 63% of the oil we use here goes to transportation. Right here in the good ole’ U S of A we are over a barrel (sorry). It really doesn’t matter who has the reigns the Republicans (although having an oil man in the oval office doesn’t bode well for significant change any time too soon) or the Democrats; both parties like the status quo. Fortunately, there is still a thing called competition. Competition is one of the engines of progress. If there is a need to be filled that the big boys don’t see because they are too busy getting fat and rich it is still possible for the world to change with an idea or concept that the big guys choose to overlook. This is such a project.

Gentle reader we cannot leave this in the hands of big oil or the government. You want jobs? Let’s rebuild our infrastructure and base it on replenishable power sources. Can you imagine a world where we were not so utterly and completely dependent on the whims of madmen or oil barons? Wouldn’t that be a great world to hand over to our children?

All Hail Tesla! Give ‘em HELL boys.

Next Gen Gaming

Dear friends allow me to share with you a few thoughts about the latest batch of “Next Generation” video game consoles. The Evil Chicken clan loves video games. There are three kids who range in age from 6 to 13 years of age. Of course it would not be prudent to not add their father, yours truly, into the equation. 4 out of 5 members of the EC-5 are gamers – we have been following the ups and downs of the big three, X-Box 360, Playstation 3, and the Nintendo Wii. All of these systems will deliver wonderful sound and graphics. Each has the third party software angle firmly in their pocket and each are vying for your dollar. So now for your reading pleasure and potential shopping enjoyment I present to you what the future may hold for your TV (HD or otherwise) in the near future.

X-Box 360. Great graphics, HD ready (which is quite startling when you see an HD image) and is ready for multiplayer glory around the globe. It is possible to go out right now and buy one; in fact BJ’s has a bundle pack with the game system and three games for $499.00. For the X-Box 360, this is a good price. Still, the X-Box 360 will not play your old X-Box games. I find this a bit of a downer. However, that new zombie game, “Dead Rising” that was just released peaked my interest and put Microsoft back in the running.

Playstation 3. Graphics, HD, out of the box multiplayer support and that’s not too shabby. Games, you ask? How does three generations of software sound? If you still have your original “Tomb Raider” PSX disc it will play on the PS3. Did you enjoy playing “God of War” on your PS2? Well, you’ll still enjoy it on your PS3. Sony is not making you pay for an entirely new library of games. Oh you will want to do the new games by their merit alone but it’s nice to know that the golden oldies will still play on your next-gen machine. There are two big problems with the PS3; first, it’s not out yet. Some estimations put the release date in 2007. Second is the price – there have been estimates that put the price between $600.00 - $800.00. Ouch. Of course Sony will also sell a stripped down version that will be without the tech bells and whistles that you really want for around $500.00. Ouch.

Nintendo Wii. Graphics, multiplayer support, wireless interface with the Nintendo DS (two out of three of the Three Chicks have ‘em by the way) and a price tag of $250.00. This makes Nintendo the cheapest of the next gen consoles. Nintendo has, with their “Nunchuk” controller, revolutionized the gaming experience. Think of the Nunchuk as an interactive remote control; in one hand you have a mouse with a thumbstick and in the other you have a remote control that responds to your movements. Let me say that once more, it responds to your movements. Tennis, golf, baseball, sword fighting, etc. each movement that would be done in real life is mimicked inside the game. That’s pretty cool. Sony and Microsoft are not even close to something an interface like this instead they have opted for their old controllers. Hey – way to break new ground! Oh yeah, and it plays your old Nintendo Gamecube games; which I might add we have a slue of.

So there you have it gentle reader. As you can probably tell I’m leaning towards the Wii. As time passes I’ll probably pick up a used PS3 in a year or so. Who knows; if Sony drops the price to something that I wouldn’t have to sell a kidney to afford I might make the jump. I respect the idea that they did not isolate the customer who has been supporting them for the last ten years or so. I just can’t or won’t pay their price to play. We’ve never had an X-box so jumping on now would be a good starting point but I have serious doubts that X-box 3 would play the games that I have invested in with the 360. That’s a sad business mentality. Oh well. For the EC-5, I do believe that there may be a Nintendo Wii under the Christmas tree. It’s cheap, powerful and will play the games that we have already bought as well as the new stuff. Those controllers aren’t too bad either. Check this out for yourself: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6RUKkWRK9gU. Yeah, they are pretty cool.

See you on line for a Wii!

What’s New?

Yeah, I know. It’s been forever since I’ve posted. Well, what can I say, life happens. There have been a lot of genre releated things going on recently. Here’s the ones that stick out in Evil Chicken’s head.

Please let me gush about the casting for the “Iron Man” movie. Robert Downey Jr. is going to make a wonderful Tony Stark. I can’t wait to see how it all comes together. He’s simply a great actor and he will be able to deliver the goods when it comes to a complex character such as Stark.

Complex – you ask; from a comic book? Yeah, take it from me or better yet do a Wikipedia search for yourself – or better still since your mind is made up on the subject go read someone else’s blog. Oh and thanks for stopping by!

Speaking of comics to film, Frank Miller’s “300” has some amazing spin. Most certainly opening night material. I believe that it’ll be out in the spring of ’07. The Spartans, hopelessly outnumbered, made their stand and “drew a line in the sand for democracy.” It will be visceral but it will be some great storytelling as well.

“Ghostrider” will be gracing the big screen in early ’07 as well. I’m really starting to salivate for this one. They have tweaked some things but, for my money, they were things that should have been tweaked. Johnny Blaze still strikes a deal with the devil, which is as it should be according to comic cannon. The Ghostrider, however, needs to be bonded to a human soul (Blaze’s) and he is a bounty hunter from Hell. In other words, when the really bad guys escape from Hell, the devil sends his bounty hunter after them for retrieval. Nice.

“I Am Legend” is currently shooting in New York City. This marks the third time that Richard Matheson’s “I Am Legend” has made it to the big screen. Vincent Price and Charlton Hesston were the first to portray ‘Robert Neville’. Will Smith will be taking the lead this time. It should be great. I’m not usually one for remakes but “I Am Legend” is one of those stories that I actually enjoy seeing retold every now and again.

I do apologize for this posting. I continue to be quite busy – writing the ‘great American novel’, assisting with church, aiding my friend with his 5 minute film (which kicks major butt, BTW) and work. Still and all it’s good to post again.

See ya soon!

The Bradbury Challenge

People throw around he word, “legend” as if it were a handful of peanut shells at a steakhouse these days. Advertisers and public relations people constantly use the word to sell you material goods or ideas. That’s what they do and I don’t begrudge them for it – still dissemination occurs. The word “legend” is in danger of losing its impact. Fortunately for us true legends still walk the earth; their impact still reverberating through the past & the present and will be felt long into the future. Cities may crumble and tales will go in and out of fashion but a legend – that will endure.

Am I pouring it on enough – perhaps too much? No, not in this case; the legend I’m talking about is Ray Bradbury.

I was poking around the official Ray Bradbury site (http://www.raybradbury.com/) and found a choppy Quicktime interview with one of my all time favorite authors. The interview, for some reason, is cut into a dozen or so segments. Perhaps, ultimately, this is due to the fact that Mr. Bradbury does not have an active interest in the internet; come to think of it his choice of the dissemination of story is a big electric typewriter that he has used for years. His site (or web presence) was pieced together by his publishers at Harper Collins and he doesn’t have too much to do with it.

Please forgive me I’m digressing.

On this page (http://www.raybradbury.com/at_home_clips.html), in one segment of the interview entitled, “Bradbury of Short Stories”, Mr. Bradbury says, “…You defy yourself to write 52 bad short stories in a row – and it’s impossible. Somewhere along the line you’re gonna write a good one.” This statement started me to thinking. What a great idea; 52 short stories – a years worth of stories! As Ray said himself, “…they cant’ be all bad.”

…Well, maybe?

So this being said, I’m thinking of accepting the Bradbury Challenge but first there are certain things that I must do, first I’m going to finish my novel, “Bonny, Read & Rackham”, then I may participate in Nanowrimo (http://www.nanowrimo.org/) that is coming up in November. After these literary feats of wonder I think I’m going to accept the Bradbury challenge. When a legend suggests something like this I must ask myself the question – hey, why not? After all, they can’t all be bad.

…Right?

Rouge’s Gallery

How wonderful be this little treasure, Lads and Lasses?

http://www.anti.com/news.php?id=184

It came out last week and I need to track down a copy ASAP. It’ll make a great soundtrack to “Bonny, Read & Rackham.” I had heard that this was being produced but I had no idea that it was already out. Besides I haven’t heard any Sting in a long while.

The novel, by the way, is coming along quite nicely. Now if I could only take off for about a month or two to finish; yeah that would be about right… Ah, if wishes were horses then all men would ride.

I do apologize gentle reader, that I have not been updating things, as I should or updating them with any eye to quality. Do forgive me; I’ve been wicked busy. Principal photography is now done on my friend’s film entry for “On the Lot” and now the editing process begins. The whole project has been a complete joy; I only hope that my ‘acting’ will hold up long enough to be of some use to my friend. You know, they say that the camera adds ten pounds – I just wonder how many cameras he had on me while he filmed!

I promise that I will pass along any information on the film when it is ready to be viewed and/or voted on. Until that time let me just tell you that the film is called, “Borrowed Time.” My friend is a talented fellow and I cannot wait to see how it all comes together.

Until next time, shipmates – I bid you adieu.

Lights, Camera… ACTION!

Alright here’s an update on my friend’s film that he will be submitting for the Fox reality TV show, “On The Lot” that will be aired in the Spring of 2007.

We are having a blast making this short. I can’t really go into gory details but, as our director says, it’s a horrific take on ‘The Emperor’s New Clothes.” The man who is playing the lead is spot on for what he needs to do and his voice and intonation are going to be perfect for the part. My friend needed a balding fat guy as one of his actors and, low and behold, yours truly is in the short too. May God have mercy on the production.

We’ve shot the interior scenes at the director’s house. Soon we will be shooting inside a local tavern and, after that, on one of the main streets of a local city. He has already received permission from the mayor to have the 600 block at his disposal for a few hours on an upcoming Saturday.

This has been an amazing experience thus far and I have learned that the next great leap forward, concerning filmmaking, will not come from L.A. or N.Y., no; the next revolution will be right out of peoples own garages. The technology is here and people will use it. It is now possible to write, shoot and edit amazing work with a computer and a decent camera. It’s amazing. Don’t believe me? Go check out You Tube for a couple of flicks. You will soon be a believer.

We shoot at the tavern on Monday. I’ll let you know how it goes.

DIXIE COUSINS BACKSTAGE

The good people from Aint’ It Cool News (www.aintitcoolnews.com) recently sponsored a contest to win one of four “Brisco County Jr.” DVD packages. Contestants had to write a story where members of the AICN staff were mingling with the characters form the show. Well this got my attention and my geek blood pulsing. I decided to use Quint, an AICN staff member and Dixie Cousins, Brisco’s love interest on the show. Quint usually does interviews of actors or directors on how they approach what they do in the film industry. He then follows up his interviews by asking the individual what their favorite dirty joke is; it’s a disarming and challenging technique that reveals subtleties the interviewee and lets the reader decide it they have a sense of humor or not. Anyway, I transplanted a “Quint” interview back to Brisco County Jr.’s time. Corny? Yep. Oh well, so was the TV show – which I loved BTW. Gentle reader, I post it here for your potential enjoyment – and to let you know what I’ve been up to recently. Enough yapping; here’s the goods…

DIXIE COUSINS BACKSTAGE

Ahoy Squirts! Quint here with all the coverage of he Concert Saloon and Variety Hall circuit. I recently had a chance to sit down and speak with Ms. DIXIE COUSINS. She was just coming off stage from her third performance of the evening at the “Howling Cat Saloon” in San Francisco. Ms. Cousins is a professional and consistently delivers one wonderful performance after another – night after night. She is an engaging performer and was kind enough to answer some of my questions. So pull up a bottle of sarsaparilla, kick back and enjoy.

“Ms. Cousins? Ms. Dixie Cousins?”

“Yes.”

Hi, I’m with ‘Ain’t It Cool News’ out of Austin Texas.”

“Harry’s rag! Oh, I love you guys!” Her face really lights up at this news. “And which one are you? Wait, let me guess.” She looks me up and down. “Glasses and a sharks tooth hanging around your neck – you’re Quint aren’t you?”

Laughing

“Guilty. I suppose you read us?”

“Oh yes. You guys are great.”

“I know that you don’t have too much time between shows but would it be alright to ask you some questions for our readers?”

“I’m all yours, Mr. Quint. Well, at least for the next five minutes.”

She has a smile that lights up both on and off stage. I look down behind the curtain as the next act sets up. There is an odd looking man in a wide brimmed hat holding a green apple heading our way. Not knowing how much time I’ll have with Ms. Cousins, I start asking questions.

“So what’s your favorite number?”

“42.” She said.

Laughs

“Musical number.”

“There’s an easy one. It’s a little ditty called, ‘File My Claim.’ I like it because it’s so flexible – you can sing it anywhere for almost any audience.

“That is a great number – a little spicy, but wonderful.”

“Mr. Quint, I’m surprised at you. Here I thought that you liked things a little spicy.”

Before I can answer she starts to giggle, shattering any problems that I may have had with my ego. The guy with the apple joins us.

“Mr. Quint, allow me to introduce a friend of mine; this is Brisco County Jr.”

I’m taken back with the name. After all, Brisco County Sr. was one of the finest lawmen that the western territories have ever seen. This man is the son of a legend.

“I didn’t know that Brisco County had a son.” I’m blurting but I can’t help myself.

“Neither did he.” He said turning his attention to Ms. Cousins. He asked her something about whether or not she had seen Comet recently. She told him that she hadn’t. He nodded at me and walked off seeking whatever ‘Comet’ was.

“I apologize Ms. Cousins. I didn’t mean to offend him.”

“Him! It’ll take a lot more than something like that to offend him, believe me.”

“What is ‘Comet’?” I ask. I had to know – in for a penny, in for a pound.

“It’s his horse.” She said. “They have a very good relationship.”

She must have seen the look on my face. It’s not every day that you hear of the bonds between a man and his horse.

“He understands the neighing.” She said not once breaking her tone. “Did you have anything else that you wanted to ask me?”

“Yes, of course. What are your feelings toward speculations that Vaudeville will replace the Variety Circuit?”

“Honey, there will always be a place where a man can get a drink and be entertained by singing and dancing. Don’t get me wrong – it’s a good idea to have people come out and be entertained but, I ask you, who is going to go someplace where they don’t serve alcohol? Not my clientele, Mr. Quint."

As if on cue a voice cuts into our conversation warning us that she has only one minute until curtain. I can hear the band working up the first few bars of ‘File My Claim.” The tones of it have a French quality to them. Ms. Cousins reads the question on my face before I get a chance to ask it.

“As I said, it is a flexible song. Depending on the room I could be singing it as ‘Ms. Cousins from Paris France or Ms. Cousins from Tequila Mexico – any way the band plays it that song fits the room. That’s the sign of a timeless piece of music, Mr. Quint. I love that sound.”

I thank her for her time and she collects herself, preparing to go out on stage for the fourth show of the evening. Just before she rushes off I remember an important question.

“Ms. Cousins! Before I forget, what is your favorite dirty joke?”

She breaks into a wide grin.

“Well, it’s funny you mention that. I just heard this…”

Her story is interrupted by the band’s rising volume. It’s time for her to go. She graces me with an apologetic look as she takes her place center stage for her fourth curtain of the evening. The curtain rises and her song begins anew.

So there it is Squirts, my interview with one of the finest talents of our time, Ms. Dixie Cousins. Next week I’ll be checking out what many are calling the future – Vaudeville! Until then keep yer eyes glued to Harry’s Rag!

– Quint

Catching Up

Gentle readers, it has come to my attention that I haven’t posted in a few weeks. I wanted to remedy this and, by gum, that’s just what I’m gonna do.

There have been three big factors at work in my neck of the woods most recently. Factor 1 – My wife has been ill with a migraine that has lasted; going into two weeks now. We are following up with every possible option. As always, any outcome is in bigger hands than mine. Get well Baby. Factor 2 – I’m deep into the process of writing a novel. Currently I’m in chapter 23, of ‘Bonny, Read and Rackham’ and it’s going great. I’m in the zone. Believe me you will hear more of this in the coming weeks and months. Factor 3 – I’m assisting a friend and his assembled cast and crew with a short film that is going to be entered into a new reality television show sponsored by Fox and Steven Spielberg. My friend is directing and (God help us) I’m one of the actors. It’s going to be a blast. There’s a lot of energy flowing and we are going to start shooting tomorrow night.

So there you have it, the most current three factors in the life of Evil Chicken. Hey, that’s my story and I’m stickin’ to it.

There is Nothing New Under the Sun

“Pirates of the Caribbean II – Dead Man’s Chest” is about to be released later this week on 7/7/06. While I’m really looking forward to seeing the movie on the big screen I can’t help but think of the potential fall out that may come in its wake. Controversy? - No, not at all; well at least not on a grand scale. What I mean is something a little more personal. You see, gentle reader, successful films breed other films in the same structure or vein. Why mention this? Well, back in October of 2003 I happened to write a treatment for a pirate story entitled, “Bonny, Read & Rackham”. It is a dramatization of the lives of three pirates who really existed – two of them happened to be women. I scripted it and currently am in the process of novelizing their story. I’ve got it all set before me, the beginning the middle and the end. History has already been written so all I do is let them whisper in my ear to connect the dots, so to speak, in fleshing out their story. It does not take much to get those ghosts talking. They have a story to be told. The crux of the matter is that their story is just too good to not be told.

Writing is a form of voyeurism. You listen to voices, see things that they see and record their deeds. You bare witness. Weird huh?

So what’s the big deal? Good question, my friend – let me get to the meat of the matter. I cannot tell you how many times that I have had ideas and projects that I have told to others or entered into contests or pitched to film studios that have been taken and developed without yours truly attached. Now I realize that the words of Solomon from Ecclesiastes 1:9 are true, “…there is nothing new under the sun,” but good grief…

I told my wife about something I was working on called the “Prometheus Foundation”. The premise was that Frankenstein’s Monster was alive and well in today’s world – the mysterious head of a major corporation working in research and development. I gave her the basics one winter while we were shoveling snow out of our driveway. Simplistic? Yeah. It wasn’t two days later that I heard about a project from a couple of guys that worked with the Wachowski brothers on ‘The Matrix’ trilogy called, “Doc Frankenstein”. It was a story where Frankenstein’s Monster was alive and well in today’s world; instead of being an enigmatic head of a shadowy corporation the Monster was some sort of super solider. Different yet closed enough for me to stop working on the project.

In the year 2000, my writing partner, who happens to be quite a talented fellow, and I got wind of ‘Project Greenlight.’ It was being produced by HBO, Matt Damon & Ben Afleck. At the show’s heart is to give new writers and directors a chance to do something in the film business. The concept is simple enough write a script or film a piece, be judged by your peers and the most voted for wins – one winning script and one winning director. Pretty neat, no? Yeah, we thought so too. We wrote a comedy entitled, “The Life of Robbie.” It was a funny first effort. It was gorilla comedy – we took now prisoners. It was about a former child actor who had fallen on hard times. Our protagonist turns to a life of crime in order to regain his lost notoriety and rekindle his career. We crafted what we thought would be an entertaining movie, converted it over to a PDF file and uploaded it to the Project Greenlight sight for judgment. Yes, we registered it with the WGA (Writer’s Guild of America), but we uploaded it nonetheless.

We didn’t win and justifiably so. It was our first effort and we didn’t yet have our technique down or any real idea what the standard was for a movie script. Still and all our reviews were pretty good by those who got it; those that didn’t thought it was a lowbrow, lowest common denominator comedy – ironically the very thing that we were shooting for. Ah success!

Time passed and a movie gets released from a major studio entitled, “Dickie Roberts, Former Child Star.” Hey, what do you know, it happened to be about a guy trying to regain his lost notoriety who happens to be a former child star. The film was more for a family audience than our script so instead of a life of crime the protagonist tries to buy his way into a family.

Great minds think alike, no?

We got word about a screenwriter conference in Los Angeles, packed our bags and flew out to California to pitch our ideas to the big studios. We regrouped and wrote a new story entitled, “Chick Flick.” We ratcheted up the rapid-fire comedy spoof and shish kabobed the Hollywood machine that spews out so many chick flicks onto a wholly unsuspecting public. Yep, there’s some pretty funny stuff in there and our technique improved to. Much of this was due to our reading up on the craft in books and magazines and the fact the my writing partner procured a copy of a program called, ‘Screenwriter 2000.’

Well, the long story short was we got some nibbles for ‘Chick Flick’ but ‘The Life of Robbie,’ was too close to ‘Dickie Roberts – Former Child Star’ to be considered for production. Hmm. We pitched ‘Chick Flick’ together, my partner pitched some of his personal projects and I pitched, ‘Bonny, Read & Rackham.’ I handed my treatment to a pair of spec producers who worked for a European firm and a talent agency.

We flew back to New Jersey and found out that Project Greenlight was going to go into production once more. Of course we entered again. Uploaded our WGA covered script to the Project Greenlight website for the world to see, read and judge. Once more those that got it loved it and those that didn’t didn’t. We didn’t win but our style had improved.

At least we had that going for us.

Time passed and another movie came out to local multiplexes across the country. Ours was called “Chick Flick” and this one was called, “Date Movie.” What do you know, it was an over the top satire that spoofed romantic comedies. I even think we pitched our idea to the company that made "Date Movie" while we were in L.A.

Isn’t “Simulations Development” a kick! Yeah, good times – good times.

I’m not saying that our ideas were necessarily stolen. I know that there is such a thing as “simultaneous development” – I know that there is nothing new under the sun. Fortunately, my writing partner has been doing well. He has been a finalist and a semifinalist for his most current project (which is some of his best work to date, by the way). Will we ever join up again for Project Greenlight? I doubt it. For all of its best intentions the contest is most certainly prejudiced aginst comedy and ideas can be exploited all too easily – or rather, “simultaneously developed.”

Sour grapes? Maybe yes - mabey no.

I believe that the best thing one can continue to do is continue. I haven’t stopped writing and someday it would be a hoot to participate in making a film although I have more faith in independent film than I do in ‘Hollywood’. What of “Bonny, Read & Rackham”? Mark my words – it is only a matter of time before this is brought to the big screen or somebody writes a best selling book. My friends, I hope that this time, yours truly will be involved.

Now that would be a refreshing change of pace.